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mgirl

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Everything posted by mgirl

  1. Grr, so angry! But, need to focus on myself. You never deserved my attention and certainly don't deserve it now...
  2. You talk about 'dignity' and being able to look life in the face. Well, take a look at yourself. You are a 37 year old woman who grows marijuana and thinks it's cool! Furthermore, you expose a 15 year old boy to it, and to alcohol. You should be ashamed of yourself. Even if we had have got along, i don't think that your lack of backbone would have done me well. I am looking for somebody courageous, and you do not fit that criteria.
  3. This is great! It feels so good to know that i am not the only one who gets hijacked by anger! There is nothing wrong with it. My stupid ex-whatever-you-want-to-call-it, never used to let me get angry! There was always something wrong with me and now i "need therapy"... I should have asked her if she was going to pay for it!
  4. Oh yeah, and you tell me off because i don't say that "i love you" after 6 weeks? What was that all about? Unlike you, i actually mean it when i like or love somebody. So, it takes me a little time. I like quality and i don't like saying things i do not mean. Just because your "love" is expendable, mine is not. Sorry for not being "common". I've never been hurt physically by somebody i've had sex with. You really should take a look at that, there is something wrong with a woman who doesn't know her way around another woman's body, lol.
  5. Whilst you were a beautiful person on the inside, you are emotionally immature and really don't know how to handle the emotions or agency of another. You are actually bordering on being a selfish, spoiled brat, who has no regard for anybody else's feelings. That angers me. Your constant self righteous behaviour used to really annoy me! No wonder i didn't want to sleep with you. There was no room in the bed for you, me and your big ego. No, in all seriousness, how to you expect to make love with somebody if you never want to hear what they say or acknowledge how they feel? You are so deluded, you really believe you are what you say you are: loyal, compassionate, a giver, sensitive. Those were ideas in your own mind. And, you want to talk about abuse? Ignoring somebody emotionally and not tending to their needs is emotional abuse. Why be with somebody if you don't really care about how they feel? Support? Where were you the time i was sick over the NY? Thanks for yelling at me the day after my sister's birthday. Thanks for sending me a message on Valentine's Day when you know it was my sister's death anniversary. In fact, thanks for being there for me! Thanks for spending my money when the times were good and thanks for making a joke about my business when it went bad. Thank you so much Rebecca. In actual reality, you are a self centred control freak who only wants somebody to compliment their life, rather than to eventually create a life with somebody. Go and find yourself a rubber doll!
  6. See, i don't feel you should go no contact until you are SURE that it is over and when you are sure there is NO HOPE of a reconciliation. I am almost there. I think i am still in the Denial stage (moving between Denial and Acceptance), where i think i can bargain.
  7. First of all, you weren't a rebound. But, i am not going to grovel to you anymore, you are arrogant. You say i'm nasty and aggressive? Well, you're evasive and non responsive. And, don't for a minute think i wanted to meet up to get back with you, that wasn't the case. It's called "common decency", resolving everything so we can both move forward. Putting anymore energy into you is a waste of time. I am trying to let go with positive feelings and i will know better next time to select somebody who is accountable. I want a woman, not a little girl!
  8. Omg, i am so angry! I broke NC last night and i was doing really well. Think it was about a week. DO NOT BREAK NC FOLKS - it's not worth it.
  9. Yes, you should try to forgive. By not forgiving, you are only tying yourself to the past (yeah, i know. I'm sure you've heard it all before I think you will forgive. Happiness is the best revenge. Concentrate on a happy life and you will be fine...
  10. That freakin' . Luck always seems to come her way. First she finds a good sperm donor, then she has a 9 year relationship before me. Next she'll probably find someone who is "in love" with her - she stipulated this is what she wants (apparently i wasn't). Grr... Thanks for creating this thread.
  11. Maybe take a natural sleeping pill. I wouldn't advocate chemical drugs, but some sort of relaxant might be good. And, i'm thinking we need to set new boundaries in order to regain some sort of mastery over our own lives. For example, on small things, like what time you're going to bed, to wait a certain time to check your messages (if you are still in this compulsive stage).
  12. Yeah, i'm gonna have to give this a go. Or, at least not be so fast to respond to her messages, as it is all run on drama. To be honest, i am still getting off on the drama a bit, and i know it's not healthy. I have just about lost all my dignity. She has over-stepped most of my boundaries and i have let her. I don't like myself much right now, but i have to try and find a way to not lose anymore dignity. It's like i literally feel myself going insane, slipping between reality and non-reality. I don't think i am in a healthy state of mind. I called a friend and i am going to her place tonight.
  13. I'm hearing you. I took some natural sleeping pills last night, as i figured my brain would be able to think better after some sleep. You should try to go out tonight, or do something to keep yourself occupied. Or, post here I've had headaches and body aches too.
  14. I'm actually starting to think you're better off not contacting even if their emotionally blackmailing you, because you give up your power.
  15. She has just sent me another message, like i care. but, i'm sure she will send the clincher when she announces to me that she is 'bringing her son back'. That's when i will have to be strong, as she will want to engage me in emotional turmoil.
  16. Thanks Penelope. Don't i owe it her? Or, shouldn't i at least tell her i won't be contacting her again and the reasons why? So she knows? She has been threatening suicide, but she reckons she won't do it becaues i made her promise not to. She has also driven 2,000 kms over night, without any sleep, to supposedly get her child (the real reason for our arguments), compromising her job. I think she is bi-polar. She has no plans for him if/when she gets him back. She only decided this yesterday. That is how insane she is. Right now, i am on the verge of losing my mind. When i message her, she is cool and rational and detached, like she doesn't care, and totally unempathetic to my needs. It's like she is getting off on this. I am just wasting too much time on her, this is a bad investment. But, i can't seem to stop. The last message i sent was at 4am this morning. It is now 11.30am and i haven't sent another one. I'm thinking i should just send one last one, with the reasons why, so there is no confusion, and be done with it.
  17. Hi everybody, In relation to NC, should i tell her first why i am not contacting her anymore? Should i give her this? Or, should i just not contact her for a few days until i get things right in my head. I'm still not sure what i want to do, but one thing for sure is i am sick of hearing from her and her 'updates'. What is the right thing to do with NC? What if they try to contact you? What if they get all emotional? Somebody please help...
  18. Hey, nice sentiment Daddy Bear, and great graphics!
  19. I know this post was written years ago, but i would have a contract in place whereby you retain ownership of the song, just incase it becomes a hit! But, i think it's a great idea.
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