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blueberrypie

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Everything posted by blueberrypie

  1. blueberrypie
    Okay, you are not even my "ex," since we were never even in a "committed" relationship. But I still miss you, and I wonder how your days are going. I hope that you are doing well, but I also hope that you realize that how much I meant to you, even though you didn't realize it at the time. But, your therapist will probably tell you that you should let it go.
  2. blueberrypie
    20 months after the breakup. I still miss you. It doesn't hurt like it did right after the breakup. I even sometimes feel happy without you. But I still feel the ache if I go to the dances. That's why I stopped going. Not because what we did together didn't mean much to me as you suggested, but because it means too much for me. And honestly, as much as I want to see you, I am afraid of running into you if I go to those events we used to go together. Although I wish you to be happy, I am afraid that seeing you happy without me will break my heart all over again. But honestly, I would do anything to get you back... Still.....
  3. blueberrypie
    After 3 1/2 months, I still miss you, and love you as much, if not more. I can't believe that I still love you as much. I thought that after 3 1/2 months, the memory will fade away. But it is becoming more clear, if anything... I miss you. I want to call you and say that I still love you, but I am still so afraid of rejection and getting my heart broken all over again.. so I am just writing it here. I can't believe that you are still going to the event we went together, and have a breakfast party we threw together. But I guess, it is your life, and you can't stop living your life because you broke up with me. I hope that you won't be with anyone else at this event. Not yet. But.. I need to let you go...
  4. blueberrypie
    Not really a success story, but shows that you never know what the future holds. When I was going through hard time with the breakup, I asked one of my friends if she was ever married before. And she said that she was close once, and told me about this guy. Basically they dated few years, she wanted to marry him, but he was not sure. So he broke up with her. It took few years for my friend to get over him, because in her mind, he was the right person for her. 15 years after the breakup, he called her and told her that breaking up with her was the biggest mistake in his life, and asked her to marry him. By that time (yea, it's been 15 years), she was already over him, so she told him that he was 10 years too late. So... they didn't get back together, but it shows that people can come back even after a long time, and doesn't necessarily test water... I also found the book titled "My boyfriend's back" written by Donna Hanover, which has a lot of reconciliation stories..
  5. blueberrypie
    When I broke up with my first boyfriend, I had a lot of other options. But I still wanted to get back together with my ex, and I crawled back to him. If anything, it made it worse that all the other men wanted to be with me when the only guy I wanted to be with didn't want to be with me... If the merit of attractiveness is having other options, I don't think that being attractiveness reduces the possibility of getting back together. Just my 2 cents.
  6. blueberrypie
    I still miss you. I want to believe that this is not the end of us, just a break for both of us to grow, so that we can have a better life together...
  7. blueberrypie
    I like this.
  8. blueberrypie
    Do you mean that if tw people are right for each other they will overcome by sticking with each other, or even after split they will get back together?
  9. blueberrypie
    I know I should move on. But this story gives me hope in a sense that you never know what the future holds. Thank you for posting this story, Calblee!
  10. blueberrypie
    I still love you... I want this pain to end...
  11. blueberrypie
    Day 16 It doesn't seem to get easier not to call him. I almost called him today. I dialed my friend's phone and then just stopped. I am still here. I still believe in 'us'. ... come back...
  12. blueberrypie
    Agonizing: I know how you feel...what I am thinking...
  13. blueberrypie
    Day 15 Still miss him deeply. Just want to send him a love letter. Just want to hit ctrl+Z.. Only if the life is that simple... I feel crazy, because one moment I want to send him a love letter, and the next minute, I just want to get over with it and just starting to date. I was looking at the speed-dating website. I know it is too soon, but I want this pain to go away... What would be harm in looking around when he is not coming back anyways?
  14. blueberrypie
    Day 14 I still want to call him and just talk to him...
  15. blueberrypie
    once I was walking down a street with my good guy friend, and he said "it's amazing that how people with no academic background can keep conversation going." I couldn't stand one more second with him! so I guess....elitism?
  16. blueberrypie
    thank you all for the reply. Just to clarify things, the massge thing didn't come out of blue. People talked about it first, and he gives massage to people pretty often(mostly to women who are already in a serious relationship). I must agree with Batya on that I'm not myself when I'm smitten. But the people we are hanging out with are pretty touchy, so I would have asked a guy to give me a massage if I wasn't interested in him because I wouldn't have worried about sending an obvious signal, and that's why I asked him to give me massage. Because I thought that it would be weird if I didn't. caro33: I've known him for 7 months for now. We've seen each other almost every week with lots of other people. But now we are going to see each other once a week just two of us(more business kind of meeting), and once a week with lots of other people. ghost69: you are joking, right?
  17. blueberrypie
    I'm becoming friends with a guy I have crush on. He came to my birthday party last week and I was too excited about it that I ended up acting like I was his girlfriend.(for example: He was leaving early but our mutual friends didn't let him go--they took his keys away from him, they said he had to give me massage before he left--he had to promise to come back to leave the party. Later when he came back I asked for massage. He was drawing one of the guy and I asked him to draw me.) Now I'm worried that it might have turned him off. He did everything I asked, but it's just him. I don't think he is capable of saying 'no' to a girl. But part of me wanted him to know that I'm interested in him more than as a friend. Should I stop doing it and just wait till he makes his move, or should I keep expressing my feelings to him? I want him to know my feeling, but I don't want to scare him off by showing my feeling too fast either.
  18. blueberrypie
    I totally agree with shikashika. I don't see anything going on based on your story. But you are really interested in her, see how she treats other guys, and if there's really something different about how she treats you from how she treats them. Good luck!
  19. blueberrypie
    Thanks BeStrongBeHappy! You are right! If I keep him as a friend, I would secretly hope that he will straighten up and be someone I can trust and wants me. And he is not a good friend. He hurt me so much already. I wanted to tell him that he didn't deserve my friendship, but I'm not sure saying that is a good idea. What do you think? Maybe saying that is also an excuse to contact him again? Or do I want to say it to hurt him? Here's one problem about kicking him out of my life. We have mutual friends. Actually, it's more that I'm close to his ex-roommates. After our breakup, he left the town but his friends and I remained here. We have kept hanging out now and then. They even asked me to spend spring break with them--my ex can't do it anyways because he's working now, hence no spring break. But, it was when they thought they didn't know we broke up again. Should I tell them that I don't want my ex completely out of my life, but I still want to be friends with them, or what? We were friends even when my ex and I were broken, so I don't think their being friends with me is not based on my relationship with my ex. But, wouldn't it be awkward for them to be friends with me when I don't talk with my ex anymore(although I was broken up, I was still in a friendly term with my ex till now)? Or I should just tell them the situation and let them choose?
  20. blueberrypie
    Exactly what I need to hear now. Thanks FCTex!
  21. blueberrypie
    Hey enotaloners, Here I am again. I'm the person who was dumped by her bf in the end of May he had to go abroad. I went to LC/NC with him for few months and was doing well. We began to talk again few months ago and one thing led to another and we talked about getting back together since few weeks ago. He finally came back to the states and we met again. But we didn't feel the same. I was still deeply in love with him so I wanted to make it work. He agreed that he wanted to try again. I trusted him and we slept together that night--I should add stupidly. Right after the physical intimacy, he said that he didn't want to be in a relationship, that he felt uncomfortable that he felt so comfortable with me. After an hour of me trying to talk him into it again, right at the moment I was about to give up, he decided that he wanted to be in. So we decided to try it again. This was right before Christmas. Few days after that he began to say that he doesn't want to be in a relationship, and he doesn't want to date anyone right now. I tried to convince him that it's gonna work, but you know, one can only convince someone else so much. Anyways, I get so tired of trying to convince him and decided to let him go. The problem is that he wants to be friends with me, but I don't want that. I have enough of him. I don't want to be manipulated by him any more. Losing him completely from my life will hurt me. But staying friends with him will keep me as a emotional hostage of him. In my head, I know that it's best to let him completely out of my life. But in my heart, I'm afraid that I might miss him so much and regret that I didn't keep him as a friend. Advice, please? =)
  22. blueberrypie
    I think it depends on why you broke up in the first place. Some people break up with their S/Os because they felt like the other person doesn't care for them any more.
  23. blueberrypie
    I hear you there. I asked that same question thousands times. I have that phrase "if you want something..." in my quotes. I simply couldn't let go of the thought of him coming back togehter. And suddenly it occurred to me that I shouldn't "worry" about that possibility. If I'm still in love with ex and want to get back together with him even though I'm with another person, I can choose that when it actually happens. If I truly moved on and don't want to get back together with him, I choose so. So really, nothing to worry about. If you have someone else in your mind now, go for it. Don't worry about the chance that your ex might come back when you just begin to fall in love with your new gf.
  24. blueberrypie
    Thank you both. robowarrior: we figured out that the problem was that I wanted it to be a more serious relationship and he didn't want to admit that it was a serious relationship(this is his word. Since he was only 21 at the time, he probably didn't want to be in a serious relationship. ). Now he says that he's gonna take it seriously if we get back together. There are some other issues which still need to be solved, but it's not the problem which broke us apart. I like the gondala analogy, what I'm worried is I'll be all over him (and he'll be all over me) once we are in person. I agree that we need to take it slow, but how do you take it slow, when you've been known him one and a half year and dated him 10 months and realized that we love each other very much. Scotcha: As I wrote above, his going out of the country for six months was not the only reason but probably the big reason, because we might not have broken up even with that different perception of the relationship if he hadn't gone abroad. I thought 10 months was long enough period for one person to measure the depth of the relationship, but maybe it came from my age. Your explanation makes a sense. I was going to appreciate what you wrote, then I like everything you wrote. It actually made me calm. Thanks again!
  25. blueberrypie
    for the quick recap, my bf of 10 months broke up with me about 6 months ago right before he was going abroad for 6 months. We've been talking for almost 2 months for now and considering getting back together when he comes back next week. Nothing's written on stone yet, but we are gonna see each other next weekend and see how it goes although we think we'll probably get back together. Now I have two concerns. 1) I got hurt badly last time he left me. Although he tries to convince me it's not gonna happen again, I can't stop worrying about that possibility. I really don't want to think about breakup before we even get back together. Is there any good way I can let go of this fear? 2) As our meeting comes closer, I can't stop dreaming about how it is going to be. I can't focus on anything else. I know that I shouldn't have too much hope on the meeting and shouldn't be obsessed with the relationship, but I can't stop doing it. Please say something which can make me stop from doing this! thank you in advance.
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