arghgirl Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Day 3 for me, too. I am now starting to see that I do care about him and value him as a person, but our timing was not right. We are not ready for each other right now. It hurts but I know it is for the best. I want to feel like we will get together in the future, but I cannot think that far ahead. Hope is my biggest enemy right now. Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 Day 4- I'm on the airport and this is my worse day so far. I can't stand all these couples travelling together. I just want this holiday to be over and done with. I can't stop thinking about my ex for 1 second. I feel so lonely! Thankfully, when I come back next week it will be over 10 days of NC and I'll start to feel better. I'm just very angry with him right now. Link to comment
ladyjp Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 After numerous texts back and forth last night he says he is just really sick. I had a full presciption and offered to give it to him if he needed it. 7:30 this morning he texts wanting to meet to get the meds. We met for lunch ( he didn't seem sick so much) and spent 2 hours chatting about nothing really - just like old times. I didn't bring up the other girl and we didn't talk about us. Just laughed alot and it felt so good like it use to. I finally said I had to get going and he inquired about when I was moving ( am moving in 10 days about 10 minutes from him . We live over an hour apart now). Offered to help with the move and wanted to know the date. Then he asked if he could give me a hug and held me for a long time. It was nice. I left and within minutes he text me saying " the hug was great". I am not sure what now? I didn't say anything to him again about not seeing her because I told him point blank yesterday it was us or nothing. I guess I will go NC and see what his next move is. He told me he had been thinking about me so much he almost text my gf to see how I was. I just wish he would put his pride down and say forget about her let's be together again. I think it is pride because I could tell he still had the feelings for me. I didn't ask about "us" again cause I didn't want to sound needy Link to comment
Sunkist09 Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 Day 15 - it's getting better. I am excited. I am going on a double date...hot white guy... hahaa... Link to comment
ladyjp Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 Day 15 - it's getting better. I am excited. I am going on a double date...hot white guy... hahaa... Sunkist enjoy tomorrow night! I hope he is something great and you forget everything else! I will cross my toes and fingers for you that he is a great "hot " white gy Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 I am excited for you guys! I'm at Day 5 now since its 3 am and I cant sleep! I'm at home and the music is SO bloody loud outside!!! Damm happy brazilians partying on the streets. I need my sleep to feel less stressful and be able to enjoy carnaval tomorrow, but my house is in the middle of all the confusion and I just can't ignore this music and go to sleep!! This breakup is really triggering my anxiety! At least now I just feel more anxious than thinking about my ex. I don't even care about my ex right now as I just want to be able to get some sleep. Passing time here since my dad said this music stops around 5-6am. Oh joy. Link to comment
JohnGalt Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 Im on day 3 of my new NC. Going good. Im thinking now if me ex contacted me asked to be friends or something along those lines Id definitely say no. Im starting to question what the hell I was thinking staying with her for so long knowing it was going to end like it did one way or another. But thats love isnt it? That's the spirit man, but since you're only on day three...I have to say, be prepared for violent swings in your mood. The first few days are liberating. The next two weeks are hell. Link to comment
JohnGalt Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 I know it's a tough place to be in. There are times that I don't even feel like going out, but the other option is to stay home and wallow in my pain. So, I go put a smile on my face and before you know it I'm having a good time. It will get easier for you, just remember that. Or get Netflix! Link to comment
iminsane Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 Hi all, My ex's boyfriend is coming to see her this weekend. He is coming on a holiday from a far place. im so worried and tensed. I'm thinking where they would go out, what they would do. This feeling kills me. Just want to call and ask whats happening. Its been 19 days since i spoke to her. 10 days since i checked her profile. But today i cudn resist. I just checked whats she is upto. I didn't feel bad, but still wondering why i did it. Hope i don't break my NC. Please help !!! Link to comment
philove Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 Day 2 for me, she emailed me yesterday asking what i want from her when she knows damn well what a want (closure) so I decided to ignore it and that felt good I'm trying my best not to think about her using my technique I developed and that seems to be working well. I let myself go since she left so I am having my hair cut this morning and just treating myself for once. We can do it!! Link to comment
and again Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 yesterday so so went out at night, not thinking to much of her whilst out but was bored in pub. Work still crappy at moment so that doesnt help to much. Thoughts on her, she didnt have a lot to talk about, apart from either moaning or false pomises, and actions should have spoke louder than words, if she meant half of what she said. 5 out of 10 Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 Just had a really long conversation with one of my ex's best friends in his home country (where we met and dated but where neither one of us is at the moment). I met her through him and if nothing else, Im so glad he introduced us. We are a lot alike even though we come from totally different backgrounds. No matter the culture of origin, people are people in the end Anyway. Talking with her made me think about him more. I wonder what he is doing, if he is happy, if he is thinking of me at all. But overall, Im okay. Link to comment
looking4ward Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 I'm trying do hard to do NC to get healthy and *hopefully* bring him back to me. I'm only on day 2 right now- he texted me "Happy Birthday"- I don't need to respond right? If I don't respond that's not being cruel right? Thanks, K Link to comment
JohnGalt Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 Hi all, My ex's boyfriend is coming to see her this weekend. He is coming on a holiday from a far place. im so worried and tensed. I'm thinking where they would go out, what they would do. This feeling kills me. Just want to call and ask whats happening. Its been 19 days since i spoke to her. 10 days since i checked her profile. But today i cudn resist. I just checked whats she is upto. I didn't feel bad, but still wondering why i did it. Hope i don't break my NC. Please help !!! Stop yourself now. Her man is coming and they're going to have a great time together. They probably don't see each other often. 19 days is quite an accomplishment. Don't throw it all away by being needy and clingy. Calling her and asking her what she's up to is just going to push her away and hurt your chances of reconciliation in the future. The thing I stress to people is reconciliation is not a short term plan. It is a long term plan. You're going to have to let this thing with her new man play out. Link to comment
JohnGalt Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 I'm trying do hard to do NC to get healthy and *hopefully* bring him back to me. I'm only on day 2 right now- he texted me "Happy Birthday"- I don't need to respond right? If I don't respond that's not being cruel right? Thanks, K Respond saying "Thanks. That's very sweet." No contact has two purposes: 1) to make you heal 2) for you to withdraw enough for your ex to miss the good qualities. ok, #2 is what everyone on this thread wants, but that doesn't mean NEVER contact your ex. The point is, if you feel as if you're going to be hurt by contacting them...don't contact them. If you feel as if you're going to act desperate or say something you'll regret later, don't contact them. Here, he texted you first. Now you can respond in the above fashion and immediately go back to NC. Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 Day 5 and I feel depressed/anxious. No longet care/think about the ex and his new girl, I just want to feel better about myself. Link to comment
arghgirl Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 Day 4. It is getting easier as I know he needs to be alone. He is a disaster, and I do not want to be a part of that. I do love him dearly as a person and miss him. Too bad our timing was so off. Link to comment
LittleLost Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 Day 1 again. Sent a very short e-mail yesterday asking her not to IM me anymore (it's just too invasive for me because I work in the computer!). If she wants to talk with me, send me an e-mail or call me, 'cause I can at least refuse the call. Day 5 and I feel depressed/anxious. No longet care/think about the ex and his new girl, I just want to feel better about myself. Hey! It's carnaval! Hang out with your family and friends! Have fun! Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Day 5 and I feel depressed/anxious. No longet care/think about the ex and his new girl, I just want to feel better about myself. Wow, I still think (and care, for some reason) about my ex and her guy constantly and I've been NC for 19 days now. In fact, I'm thinking about them right now as I know they are out together Link to comment
wiley Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Wow, I still think (and care, for some reason) about my ex and her guy constantly and I've been NC for 19 days now. In fact, I'm thinking about them right now as I know they are out together Im with you on that, I hate the weekends too now as I know he will be with her and his 2 young kids will be there too so it will be like a little family I was planing to give her And it doesn't help that he moved in a month after them meeting! It took me and her about a year to move in together! We chose that place together, decorated it together, and now hes in the bed we once shared. Love sucks! Link to comment
TLguy Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 That's the spirit man, but since you're only on day three...I have to say, be prepared for violent swings in your mood. The first few days are liberating. The next two weeks are hell. Well I did 20 days before this...so Im ok. She hasnt contacted me in 3 weeks now...ah well. Day 4 was ok. Many a good thing happened today. Im feeling a little down but thats only because a) ive got it into my head that its sunday today (well....its 3am now so it is lol) and b) ive got so much work to do tomorrow its all blurgh. Ah well. Tomorrow will be fine and dandy Im sure Im on day 5 now. Am gonna do this challenge and be finished with it all. Link to comment
Girl wants EX Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Day 4... You are doing well, baby! Link to comment
iminsane Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 19 days is quite an accomplishment. Don't throw it all away by being needy and clingy. Calling her and asking her what she's up to is just going to push her away and hurt your chances of reconciliation in the future. Yeah, all my hard work will go in vain if i call. I will stick to NC. Weekdays keeps me busy with work and people around me. Weekends kills me. But during first few days in work place, i found myself difficult to concentrate on work.. Then i found it easy. Guess i will find some ways to keep myself busy during weekends. NC is for me to heal. Link to comment
jahur Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 RobD70- Thank You! it is nice to hear a man's opinion ( not that I don't cherish every female one I get). I can't believe I have let him push me this far. I am usually so strong but he has just threw in the hook and reeled me in. So, if he texts say nothing? Also, he is supposed to come over to my new house March 3 to put in some electrical outlets for me- Should I just tell him I don't need him to if he asks about it? that could be the worst thing you could do, dont contact him to say no i dont want them fitted, if he asks, (if u cave in and answer) say you had a pro come in and do them. just dont let him be in control, u will only set yourself up for more dashed hopes and pain, its not worth it Link to comment
jahur Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 No....I don't even want to imagine him with another woman. I'm just so glad that I don't know if he's seeing someone else. That would be harder to deal with. when my ex told me that she was with someone else it gave me instant closure, because i know as soon as she said those immortal words "im with someone else" the door on that chapter could by finally closed and start to cement the door up along with the others in my life. you see, its like a rush of adrenalin when those words are said, when it said visions of them banging one another, going out, etc you know the scenario its like a million plus hurt capsules are released and settle in th pit of your stomach, what im trying to say is its harder when you have no closure at all and left wondering. i was fortunate enough to be told that she was with someone else. i must admit i did push it though, i asked her if she was with someone else, she replied "if its want you want to hear then yes i am" whether it was true or not, i got my closure, my way! its odd but by god does it work and i got that closure 1 and a half weeks of splitting up from each other. Link to comment
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