How much does a picture tell...?

[I_KicKed_keNNedy]

Today I was looking in my gf's closet for a DVD and I found some pictures from her vacation in August. She had gone down there with two of her friends. I was surprised they existed because she had never shown them to me (I have sat through many an hour of "this is Tiffany really drunk, and there's a shoe she found in the parking lot... its so funny...").

 

There's a few pictures of a guy I knew she was pretty tight with and one picture of them kissing very passionately in a bar.

 

This was months ago, and things have been really good since. We did have one rough patch (which... was not too long after she came back from the trip). I want to let this go, 'cause maybe it was just a kiss and nothing more but there are a few things that bother me about it...

 

1) He and she talk pretty consistantly on the phone, and one time he said "I love you" and when I asked about it she said, "I dunno.. he gets weird sometimes."

 

2) When we had sex when she came home, we had to stop after a short while because she said "It feels really raw down there..." and I figured it was because we hadn't had sex in two weeks.

 

3) There's doubles of every picture in that envelope, except for that one.

 

Do I say something? Am I paranoid?

[kellbell]

Hey there,

 

Yikes, ummm, I would say something if I were in your situation.

 

All I have to say is this guy would not be bothering if your girlfriend was not encouraging him in some way. I would definitely confront her about those pictures.

[JoeWho]

Trust your gut feeling and dont be afraid to find out the truth.

[vermilion]

You know, if they were kissing in a bar it's very likely they were drunk- not something that would happen if she were thinking clearly.

 

Maybe she felt guilty about it which is why you two were having a rough patch.

 

But try not to get yourself upset over little things like friends that say "I love you" and thinking that a kiss points to her having a full-blown affair.

 

You should talk to her about it- soon. It's not a good idea to try to find out on your own, and the longer you wait to bring it up the more it will eat at you. It's a good idea to ask her about the pictures in a non-confrontational way.

[Iceman26]

one picture of them kissing very passionately in a bar.

 

1) He and she talk pretty consistantly on the phone, and one time he said "I love you" and when I asked about it she said, "I dunno.. he gets weird sometimes."

 

2) When we had sex when she came home, we had to stop after a short while because she said "It feels really raw down there..." and I figured it was because we hadn't had sex in two weeks.

 

 

Check please!

 

If this isn't suspicious I don't know what is. If he has been making out with her, tells her he loves her on the phone, and she came back from a trip with a raw vagina, well, that would be enough for me to leave that relationship pretty quick my friend.

[Day_Walker]

The picture is enough for me not to trust her so I would drop her.

[Siriana]

And you're thinking you're overreacting because of...?

[G0d]

I would definitely confront the guy in the picture. Bring the pic and a basball bat with you when you do it!

[BYOB]

Her reaction is the best clue you can have. That sentence..."I dunno...he gets pretty weird sometimes." is your answer.

 

How did you hear the words "I love you." coming from his mouth on the phone ?

 

"I dunno": She feels confused. It can be either by:

A: It's the first time that she is told "I love you"

B: It's the first time that she is caught.

 

"He gets pretty weird sometimes": Means she think that the feeling of love is weird in that situation. Alright.

Have you ever said that you loved a man? (it's not just about true feelings)

In my case, I did (I'm straight) but the really important point in all of that is when do you place those words. I would say that you won't place it at the very end of a conversation unless it is a true feeling.

 

I can garantee 99% that this question will have you find out the truth: Where is the double of this picture?

If she took it with her, it means that it's precious. If it's precious, she can't have lost it. She probably gave it.

 

My point of view: Just told you what were the facts but what's to be done is to talk, drop her, move on.

[Maverick32x]

agree with everyone here... VERY suspicious... and the "its raw down there" would of had me asking questions pretty much instantly..... Also the missing picture means that she probably gave it to him? I dunno~

 

 

Talk to her about it~

[Newo Ikkin]

Hmmm...fishy...tres fishy..

 

Dont pass it up. Confront her. Confront him. Listen to both stories.

 

...Urgh.

[I_KicKed_keNNedy]

I just did about five minutes ago.

 

I asked her about the duplicate and she said he's got the other one. All she said was "We were really drunk." Her throat tightened, and she tried to act as if it was no big deal, but I could tell she was a bit taken aback.

 

I asked her "How would you feel if you found a picture of me doing the same thing?" And she responded, "I'd probably be pissed."

 

I didn't ask about sex, I didn't ask anything else. All I did was get out of the car and say "I'm not cool with this. We'll talk about it later."

 

And that was it.

[I_KicKed_keNNedy]

Confront him.

 

 

I don't have any intention of doing so. I don't know him. He's from another state, and I have no desire to meet him. I don't feel any distaste towards him because he, like many other men, felt fondly of her. It was her job to resist his advances. It could have just been left at that, but she chose to let him kiss her.

 

She may have been drunk when she kissed him, but I doubt she was drinking when she mailed him the photo.

[ImThatGirl]

Curious - how long were you dating before her vacation?

[I_KicKed_keNNedy]

We'd been seeing each other since February. We became exclusive at the beginning of July.

[BellaDonna]

I just did about five minutes ago.

 

I asked her about the duplicate and she said he's got the other one. All she said was "We were really drunk." Her throat tightened, and she tried to act as if it was no big deal, but I could tell she was a bit taken aback.

 

I asked her "How would you feel if you found a picture of me doing the same thing?" And she responded, "I'd probably be pissed."

 

I didn't ask about sex, I didn't ask anything else. All I did was get out of the car and say "I'm not cool with this. We'll talk about it later."

 

And that was it.

 

 

I think you need to just come out and ask her her the tough questions. (In person so you can study her response) Don't bother dancing around the topic, just be very direct.

 

I don't know her, but all of the various things you mentioned do not seem good at all...

 

BellaDonna

[ImThatGirl]

Yeaahhh then - I'd be a little concerned. But I don't think it demands a break up.

 

How is your relationship otherwise?

[BYOB]

That answer is not like: "I lost it", "thrown it in the garbage" or "it's somewhere in my room" which is good because it means that she has nothing to hide from you. In other words, if you weren't told about those pictures, it's not like there is a secret behind it. You will probably find everything out soon.

 

One thing to avoid now would be to make the conversation you told her you'd have with her soon become a fight. Otherwise, I'd be relieved; it's not about to be the worse case ever.

[I_KicKed_keNNedy]

I talked to her again a few minutes ago.

 

She claimed she had told me about this before. She's lying. I DEFINITELY would have remembered that. There would have been an argument and a huge deal and when I saw the photo it would have been "Oh, so that's what she was talking about," rather than " ?"

 

I knew she had kissed guys before, its considered polite to give someone a hug and a peck where we are from, but it is never acceptable to out and out make out with them.

 

I'm more ticked at the fact she did hide it from me and that she's lying about that now. And the fact that she's acting flustered: "I don't know what more I can say," almost as if she's expecting me to be like, "Oh don't worry about it, I just got a little jealous. I'll be better in a few hours." If I had done something like this she would have beat the living hell out of me.

 

I'm so mad, I'm not sure what to do. There was a day where I could find solace in a bottle of cab and a pack of smokes, but I don't do that any more. How the heck do you unleash your angry emotions with yoga and meditation? Burn more incense?

[Iceman26]

I'm so mad, I'm not sure what to do.

 

Sure you do. Dump her. Honestly, I know you love her but if she loved you she wouldn't be making out with other guys (and keeping the pictures of it) and complaining about a raw vagina when she comes home from a vacation that you weren't there for.

 

This bickering with her is pointless; she obviously isn't going to admit to anything and what she has said would be enough of a response for me. What more proof do you need?

[Siriana]

How the heck do you unleash your angry emotions with yoga and meditation? Burn more incense?

LOL

Try hitting a pillow you can repeat your mantra later!

[treefrogkate]

If it was just a drunken kiss, why would she have felt the need to send the picture to the guy? It's possible she didn't sleep with him, but there is definitely something fishy going on there.

 

Have you specifically asked her if she slept with him? If she has feelings for him? You should ask the questions you want answers to.

 

At least she volunteered the information that she sent him the picture, but I would expect some answers if I were in your shoes too.

[yeawutever]

Weird, if there was only kissing then why wouldn't she reveal the other pictures. It seems that there's something more to the story, she might not have slept with him, but maybe she did folla orund and done the other sexual things. If you still haven't confront her about the other pictures, do so now. I htink that's enough reason to dump her.

[Rabican]

Check please!

 

If this isn't suspicious I don't know what is. If he has been making out with her, tells her he loves her on the phone, and she came back from a trip with a raw vagina, well, that would be enough for me to leave that relationship pretty quick my friend.

 

you aint kidding bro. I couldnt have said it any better.

 

Now dont take this the wrong way, but if any of us were posing this, and you (the original poster) was responding to give us advice... cmon man, would you really need to question whats going on? I find it amazing (not in a disrespectful way... just like... wow) that when emotionally involved we just turn off our common sense and smarts and intuition etc. when it comes to this stuff.

[Mr. Brightside]

I find it amazing (not in a disrespectful way... just like... wow) that when emotionally involved we just turn off our common sense and smarts and intuition etc. when it comes to this stuff.

 

I am in that situation and it is amazing just thinking how I could be so blind for so long. Letting myself wallow in the deceit she provided. This should never be an issue in a relationship, because if you allow it to pass, the only way it can go is worse. Cheating is a way of displaying immaturity as an adult. She will continue to only tell you as much as needed to get you off her back so that she can keep her cake (you) and eat it too (him).

 

Trust me, it took plenty of rational people on here to show me that it was not going to work out after all...