Seriously - is all this really going on?

[SquareWheel]

Oh be serious everybody!

 

I keep reading these adventurous stories, and after so long I just have to stop and ask how much of the goings-on that I read about are really happening, and how much is really just fantasizing, urban legends, and wishful thinking.

 

I mean, I've read stories about people who meet at parties and and jump in bed together the same night. Threesomes and moresomes. Friends with benefits, who pop over and visit each other just for sex. Teen-aged guys being seduced by sexually aggressive twentysomething, thirtysomething, or fortysomething women. People meeting from dating sites and sleeping together after just one or two meetings. And apparently practically everybody everywhere doing oral sex.

 

It may sound like a silly question to all of you worldly, experienced, globe-trotting sophisticates out there, but this is coming from a frustrated guy who's never had a girlfriend in his forties. Really... on the level... this is an anonymous forum, after all... are people actually doing all these things?

[DN]

Not all of them - but some of them.

[nicorette]

I think it happens more than one would think. Although I dont think youre really missing out - my opinion anyhow.

[EvaGina]

I have done everything that I claim

but I havnt claimed much

 

Then again, there is much people dont know...

 

I dont see why all these things arent happening... I would say it would only be a one-off for most people... or a phase, not a lifestyle

[MissTee]

I have slept with someone I met at a party - that night

I've practised oral sex in all sorts of places

And I have been in a "friends with benefits" situation

 

None of even comes close to comparing with the relationship I have with my bf. It was all just experience, some of wasn't even enjoyable or fun. Just passing time I guess.

[Ash]

Yep, pretty much all of those things happen. I know of quite a few things like that personally that have occurred to people around me.

 

I've *ahem* done the odd thing or two in my life along these lines.

 

The people engaged in these activities do tend sometimes to talk about their antics on occasion which is why we hear of it. Not everybody does these things though. But all it takes is a few to have the stories bouncing around.

[shes2smart]

Are people actually doing these things?

 

Some people are. Some are blowing sunshine up your skirt and want you to think they are.

 

I've been involved in the public BDSM scene for about 9 years now. In that time I've personally done a variety of things and witnessed a greater variety of people doing various things. When we bought our house, one of the things that was on our list of "must haves" was a basement we could convert into a dungeon/BDSM play space...which we did as soon as we finished painting/decorating the main part of the house.

 

These things...and stuff you haven't even thought of yet...are certainly going on. But if you are not plugged into a group or groups of folks who are doing (and not just talking), then it could easily appear that it's all made up.

[ScreenagerX]

I have slept with someone I met at a party - that night

I've practised oral sex in all sorts of places

And I have been in a "friends with benefits" situation

 

That list reads like mine and I've always thought I'm pretty tame compared to some of the people I know.

 

None of even comes close to comparing with the relationship I have with my bf. It was all just experience, some of wasn't even enjoyable or fun. Just passing time I guess.

 

I also agree with the "none of it even comes close to" but in my case it was the relationship I had with my wife or my current GF. Alot of the time it was just something to do

[EmptySoul]

Yes, all of those things are most definitly happening. Even moreso when drugs and alcohol are envolved. Well I know they're all happening, except for the teenager/older woman thing, I'm not sure about that one, but it probably happens too.

 

-E.

[ScreenagerX]

except for the teenager/older woman thing, I'm not sure about that one, but it probably happens too.

 

I wish that had happened when I was a teenager................

[SquareWheel]

Okay, that parting question was perhaps a bit rhetorical. (Although I still really wonder.) I've just been feeling particularly frustrated lately and really needed to vent. I just shake my head in amazement when I contemplate how different life is for different people.

 

I'd sell my soul to the devil to have just one of some of the experiences that seem to be just a part of everyday life for everybody else here. I mean, if some attractive adult woman had "initiated" me when I was 14, or if I'd had a wild fling with a woman I'd met just that day, I'd feel my life was made.

 

It wouldn't matter if I were run over by a truck the next day, I'd feel my life was complete.

 

I know how silly that sounds to most of you, especially to the ladies (women never seem to understand men's ability to enjoy casual intimacy), but this is how you feel after 30+ years of wishing and hoping and obsessing, all the while hearing that your own ultimate fantasies are coming true for everyone around you.

 

Heck, at this point all I ask in life is to just lose my virginity and I'll be satisfied.

 

Okay, that's it. I've got it all off my chest and I feel better now. Thanks for listening, and particularly thanks to everyone who replied.

[Dako]

Look at the problems of STDs and unplanned pregnancy, infidelity and consider it's the tip of an iceberg. I've seen friends and family do some bizarre things, and have had offers, but I'm a prude.

 

I think it depends on your surroundings, drugs, alcohol and subcultural trends.

[Steven1607307306]

I've had some pretty...crazy experiences, and I think it becomes more common as time passes because sex is becoming more and more casual these days. And I'm confused...did you say you were thirty-somthing, and a virgin?

[Weeblie]

I like to believe these things don't happen. Yup. I'm going to stay safe in my little bubble.

[Dako]

In the 70s, the pill had liberated a lot of people to fool around, and psychoactive drugs were very commonly used. My friend Edward had New Year's day Mazola parties with dozens of people. A lawyer and his wife hosted Sexual Freedom League meetings , and one fellow I know had a group of women who waited their turn outside his bedroom each night. I worked with some women who routinely and matter-of-factly would ask me to ____them, and one woman there had sex with more than 6 of the guys.

I got a vasectomy about then, and put almost a hundred condoms in a salad bowl on my desk, and they were all taken by day's end.

All week, condom wrappers were appearing in the trashcan in the photo darkroom.

 

I was a prude and behaved myself.

 

Yeah, things are wild these days...

[Steven1607307306]

 

Yeah, things are wild these days...

 

Hah...

[shikashika]

yeah of course those things happen all the time Most people I know have had a one night stand.. experimented etc etc... and those are all my square friends.. ha ha ha ha.. No seriously.. my friends who have had threesomes, hooked up with randoms at a party etc etc are elementary school teachers, mothers and fathers and accountants.

 

I'd say its much more common than you think and done by the people who you expect it the least from

[wayne]

I guess some guys have the looks and charisma such that women are willing to take chances with them and play outrageously with them for the hell of it.

 

While other guys are not, and aren't even seen as sexual beings by most women. A select few might fall in love with them and then decide to be sexual with them, but no woman would even consider a casual fling with them.

 

Kinda sucks, but there it is.

[SquareWheel]

Actually Steven, I'm well into my forties and still a virgin. Man it's discouraging sometimes! But I never quit trying. Someday I'll figure out a way to meet women and then I can begin finally making up some of the life experiences I've missed. I hope.

[EvaGina]

I guess some guys have the looks and charisma such that women are willing to take chances with them and play outrageously with them for the hell of it.

 

While other guys are not, and aren't even seen as sexual beings by most women. A select few might fall in love with them and then decide to be sexual with them, but no woman would even consider a casual fling with them.

 

Kinda sucks, but there it is.

 

depends on the woman

I have had a lot of flings with men that have never been considered sexual by anyone else

[g1234567890h]

My girlfriend and I both have had our share of flings, and I'll tell you, sex with someone you like is much better than sex with someone you don't know. With a hookup you might have sex once and it probably won't be that good, so it's not really worth it to begin with. To have really good sex you have to find someone to practice on.

[lizziebee]

Square-I had to really think about what I should write here for you without giving you my life story with all the outrageous and unbelievable twists and near death experiences, and I am not talkin' Shirley Mclaine here!

The reason this site is so powerful, for the most part, is because of the people from all over the globe that need some kind of feed back, whether it be sexual, parenting, parent-problems, and the rest you know...its listed babe. When I come accross a thread or post that seems, uhm, questionable I will just skip over and see if anyone else is needing to REALLY talk about their experiences. So hang in there, have fun, cry, stomp your feet or play a game.

[Dako]

Anonymous wild sex has some risks.

Sure, those two women who want a threesome with you seem okay, but one could be married to a cop, and the other stopped taking the pill because she thinks they bring on her herpes outbreaks.

[sddeaston]

Anonymous wild sex has some risks.

Sure, those two women who want a threesome with you seem okay, but one could be married to a cop, and the other stopped taking the pill because she thinks they bring on her herpes outbreaks.

 

Hmmm. So, only pick the ones who are *currently* on the pill?

 

These things ARE happening. I have had my share of wild moments and fun times, but they were all shared with my lady at the time.

 

I have also witnessed many girls degrading themselves in public in hopes for ANY kind of attention, and seen guys go home with them, or take them to the nearest dark corner and do what seemed natural. I don't feel like I am missing out on anything.

 

Sex with a woman I am totally into over sex with the random model-like woman...any day.

[Daddy Bear]

SW, you come accross as very likeable and your junk apparently works, so I can't imagine that there aren't a gang of women who would love to be your partner. You must be fishing in the wrong place - what are you doing to find yourself a mate?