Down I go..

[sandyv]

Hey Desert!!!! Yep Christmas songs and such just make me sad, I avoid everything, Xmas

 

 

 

[LONESOUL]

I think we all ask ourselves that, pproabaly more often then we'd admit, simply

because we are still sorting it all out and are wondering why we are still hurting so badly.

I think only you can answer that question for yourself Beebee.

Remember that sometimes we remain in love with the idea, not the person.

Also ask yourself, did the person I fell so deeply in love with turn out to be the person I thought they were ? Now that I know who she/he really is and that she/he so easily hurt me, do I love THAT person that they really are?

[LONESOUL]

Desert~Desert's "alter ego" Cat, Morning.

 

If you want her, you'll find her. (or maybe she'll find you) We are allot more attractive when we become whole and happy with

ourselves. Maybe you should stop looking for now, stop concentrating on someone new. That will come in time. There are billions of people in the world,

somehow I think the odds are in your favor. Try to focus on the good parts of being single, while you have the chance.

[LONESOUL]

Camber, John, Winter....how are you guys today??

DYT? Not dropping by to say hello today?

[desertnomad]

I think dyt was up late lone

yeah but the solitude is killing me and depression is getting stronger. I have found people when I wasnt looking but it never turned out to good for me.

[LONESOUL]

"solitude"= isolation? if so, you know thats no good, get up get out!!

(but I thought you had been, what about the friends you have been making)

Do mean solitude as in the holiday is coming and you do not a significant other? Depression is anger turned inward. You also have a right to be angry, but you have to channel it, remember? You can that Desert, maybe you have stopped but you have done that before with great success.

 

" I have found people when I wasnt looking but it never turned out to good for me."

 

 

 

It didn't turn out good for you because it wasn't the right person for you.The fact that you were not looking at the time you met really has nothing to do with the relationship not working out, does it? You not looking simply means you will no longer make finding a companion a priority. It does mean you don't want one, it means you will not spend your time a. actively searching for a partner or b. allowing yourself to get depressed because right now you do not have one.

[desertnomad]

Well I think back on my life and I was in the same position six years ago! Alone at xmas. And its not just xmas thats just one day...

 

Yeah I have more acquaintances now and a better job but essentially I am in the same place as I was. All that hard work and effort for nothing.

 

Trying with my ex to get to a better place and we did. I know she wasnt all she tried to appear to be but I accepted her. She didnt accept me good and bad. Is that just a pipe dream. Because I have never found it.

[LONESOUL]

I don't think it is, but I honestly don't know Desert. I know that I loved someone and it didn't work out. I know I got hurt really bad and now there are somethings I need to do, for myself to make me whole. I know that if I don't take the nessessary steps to heal, I will not heal and I will stay in the

place of sadness and regret and anger and pain for a very very long time

and I simply choose not to. I intend to live, and I intend to enjoy it because

this person is not wrecking my life. period.

[sandyv]

Lone: You are a courageous woman, and I am suuch a WIMP

[LONESOUL]

You are not a wimp Sandy, a wimp would hide in the corner and think only of themselves and of their own pain. You are facing your pain everyday, and forging on, and helping others to face theirs and forge ahead as well. Nothing wimpy about that at all. In my opinion that is what a strong woman is!!

 

Here you go: (LOL!!)

 

 

I am woman, hear me roar

In numbers too big to ignore

And I know too much to go back an' pretend

'cause I've heard it all before

And I've been down there on the floor

No one's ever gonna keep me down again

 

CHORUS

Oh yes I am wise

But it's wisdom born of pain

Yes, I've paid the price

But look how much I gained

If I have to, I can do anything

I am strong (strong)

I am invincible (invincible)

I am woman

 

You can bend but never break me

'cause it only serves to make me

More determined to achieve my final goal

And I come back even stronger

Not a novice any longer

'cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

 

CHORUS

 

I am woman watch me grow

See me standing toe to toe

As I spread my lovin' arms accross the land

But I'm still an embryo

With a long long way to go

Until I make my brother understand

 

Oh yes I am wise

But it's wisdom born of pain

Yes, I've paid the price

But look how much I gained

If I have to I can face anything

I am strong (strong)

I am invincible (invincible)

I am woman

Oh, I am woman

I am invincible

I am strong

 

FADE

I am woman

I am invincible

I am strong

I am woman

[desertnomad]

wow that song makes me want to get a sex change..and the cat to

[desertnomad]

you know that sappy song 'only love can break a heart only love can mend it"? well yeah its sappy but it may be true...

 

when someone steps all over -lies, cheats, deceives you...

 

the only way to heal is for someone else to come along...

[LONESOUL]

Damn Des~(the sex change thing lol...and I heard the cat is PISSED, not to mention Beebee! lol)

 

Some people feel that way yes. I'm not sure I do. I think that maybe that has to do with how badly you want to be in a relationship as well. I think it

also depends on the perception of "feeling" healed. I think the only way to completey trust agin is to trust and see what happens though, and that sounds pretttttty scary if you ask the Loner. (me lol)

[desertnomad]

The cat will have to deal..although I am hiding all the knives tonite..

 

yeah the only way to get ripped apart is by trusting someone but maybe the only way to keep from staying ripped apart is...by trusting someone..

sounds like a catch 22

[LONESOUL]

Sounds like a h*ll of a predicament, glad I'm not the only one stuck

in it!! (not that i'm glad you guys are stuck, but hey ...misery loves company!??...Lone ducks and crawls under desk)

Catch 22 for sure my friend!!

[grantlarceny]

I just found this site recently, and. like you, I'm going through a divorce and it sometimes takes everything out of me - making it nearly impossible just to continue functioning at a basic level. Its been a couple of weeks since we decided it was over. I was doing very well emotionally for the first week and a half but I just crashed for no apparent reason. i wish there was an easy answer - in a way, I think its comforting to know that I'm not the only one who gets so twisted up inside that I have to force myself to eat and that sometimes I feel like I just want to curl up into a ball and cry. Hopefully its comforting for you to know as well.

 

If i can offer the only glimpse of advice that seems to work for me it is turning to yourself to for support - like saying to yourself "O.K. John, its you and me against the world now, let's get through this" Basically team up with yourself and try to call on that strength somewhere inside you - because in the end, that's the only thing that is going to get you through. Do the stuff in your life that has always made you happy or excited - even if you haven;t done it in years, and even if you don't feel excited about ANYTHING you could possibly think of (because I know right now NOTHING seems exciting to you) you still know what John used to enjoy doing - whether it is some sport or hobby start to do it again. You've just lost a big part of who you've been for the last several years and now you have to make yourself whole again. You have to find John again. You;re not alone buddy.

[LONESOUL]

Grantlarceny~welcome to enotalone.

I'm sorry to hear you have been going through allot latley.

Thats good advice for John, and all of us, thank you. Please feel free to post often and read this and allot of the other threads, they are very helpful

We are here for one another!

Take good care

Lone

[desertnomad]

Hi grant , welcome to ENA.

 

It is tough and alot of people here know what you are going through. Not exactly because I think every situation is different but the stuff like not eating and being on emotional roller coaster is all to familiar to me.

 

That is very good advice. Your right. In a way it is you against the world now. Finding a hobby has certainly helped me along with staying in touch with people on here. Even the cat has helped.

 

Stay in touch and keep posting here.

[sandyv]

Thnx Lone: and hey Desert you are too funny lol

[LONESOUL]

I'm out beautiful people~stay strong this weekend !!!

[sandyv]

Lone have a great one

 

xoxx

[doyathink]

link removed link removed Hi Guys

How about we all meet up for christmas and have our own party? Where do ya wanna meet? My house or yours??? Suggestions!?

[desertnomad]

How about my house its warmer here.

[doyathink]

OH YES! I was hoping you would volunteer your place...It's warm. but I'm bringing my dog so your cat can have fun too....

[desertnomad]

My cat isnt afraid of your dogs....