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audrey28

Bronze Member
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audrey28 last won the day on June 7 2008

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About audrey28

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  1. It’s been up and down. And there are days I oversleep and don’t feel like getting out of bed. There are times when I am able to feel joy and gratitude. It feels surreal that I’ve blocked him and he’s really out of my life. Still missing him. Still anxious. Still feeling heartbroken. Just taking it day by day.
  2. Thought this is funny: Don’t cry bec it’s over, smile bec it happened and he didn’t get you pregnant. On second thought, though, you’d probably kind of like that to happen on some level.
  3. I’m having a difficult time with the withdrawal. I feel so restless. I am still emotionally holding on to the good memories of the past. I have an urge to check what he’s doing (that’s why I deleted my FB app). Even though the relationship was short, the withdrawal is still hard. Just sharing it here for emotional release.
  4. You’re right. A friendship is not a good idea. I think I’m just making excuses not to let go of attachment completely, but I have to for my own sake.
  5. Thank you for this. At my age (40), I wonder if I’m still going to meet a match for me. But in any case I have to live for me.
  6. Update. Against most advice, I did reach out. I’m lucky bec it did end up giving the closure that I need. The reason he ignored my last message was bec my question (about work) was currently a touchy subject for him, and he felt he needed space to not answer to anyone, especially me. He acknowledged that what we had was a genuine connection. Many things worked for us, but his desire to have a child is a dream he has, and if we were to force this relationship, one of us would have to have a dream die. I feel like I’m ready to truly move on as it’s clear that there is no more next ste
  7. There is a book I read a while back that may hit home for you: Women Who Love Too Much. You can get through this, Summer! Think of this as dodging a bullet in the long run. Your future is bright even if getting there feels difficult right now. You deserve better than this.
  8. I know, I know. It’s painful and we feel restless and anxious and when we’re out, we can’t wait to go home and cry. And when we’re home alone and crying, we don’t know what to do with ourselves. Breakups suck big time. BUT...are there unexpected perks? Some good that came out of it? In my case, I’ve been losing a bit of weight and I feel like I’m looking pretty good. Not my preferred choice of weight loss but my belly is become flatter and flatter as I don’t crave food so much. I eat enough calories, don’t worry. But just enough, I think,
  9. I’m sad and I miss you. It was good while it lasted, wasn’t it?
  10. What I meant was that my fear of abandonment drives me to read more into the not-really there relationships. Though not literally abandoned in this case, my fear of abandonment (inability to do a clean break) is prolonging my own misery. I just bought a bunch of kindle books on love addiction/inner child healing etc. I am determined for this relationship not to go to waste. I am going to use it to learn more about myself so I can come out of this emotionally healthier.
  11. I feel your pain. I think it’s best to bring the attention back to YOU. No more wasting time on him. He acted in a way that wasn’t deserving of your love and attention, and I hope you can see that. Even if he showed up at this moment and profusely apologized, you’ve got to think: Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who has a pattern of doing this to you? It’s time to cut your losses. I’m glad you are starting therapy— this is the kind of care you deserve to give yourself. Sending you thoughts of healing. It’s very difficult now but you will get through this!!!
  12. That’s true. After November should have been a clean break. I got confused by what it was that we had after and I hung on to it. Sometimes I feel like as a single person I’m really good at being happy by myself. But the moment I get into a relationship, my codependent tendencies come out and I latch on to that attention/validation. Years ago, a relationship with an alcoholic was what shed light to my codependency. It was a high-strung dramatic abusive relationship. I did a lot of work then. The next relationship I got into appeared a lot better, until I realized he was emotionally unava
  13. Thank you. Trying and trying. The first time I joined this forum was from maybe 10 years ago, when I was in a relationship with an alcoholic. Since then I’ve done a lot of self-reflection. So while I am nowhere near perfect, my lows are not as low. And each relationship that I get into teaches me more about my issues that need to be resolved. I notice that I still tend to be drawn to unavailable men. But I don’t drag it as long now, and im able to see the red flags earlier than later. It’s always easier to have objectivity when you’re looking at someone else’s situation huh. :)
  14. The way I see it, she was flirting with you to feel validated. Sad as it is, for many of us, we engage in flirting and even relationships bec we want to feel good about ourselves, instead of truly appreciating the other person. I think it’s best to cut off ties. You focus on you. And when the time is right, invest your time in someone who’s interested in YOU and not what emotional validation they can get out of you.
  15. In any failed relationship, we have two options: 1) blame the other person and/or ourselves 2) take stock of our role in it. Each relationship reflects back to us our fears, our (often unmet) needs, our projections etc. What is it about ourselves that we need to confront? We need to do this and be kind to ourselves. Don’t beat yourself up. Use this as the rock bottom that you need to have the best life you can have for yourself. Agree with earlier posts about looking into codependency. Love addiction/drama addiction is so normalized we often don’t see it as the dysfunction that it is.
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