My Success Story

[Rob1000]

Hi all.

 

I was a frequent visitor to this forum about 6 months ago after my g/f broke up with me. I remember clearly that all I wanted to hear were some success stories from people who had successfully got back together with their ex partners. As this forum helped me so much during one of the worst times of my life (some of my worst moments are posted on here), I wanted to give something back and give those who are desperately in need some cause for optimism.

 

My g/f and I got back together in May after 2 months apart. It didn't come easily, but in the end the patience, the time apart and most importantly, the No Contact was what really brought us back together.

 

I took time out to re-discover the real me, the person my ex had fallen in love with back at the beginning. I read books (yes, relationship books), I became best friends with David DeAngelo and his eBook series!! I exercised like never before. I socialised. I took up the drums. I read page after page of threads on this forum. When all I was thinking about was her, I posted my thoughts, my regrets and even my tears while the wonderful, wonderful people on this forum helped me get through each day. At this point I must mention MajorD, Scruff and Enolaton. They may not remember me, but I sure fire remember those guys and their help and support.

 

When contact was re-established (I broke NC), I kept everything to a minimum. I never brought up the relationship. I was never bitter. Everything I said was said in a positive light because we can't help being drawn towards those with a positive nature. I never complained about anything, ever. I never made fun of anyone in front of her because only insecure people do that. I even teased her gently. Everything I did was done with a cool, confident smile.

 

But its important to state that how I was behaving wasn't an act. I wasn't trying to be somebody I wasn't just to impress her. As a result of our time apart and six weeks of strict no contact, I had actually become that same independent, interesting, confident and funny guy that she had initially fallen in love with 2 years earlier. I was me again without actually realising it. You may think that six weeks isn't a long time, but to me, it was an eternity.

 

It wasn't all easy though. I had to keep my burning love for her under wraps and let her come to me. But in the end she could see the true differences in me. I tried to add a little mystery. I didn't tell her everything I had been up to and gave her just a taste of what she had been missing! In the end she couldn't resist and asked me back within a couple of weeks.

 

It's now six months since we broke up and four since we were re-united. Our relationship has never been better. I know everybody's situation is different but sometimes there is hope. But there are no magic ways. You just have to look after yourself, because the more you do, the sooner you will move on.

 

There are always doubters who say that people break up for a reason, and you know what? They are absolutely right. Me and mine broke up for the best reason possible - so we could get back together and fall in love all over again!

 

I remember something I read on this forum and I kept saying it to myself. "If you're going through hell, keep going, it gets better."

 

I want to thank the guys and gals who helped me so much. I hope you all find the happiness that you deserve.

 

Love

 

Rob

[freelove]

Good going man! Always good to hear someone that's back together and happy!

 

I think the best thing you guys did was stay apart for a while. You never forced anything and allowed it to breathe.

 

I hope you guys have addresed your past issues and are working hard to give it 100%!!

 

I wish you all the best.

[Sinead]

Congrats Rob. I love hearing success stories. hopefully one day i will have my own. You have taught me a lot in what you said. I must get that book series thing that you got but i honestly feel it was all you that did it all. The book was probably a good guidance. Thank you for saying we all deserve to be happy because I couldnt agree more. This website is ultra popular and there are thousands if not more people who are so broken hearted. i hate to see people hurt because i feel the exact same and its a horrible feeling. I love the people for putting the forum together. Those talented web developers, programmers,etc. Because this forum is my life line and i was delighted when i finally got the internet at home a week ago. First site I logged onto was this.

 

Anyhow Rob enjoy your relationship and I hope everything works out well for you. i feel you have passed some of your good energy luck onto this forum.

 

That was a fantastic thread.

[NJRon]

Glad to hear you are having a positive experience and are applying what you learned to your new relationship with your ex-gf. I hope that you have been able to deal with the issues that lead to your original breakup and it continues to prosper.

[majord23]

I sure fire remember you too mate (was wondering how it all turned out!).

 

That's great news Rob and thanks so much for coming back to let us know!

 

I'm sure this thread will provide lots of people here with some inspiration - well done again pal

[hjc]

What a great story. I am sooo pleased for you. And really pleased you came back here to tell us all your news.

 

Has made me smile a lot and inspired me....

[blueberrypie]

Congratulations Rob!

just one small question. What made you break NC? three months passed after my breakup, but I still miss him to much that I'm not sure if I could be cool with him.

[Rob1000]

Congratulations Rob!

just one small question. What made you break NC? three months passed after my breakup, but I still miss him to much that I'm not sure if I could be cool with him.

hi bbpie. I always knew I was gonna break NC. I was just waiting for the right time. One morning I woke up and just sent an innocent hello text message. A few days later, she then text me and it all started from there.

[enolaton]

You know it's funny... I was browsing through some old threads the other day, and I actually said to myself "I wonder what ever happened to Rob...".

 

Like everyone else here, I'm really happy to hear this good news and that in some way, all our advice had a positive effect.

 

JUST ANOTHER EXAMPLE FOR ALL THOSE WHO ARE SKEPTICAL.... NC IS THE BEST PATH!

 

Thanks for coming back and sharing this news with us. Good luck with everything dude.

 

Be good.

[Sinead]

Hear hear! God I love this place.

 

*says the Irish gal who is still logged on till nearly 5 am Irish time!* not tired,

[Rob1000]

You know it's funny... I was browsing through some old threads the other day, and I actually said to myself "I wonder what ever happened to Rob...".

 

Like everyone else here, I'm really happy to hear this good news and that in some way, all our advice had a positive effect.

 

JUST ANOTHER EXAMPLE FOR ALL THOSE WHO ARE SKEPTICAL.... NC IS THE BEST PATH!

 

Thanks for coming back and sharing this news with us. Good luck with everything dude.

 

Be good.

Hey enol,

 

I had tought many times about posting my story but somehow thought that it would sound conceited, particularly as I know just how painful it all can be for many on these boards. But I learnt so many things while going through my break up and even though I'm almost 32, it probably made me grow up. So I thought maybe I could share some of the things I learnt with others who really want their exes back.

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

When we started aging we would think about our future properly.

[Scout]

Rob, great story. I love how you emphasize that through NC, you were able to rediscover yourself and your interests, and how that played such an important part in your reconcilation with the girlfriend.

 

One area that NJRon brought up, and I'm kind of curious about...do you recommend at some point, though, talking about what led to the relationship's original problems and subsequent break up? Or do you sort of let the conversation happen naturally over time as you ease back into the relationship with each other?

 

What are your thoughts on that?

[BONO]

Or do you sort of let the conversation happen naturally over time as you ease back into the relationship with each other?

 

 

 

I tend to agree with this approach because you're are having fun with each other, there is no pressure or relationship talk and naturally attraction comes back. The more time you spend and have fun the more indirect pressure there is to get back together.

 

Yet, at some point the *talk* so to speak, has to come up. Remaining aloof ( if you are the dumpee ) is a massive positive. Why ? Because you have been dumped and as such the dumper has not a foot to stand on, as they let you go.

 

Now, as long as you are having a good time and *officially* not back you can do what you like. If the dumper gets annoyed, you can easily say your not together !!!!!!

 

Then perhaps the talk might happen. If so, you drop the line " Do the reasons why we split ( or you split with me ) still apply !!??!!"

 

 

From there off you go

 

 

 

 

Scruff

[Rob1000]

Rob, great story. I love how you emphasize that through NC, you were able to rediscover yourself and your interests, and how that played such an important part in your reconcilation with the girlfriend.

 

One area that NJRon brought up, and I'm kind of curious about...do you recommend at some point, though, talking about what led to the relationship's original problems and subsequent break up? Or do you sort of let the conversation happen naturally over time as you ease back into the relationship with each other?

 

What are your thoughts on that?

Thanks Scout. I definitely think initiating NC from the very beginning was a huge help in getting her back. I walked away, so to speak. I kept telling myself during the period of NC that I was giving us the best possible chance of making it. I had to encourage myself that what I was doing was a very positive thing even though it was killing me inside. The period of NC also added that bit of mystery when we did start hanging out again.

 

As for 'the talk', I agree with Scruff, we mostly let it happen naturally. But there were several times when we spoke in depth about what happened and how we could do better this time around. The one piece of advise I can give is to keep it any talks light hearted and speak of the negative aspects in a constructive manner, if you get me? Remember, at the start of a relationship there is no water under the bridge, no negatives, just fun and laughter, so it is important speak of everything in a positive way.

 

The one most important thing I learnt is this. Nobody likes a negative person. Nobody likes a dullard who always complains about the smallest things. A positive outlook on life and an upbeat nature are such attractive qualities and can win over anyone. Think of the most popular person in your school, college or work place and I bet they are someone who knows just how to smile and laugh. This, I believe, was the secret to my success!!!

[BONO]

One of the most positive, constructive and insightive, posts you have written.

 

 

Good work

 

 

 

Scuff

[Rob1000]

One of the most positive, constructive and insightive, posts you have written.

 

 

Good work

 

 

 

Scuff

Thanks scruff.

[MyTeddyBear]

That's great! Wow...