Considering a long term relationship, but he has no college degree?

Please no hate, I am not a gold digger, I just want someone who I can be a team w/. I do have a BA, at the moment I am deciding what I want to do. In the mean time I have acquired a license and I work in the medical field. Almost a year ago now, I just got out of my 1st serious relationship w/a very unmotivated, immature and unambitious person, I will never date another person like him. I met a new guy, I really like him, but he has yet to go to college due to how expensive college is. He is currently saving up, but he does want to pursue a degree. Before I met my ex, I would have been extremely hesitant about this guy right away for not having a degree, but the experience from my 1st relationship has made me open my eyes. My ex did finish college, but the degree for him was pretty much just a piece of paper. My ex racked up a chunk of debt acquiring a degree only to be working a couple $s above min wage, w/absolutely no desire to find anything better or to begin paying off his debt

if its a dealbreaker for you, then find someone else. Why not give the new guy a try tho.

I know of some pretty ruthless and coldhearted people in the medical field. Some want to hurt you some want to help you. Im just saying it doesnt make you the superior person cause he chooses a minimum wage job.

It never bothered me that he had a min wage job (at the time I had one as well), just that he had no interests in pursuing something he truly enjoyed.

Your ex sounds a lot like someone I went out with a couple of years ago who wasted time paying for a degree when he was failing all his modules and couldn't make decent life choices for himself... which unfortunately meant we weren't on the same page. For that reason, I totally understand where you're coming from. It seems as though you're looking for stability- and I personally don't see anything wrong with that.

Having said that, this is not to say that you shouldn't give this new guy a chance. Just because he hasn't got a degree doesn't mean he isn't working towards something else (which could potentially be better and more lucrative) for him in the long run...

I do understand that this is your personal preference but after working in my field, I've learned better than to equate a college degree to someone being driven, ambitious and smart.

It never bothered me that he had a min wage job (at the time I had one as well), just that he had no interests in pursuing something he truly enjoyed.

All that said, your standards are your standards and you know better than us how malleable or not those may be. You'd be best serving both yourself and him by sticking to what you know to be true to you. And I don't consider it unreasonable to look for a partner who can chip in equally when it comes to your financial goals and to discount someone who is satisfied with a job that wouldn't allow him to do that. It's not a knock on him or you. It's just an incompatibility.

Do they teach kindness, gentleness, patience, generosity, forbearance and faithfulness at Colleges and Universities?

Bill Gates and Warren Buffet do not have college degrees. Do you consider them slackers?

My brother did not have a college degree, but ran our family business. He was one of the hardest working people I ever knew.

A degree does not mean everything, it's the individual.

Person:

This was your ex.

"My ex racked up a chunk of debt acquiring a degree only to be working a couple $s above min wage, w/absolutely no desire to find anything better or to begin paying off his debt"

Now to the present man:

You say he is keen to go to college. Does it matter to you if he does or does not?

Unfortunately you still sound angry and resentful about your ex and that seems to be more of a red flag than this guy's educational status and earning potential.

I will never date another person like him.

Yeah, I agree with Wiseman. Seems like the ex is still too fresh in your mind to have figured out exactly what you want next. And that's ok- so long as you don't take out your grievances with the ex and applying that to new men you choose to date. Waiting til you really know what you are looking for in a partner is an option too.

I met a new guy, I really like him, but he has yet to go to college due to how expensive college is. He is currently saving up, but he does want to pursue a degree.

This sounds like the right thing, to me. I see no problem. I see no laziness here.

Perhaps it could be that he learned from some other people's mistakes (including my own, to be honest) and does not wish to repeat them. It truly is a lot less stressful to wait a little bit and go to college debt free, or go part time and take longer, than it is to come out with student loan debt as big as a mortgage.

Honestly, sometimes patience is a sign of a motivated person. He's willing to give up a small amount now to have more later. He's thinking of what student loan debt can prevent him from doing...including things for you later on. Maybe he'd rather give you the security of a home that some bank can't take away in foreclosure. Sounds admirable to me.

I'd recommend giving him a chance, and appreciate the idea that he does not want to pull YOU down with HIS student loan debt.

Please no hate, I am not a gold digger, I just want someone who I can be a team w/. I do have a BA, at the moment I am deciding what I want to do. In the mean time I have acquired a license and I work in the medical field. Almost a year ago now, I just got out of my 1st serious relationship w/a very unmotivated, immature and unambitious person, I will never date another person like him. I met a new guy, I really like him, but he has yet to go to college due to how expensive college is. He is currently saving up, but he does want to pursue a degree. Before I met my ex, I would have been extremely hesitant about this guy right away for not having a degree, but the experience from my 1st relationship has made me open my eyes. My ex did finish college, but the degree for him was pretty much just a piece of paper. My ex racked up a chunk of debt acquiring a degree only to be working a couple $s above min wage, w/absolutely no desire to find anything better or to begin paying off his debt

Pretty superficial stuff, but then you are entitled to choose who you want.

If it's money you're concerned about, then college degrees have nothing to do with it. You do seem a little hung up on this "do they have a degree" bit. Fair enough, I guess. Seems a little strange though.

Date motivated people. Going to university is not an exclusive reflection of that.

Please no hate, I am not a gold digger, I just want someone who I can be a team w/. I do have a BA, at the moment I am deciding what I want to do. In the mean time I have acquired a license and I work in the medical field. Almost a year ago now, I just got out of my 1st serious relationship w/a very unmotivated, immature and unambitious person, I will never date another person like him. I met a new guy, I really like him, but he has yet to go to college due to how expensive college is. He is currently saving up, but he does want to pursue a degree. Before I met my ex, I would have been extremely hesitant about this guy right away for not having a degree, but the experience from my 1st relationship has made me open my eyes. My ex did finish college, but the degree for him was pretty much just a piece of paper. My ex racked up a chunk of debt acquiring a degree only to be working a couple $s above min wage, w/absolutely no desire to find anything better or to begin paying off his debt

Not everyone has the desire to go to college and acquire a degree, and just because someone may have a degree doesn't mean that they're all that motivated to do much with their life. There are a lot of MA's, MS's and MB's with a PhD in BS when it comes to life and pursuing their worth. You don't need a degree to be successful in this life, what you need is a positive attitude. The theory that you need a college degree to be successful in life is no longer true. A degree might help to make things a little bit easier but it's not the measuring stick at determining what direction your future will go. That's why you see a lot of people these days without degrees that are successful in business and/or creating their own empire. And when you measure success don't measure it just toward the celebrity and entertainers you see on television. It gets deeper than that. There are a lot of successful people in the world but are not world renowned celebrities living the star life and that's the best way to live in my opinion. People with degrees always look good on paper. As far as dating goes, that's a whole another realm. But you shouldn't measure them according to what's on paper, you measure them according to what's inside of their heart. See with your soul, not with your eyes, OP. That's how you determine what a man is worth.

Peace.