How do men feel about a size 14 woman?

[annie24]

size 14 can look different on lots of different women, depending on how they carry their weight.

 

my bellydance teacher asks us every semester, "what is the most appealing aspect of the female body to the male eye?"

 

people guess breasts, legs.... no.... all wrong.

 

Waist to hip ratio! Small waist with large hips, is biologically ingrained as the most sensual aspect of a woman. (hips should be at least a third larger than the waist). Woman with big hips can push out healthy babies, at least, that is what men percieve. "child bearing hips" as the saying goes.

 

Which is why bellydancers are always wearing all sorts of layers and jingly things on our waists, and bare stomachs. And many of our moves serve to accenuate the size of the hips - to make them look larger than they really are.

[AwdreeHpburn]

well after 3 babies and a mother who passed down very unflattering genetics, unfortunately for me my hip to waist ratio is where I carry my fat.

 

I feel like obtaining an eating disorder....

[itsallgrand]

I saw a National Geographic show about that! waist to hip ratio.

 

I have boyish hips, but still manage to attract men. I definetly think there is something to the waist to hip ratio: but I also think men are not nearly as discriminate nor picky as us women sometimes think.

[melrich]

but I also think men are not nearly as discriminate nor picky as us women sometimes think.

 

I think that is very true. My partner always says women dress for other women.

 

I don't know how true that is.

[AwdreeHpburn]

I think that is very true. My partner always says women dress for other women.

 

I don't know how true that is.

 

 

I think its very true. I really feel like women are much harder on themselves and on other women than men ever are.

 

Of course I notice what my husband looks at, but I feel much more scrutinized by other women and myself than I ever do from my husband.

[melrich]

but I feel much more scrutinized by other women and myself than I ever do from my husband.

 

Yeah, that's what she says. My partner has flawless honey/gold skin, piercing green eyes, wavy blonde hair that naturally falls "just right". To me I far prefer her without make up than with make up and she knows that.

 

So on any given Sunday I say "let's go for brekky". She says "I'll put my face on"....that takes half an hour!!..."Can't you go naked?"...her..."No way, Katie/Jane/Liz/Sally might be there!!"

[AwdreeHpburn]

My partner has flawless honey/gold skin, piercing green eyes, wavy blonde hair that naturally falls "just right".

 

 

I hate her.

 

 

j/k

[itsallgrand]

LOL. That was classic.

[melrich]

I hate her.

 

Me too!.............

[FCTex]

I think my ex looked fine at 12.

 

I thought she looked fantastic, only because she felt good at 6..

 

At 0-2 she feels great now, after being over her disorder. She looks fantastic, works out. Has a stunning body..

 

However, it's not the ideal body for alot of people.

 

She might be 5'5 and 120lbs

 

My current girlfriend is 5'1 and is 100 lbs. She's a 2, and I think she's great looking as well..

 

I don't think a number makes a hoot of a difference. It's hot you make yourself appear.

[CarnelianButterfly]

All I can say is I'd like to see a size 0 chicky heft a bail of hay, which most likely weighs as much as she does. I'd like to see a lot of those so called "ideal" women do half of what I do on my days off. I'm guessing they'd either have a heat stroke or quit because it was too hard.

[coollady1957]

We at least have had three brave guys come and speak their piece on this.

 

My family genetics gave me a larger bone structure than some, so I am certainly not the petite one. The breast, waist , hip ratio is certainly not perfect , but it is not that bad either.

 

After having two babies, I do carry some lower body weight , but it is not anything to an extreme that would gross anyone out I don't think. I am healthy with no significant health issues other than having had a "just over the borderline " from normal cholesterol level. If I became more active and watched my eating a bit better, I could probably control that much better.

 

I guess I would say that I personally am an OK size for the most part , with some room for improvement.

[yeawutever]

I don't think a number makes a hoot of a difference. It's hot you make yourself appear.

 

Yea, agree on that one. The media should stop it with the ads, way too much pressure.

[shes2smart]

There are lots of threads here by 20something girls that count calories to a ridiculous degree.

 

Yup. Seen 'em. Worse than that, was one of 'em when I was that age.

 

Dieted m'self right into an eating disorder and a larger size and heavier weight than if I had never dieted at all.

 

I know what is very likely to be in store for them if they continue that path, and it's not pretty, fun, healthy or sane.

 

I also know what it is to be that age and not ready to hear that what I'm doing isn't going to get me where I want to be, and what I've been led to believe is true is, in fact, just a way to get me to part with my money.

 

And we won't even get into the political/social ramifications of making sure otherwise bright young women are pressured into putting their time, effort, and attention into maintaining a certain appearance.

 

There was a Twilight Zone epsiode where a young woman was out riding a horse one day and had the daylights scared out of her by an older woman riding a horse and yelling at her. The young woman turned her horse back toward the barn and rode away quickly with the older woman chasing her, screaming. The older woman eventually gives up the chase. Toward the end of the epsiode, the viewer finds out that the older woman riding like a bat out of hell and screaming at the younger woman is that younger woman 20 years down the road. Her older self is trying, in vain, to warn her younger self about some bad decisions (I believe it was marrying a man she didn't love).

 

When it comes to this topic, I find myself feelin' like that older woman in that Twilight Zone episode more often than not....

[FCTex]

I don't know.

 

My girlfriend is a ER nurse, and she lifts heavy people onto beds, and moves them around.. However, she still has trouble opening the jelly jar still.

 

My ex, wouldn't be caught dead in anything hay.. Only if it's designer hay. (Okay, so now where's the sarcasm button here.... )

[FCTex]

Would I be a woman if I counted calories?

 

I'm on a see-food diet. I see food and eat it, and I count the calories in pizza and beer.

[Anna.]

Well, I feel better after reading all the posts here. Yeah, I guess women are alot harder on themselves than men are. Sometimes I catch my boyfriend looking at me lustfully and I am shocked cause I am like what he heck do you see that I don't? I'm a little insecure I guess cause like I said I'm 5'9 1/2 and a size 14 (about 190 lbs), and he's 5'7 and 170 lbs. But the crazy thing is that he swears he loves me the way I am (mind you, he's never seen me without clothes on) but he watches his weight worse than I do and he hates his (non-existant) stomach. So I don't understand how he can be so weight conscious about himself but not about me. His waist is alot smaller than mine!

[Dako]

I really think men aren't that critical of weight. Sure, morbid obesity is a turn-off, but a little curve on a pretty woman can be endearing.

[annie24]

I really think men aren't that critical of weight. Sure, morbid obesity is a turn-off, but a little curve on a pretty woman can be endearing.

 

ha! I beg to differ, some men are very critical.

[Anna.]

One more question: how do men really feel about a woman with a belly and/or stretch marks?

[shes2smart]

So I don't understand how he can be so weight conscious about himself but not about me. His waist is alot smaller than mine!

 

Y'know all that pressure you feel because you're larger than the cultural "ideal?"

 

Guess what, the guys are starting to get that pressure, too. All the companies that sell weight loss products/programs/drugs and exercise equipment/gym memberships, etc. figured out there was a whole market they hadn't exploited yet -- MEN!

 

They've been taking women's money for years.

 

Lest you think this the just the ranting of a crazy old broad, lemme tell ya this. I see a registered dietician who specializes in a non-diet approach to eating and working with eating disorder patients. I fell off the recovery wagon for the first time in about 20 years in the last year or so.

 

Anyway, my dietician was used to working with a nearly 100% female clientele....until about 5-7 years ago....when she started seeing more young men seeking her out for therapy. After working with the increasing number of men with eating issues, she realized that the culture was putting pressure on them to look a certain way as well.

 

And they have started to respond in a very similar way to that pressure that the women have -- by developing body image issues, body hatred, and a messed up relationship with food and eating.

[melrich]

ha! I beg to differ, some men are very critical.

 

I don't know Annie. Not of weight per se. Shape I think definitely. But seriously some of the greatest critics are again, women of other women.

 

I think perhaps men set the agenda and women enforce it.

[yeawutever]

One more question: how do men really feel about a woman with a belly and/or stretch marks?

 

Oh yea, missed that one. I'm one of them on your description, but I'm guessing that wouldn't be much of a total turn-off or would it be??

[annie24]

I don't know Annie. Not of weight per se. Shape I think definitely. But seriously some of the greatest critics are again, women of other women.

 

I think perhaps men set the agenda and women enforce it.

 

oh, I've definitely had guys I've dated tell me to lose weight.

 

and I had a friend who was a size 0, and her boyfriend was telling her she had some "FUPA" and needed to go to the gym more often! FUPA = Fat Upper ***** Area.

 

yeah!

 

and some guys don't care at all. but I've definitely met guys who wouldn't look at me when I was bigger, but suddenly started paying attention when I lost weight.

 

Like one guy, I had a minor crush on in college, but he never noticed me. I lost 35 pounds, and one day on campus, he just walked up to me and was like, "hey - didn't we used to have a class together?" I said yes, and we chatted and he gave me his number. the second we said bye, I threw it away. (he was kind of sleazy when we chatted.)

[CarnelianButterfly]

You know what ticks me off, fat men, like morbidly obese fat men, saying a perfectly normal woman is fat or has poor weight distribution or criticizing someone else's weight.

 

I say this because I get to hear this crap from my dad every day (How does a man who is repulsive as him say Heidi Klum has ugly legs?)