Box Diver Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 I only ask because my girlfriend (yes, we're back together) says that it's very degrading and that "the least I can do is look her in the eye" when we are making love. When I said we can still make eye contact if she turns her head, she said "I can't believe you said that." Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 I dont see why it matters what others think because other people will not influence what your gf thinks. Unfortunately you are going to have a hard time convincing her to think different. Link to comment
EvaGina Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Gah, I am torn on this one. On one hand, yes, it can be a bit daunting, not so much degrading, but its a very vunerable position to be in and its definitely submissive... On the other hand, she should grow the hell up and stop being such a prude... "the least you can do"? thats such a purile, snotty nosed little thing to say... Link to comment
fnlyfrei Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 I don't think so. Why do some people not use commas here. I get out of breath reading run on sentences with no breaks like this one for instance when you don't use a comma you mentally run out of breath. Link to comment
willow2900 Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 "the least I can do is look her in the eye" when we are making love. When I said we can still make eye contact if she turns her head, she said "I can't believe you said that." that's funny! That made me laugh out loud. I think it's ok. If she is insecure about it though, you might have to try something else. (lot's out there...be inventive!) Link to comment
forza2 Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 I only ask because my girlfriend (yes, we're back together) says that it's very degrading and that "the least I can do is look her in the eye" when we are making love. When I said we can still make eye contact if she turns her head, she said "I can't believe you said that." If that's what she thinks, just don't use that position!!! Ask her why she thinks that way and try to understand her point of view. BTW, now that she says "look her in the eye" while making "love", she might be thinking that you two are in love w/each other and all. If you're in love with her, good for you if not then just respect her and don't use doggie I guess, actually if you loved her you wouldn't be here asking this question, you would just not use doggie!!!!! Edit: Sorry, i kinda said everything wrong. I just realized today that I don't know the first thing about women!!! Sure I got laid before, I can ask girls out, get numbers and everything, but I still don't understand them. But this one questions you asked was easy: Some people just don't like some things. Good luck Link to comment
CelesteSeven Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 short story: my boyfriend, when we weren't together, would "get off" on the thought of me. eventually, his getting off was soley in the doggy-style position... where you can't see the woman's face. Not too long after this, I figured out he wasn't attracted to me. And it wasn't because I wouldn't do the position (we weren't having actual intercourse at that point). I don't think it's degrading... but some can view it as submissive, like Eva said. You might have to work up her comfort level on that; I know I'd be comfortable if I knew (and I know) that my boyfriend really loves me and isn't doing the position just because it makes imagining another girl easier! just my $.02 but talk to her about it. Ask why she feels that way, explain to her why you want to do the position. Talking about it might improve your situation. Link to comment
Stari Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 She seems to want the mental connection(looking in each other's eyes) each time you are intimate. Has she got the opinion that lust is dirty? I guess the doggy style can be vulnerable for the woman. This is why I don't start with the doggy the first time with a new woman. If a woman isn't used to the doggy she might feel like Jenna Jameson when getting into position. You no longer have eye contact but you can still communicate with your voices. So you your voices. If she actally enjoys sex, which I hope she does, she might discover that the different angle of penetration feels good to her. Link to comment
doyathink Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 I was going to make the same comment as CelesteSeven did. She may be thinking that you are wanting her in that position so it's easier for you to fantasize that you are with another women...idk. Link to comment
caro33 Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 For several women I know, doggie style is the only way they can climax. Yes it can be degrading if certain people choose to make it that way. For others in a respectful and committed relationship it's just another position that you shift to when the mood hits. Link to comment
sweetheart607 Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Is she a self consciencous person? because that's the only thing i sometimes don't like about it when i am feeling self conscious is the my butt is the main think you can see. lol But i would have to say it's up there as one of my favs but everyone has different opinions talk to her about it and if she still doesn't want to do it leave it there are a million and one other face to face positoins that she might love better Link to comment
EvaGina Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 I find it can still be close and intimate. -ahem- when Macca and I do it we will do it in the classic way for a while, but his interest wanes when he feels we arent close (cute!) so I do is straighten up, he can put his arms around me, kiss me, but its still from behind, and then if he wants to see again I can just lean up against the wall. EDIT: when its normal doggy its quite nice becuase they are obviously admireing your body, but Im not a huge fan of having his whole weight push me into the mattress... its quite aggressive Link to comment
sophie274 Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Well, I don't personally find it degrading. But she does. Would you be ok with not having sex in that position? Perhaps she is feeling a bit insecure and will eventually change her mind, or maybe she really doesn't like it. I think it's up to you to decide how much this matters to you, but you shouldn't expect her to change her mind. I also don't think you should criticize her reluctance - she is allowed her preference, and it's not going to make her more disposed to it anyway! Link to comment
joiseygrl Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 I love doggie style... it's my favorite position. Get a mirror for the head board so you can look at each other. Link to comment
applepie Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 I definitely don't find doggie style degrading. I find it pleasureable and I enjoy trying something a little different every now and then. I never understood the whole looking into each other's eyes thing. I actually close my eyes most of the time during sex so that I can concentrate more. I think it's only degrading if you let yourself believe it is. In all honesty, I don't really think it's that much different to any other position. Perhaps she's self conscious of her butt? Lots of girls are. Link to comment
texas_sweet_heart27 Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Simply put... sex is a wonderful thing shared between two people. And the best sex stems from the intamicy, trust, security, love, and passion that is already there in the relationship. The sex only enhances those things even more and brings you to a new level of each. It's ment to be fun, enjoyable, pleasurable, and something only shared between those two persons. Your there to please here and she's there to please you. And all the while.. you can enjoy each other. Sex cant be selfish.. or you can ruin it. If your partner is uncomfortable with something... talk about it. Don't take their concern lightly. In your case... I DONT THINK THE POSITION IS THE PROBLEM. She's uncomfortable with a certain position and thinks it degrates her. Surely.. a feeling of being "degrated" isn't something you want establish in her mind when you have sex with her. You want her to feel beautiful, loved, cherished, adored, wanted, needed... ect. If you notice shes feeling something that doesnt fit into that list, stop and assess it. Find out why. But ALSO,... >>>surely this feeling didnt just suddenly pop up out of no where just from a change of position in bed. I mean think about it logically....If she's thinking that a simple position can degrate her... theres a lack of trust and security there. She couldnt just be completey secured with you, trust you emotionally, adore you, know your intentions are to love her and cherish her...and suddenly get in a position and doubt it all and think ..."you know what, maybe he doesnt respect me like i thought cuz now he's coming in from behind and not looking me in the eye." Thats crazy to think it is all stemming from that! Its not. We women are emotional messes some time.. but still... we're usually more rational than that...to let a smple change of position in bed change our whole perspective of our man?.. come on. There are unresolved things lying beneath this problem my friend. Im a woman. I promise there is. Dont kow what they are, but im sure you can find out if you take the time and do it out of love to where she KNOWS its out of love. I know nothing about your relatinoship or how yall stand or how it is... Find out where her lack of security with you comes from. Then go from there. Hope you found something helpful in this. Link to comment
jengh Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 I don't find it degrading at all. In fact, it's one of my favorite positions. Now, if the guy ONLY wanted to do doggy, then I might be a little put off by it, thinking, hmm... am i really that awful to look at? But if it's just one of several positions you do, then I think it's great. Link to comment
rocio Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 I actually close my eyes most of the time during sex so that I can concentrate more. lol... it's not calculus, you know! Just kidding.. I do too. If doggie style is the primary position you use, or if she gets the sense that you have a strong preference for it, then I can see how she could feel degraded. Have you ever watched Monster's Ball? Go buy a sex book with all sorts of different positions (splurge and get one with sexy pictures for added fun). Try out a couple new positions every time you have sex. You're bound to find something similar to doggie style that allows for eye contact (without her having to turn her head!) Link to comment
jimthzz Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 wife won't do it because she is very hung up about her body. She doesn't want me to see her bumhole. Silly, right? that said, it's been years since she even let me. totally her head trip. Link to comment
darthpeladus Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Even before me and my girl start having sex, we talked about things we would and would not do. She told me that she felt dogy was degrading, but maybe she will want to try it. Some times after we started having sex, we tryed doggy, and she doesnt think is degrading any more. She really enjoys this position, and shw knows I love her and that I dont see it as degrading so she feels comfortable with it... But its true, if we want to make love, and not just sex, we prefer to do it in missionare or she on top.... Link to comment
amtjrtcet Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 I only ask because my girlfriend (yes, we're back together) says that it's very degrading and that "the least I can do is look her in the eye" when we are making love. When I said we can still make eye contact if she turns her head, she said "I can't believe you said that." HECK NO I think its great. My fav actually. But everyone has an opinion. Link to comment
amtjrtcet Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 I get out of breath reading run on sentences with no breaks like this one for instance when you don't use a comma you mentally run out of breath. That's funny.....I know what you mean. Link to comment
Honey Pumpkin Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Yeah, I'm torn on this one - it feels good. And I'm not a prude. BUT I have heard jokes/nasty comments from blokes about women they consider ugly who they would have have sex with doggie style (or to be totally crude about it, 'I'd do her from behind'). I think it's stuff like that that makes some women feel sensitive about this position, to be honest. In the UK at least, in some chauvinist male eyes, it's the position you have sex with a woman you don't find attractive. So I can kind of see your girlfriend's POV. But talk to her about it - if you're in a loving, committed and hopefully sexually hot relationship, then it's worth exploring these feelings more Link to comment
EvaGina Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 How about startign off by spooning her?... thats from behind and it definitely isnt degrading Link to comment
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