What is sex???

[quietgrl]

Sex is oral , anal and vaginal sex ok got it.I keep hearing people tell virgins if you engage in oral sex(outercourse) but not vaginal sex.You're not a "virgin" because oral sex is still sex.

 

My question is what happens a person never has oral or anal sex but just vaginal sex.What does that mean??They never had full sex and just half sex. Some people want to claim oral and anal as full "legit" sex so if a person not having oral and anal but vaginal. What does it mean..The person not having "legit"sex.

 

The point i'm making with my thread is a virginity point.You might not like it but a heterosexual virgin doesn't lost her virgin tittle until they have vaginal sex. A virgin who doesn't practice outercourse is a strict virgin and a virgin who does practice outercourse is just an experience virgin..

What is legit sex??

[PRSOV]

This has been posted so many times before argghhhh!!!!!

[annie24]

does it really matter in the end? or is it all semantics?

[DN]

I suppose we should ask Bill Clinton as a self-recognised expert on what is sex and what is not.

 

At this point in Western culture a virgin is someone who says s/he is.

[quietgrl]

PROSOV,

 

So has this:

 

"I personally don't understand this notion of being a "virgin" if you are doing everything else but penetration. The notion of "virginity" is about "purity and innocence". A person who gets naked, has oral sex and does everything but penetration may be a "technical virgin" but not an "innocent virgin".

 

" And I agree with the other posters.. it sounds kind of silly to be giving and receiving oral sex, but technically trying to remain a virgin..."

 

 

I started this thread because i keep hearing people on this board and other board make these comments to virgins. Why can't we discuss this topic again. .PROSOV there are no new topics on the enotalone board.I've heard people discuss the same topic 1 million times. How many time have i heard a man can't get an erection.

[rose2summer]

It is definitely semantics and it really depends on the person and their religious views.

 

I used to think that virginity encompassed just vaginal penetration, but realistically speaking, what is the difference between inserting one part of the body, the penis, versus fingers, or a tongue, it's still part of your body, so all in all, I now believe those all mean losing virginity.

 

I think sometimes we can use semantics to our advantage to create a certain image or persona, but really it's just a fassad.

 

That's just my take on it.

 

Hugs, Rose

[VIRGOLDY]

Being a virgin is OVER rated. Sex is a wonderful thing....especially when done in a loving, caring, commited relationship. Having sex with someone is the closest you can possibly get with another human being....if you are willing to allow someone to put their tongue, finger..or anything else in the most private parts of your body...then personally I think that means you are no longer "untainted".

[annie24]

Being a virgin is OVER rated.

 

lol - kind of ironic considering your screenname

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Being a virgin is OVER rated

 

It has nothing to do with being over rated. It has to do with a person's values.

[southerngirl]

I feel that vaginal sex is the cause for loss of virginity.

 

BUT... all too often people have oral sex, and dont think it is sex at all. They dont put the value on it that I feel it should have.

 

All of this is about personal values. If a virgin has been messing around, doing everything BUT.. how pure are they really?? I think in all honesty while they may still be a virgin they could be more experianced than others who have had 'full on' intercourse!

 

I am someone who feels anal or oral sex is still sex.

 

If you have anal sex you are no longer a virgin...

 

If you have oral sex, its iffy, but if a person has intercourse, they are not a virgin anymore.

 

There are plenty of men and woman who go through their life and never have anal sex. I personally find the idea of someone sticking anything into my crap hole disgusting, no thank you. I have had 2 kids and am expecting my 3rd now, so by that rationalization that I havent had 'full on sex' is humorous. My anus is for exit only!

[Luke Skywalker]

So, if someone tells me they are a 'technical virgin' - then that could mean they could still doing some hardcore type of stuff. I always thought the term was correctly 'Hot Virgin' - but perhaps 'technical and hot' virgin terms are synomous.

 

Well - what about viewing porn - would a porn viewer be an 'innoscent' or 'technical' virgin - and what about cyber sex?

 

But that is good stuff, if a date tells me she's a 'technical virgin' if the topic of sexuality ever came up - then that means rather than being an innoscent she could have been sucking someone or doing something else as far as I know. I'm so naive I'd believe if someone was a technical virgin, it would mean they looked at porn or something and nothing more.

[WorkNProgress]

It has nothing to do with being over rated. It has to do with a person's values.

 

Crazy,

I don't think it has anything to do with values so much. Yes, there are those who will wait before they engage in sexual activity. Then there are others who want to have sex however circumstances aren't allowing that. Be it location, looks, how interactive they are in the world (meaning they aren't sitting at home online all day.)

 

 

This will be a question that has no real definite answer. It has been asked over and over and has there ever been a resolution no.

 

Quietgirl, I think you must have some hangup about your virginity? Most of your posts are about it and you also say you post on another forum about it. Perhaps, seeking out counseling or a book to help delve in to why it is you are so uncomfortable with your virginity.

[friscodj]

What is legit sex??

 

To me, this question is moot. The question I ask myself is...Is this legit love?

[TheRedQueen]

Legit sex ( at least in the heterosexual sense), is a consensul act between a male and a female, where the penis is inserted into the vagina which usually culminates with the male ejaculating and when your lucky, or a bit older and experienced, also culminates with the female orgasming as well.

[TheRedQueen]

Legit sex, missionary position, vanilla, vanilla, vanilla, blah, blah, boring

[SquareWheel]

I believe that, in the most strictly proper sense, "sex" means hetersexual vaginal intercourse. I don't count any other activity as sex. My reason for feeling that way is that in biological reality, the sexual act is essentially a reproductive function involving both opposite sexes.

 

We humans also practice sex purely for pleasure (although we're not the only species that does that). And it's still sex, whether the intent is to procreate or not.

 

But we've expanded upon the basic sex act with a lot of other things we enjoy, such as oral stimulation and anal penetration, and those, in my opinion, aren't related to actual sex. We just tend to associate them with sex because they involve nudity and/or intimate physical contact, and we generally engage in them as we're having sex.

 

To me, oral and anal "sex" have nothing more to do with actual sex than hugging and kissing (although they're certainly more intimate and carry greater risks). I consider them all just acts of affection and leave it at that.

 

Of course, this is an academic distinction. If you're intent on keeping your virginity, it's presumably about maintaining your innocence, naivete, and inexperience. If you're going to engage in such deeply intimate activities as oral and anal "activities", you're giving up those qualities anyway, so it wouldn't seem to make much difference whether you go ahead and have sex.

 

But I would pose a question for discussion: I believe that sex is about intimate contact, so if the male member is covered with a latex sleeve that prevents contact, does the sex actually "count"? If you've only done it with a condom, have you technically lost your virginity or not?

[quietgrl]

WorkNProgress,

 

"Quietgirl, I think you must have some hangup about your virginity? Most of your posts are about it and you also say you post on another forum about it. Perhaps, seeking out counseling or a book to help delve in to why it is you are so uncomfortable with your virginity."

 

 

I don't have a hangup about my virginity but some people do when i speak about virginity..I'm proud to be a sex with commitment nonreligious virgin for now.

Yes i'm going to talk about virginity because it's a part of my life for now.What's the differants between me and some people on Enotalone who talk about their sex lives on the board .Nothing.

WorkNProgress i don't need counseling for wanting sex with commitment via LT boyfriend or husband.I'm not a freak for wanting meanful intercourse and not casual sex.

I'm not the typical virgin who going to have intercourse before her time or wait to educate herself about sex until it's time for me to have sex.It's time nonvirgin see a new type of virgin.

[quietgrl]

SquareWheel,

 

 

I agree with your post.

[Batya33]

I was technically a virgin - no intercourse - until I was 24. Prior to that I was sexual with men and did not think of myself as "virginal." Remaining technically a virgin held some importance to me, and I am also highly selective about who I am sexual with. To me if someone says "we had sex" I assume they had intercourse.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

But we've expanded upon the basic sex act with a lot of other things we enjoy, such as oral stimulation and anal penetration, and those, in my opinion, aren't related to actual sex. We just tend to associate them with sex because they involve nudity and/or intimate physical contact, and we generally engage in them as we're having sex.

 

To me, oral and anal "sex" have nothing more to do with actual sex than hugging and kissing (although they're certainly more intimate and carry greater risks). I consider them all just acts of affection and leave it at that.

 

 

Hmm, interesting definition! Scenario: A woman has never had vaginal sexual intercourse but she had 10 partners in her life in which she has had oral sex, anal penetration etc etc. in various positions. I guess that means she never had sex????!!!

[PittItaliano]

You lose your virginity when you think you've lost it.

[melrich]

Sex is a catch-all,

 

sexual intercourse

oral sex

anal sex

 

is an apple food? yes it is.

is a steak food? yes it is.

 

fodd is a catch-all.

 

is intercourse sex? yes it is

is fellatio sex? yes it is

is mutual masturbation sex? yes it is

 

sex is a catch-all

 

does having sex mean you are no longer a virgin? not in my book. this is not a religious view, just a literal one. In my view losing your virginity is when a penis is entered into your vagina. That is, when you have sexual intercourse.

 

Others will take the view that any sort of sex results in loss of virginity. I do not think that is the classic interpretation.

 

Is it all semantics? yes up to a point. Clinton set sex ed in the US back 100 years. kids now hang their hat on oral equals no sex. how convenient.

[SquareWheel]

Well, Crazyaboutdogs, it may seem counterintuitive, but I'd say your hypothetical woman has never had sex, even if she's done oral and anal with oodles of partners. But even if she'd had vaginal intercourse only with condoms, I'd actually sort of wonder whether that should count. I think the direct contact is an important element.

 

Society's definition of sex has been widening in recent decades, after the sexual experimentation of the 1960s and 1970s, but my own definition is still pretty narrow. I'm a really literal thinker!

 

Anyway, as I see it, it doesn't matter how many partners she's had. I believe that intercourse is sex and everything else is "pseudo-sex".

 

Although, like I said before, the distinction is really philosophical hair splitting. If she's done so much else, whether she's techinically had sex or not, she's still not sexually innocent or naive any longer.

[annie24]

yeah, somehow, I can't imagine calling someone a virgin if they have had anal sex every day for the last 10 years of their life. that just sounds not quite right....

 

i think it is hair splitting, and ultimately, it's just a label that doesn't really matter one way or the other. if you have a new partner and they ask you if you are a virgin, I guess it is up to you what you respond and what you feel about yourself and what you feel they need to know. I guess if you really want to convey the truth, you could give them a list of what you have and haven't done and let your partner decide for him/herself.

[Daddy Bear]

Clinton set sex ed in the US back 100 years. kids now hang their hat on oral equals no sex. how convenient.

first of all, what he actually said was that he didn't have sexual relations with Monica, and he technically didn't.

 

second, he was impeached by the Republican-led House of Representatives, if i recall correctly. the message to the kids should be clear: kill as many thousands of innocent civilians as get in your way, but don't try to keep a blowjob from becoming public knowledge, even to spare your wife from a lifetime of humiliation. hooray for the righteous!

 

third, the idea that oral is somehow "not sex" was highly prevalent long before Clinton was elected, and this i know firsthand. what was truly "convenient" was that the right wing had a way of getting a president of the opposing party to look bad before the nation despite his 70% approval rating, a booming economy and the respect of virtually the entire world.