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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

SuperDave71

By SuperDave71
in Getting Back Together

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JeckyllNHyde Enthusiast

JeckyllNHyde

Posted
Posted

day "i dont know" of NC...

 

well, as you can see i stopped counting the days as i am losing track. i finally realised today that it is hurting alot less. i am slowly starting to get thru the days without yearning that maybe he will call me. i deleted him from my MSN but didnt block him. it is still ste forward for me, since he blocked me right away and i was waiting for him to unblock *sigh*

 

what has also helped me move in the right direction is that after attempting to lose some pounds for yearsss (and always failing due to lack of motivation/quiting/not enough knowledge/giving into temptation) i never managed to lose any weight when i really put in effort, and during the last 2 weeks, i lost 4 lbs!! for me this is a big whoop! since i only need to lose 10 more i think now...

 

so another lesson for NC i learnt: aside from keeping busy it helps alot to set goals you want to achieve, and really focus on it and learn as much as you can about it to get ahead. if you have friends working towards the same goal it helps even more. you can swap tips, or just talk alot about it and tell each other about your progress, etc. it can be anything from fitness, to insruments, or cooking, etc etc...

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JiSer Newbie

JiSer

Posted
Posted

Hmf I been NC since late july. Since coming back from my holidays I had an overwhelming desire to speak to my ex. Maybe its just the after holiday blues and the upcoming stress of a new job as an I.T. Tech + the final year of UNI.

 

Sometimes life is all to much

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husk Contributor

husk

Posted
Posted

well m y birthday was saturday so on friday morning i got up she had sent me an email saying she thought she could be the first to wish me happybirthday and hope she didnt wake me. Now she was a day early so alter on friday she realized she messed up and sendt me som more text explaining i did respond back in a fun way , so i get up sat urday morning and she had sent me another happy birthday and then later on in the day she sent me one more being real friendly. I was flattered she was thinking of me so much on jsut my birthday. And saturday nigh she didnt think i was on yahoo and she was typing message i said hi and we talked about ten minutes she was very friendly, saying things that made ya think why? but im not expecting anything i told myself she just was being nice and i do appeciate it but im sure i wont hear from her for along time so anyway the no contact did help me get ovber this and it did bother me some made me think more about her but im doing great just dont talk to them and focus on someone else or other things and it gets better. Still dont know why they contact you after 2 months of really no contact i guess the birthday triggers thier brain to say something lol.

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Coyote9 Contributor

Coyote9

Posted
Posted

Checking in here on significant days now....5 months since I've seen her and over 6 weeks since I left a phone message about a death in her family and received a 10 word text in reply to my message.

 

Life without her still seems pretty empty...but I've come a long ways and have no problem maintaining not only NC but doing the things that protect me from even seeing her or finding out about current information about her. My health is back to 100% and I do feel like I have a better time sleeping and have gained back the weight I lost in those initial weeks.

 

 

There's still very much a hole in my heart however, and while it's healed substantially I do think about her a lot and miss so much about her and about us. Each day that fades from view a bit more. NC works, but it's no quick fix, that's for certain.

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dqueen Contributor

dqueen

Posted
Posted

I was on Day 11 of NC and doing really really well. The effects of the breakup were beginning to slowly wear off. Then, I decided it would be very wise of me to break NC and contact the ex hoping for a reconciliation. Hahaha yeah right! The jerk never responded back to my email. Shame on me.

 

Back to Day 1 of NC again. Must resist the urge to contact...:splat:

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Pending Contributor

Pending

Posted
Posted

What can I say guys, I think a little update is in order.

 

Outside of one minor facebook look slip up(one quick look hit me hard for a hour), I really have taken great strides in moving past my ex. Havint msg her for over 5 months(she only sent me a few text's so its was easy), have no real items of hers besides a few gifts she bought me throughout our relationship, I have nothing to remind me of her.

 

I actually saw her new bf(the guys who she cheated on me with) many times at bars, and caught a very quick look at her(no eye contact) while at a bar the other night-and you know what? It had very little impact on me.

 

There are some things which are dangerous to my contact though. Firstly, since I was still on pretty friendly basis with alot of her housmates(living in a small rez) I have no qualms about catching up with them(even her closer friends which I never had issue with). Part of the reason for this because I don't feel like isolating myself from people I get along with, just because they mark a connection to the ex. Secondly-well I just feel like i'm better look& in better shape then ever before.. Still I know i'm playing a dangerous game but really, I see it as her not having control over my life any longer.

 

Another downside is that meet anthor amazing girl who seems to be highly attracted to me(well..we knew each other all summer and slept together first night I was back in town). Again, there are a few downsides to this-firstly the whole relationship is kinda in a drama situation(long story), and she somewhat reminds me of the ex. Now I'm just putting this second part off as just that kind of girl being my type/.. I already accepted that this little fling might not turn into more because of this and really i'm looking elsewhere just incase.

 

Anyway long story short, is everything in my life completely golden? No. But between LC with the ex(facebook visits.. ), and feeling pretty damn good about myself I think i'm pretty much moved on.

 

The biggest concern I have is that I still put far too much of my happiness based on whether I have a girl in my life, and having this new girl there to distract me is pretty much a cruch for facing the ex and her bf after all this time...

 

Keep at it guys,

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hopeless66 Collaborator

hopeless66

Posted
Posted

I am going on 8 days NC. She called drunk 8 days ago to let me know she missed me and still loved me and wanted to hear my voice. That our break up wasn't easy on her and she has been listening to "our" songs and reading my letters.

Doin fine with the NC thing...Don't have the urge to call....Just a little bugged that she hasn't tried to call me again...

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Delia22 Apprentice

Delia22

Posted
Posted

Day 22 for me. I haven't cried in 2 whole days -- which is quite the accomplishement YAY! I started thinking about him last night, though. It actually made me mad that he hasn't tried to contact me at all. Like, am I that easy to forget?!?!?! But then I thought, "Do I really want to talk to him?" NO WAY! He's not dragging me down again after all this progress I made... although I do crave the sound of his voice sometimes

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milesaway Apprentice

milesaway

Posted
Posted

I know what you mean Delia. I am at day 19 today. Although, everytime my phone rings I always hope it may be her. I would love to hear her voice as well. Although, my relationship was a LDR we spoke every single day sometimes for hours. We also saw each other quite a bit for a LDR. I know she is dating someone now so it makes it easier for me not to call. I would never want to screw with her happiness. Sometimes I just get frustrated because she still has some of my belongings and still owes me quite a bit of money. I would think she would at least send an e mail or even a text to let me know she has not forgotten about the money she owes me. The ironic thing is when i leant her the money I did not expect it back because I thought she would be the one I would spend the rest of my life with. I thought I had found the perfect woman...I guess she had not found the perfect man.

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Delia22 Apprentice

Delia22

Posted
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Milesaway, DO NOT even question whether you were the "perfect man"! Bottom line is that she wasn't the right one for YOU. You love her, of course... but that doesn't mean that she was the right one for you. Also, there's no such thing as "perfection" in any human being... that's why relationships take WORK!

 

Also, my ex and I were doing the LDR thing too. He came in every weekend, but during the week it was purely a phone relationship. So I too got used to the routine of tons of phone calls and text messages throughout the day. Honestly, without him calling, my phone barely rings anymore... and that makes me feel pathetic and lonely.

 

So while this NC thing is hard as heck, I'm noticing that I'm getting a little stronger every week... and that motivates me to keep going! Hang in there! And maybe you shouldn't start contacting her for you money until you're sure you can contact her without feeling that dreadful sinking feeling in your heart.

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audrey28 Enthusiast

audrey28

Posted
Posted

i feel somewhat ashamed of being back here again. the first time i found this forum, i did NC for like a month....then the bf and i got back together. things were better in some ways but the fundamental problems were still there. now we have broken up again....NC for a few weeks and then back to talking to each other regularly. i think i am still in denial...a part of me still wants us to get back together but i am realizing things about myself...my co-dependent behaviors, the pattern in this relationship and my family background...and i just don't want to set myself up for failure anymore.

 

with that said, i recommit myself to NC. i hope to have the strength to follow through, to conquer my fears, to just feel the pain when it creeps up, and to heal the damages that were done. it's not going to be easy but i must let go.

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hopeless66 Collaborator

hopeless66

Posted
Posted

Day 10 and she called today... I didn't answer and she left a messege saying, "Hey its me, I had a couple questions to ask you and I wanted to see how you are doing. Call me back when you get this, I had a couple questions for you. This is my new number. Talk to you soon... Bye.."

I don't call back right?

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TijuanaJones Enthusiast

TijuanaJones

Posted
Posted
Day 10 and she called today... I didn't answer and she left a messege saying, "Hey its me, I had a couple questions to ask you and I wanted to see how you are doing. Call me back when you get this, I had a couple questions for you. This is my new number. Talk to you soon... Bye.."

I don't call back right?

 

Don't call! It's a trap! she wants to know if she still has you wrapped around her finger!

 

Breaking NC is being back at square one. Don't think about what she'll feel if you don't call or answer her calls and messages. Do it for yourself. When she broke up with you she did it with her feelings in mind, so why would you care about what she feels right now?

 

Stay strong!

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Dazla Contributor

Dazla

Posted
Posted

Yea the only thing I would do if my ex contacted me would be direct words like "I miss you" or "Do you want to get a drink or go out sometime". Other then that let it drive her crazy that she cant get into contact with you...Drive her crazy and her true intentions will come out. Love is a burning desire. If shes messed up she will keep TRYING AND TRYING. If its about her ego she will give up after a bit.

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