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NJRon

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NJRon last won the day on September 18 2006

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About NJRon

  • Birthday 10/17/1970

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  1. Unless they are asking for your advice, it's really none of your business... let them work it out.
  2. I suggest listening to the doctor and following through for the time being. Anti-depressants are long acting medications. They are not like valium... take a pill and be happy. You need to take them for a while and then monitor usage and then modify dosage and, sometimes, change the drug entirely. Don't be impatient with the process. It sounds like things are actually going well for you, but you are just upset that they aren't perfect already. If you want to be in this, you got to be in this all the way. Give it time. As for your own feelings ... I still recommend a therapist/counsellor for you... but I know what you'll say
  3. Why would you take back an apology. Apologies are to get over something. If you take it back, then you are just opening it up again in order to lash out. Better to try and drop it entirely. If she does the same thing again, and it is so offensive, then I would suggest distancing yourself. As it is, it doesn't sound like she really gets why she is hurting you and only cares about how she feels. You get over it by not caring what she thinks.
  4. I am just stunned that it takes 1 1/2 to 2 years to see a gynecologist. It amazes me. If you can get a green card you can visit planned parenthood in the US (though I suspect they wouldn't be able to assist much with your particular issue).
  5. Hey Dark Cloud. When I was 15 I had a similar thing happen to me. A girl I had an extreme crush on, and who I felt liked me a lot also, ended up rejecting my advance when I was 15. It was my first "love" and I took it pretty hard. I attempted suicide, though half-heartedly. I don't think I really wanted to die, so much as punish myself and, in some twisted way, maybe her. I came to a critical point where I could have, and just decided not to continue. To this day I have a scar that reminds me of how close I came to throwing everything away. All the joys I have had in the last 20 years of my life... all the positive growth I have achieved by overcoming hardships placed in my path... I wouldn't have had the opportunity to experience any of them. You have an opportunity to look at your life in two ways. Either as the victim, or the victor. You can re-write your personal story from a new viewpoint at any time. You can look at the strengths and positive qualities your successful struggles bring you through this dark time. You can envision a positive future and continue to move toward it. You are doing many of the things that will be the foundation for a bright future. Continue down trhat path and look to yourself for inspiration. people who deride you are merely projecting their own insecurities onto you because they choose not to face their own failings. Don't let them drag you down into their broken thinking. This is a great forum for venting feelings without exposing yourself to those that you feel may take advantage of it. It is also a place to post poetry in the poetry section. I wouldn't continue to try and make other people understand how you feel when they don't have the capability. I don't tend to listen to people that tell me to do things that I know are harmful. That extends to more than just physical harm. I do my best to make sure I don't listen to those that intend me emotional harm either. I don't feel they are worth the consideration. Best wishes...
  6. I've always been of the mind taht a guy either wants a relationship with you or not. Witholding sex merely weeds out the guys that don't want a relationship so badly with you. You are likely to get more sex by sleeping with people earlier and have just as many relationships. It's more perception. So, it's not necessarily that the guy thinks you are easy and so decides not to have a relationship with you, but more likely that he never wanted one in the first place. If you are considering someone for long term, I would hold back a bit since you would want to make sure they are of like mind before your feelings get involved.
  7. Sounds to me that she is searching for a reason to give you closure when, the simple fact is, she doesn't "feel it". Don't read too much into it. She just doesn't feel it. It happens. No offense and I'm sure not a poor reflection on you.
  8. While I'm not in Canada, those are perfect questions to bring up in an informational interview. Try to find contacts in the industry and set up "informational interviews"... where you are asking people for advice as opposed to a job. It's a great way to get answers to your questions and network at the same time.
  9. Yeah, I can understand how, after this time, seeing her move on so much, it could be hard to take. I think it best to just close the chapter on this one entirely, for your sake. Hang in there...
  10. I find it kind of sad that she met someone so soon and got married and already has a child... all in just over a year. Makes me wonder why she was so desperate and that she was looking for a "family" and not a person. Everything from the way she broke up with you to moving into a marriage so shortly after breaking it off does not point to a healthy view of relationships. I think she did you a favor.
  11. Yeah, learning is all you can really do. Sometimes painful things need to happen in order to allow yourself the opportunity for something better. Hopefully you wll find someone that doesn't cause you insecurity and arguments... I'm sure he will miss you... people always miss those that were significant in their lives. But, missing each other is not a good reason to be together. Best wishes...
  12. You said in the beginning of the post that you don't make a good couple and that neither of you were happy. So, there really is no point in getting back together. I know it's painful, but sometimes it's better just to let go and move on. You will know it's time that you can start talking to him again when you don't care whether he is seeing other people or not. As for your stuff, maybe a friend of his can drop it off to you. Hang in there...
  13. I would only hope it's a recessive trait... otherwise humanity is doomed...
  14. I imagine it has less to do with her "liking you" and more to do with her own insecurities in general. Whether it is getting jealous of the women you are with or pointing you out to guys she's with (to either see that you notice her with other guys, or to show them that she has been with someone else). I would totally chalk it up to her lack of self-esteem and not read anything into it.
  15. From my understanding though, you only dated a few times. You have been broken up far longer than you were together. It doesn't seem like could really know her enough to know how compatible you two were... you seem to be infatuated with an image of her in your head that does not reflect reality. If you two were compatible, she wouldn't have just broken up with you over such a thing. One thing I want in a love and a partner is someone who will stick around.
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