In all reality, how likely is this?

[shep88ner]

my girlfriend and I have been dating for 11 months now. back around month 4 she admited she had lied to me about having sex with a guy a couple of years back. i of course got very angry and we had a huge fight about it.

 

so then a few months later, me, my girlfriend, and her best friend were all sitting in my girlfriends room. so i covered up with this purple blanket on her bed. and her friend looked at me and laughed and said "um, bryan, you might not want to touch that!" and she kind of giggled and looked at my girlfriend. my girlfriend then said "oh shut up it's been washed"...so i obviously questioned it. she told me how her and her last boyfriend were in her room and they were both under that blanket. she said her pants were off, but her thong was still on, and his pants were down around his knees. she siad how she was on top of him and they were kissing, but never did have sex.

 

my question is, how plausible is this? do you think they had sex but she's scared to tell me?

 

here's why im concerned. before her mom knew we had sex, she'd let her have a curtain infront of her door...so it was actually hard to see inside sometimes. we'd be under one blanket and do all kinds of stuff. on several occasions, we actually did have sex with her mom and her aunt at home by simple laying under the same blanket. her and her ex were very physical and he even fingered her under a blanket sitting in his parents living room with about 5 of his family members!!! so im just really nervous about her story because i just dont see how you can get to that point, and not have sex. because me and her have had sex plenty of times when her thong was still on, so that's not even a problem.

 

so what do you all think?

 

 

 

 

the thing im worried about is if i find out the truth, im ending it with her. and i really care about her a lot...i just dont know

[agent1607307371]

It's possible, it's also possible that she's not had sex.

 

The fact is, her sex life prior to you, is her business not yours.

 

Why would you end it with her and why do you assume that she's lying about it. Take it that you know the truth and trust your gf.

[shep88ner]

i would end it for the sake of her lying to me. and the reason i dont 100% trust her is because last time she swore up and down she didnt have sex with a guy, i found out the truth from 4 other people before she actually admitted to it.

[Beec]

You should simply not be asking such questions. Accept it as the turh, or just end things with her, if you won't trust her.

[shep88ner]

im not really asking for dr. phil here. i dont need some emotionaly guidance or whatever. i was just wondering what the chances of them having sex are...that's it. the way i see it, it is my business, and even if i shouldnt ask the questions, i am reguardless

[agent1607307371]

The chances are 50/50. Same as everything else in this world.

 

It's not your business. You don't trust her, break up with her.

[annie24]

im not really asking for dr. phil here. i dont need some emotionaly guidance or whatever. i was just wondering what the chances of them having sex are...that's it. the way i see it, it is my business, and even if i shouldnt ask the questions, i am reguardless

 

well, none of us are psychics so there is no way we can know. they may have had sex, or maybe they didn't. Her and her friend shouldn't have gone into details about the blanket, that was a bit tacky. But I guess they are young.

 

And we can't give you numbers either. We don't know if there is an 89% chance they had sex, or 72% or 50%. How could we know?

[tylercdurden2004]

Personally I would ask the question why her and her friend are so immature? I see this as the problem and to me its clear she is trying to get under your skin to see how you will react. Dont worry about her past sexual exploits worry about yours.

 

But at the end of the day do you really want to date someone with the maturity of a gnat? Your choice.

 

Personally I would drop her. Experience shows immature women are not worth any of your time.

[Ash]

the thing im worried about is if i find out the truth, im ending it with her. and i really care about her a lot...i just dont know

 

By this statement you are telling us you know she is lying. Given that, if she comes clean you'll dumnp her. If she continues to lie, then that's ok??? This makes absolutely no sense.

 

You can either choose to leave the past in the past and let it drop. I agree with some other responders in that you never should have got into this line of questioning with her if it was going to cause an issue. I think the real issue for you is she's had sex before you, not that she "lied" to you. It's more like she's ommited to tell you this because: a) it's in the past, and is her business and b) because she knows you're hung up on it.

 

Your choice. Cut her lose for something that happened in the past or stay with her and leave the past alone. Your issue is with her past life, not with her lying.

 

And nope, we're not Dr. Phil. You asked what we thought. Don't be upset because you're getting some honest feedback. Oh yeah ... Dr. Phil gets paid, we don't!

[Batya33]

I think it is tacky to share details of your past s_x life with a boyfriend or anyone with whom you are romantically involved.

[shikashika]

so she had sex with other people before you two got together?

 

none of your business then... doesn't matter who she slept with before she met you!

 

sounds like you need to get over that as well

 

her friend making that comment must be severly immature though!

 

you saidm " its my business"... uh no its not..

[RayKay]

Why the heck are they telling you those details? Seriously, they are very young, callous and I have to say, your girlfriend does not demonstrate much respect by doing so.

 

Regardless, her sex life before you is her business. We here cannot tell you WHAT happened, or if she is lying or not. But I will say it seems from all your posts you don't trust her, and that she is not exactly mature herself, and that maybe rather than deal with all this constant "is she telling the truth or not?" it would be better to end it and move on.

[shep88ner]

alright everyone......i guess sex to me isnt like holding hands with someone. but apparently if she has had sex with 10 guys and cheated on 9 of them and then started dating me, i shouldnt be concerned because it's her business. its obvious everyone missed the question, we all got hung up on repeating exactly what the poster before us said. but alright, thanks anyway

[shikashika]

alright everyone......i guess sex to me isnt like holding hands with someone. but apparently if she has had sex with 10 guys and cheated on 9 of them and then started dating me, i shouldnt be concerned because it's her business. its obvious everyone missed the question, we all got hung up on repeating exactly what the poster before us said. but alright, thanks anyway

 

cheating is a totally different issue!! thats not something to be OK with..

[Jayar]

cheating is a totally different issue!! thats not something to be OK with..

 

Exactly... But she could have had sex with 50 guys and nope, not one of them is your business. If you find out something that makes you have doubts and you can't handle it, you leave. If your relationship with her means more to you than some insecurity, then you stay. That's what it boils down to.

[Beec]

alright everyone......i guess sex to me isnt like holding hands with someone. but apparently if she has had sex with 10 guys and cheated on 9 of them and then started dating me, i shouldnt be concerned because it's her business. its obvious everyone missed the question, we all got hung up on repeating exactly what the poster before us said. but alright, thanks anyway

 

I think we all just agree.

 

Her past should not be the issue. Her attitude towards sex and monogamy now should be the issue.

 

I also think much of the message is that you should never have asked.

[Ash]

Nope, we didn't miss the question at all. Perhaps you didn't ask us the right one though.

 

I specifically asked back you why you would keep somebody who hid the truth but dupm her when she told the truth and you missed that ... but that's okay, I don't mind at all.

 

I'm not sure what her possibly cheating and her possibly having sex really have to do with one another. Just because she may or may not have had sex with numerous guys in no way should be linked as the whether she cheats on them.

 

You ask us questions, we try to answer. It's the best we can do. And if we all write roughly the same thing then it's likely a very good idea to take what we say to heart. There's far more collective experience here than you can access in any other reasonable way ... and as I said before ... it's free!!

[agent1607307371]

alright everyone......i guess sex to me isnt like holding hands with someone. but apparently if she has had sex with 10 guys and cheated on 9 of them and then started dating me, i shouldnt be concerned because it's her business. its obvious everyone missed the question, we all got hung up on repeating exactly what the poster before us said. but alright, thanks anyway

 

Is that what happened?

[EvaGina]

What business is it of yours who she was with before you?

Its really not your issue at all.

If she doesnt want to tell you, she doesnt want to tell you! She might not feel proud of her "conquests"

And how did you find out from her friends? Were you asking them? Becuase that would be horrible of you.

 

Anyways, apart from that, drop it... I know her lying to you would hurt you, but you shoudlnt be making her feel like she should lie in the first place.

[EvaGina]

But you dont know what the situation was like with the men she cheated on.

Its never black and white.

 

As long as she is clean and doesnt have stds and things... its still not his business unless she volenteers the information

[Deviant_Kate]

It's not like she cheated on you. You're going to have to deal with the fact that as you grow up, a lot (if not all) of the women you date will have, at some point in the past, had sex with somebody else.

 

My best advice it to simply not think about it. She's not "soiled" or "damaged"...as long as she's faithful and disease-free, there shouldn't be a problem.

[treefrogkate]

It's not like she cheated on you. You're going to have to deal with the fact that as you grow up, a lot (if not all) of the women you date will have, at some point in the past, had sex with somebody else.

 

My best advice it to simply not think about it. She's not "soiled" or "damaged"...as long as she's faithful and disease-free, there shouldn't be a problem.

 

Well said.

[unface]

Go out and love some women.

 

Spread that "good seed"