pchellak

I completely agree with you guys that in some cases the system is unfair and unjust. But as a person from the west, you only come accross a few individuals with arranged marriages. How can you judge a system based on a few? Just my 2 cents!

Its definitely not a thing of the past and it certainly is not a tribal deal. Just because it does not exist in the west does not mean it doesn't exist. There exists a world outside of the US. There are cultures where it is still popular. It has evolved from its strict traditional stance but still exists.

I see so much bashing against arranged marriages in this forum, i think it is unfair. I am from the East but I have lived in the US for the past 8 years. I also come from a culture where arranged marriage has been the norm even in the 21st century. I know it is an old system but i dont think it's not all that bad if practiced properly. Even in the west with the dating system, if you look around you will notice most couples marry within their own race. Why is that? i dont think its racism but i think its mostly because you tend to have more in common with each other when you are from the same culture. I think dating has its disadvantages also; you may tend to have emotional baggage from prior relationships. Maybe even have residual feelings from these relationships. For a person like me in the west, i dont necessarily have much in common with an american girl. I have tried it for a while and realized my pool of potential partners is very limited. Also, as a foreigner i have realized most americans are xenophobic when it comes to relationships. So what do i do? I opted for an arranged marriage about a year ago. I got introduced to a few girls back home and abroad by relatives and friends. I spoke and even met a few of them. Most of them did not work out for various reasons either from my end or the other. I was finally introduced to a girl by another relative last year. I spoke with her from the US and we got quite close. I met her while i was there in my home country earlier this year and spent some time with her. After i returned back, We continued to talk quite regularly. After a few months we both decided to get married to each other. Now, Whats wrong with this system ('arranged marriage')?

I look at some of those comments that say 'its no big deal, just ignore the hurtful comments'. My guess would be those people have not experienced a interracial relationship firsthand. The truth of the matter is in some parts of the US, people (usually country folks of a certain race) shun and hate you when they see such a relationship. MOst of them are also vocal about it. Since these fellas are a majority in some places like WV & PA, it gets to you and starts affecting the relationship eventually. Human beings are after all social animals and we depend on other human beings.

I believe in prenups as long as its fair. I didn't believe in them until I watched a TV show recently on divorced women (suze ormon show). Holy smokes ... I didn't realize some women can be that vicious. They just didnt seem to care about the ex husband, all they cared about was money, house and how to strip the guy off it. Lets be honest more than 50% of marriages will fail.

I noticed in this post that guys did not have any comments. Probably a lot of guys are thinking like me. We say the stupidest things, sometimes without thinking first. Maybe he was teasing you or maybe he was being dramatic. I dont see a reason to analyze that one blurt and assume he is an abusive person based on just one comment. Unless you have other reasons to suspect that he is abusive.

Whats wrong with being a loner? Some people are extroverts and others are introverts. Similarly some people draw energy from others whereas others like to be alone. But for heavens sake dont try to change him for your own benefit. I can assure you he is going to hate you for it.

I was wondering if anybody has good or bad experiences with relationships where girls are more educated than guys. I went out with a girl who is more educated (she has a PhD) and i was just curious.

Where do you live? Where i live, most people cannot afford homes anymore. Here in LA, I know families that live in apartments because they cant afford a home.

It seems like you have made up your mind to be with Josh, so I dont know what you are looking for here. However, if it was me i would stay away from any abusive person. Also, If you were in the US i would ask you to get a restraining order.

I agree. ...

'the one and only someone' is make-belief fantasy, courtesy of Hollywood made popular by chick flick movies.

Good Point! ... I think the bottom line is, some people will always find reasons to hate fellow human beings. Race and color of skin will give way to some other stupid reasons.

I think she made it very clear that she wants to be JUST your friend by saying 'we aren't dating'. You are lucky, most girls dont make it that obvious. You just need to move on ... buddy.

Correct me if i am wrong but they were all white. Even today people dont have problem with the Races as much as with the color of a persons skin. I am sure most people will be fine as long as the interracial relationship is between people of same color. To this date, some people (mostly white) view Black, brown and yellow skinned people as racially inferior to White skinned people ( however stupid it may seem ! ).