THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[Coyote9]

Over 4 months now of NC, so why do I think about her so much all the time? Seems like any circumstance can trigger feelings of sadness or longing, but they don't last as long and my energy is certainly better so I'm getting a lot of stuff done. Still very concerned about possibly running into my ex at a work meeting next week. I will get through it but somehow knowing that it's likely makes me realize, from her point of view, how long ago the breakup was and how far she's moved on.

 

Not able to get any friends motivated to go out tonight so I stayed in. Weekends are so tough but I'm simply not ready or motivated to date. What's clear now is that all of this is about me and not about her at all. Other than as my story my illustrate or help others, I've quit writing about her here for the most part. That in itself is progress for me.

[cnfsdnluv]

UGH!!!! IT'S SO HARD! I'm technically on day 9, but we had a bit of a run-in a few days ago (just saw each other, didn't actually talk). So, I'm saying we're at day 3.

 

Figure NC and no seeing me is best...

 

andSO HARD

[starscollide]

NC for 6 months...most days are fine, some hurt like hell. Hearing certain songs seem to trigger bittersweet memories, and I had a really good cry the other night. Haven't checked facebook/myspace/asked about him to any of our mutual friends. Its still very hard knowing from earlier on before starting NC all the similarities his current gf and I have, as well as accepting if they make the 1 year mark, that will be longer than he & I were together (10 1/2 months). A minor setback was talking to other friends and hearing how great all of their relationships are going...being asked for advice, hearing about second chances and knowing...I didn't get one. Because for whatever reason, who I was didn't cut it for him.

 

One day at a time, I guess...

[tushboy]

I am in day 2, of my fourth attempt of NC. I woke up with his thoughts in my head. Last night I woke up sweating , it was a dream, he was in it. I guess I need time. Today I ll stay focussed on doing other things, its SUnday, I ll meet a friend after work.

[andy5128]

Hi All

 

Well my no contact continues.. been 3 months now..!

 

First month was tough so those of you in your first 30 days stick with it, it does get easier..

 

You have your off times even months down the road.. kinda had an off week this week.. agree with Starscollide here a bit that hearing that others are having a good relationship has been getting to me a bit.. especially knowing of these 2 relationships I hear about they got a second chance to make it work too and I didn't!! Never mind eh!

 

On the plus side I have met some nice new people along the way, I would say just not met the right one yet.. I would say this week that has been getting me down a bit too feeling like am I ever going to meet someone I really want to be with..

 

Well of course I will, it's just a matter of time.. So anyway.. stick with it everyone.. I know how you feel and with you on your journey..

 

Andy

[Enn]

Day 39 - I don't know what went right but yesterday I just wasn't really bothered. And it's stayed with me til this morning!

 

I'm sort of daring myself to be really upset again...and part of me is probably not that bothered because deep down I think he's going to come back at some point (though I dumped him this time but for good reasons).

 

But so far so good! Keep going everyone!

[mmisty2001]

Day 1 for me today. I didn't know anything about the challenge before and think it's a good idea. Not sure if it is really for me in this section though as I have no intention of getting back with him, just need the challenge of NC. Need some willpower !!!!

[nightw0lf]

26th of July 2007 for me..NC at all so far, going strong.

[Benjyh]

day blah blah not sure anymore, i guess thats a good thing!

 

well onwards for me i plough trough the days, it is getting easier, but i still miss parts of her! its hard making new friends at 22, seems to be something you do when ure younger maybe i just need to make more of an effort

but cinema tonight with friends tonight, which will be good!

 

gj all btw you can keep it up!

[surfjon]

I guess it's day 16 or so of N/C with a woman I lived with and said "good morning" and "good night baby-doll" to for 19 years. Going from daily interaction to N/C has been the most brutal thing I've ever been through.

 

To know the woman you've loved you entire life does not want to see or talk to you is like some weird movie, some real nightmare I'm stuck in. But's all too real.

 

The meds started to work better, sometimes I feel like I'm inside a blown up ball, things sorta bounce off me at times, but other times I break-down, crushed, like a skull in a vacuum imploded. I like the inflatable ball times, it's a very vacant feeling, but better than the agony.

Maybe it will be ball-like all the time soon.

[mmisty2001]

Going from daily interaction to NC is the hardest thing of all. You are doing really well. Hope I can follow your good example.

[JeckyllNHyde]

Day 29 of NC...

 

Miss him like hell. Now that school finally started I thought I would be busy with that and completely focussed. But for some reason which I can't explain...

 

Ok maybe it's b/c I see happy couples at school, or couples who are so disfunctional yet manage to stay together. It just makes me suddenly want to have someone to share myself with like I used to a few weeks ago. And normally even when I'm lonely or down I never feel this way in the presense of other couples or hearing about a friend in a relationship. I am usually happy and think: "awww... sweet... can't wait to find my special someone." Now I just feel sad.

But don't want just anyone to "share myself with and love", once again... in my mind, at this point only HE will do. So I will just stay alone and not date some more until these feelings hopefully pass.

Lost motivation to go to the gym, but tomorrow I will drag my butt back there after a whole week. Just feel so empty at the moment Kinda like you want to cry yet you can't. Look forward to the days when I am indifferent about the whole situation CONSTANTLY. Cause I hate these up and down low days.

On top of it, for all I know maybe he doesn't think of me at all

[Muzatsu]

Day 10,

 

Have had to try to control myself more with the myspace/facebook addiction.

Continuing to learn to play piano and guitar, and doing other pleasurable things for myself. Starting to see the good and the bad side of the relationship. Weighing them against each other.

[starscollide]

Hey Andy...guess we're in the same boat lol

 

Its been 6 months for me...so hopefully, 3 months from now you'll be doing even better =) Hopefully in 3 months from now...so will I lol...In my situation, thats exactly what I'm dealing with: the people talking about how great things are and have been (not even a honeymoon phase, the ones that have been back together for quite some time) are people who got a second chance. Then, tonight one of my closest friends came over to introduce me to her new bf who is making her so happy that I'm happy, but its hard to not want that for yourself, as well.

 

I was told I'm "too restricting" on dating a guy, but I'm not. I want a guy who doesn't smoke (I'm asthmatic) doesn't drink excessively (the last guy I attempted to date after my relationship was close to alcoholic status. I drove home on the 2nd date b/c he was too drunk to drive and was always drinking whenever we'd talk..). I just know what I want, what I will and won't stand for, and I'd rather not just date someone who's there, I'd rather have an actual attraction/interest in them. I've been missing the ex a lot lately, and knowing he's been with his gf for 8 months is honestly tearing me apart, but I haven't contacted him and I'm trying so hard to remain strong.

[Bryon]

Well, NC was going good until friday, just a bit over a month. She called and asked how I was doing, telling me she appreciated all that I did, and a bit of chit chat. Ruined my friday night. Not that I was mad, but bummed out a bit. So now back to day 4.

[Tshwane]

tushboy those are valuable lessons, try to stop counting the "NC"

days, that might help take off the pressure.

[msoul8]

This is exactly what I need. I was contemplating an email to HIM..was even in the middle of writing it when I did some searching and found this post. I've tried this before. It was really hard especially with myspace stuff where things are out in the open. What is worse is that he has this online relationship with another girl and I can see their comments or posts back and forth to each other.

 

Our split was more for time apart to see if we are meant to be together, which I swear feels worse than a real breakup because at least it is a definite thing. My heart is hanging.

 

Anways...

 

I feel better knowing other people are struggling with this too. Cuz sometimes I feel like this and this and this

[msoul8]

His "myspace" site. I'm addicted to it. Why? All I see is the comments back and forth between this girl. She doesn't even live in the same country. It hurts everytime, but I keep coming back. It's like I need to know what's going on even though it hurts. I don't want to miss anything. ](*,)

[mmisty2001]

It is STILL only day 2, what a long day it's been !!!!

I was in a better frame of mind this morning but by the afternoon I was ready to call him. I spoke to a few people on here who have been a great help to me and then I took myself to the gym. I came back feeling great that I hadn't contacted him. I know I will go through these same feelings for a while but I also know how good the feeling is when there is NC. I feel like a better person for it and must say I amaze myself that I can do it. It's been 5 weeks since we split and I didn't have the strength before.

[msoul8]

Well, the car never even came out of the garage. I guess Day 1 will have to start tomorrow. I feel pretty pathetic and bad about it. At least I have somewhere to vent now.

 

I didn't send any emails...I've learned that always ends up bad. I don't have to worry about the phone...I would never call him, never have...except once when I was in despair. I don't worry about those things.

 

I need advice on the easiest and most addictive type of contact...checking profiles!! Help!! That's what I have been doing. It is just like any another other drug/food or alcohol addiction.

[starscollide]

Its been over 6 months of NC...and he IMed me earlier out of nowhere. Blocking has never been an issue, I don't hate the guy but I haven't been online and when I have, I never receive IMs from unknown senders. This came in as an unknown and he opened with " an emoticon. He's still with his gf, and we talked for an hour. He asked how I was, we talked about general topics such as work and the latest CDs we've each bought...Perhaps LC is beginning?? Is that wise????? Mind you...this is my first love...I didn't even think I'd ever hear from him again...

[JeckyllNHyde]

Day 31 of NC...

 

WOOT!

Made it, and off course am going to stick to it. Mainly b/c I wouldn't really know what to say or how anything I say would be received. I do however have a few scenario's in my head, and they aren't too pleasant, so no need to turn the responses I imagined into actual facts

I went back to the gym, and am loving being back at uni. Am slowly getting my life into order and better then it has ever been (waking up early, attending classes & paying attention instead of skipping them as I have done for years, pushing myself to stop eating excess junkfood and going to the gym. I have always been a slacker, taking it easy everywhere I can).

 

After reading threads I am also working on it to "stamp" it in my head that he probably isn't coming back (so that this NC will truly "heal" me).

[Benjyh]

day 28 i think so maybe 2 days to go but im gonna continue on and extend my NC for who knows how long, well ive made no attempts to contact het, and she has made no attempts also to contact me, which to be honest makes me a little bit sad in a strange way.

 

but life continues and it all becomes a little easier as time passes, still with ups and down but thats life

 

for anyone finding themselves being taunted or hurt my facebook/myspace then try taking bubblyblondes challenge!

 

 

 

GL To all

[andy5128]

Well I know exactly how you feel hun.. You are not restricting been so clear as to what you want. Just being honest with yourself and thats a good thing.. Keep going and with you all the way...

 

Andy

[MsBear]

Let me join the Camp again, something is hurting me right now

 

I didn't send anything on his B'day as everyone else told me so, but I'm a bit clueless about this moment

 

I feel sad, just sad, so let me take the challenge again

 

30 days from now on

 

24/8 ...Day 1