THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[SuperDave71]

You are most welcome Pink...

 

 

 

 

 

Just take it day by day!

 

 

 

-SuperDave71

[drum4god]

drum4god,

 

You be you that's what. You be as polite and genuine to her as you would anyone. No special treatment and NO NEED to ignore her. Smile at her if ya want. WHy? Because not only are yo a man of God...but becase..

 

THIS TOO WILL PASS..

 

 

I have faith in you..

 

 

 

SuperDave71

 

SuperDave,

 

Thanks so much. I appreciate the encouragement. I really need it. Today is a rough one. I can't stop thinking of her, and its driving me crazy. I am trying, but its very hard.

 

Thanks again SD. God Bless!

[SuperDave71]

drum4god,

 

 

Lisen to the song "unanswerd Prayers" by Garth Brooks.

 

 

This will help ya....

 

it helped me years ago...

 

 

 

 

SuperDave71

[AmIAlone1607307516]

Ok I'm in. I brown down Saturday and emailed her. So I'll start a new count today. DAY 1

[needingadvice]

im finding it so hard at the minute. been having problems with my laptop, so went onto the other computer so i could log onto here. that computer automatically loggs me into MSN when i sign onto the internet. the ex was online and as soon as i signed on he disappeared. i know i would have had the strength thanks to this challenge not to contact him, but i almost feel rejected by the fact he signed out - so stupid i know but that DID make me want to contact him. i havent though, but im really struggling today

[honeyspur]

Keep it up - there is a way to fix your computer to not log MSN automatically - although I'm not sure how - try and do what you can to set the triggers off-it is best to start changing what you can.

[SuperDave71]

Needingadvice,

 

Don't base your exsistance on your ex or a darn messaging service.

 

 

You need to focus on you and what you feel needs to happen to heal yourself. That is what this challenge is for....

 

 

you can do it...

 

 

 

--SuperDave71

[LLammas]

I'm a little late coming to the thread, but I'm in for 30 days of NC. Day 1 starts now.

[SuperDave71]

Good Luck Llammas....

 

You can do it!!

 

 

Remember the rules!!

 

 

 

-SuperDave71

[needingadvice]

thanks superdave and honeyspur. i think in truth this has all knocked my self-esteem quite a bit and everything has piled-up, im nervous about starting my new job tomorrow and i think that has also contributed to me finding today more difficult. somewhere in my head though things are changing, as normally when i feel like this i would not care- i would just want to talk to him/see how he's been / does he miss me..etc. This time, i know that knowing any of those things will NOT help me, but in fact make me feel worse and like im back to square 1 in this whole process. i know having contact will bring me absolutely nothing - i do know this this time and ive never had this resolve before, no matter how difficult it is

[Parsley]

Hello

Right, well I joined this yesterday, but this would be the 10th day. I've just realised I must not have counted properly yesterday.

 

Anyway...

 

Last night was ridiculously difficult. I hadn't been tempted to contact him like that for a few days. I was sitting downstairs with my parents and found myself thinking about him, and how I just wanted to stop him popping into my head. I came upstairs and decided to write him an email giving him my address so that he could post me my things back so I wouldn't have to see him. I don't think I could keep my temper if I did see him - he let me down and hurt me so very much. But before I sent it I noticed the banner above the email was for the bank he worked for...one I'd never heard of before I met him, and had never seen advertised until that very moment. I don't know why, but it made me just stop and think "There's no need to make this a mess. You're still hurting, making him hurt too won't make you feel better. You need to give yourself time to forgive him". Then I broke down in tears and sobbed for about 30 minutes. I hadn't been that bad for awhile - the sobs were shaking my body so badly I thought I was going to vomit.

 

I posted what I was going to send him on one of the forums on here, and then promptly realised it was just a rant, proof being my tear stained face and overwhelming need to be held.

 

I feel better today. Still feeling like all I want in the world is to have someone who is *in love* with me. I know I have family and friends who love me...but it's just different isn't it? I want there to be someone I can go to again, and just lie in their arms and not have to worry about us. But no matter how strong that urge is, I am NOT going to go and find someone. It wouldn't be fair to me or them - I just have to stick this out. It will get better.

[kickedin]

still going....it hurts i miss her

 

is sending a card bad?

[SuperDave71]

YES!!!..

 

NO CONTACT IS NO CONTACT WHATSOEVER!

 

 

 

-SuperDave71

[Shaker]

Day 2 of No Contact.

 

I received an email from my ex, but haven't responded. I was surprised he wrote to me.

 

I'm overwhelmed with grief, but I know that getting in touch with him won't make me feel better today. It helps that he's out of town tonight, and is travelling a lot this month.

 

It also helps that I moved to a different neighborhood, but my new place doesn't feel like home.

 

Holding each other on the weekend? That felt like home.

[SuperDave71]

Shaker,

 

I know it's tough but you MUST go thru it....

 

I am sorry you are feeling down...post all ya want. We are here if you need us ok?

 

 

 

-SuperDave71

[pilip99]

dave thanks for the encouragement man hangin in there!

[SuperDave71]

I posted a new rule.....

 

 

Make sure you read it!

 

 

 

-SuperDave71

[nikki blu]

He stood me up Friday...I've been wanting to call him and curse him out all weekend! Totally confused me...he sounded all excited to go out I know.... he warned wasn't ready for anything serious with me, but that's just plain disrespectful!

[rsxguy520]

first of all i would like to say Wussup to Superdave!

 

Day-4

 

the ex's birthday.... woke up in the morning feeling kind of weird..almost like a guilty feeling that i didn't call to wish her a happy birthday. then it started to bug me a whole lot during breakfast. but i didn't let it get to me..so i went to the gym to work out which helped a lot got me distracted from it. Went home and started to clean out my closet..first thing i encountered was the box's full of the ex's stuff she gave me. surprisingly i didn't feel sad. i felt like i needed to get the stuff out of my room to make more room for my sneaker's (big sneaker collector) ..went into the garage to find one of those big heavy duty box and box everything the ex gave me. i never realize how much crap i have of hers..oh well.it was sooooo much relieving. i actually laughed out loud..i was so happy for some odd reason. and the greatest part was i placed it deep above my garage space burried between box's and box's of junk. for me to forget about it. all tagged with ex-girlfriend bull****..then as soon as i went back to my room, i had the biggest smile in a long time. no more ex's bull and make room for my sneaker box's and all my other crap...i feel like my room is a virgin again. so nice. so pleasant. hopefully i did the right thing superdave. i mean NC is one thing, but little reminders and what not is another thing. i just want to continue moving forward.

 

i'll prolly update this later on tonight.

[SuperDave71]

rsxguy520,

 

 

Waazzzzzzzzup!! Right back at ya from Tennessee!!

 

Everyone deals with NC differently. I created this challenge in hope that others can help each other and read how others deal with THEIR NC. I am sooooooooooo glad to hear you had a smile on your face. It's nice to hear someone actually smile despite all the feelings going on inside.

 

i commend you on your progress...Just remember to keep it up and move forward!! You doing great!!

 

 

Cheers!!

 

 

 

SuperDave71

[KoopaTroopa]

Day 11 of NC, day 4 of challenge.

 

I actually woke up feeling pretty good today! This is the first time since initiating NC that I didn't wake up feeling massively depressed, so I'm hoping this keeps up.

 

I learned how to play cribbage and gin rummy last night. Got my butt stomped pretty good at the former, but did fairly well at the latter. I also made cookies with some friends, which were decidedly NOT diet friendly, but they tasted good so who cares. (Er...the cookies that is, not the friends. XP)

 

And philip - suggestion noted and very much appreciated! I'll hopefully be at Best Buy sometime this weekend.

[Parsley]

Agh, nights have become so hard to deal with!

 

I just keep remembering how we used to talk online until 2am, just to be talking to each other, and even when he finally went to bed, he'd end up texting me for an hour or so anyway, wanting me to send him a pic of my smile for him to go to sleep to.

 

And now...my phone is on the table next to me, I barely have to use it since we broke up.

 

Once upon a time I'd half expect a call every friday night, around 4am when he'd gone out, got drunk, and rung me to tell me he loved me and missed me, and if I turned my phone off, the next morning I'd have a voicemail asking indignantly why I'd turned it off, how was he supposed to let me know how much he loved me if my phone was off?

 

Now I'll never have that again...and the temptation to text him to say that I miss him is so overwhelming I don't know what to do.

[Lady Bugg]

Hi guys!!!!!

 

Day 6........Day 4 the challenge

 

I'm hanging in there. I have been working my hiney off...so that helps.

I have a day off tomorrow..wooohoooo...gonna get my nails done, and do some fun stuff outside. The weather is gonna be gorgeous here!!!

 

Hope everyone is doing well !!!

[KoopaTroopa]

Parsley - ugh, I hear you!

 

When my ex and I were still together, she'd send me drunken texts sometimes just to tell me she loved me, and we'd goof around on AIM at all hours of the night, making fun of online fandoms, trading pics, and just having fun. I remember when she'd tell me she was going to go out drinking with friends, I'd wonder what kind of crazy text I was going to end up getting - sweet, goofy, or just plain incoherent. It slowly happened less and less toward the end of the relationship, but geez the temptation to text or IM is SO hard to overcome! You got any friends you can send texts to instead? I ended up doing that at one point after my ex and I broke up - started a prank-text war with a really good friend. It was lots of fun and took my mind off my ex.

[Parsley]

It's horrible isn't it? It slowly disappeared with us too. We were 3 hours away from each other for a couple of months, at first he'd always answer his phone straight away, and berate me for not calling more often. Then it got less. Then came the time he didnt answer either his mobile or landline for a week and my flatmates had to stop me destroying an iron in my (admittedly drunken) hysterical state.

 

I'm trying to let my friends get some sleep to be honest! I've called them and text them at stupid times of the night a lot since things started getting crap - once even convinced my best friend to come and pick me up and drop me at his at 2:30am Not one of my best ideas. No, I'm using this site to take my mind off it, as well as two pints of lager and a packet of crisps. (the show...not two actual pints and some crisps)