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Thread: Women...men in their 40's, never engaged, married, no kids, etc.

  1. #1
    shygal2008
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    Women...men in their 40's, never engaged, married, no kids, etc.

    I have a question for the ladies..what do you think of 40 year old men who have never lived with a woman, been engaged, married, etc. would you question if they are boyfriend or better yet....husband material?

    This conversation came up at work today and many of the woman say that a red flag would go up if they met a man who has never been engaged or married and was 40 plus years old.



    What do you all think? Any experience with this?


    Thanks so much


    I also want to add that i know there can be circumstances that are out of their control..and woman too can have these same issues..i have friends who are female who are single..but they had at least one long term relationship each (one engaged, one lived together for many years) and are both now 40ish!
    Last edited by shygal2008; 02-14-2011 at 08:34 PM.

  2. #2
    Crazyaboutdogs
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    Hmmm...so I guess these women think that a man with a failed marriage and a bunch of failed live-in relationships is a much better catch...no red flags there!!

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    BriarRose
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    I don't meet that many that age who never were married - but no, I don't have any issues with it.

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    shygal2008
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    Hmmm...so I guess these women think that a man with a failed marriage and a bunch of failed live-in relationships is a much better catch...no red flags there!!


    No thats not what was said..but they felt at least if he had a divorce in his past that he would be opened to marriage or not be afraid of commitment. This was also based on experiences these women have had.

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    abitbroken
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    I am dating one. He was 40 when we met, and turning 41 that year. There are advantages and disadvantages. And not all men in their 40s who have never done those things are the same. Some have had a revolving door of girlfriends but never committed and got lucky in the contraceptive department and some were really immersed in work or hobbies and just never met the one/had few girlfriends. So its not really a fair and equal question. Also, i don't think guys who had been engaged, etc, necessarily have baggage just because they were.

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    BriarRose
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    I am in my 40's and never married and I don't have a fear of commitment. It's just hard to meet people after a certain age, I don't judge them for never having found what they are looking for. As long as they don't want kids - that ship has sailed for me, lol!

  7. #7
    shygal2008
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    Also, i don't think guys who had been engaged, etc, necessarily have baggage just because they were.

    I think they would view that as a better thing..not as a negative....to have atleast had that experience.

    I peronally would not let it stop me, as long as he told me he was open to being married some day, have kids, etc.

  8. #8
    Crazyaboutdogs
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    Quote Originally Posted by shygal2008 [Register to see the link]
    Hmmm...so I guess these women think that a man with a failed marriage and a bunch of failed live-in relationships is a much better catch...no red flags there!!


    No thats not what was said..but they felt at least if he had a divorce in his past that he would be opened to marriage or not be afraid of commitment. This was also based on experiences these women have had.
    Lots of divorced people will have a string of partners but choose never to marry again. There are plenty of commitmentphobic people who are indeed married or have been married. These people get married for image but want no emotional closeness to their partner. In other words, they may have gotten married but they were not committed to the partner and to their marriage. These women have a very narrow and naive view of people and relationships and don't really understand that it is not one size fits all.

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    capilot
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    I'm in my 50's. Never married. I have lived with women.

    I had a girlfriend once who called me a commitment-phobe because I didn't want to get married. I asked her how longer her longest relationship was -- including her first husband. Her answer was a year and a half. I pointed out that my *shortest* relationship ever was four years. So which one of us had trouble with commitment?

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    Fudgie
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    I wouldn't have an issue with it.

    I think it may be a bit of a red flag if the guy NEVER EVER had a relationship ever in his life, but still, I could overlook that, I would just have to get to know him first.

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