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About treefrogkate

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  • Birthday 10/01/1977
  1. I don't think there's ever any excuse to cheat. If the relationship is failing or end it, then end it already! Then you can do whatever you'd like without cheating!
  2. "We" don't. Maybe certain people do, but as far as I'm concerned, me and the people I choose to hang out with would frown on anyone cheating on their significant other. Also, I personally think it's too dangerous to have "reckless" sex nowadays, and wouldn't think highly of someone from either sex doing it. But if someone is being careful and using protection, then it's none of my business who they are doing it with, and none of my concern whether they are a guy or a girl. People are way too judgemental in general. Everyone needs to chill out and let people do what they're going to do
  3. In the context of a relationship though, both partners would be equally wrong if they broke their agreement with the other person. I don't think it's any more ok for a guy to cheat than it is for a gal.
  4. I think you've nailed it (har har, pardon the pun), tiredofvampires. The act itself is not what is inherently "wrong"; it's the breaking of the agreement with your partner (if there is an agreement of monogamy in place).
  5. I'm sorry you feel like that. I'd venture to say that a lot of people are so enamored by the idea of being in love that they don't stop to think of whether they really are in love, and they get married too quickly or without enough thought behind it. I can honestly say that until I met my boyfriend, I'd never really been in love before, no matter what I thought or imagined. The feeling I have with my boyfriend is totally unlike anything I've ever felt before. I don't think love is rubbish... what is love other than a strong need for companionship, physical closeness, and a desire for the
  6. It would really depend on how she brought up her being bisexual and how he responded, and we don't know what transpired there. I can see if he was very enthusiastic about her being bisexual and said that he was ok with her being bisexual and didn't state "but I expect you not to have sex with girls", it could have come accross that he was ok with her sleeping with girls (I would have asked for clarification on that point, but then I'm me and not her). I agree that she should have clarified the boundaries instead of assuming it was ok, but from the way the OP said she told him really soon
  7. I'm sorry if I came off a little harsh. I just don't think it's possible to know from one person's side of the story that the girl has mental problems just because she baby talks and like girls. I can understand that there is usually a gender preference when one is bisexual, but she's with him, isn't she? If she says she's willing to give up being with girls, then that's that. She just needs to live up to that promise. I think the OP needs to decide whether he is ok with her being bisexual, and also if he can get over the fact that she (cheated? didn't understand the boundaries of t
  8. Enakmai, I don't know how you get to your "diagnosis" of her being a lesbian or bipolar, but I don't think it's very helpful to the OP. He already knows she is bisexual. Tears, if you haven't already, please sit down and talk with her about your expectations and her expectations of what is acceptable in your relationship. I am guessing, as I have from the beginning and other people have also stated, that you had not talked about this, and may still not have been direct about what you find ok and what is a dealbreaker. My boyfriend and I have an agreement that I can do whatever I'd like
  9. My first experiences weren't with girls, but recently a group of my female college friends and I have been getting very touchy-feely at parties, with boob/butt grabbing, kissing, licking each others' necks and cleavage, nibbling on each others' ears, etc. I would still consider myself straight, since I have a boyfriend (yes, he is not only aware of my actions with these women, he approves of it, especially if he gets to watch), but it's fun to experiment. Yukonhippie, I don't think it makes you gay to have had these experiences. Kids (and I guess adults too, lol) experiment, that's how th
  10. Amen. I don't even need lube when using toys. This is the reason I can't enjoy the wonders of going commando.
  11. I agree with flower99. It's not a question of giving up her bisexual nature, Tears. It's a question of giving up flirting with other people (regardless of gender) because it makes you uncomfortable. Your sexuality is part of your being. It's not something you can change. You're not going to wake up one day and say "I think I'll be gay now" any more than she's going to wake up and say "I think I won't like girls anymore". I don't think there's any chance she will become unattracted to girls, and you will need to come to terms with this. When she says she will give up her bisexuality,
  12. I'm glad you are working this out, and that you will work on your communication skills. I truly believe that open and honest communication needs to be the base on which the rest of a relationship is built. It's one thing to have lunch with an old flame with your spouse's knowledge and consent, and another thing entirely to hide it or conveniently "forget" to tell you about it. I'm glad he realized that he made a mistake. I'm also glad you realized that you were unreceptive to him expressing his feelings earlier, and am glad that you are working to change that.
  13. Hi Izra, I haven't read the replies (at work, not enough time!), so I apologize if it's been said. If you really want to be with your girlfriend and strengthen your relationship with her, the best way to act then is to not do or say anything behind your SO's back that you wouldn't do or say right in front of them. When you're tempted to chat with the girl, think of whether you would chat with her if your girlfriend were sitting next to you watching what you are typing. Would you call her honey or baby if your girlfriend was reading it? If you are at a party, would you kiss this
  14. It will be hard, but if you are going to save your friendship, you need to end it with the girl and cut all individual contact with her. Staying out of their lives completely for a bit may be what you need to do in order to give the girl space and a chance to clear her head.
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