ToV, i am very sorry for your pain right now, I don't even know what to say that might adequately convey my sorrow for what you are feeling, but like Melrich i wanted to also say that was very very well written and you definitely have a gift for prose and poetry. I also think you should submit this somewhere for professional feedback. I thought at first you had copied this from someplace else, then I realized it was your own original work.
I am very sorry again for what you are going thru.