THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[ladyjp]

text me today after my 2 days of NC saying " you must have gotten lucky haven't heard from you. I did after several hours today text him back and just say what you said " just been busy"then added "plus I am just not interested in being just friends while you are seeing another woman.That just won't work for me.

He text me back and said he had been real sick and wanted to know "who is he? "

I text him and said I just am not gonna be on the back burner. Hope you feel better.

He then said" what's he like ? you are easy to read I know theres someone".I text him one last time and said nothing in regards to his implication but simply

"when you are ready to be exclusive again and if I am available let me know. I won't share. Hope you feel better". He did not respond which I expected.

Should I have not said this? But I wanted him to understand why he will not get NC so he can understand what he has to think about

[rayah]

ughhh so i broke NC...he called and texted me twice...i just felt so bad...so i called him back, heres the convo:

 

him: how r u

me: fine

him: why have u been ignoring me

me: b/c i need space

him: y didnt u tell me

me: i did

him: okay lorayah bye

me: bye

 

now he's mad at me and won't ever wanna tlk 2 me...this sucks, i think its childish 2 do this stupid NC thing.

[ladyjp]

ughhh so i broke NC...he called and texted me twice...i just felt so bad...so i called him back, heres the convo:

 

him: how r u

me: fine

him: why have u been ignoring me

me: b/c i need space

him: y didnt u tell me

me: i did

him: okay lorayah bye

me: bye

 

now he's mad at me and won't ever wanna tlk 2 me...this sucks, i think its childish 2 do this stupid NC thing.

He WILL talk to you again. NC is different for everyone. It doesn't have to mean you never talk but just don't keep talking when you are clearly at am impass. He will call or text after a couple days when he sees you aren't calling him. Then maybe you can talk again and you can say what is on your mind. Just NC long enough for him to know he has to do "something"!

[parlae]

ughhh so i broke NC...he called and texted me twice...i just felt so bad...so i called him back, heres the convo:

 

him: how r u

me: fine

him: why have u been ignoring me

me: b/c i need space

him: y didnt u tell me

me: i did

him: okay lorayah bye

me: bye

 

now he's mad at me and won't ever wanna tlk 2 me...this sucks, i think its childish 2 do this stupid NC thing.

from that 'conversation', how could you get that? (that he's mad and never wants to talk to you again)

all he said was ok.

 

and why do you think NC is childish? it really helps. the first few days are just very hard.

you can do it though! be strong.

[mgirl]

I'm actually starting to think you're better off not contacting even if their emotionally blackmailing you, because you give up your power.

[Sunkist09]

DO not tell your ex you're going into no contact.

 

As far as telling my ex I had someone new, I really did. At that point, it was just letting him know because I could move on or not.. i was neutral. I wouldn't lie to get an ex jealous, bc it could backfire.

[arghgirl]

Day 2.

 

Feeling much better after going to his place unannounced. Have closure but want to continue this as every day is new, and who knows what I will feel.

 

Our timing was just wrong for both of us. So, maybe in six months, I will reach out but not now.

[JohnGalt]

difficult. I feel like I'm dying. I feel like I don't have much time left. I'm not suicidal and I'm in perfect health, but I still feel as if I'm dying. Headaches and stomaches caused by the stress...I just sit and close my eyes thinking it is the last shut eye...but I always wake up. It hurts.

 

I gotta realize that this is all in my mind. In my mind.

[TLguy]

Im gonna do this again. The only reason being I dont like failing a challenge. I dont hurt anymore...so hopefully I can do it this time

[brazilgirl21]

All I can say is that NC is the best thing to do. At least I feel like I'm not going to be humiliating myself. I feel a little jealous that your exes contact you. I don't think my ex will ever contact me again. Maybe on my birthday in 2 months, if that. I know it's the best for me. I just keep thinking of how I always feel more powerful when I'm in NC, and how defeated and awful I feel when I break it!! Don't break NC.

 

Day 4 tomorrow and I know I'm going to pass 10 this time!!!! Be strong guys!

[mgirl]

difficult. I feel like I'm dying. I feel like I don't have much time left. I'm not suicidal and I'm in perfect health, but I still feel as if I'm dying. Headaches and stomaches caused by the stress...I just sit and close my eyes thinking it is the last shut eye...but I always wake up. It hurts.

 

I gotta realize that this is all in my mind. In my mind.

 

I'm hearing you. I took some natural sleeping pills last night, as i figured my brain would be able to think better after some sleep. You should try to go out tonight, or do something to keep yourself occupied. Or, post here I've had headaches and body aches too.

[mgirl]

All I can say is that NC is the best thing to do. At least I feel like I'm not going to be humiliating myself. I feel a little jealous that your exes contact you. I don't think my ex will ever contact me again. Maybe on my birthday in 2 months, if that. I know it's the best for me. I just keep thinking of how I always feel more powerful when I'm in NC, and how defeated and awful I feel when I break it!! Don't break NC.

 

Day 4 tomorrow and I know I'm going to pass 10 this time!!!! Be strong guys!

 

Yeah, i'm gonna have to give this a go. Or, at least not be so fast to respond to her messages, as it is all run on drama. To be honest, i am still getting off on the drama a bit, and i know it's not healthy. I have just about lost all my dignity. She has over-stepped most of my boundaries and i have let her. I don't like myself much right now, but i have to try and find a way to not lose anymore dignity. It's like i literally feel myself going insane, slipping between reality and non-reality. I don't think i am in a healthy state of mind.

 

I called a friend and i am going to her place tonight.

[brazilgirl21]

I feel like I'm disconnected from this world. I'm SO tired but I can't bring myself to sleep. It's SO weird. I should try and get some sleep. I always feel better in the morning. I've been SO tired at night lately. Probably from all the overthinking.

 

Good night guys.

[mgirl]

I feel like I'm disconnected from this world. I'm SO tired but I can't bring myself to sleep. It's SO weird. I should try and get some sleep. I always feel better in the morning. I've been SO tired at night lately. Probably from all the overthinking.

 

Good night guys.

 

Maybe take a natural sleeping pill. I wouldn't advocate chemical drugs, but some sort of relaxant might be good.

 

And, i'm thinking we need to set new boundaries in order to regain some sort of mastery over our own lives. For example, on small things, like what time you're going to bed, to wait a certain time to check your messages (if you are still in this compulsive stage).

[brazilgirl21]

I have pills if I need them because of my anxiety. I don't really think I need it though, I could probably easy fall asleep now if I tried. That's what I'm going to do. Good night guys, let's remember tomorrow is a new and might be a better day!

[mgirl]

Night ........

[parlae]

I feel a little jealous that your exes contact you. I don't think my ex will ever contact me again.

 

i dont know about everyone else, but with my ex contacting me..it definitely didnt happen overnight.

at first, i couldnt bring myself to keep NC for more than a week.

and when i'd contact him, he'd just ignore me.

call me crazy, but i kept trying every few days lol i just couldnt leave it the way we left things. so i had sent him one last message saying how i thought it was really childish that we couldnt even be friends after being together for almost 3 years;he finally text me back and said that he had no problems being friends with me. he just knew that i wanted more than to just be his friend. so i told him all i wanted was to keep his friendship and to still have him in my life if at all possible. so we decided to be friends. and i guess that gave me some confidence, or even a bit of closure i guess you could call it,and after that...NC was easy.and ever since then, i havent initiated any contact.he texts/calls almost every day now. we're still "just friends" but we both know it's more than that. just taking things slow. but it's back to the way it was when we first started "dating/talking".

he's leaving in march to go to afghanistan for 5-6 months, so we're gonna still just keep in touch and see how things go for that time period, and once he gets back from his deployment..if we still both want it, we can be together again. and that's totally fine with me.

 

just keep your head up,brazilgirl.

what's meant to be, will be. you gotta remember that and trust in it.

best of luck and to everyone else as well.

[rayah]

see i just dont understand all the time...like my ex and i are friends and we have been friends during the whole breakup. and at first, i was friends b/c i thought that we would get back together but i know now that is not the case. but we have so much in common and we enjoy each other's company [although i do know that seeing him isn't the best thing for me]. it's just this. i am not holding on, i know that when the time is right i will have a wonderful man. im a junior in college, i have so many other things to be worrying about. true. but when we hang out for awhile and i dont know i just have these feelings. not even old feelings, but new feelings. i kinda discarded the old r-ship, b/c the old r-ship was so wrong. we were two kids who needed to learn. the thing i dont understand is when two people who have a bond plus there's still attraction, why is it so impossible to just go slow again. i feel like 7 months [almost] is a long time for us to grow. but i mean i guess its not the perfect time, since he is involved with a new girl, but she's a freshman and i dont really think of her. i enjoy our f-ship. the only times when i get anxious are on two occasions: 1) when i text him and he's w/ her and he ignores my texts [maybe i'll ask him why this is] 2) when we hang out and there is definitely something there, not even sexual.

 

so yea i decided to change my tactic from NC to LC. b/c honestly i feel like it's been too long to go NC for no apparent reason. It seems like all the people i've been reading about have gone NC right after or near right after the breakup. 7 months is past due, i think. LC means that I won't contact him [he knows my #] and if he contacts me then i might respond [but not too much].

 

what do y'all think of my plan? b/c its not like he did anything wrong, i just up out the blue decided NC b/c we were spending good quality time together and i asked him could we work on us and he said it wasnt the option. ughhh life is so difficult. especially when i hate to make people mad.

[philove]

Day 1 again for me after blowing 9 days of NC yesterday. My last conversation with her was I asked her if she was going to be online tonight and she replied back with no. I just left it at that and have now decided to ignore any form of contact from her until I am fully healed. She probably won't contact me anyway and she has given me the closure I need by saying she is dating again so it looks like I need to work on myself and move on at my own pace.

 

God give me strength

[brazilgirl21]

PARLAE - I'm SO glad things are working SO well for you. I'm almost... jealous!!

 

Things are not to well for me, but at least I have the strenght to continue NC. I had a HORRIBLE, tough night. I was just exhausted and scared of God knows what. Was very hard to wake up for work this morning. Luckily, my bosses are also late.

 

I feel like I'm just failing in everything. I'm showing NO interest in my last semester of uni, I'm being horrible at my job which is like, one of the best advertising companies in the world and I should be using this opportunity! I haven't studied for the GMAT at all lately and buss school has always been my priority. I'm just, blah at everything! I want to get back with my life, with my passions... I'm tired of feeling so "apathetic" towards everything.

 

Plus this carnaval: link removed

 

SO much happyness, so many people, and my ex will be at a calm beach with his gf and his friends. GREAT. I could have been in the beach with him last year, but I had the GREAT idea to dump him instead.

 

Not a good day.

 

Still keeping NC and NEVER breaking it.

[Ixtapa]

Feeling okay but still thinking about him all the time....and hoping that he will pick up the phone at some point and call me (or send me an email...or add me on facebook....or, or, or...

[BrokenheartUK]

Day 18

 

This morning was bad but I'm levelling out now...only to get worse later I imagine when I finish work and get to go home to the empty house for two days solitude.

 

I HATE the weekends as I know it's the one time that my ex and her new love will be together for definite. It's funny, people at work are all saying the usual "thank God it's Friday" and all I can think of is "Screw the weekend, I wish it was Monday again"

[brazilgirl21]

broken - I'm with you bro, 100%

 

Today I feel very "defeated". You know, my ex has always been very stable and we had a very stable relationship, but these past few months I've been a mess. On our last contact on monday I didn't scream or threaten or anything and never would, but I was like "Ugh, I'm so weak, cry, cry, cry, I'm so sad, I'm worried about me, cry, cry, cry". My ex knows I had anxiety problems and had taken meds for it in the past and he is really against all that although now he seems to understand it because his mother, brother, a lot of people take anxiety meds. However, I feel like he thinks I'm completely crazy and unstable and will NEVER ever want to be with me again. He probably thinks his new girl is so simple and that I'm an emotional mess. The thing is, I've always been SO stable. I never, ever, had a fight with him in which I screamed or lost control or anything. And then, after the break-up I cried and acted SO desperate. I feel like he's like "Gosh, I'm SO glad I got rid of this girl, she'll probably end up like her mom or something". My mom had depression and he knows about it since we used to talk about it. However, he never thought it was a big deal.

 

Do guys think like this? She's unstable, a mess, I need to get away.

 

However, I haven't screamed, drove to his house, called him numerous times, anything. I've just cried and acted very sad when he contacted me or when I found out he was seeing someone else SO soon. I really don't want him to think I'm unstable and that's the reason he will never get back with me.

[LittleLost]

Day 1 again. She showed up on IM to tell me she's not ignoring me, she just have been too busy to reply to my e-mail. I told her I didn't need the response soon. She could take the time she wants. She can even opt not to reply to it. I don't care.

[longdist]

Day 23

I'm feeling pretty good today, again. I think I'm coming to terms with everything. So, everyone you can have hope that if you keep NC for this long that things get better. I still have moments of pain, but they are much fewer than before. It will soon be 2 full months that we have been broken up.

 

Anyhow, I am planning to break NC sometime in the coming week because of:

 

 

I think it's something that my ex needs to know and I don't expect any reply. In fact, I feel like it will at least temporarily drive her further away.