How do men feel about a size 14 woman?

[midman4]

OK ladies, I'll chime in. I actually prefer women to be at LEAST a size 12. Size 14 is even better. Beyond that it's a matter of what she feels is healthy for her. I am crazy about Queen Latifa, and I have no clue what her size is. And Kate Winslet when she was in Titanic.

 

Guys like all different kinds of body types, it's true. My advice for you ladies is to get to a weight YOU are happy with, and then live your life! Who cares what's on TV!

-Randy

[midnightrambler]

don't forget Oprah...yum

[sarey]

I'm a size 10-12. But I'm 5''4.

 

I feel like obtaining an eating disorder....

 

No you don't.

[Lowconfidence]

This is a very old thread brought back to life. But I'll chime in my thoughts.

 

Depending where you live, size 14 can be huge or average.

 

Personally, I don't think a size 14 woman is very healthy. But again, it depends on height and where you live and the criterias of a size 14.

 

IMHO there is just too much size acceptance and love your own body, blah blah blah. There is an obesity problem not just in North America, but it's spreading accross the globe.

 

Seriously, size 14 is too big. We are all getting older. We have to take care of our weight now before it gets out of control. The metabolism slows down as we age. If you are a size 14 in your 20s what size do you think you'll be in your 40s? It's harder to keep in shape as you age.

 

I think it's a bloody shame where there's not enough promotion of healthy lifestyles. Yeah a person can be fat and fit, but it's better to be average and fit.

[sarey]

TBH, size 14 is actually a healthy size and the normal size for a woman, isn't it?

 

I'm in the UK though, not America, which I think the average weight is 140-150 lbs or something like that?

[MollyElise]

So lowconfidence how do you define 'healthy'

 

I am obese, I'm comfortable with my body and do not think I am unhealthy. I can jog (slowly) a mile, my cholestrol, blood pressure and heart rate are all exceptional.

 

What I do think is unhealthy is allowing yourself to be depressed and upset over your weight regardless of your achievements in other areas. Take Oprah for example she thinks she's a failure and is depressed because she gained weight back that she lost on a diet, something that 95% of people do. So because she was normal, regardless of her extreme achievements in all other areas and countless lives she's helped she looks in the mirror and sees a failure. That is unhealthy.

[MollyElise]

Medical professionals have been saying for the past 50 years, if you have extra fat, eat less and exercise more. There is scientific data to back it up, it makes sense!

 

BUT, for the past 50 years people have been trying to keep a moderate percentage of fat on their bodies by controlling their diet and exercise, yet society as a whole getting fatter every year.

 

I don't understand it at all, but I think we need to stop, step back and look not at our theories on how things should work, but how they actually work. The more we push dieting and exercise and low body fat percentages the more weight people gain. I don't understand the relationship but 95% of the time when someone controls their calories and purposefully push their body to burn more fuel than is normal the result is that they gain fat/weight.

[Lowconfidence]

Molly, there's a few questions I have to ask you.

 

You say you are obese, but what is your height and weight?

 

To me, what is unhealthy if the fact society is accepting that it's okay to be large. No, it isn't.

 

You are 29. If you keep your present weight, what impact do you think it will have on your knees and back? No one stays young forever. The excess weight is a burden for seniors. Have you seen obese seniors? They can barely walk with all that mass and frail bones.

 

I don't mind using myself as an example. The heaviest I ever weighed was 235lbs at 5'9. I wore a size 36 waist. Even at that weight I was still stronger and fitter than a lot of guys who had abs and were ripped. My cardio was incredible and my strength was well above average than any male my age. But there's no need to be that big for me. What's the point? It was only going to be harder on my body as I age.

 

At the moment I'm around 195lbs with a size 32 waist. Ideally I should weigh 170lbs. Hey, I can bench 100lbs above my bodyweight, do over 20 chipups in a row, and my cardio is still above average than males who are in their 20s. But the fact is I dont' need that extras mass. It's useless and it only gets harder as you get older.

[sarey]

Women need hips though. Men are different to women with regards to weight, muscle mass, fat and such.

[MollyElise]

I'm 5'3" and weigh 200 pounds, definitely considered obese by the AMA.

 

"To me, what is unhealthy if the fact society is accepting that it's okay to be large. No, it isn't."

 

I disagree, I think it's okay to be whatever size you want to be, I think if you are 500 pounds and happy with that, it is OK, I think it is wrong of society to judge what is and isn't ok.

 

"If you keep your present weight, what impact do you think it will have on your knees and back? No one stays young forever. The excess weight is a burden for seniors. Have you seen obese seniors? They can barely walk with all that mass and frail bones."

 

I don't think I will have any more complications with my knees and back than if I was smaller. As long as I keep active my body should be fine carrying myself. Actually, when I was focused on being thin my main exercise was running, talk about damage to your knees and back. I doubt you are encouraging people to stop running and walk because of the damage they are doing to their knees. Being heavier inherently strengthens my bones, reducing my chance of osteoporosis as I get older, have you seen little old ladies with hunched backs that can hardly walk? As you get older your body stops working as well, it gets worn out, regardless of what it goes through, whether your skinny or fat.

 

I would rather go through my life feeling comfortable and happy at whatever size I am than spend a good portion of my life limiting, counting and controlling what I eat and exercise so that I am 'OK'. I'm OK whether I'm a size 2 or a size 20, I'm still the same person, still have the same issues, still have the same strengths the only thing different is how much space I am taking up.

[stranded247]

I really think you have to acknowledge the health implications here, you may be happy at this weight, although most people wouldn't be-its good you can be happy, BUT when you're obese you are really risking the following diseases ( and there is a high risk too):

heart disease

cancer

diabetes

osteoarthritis

sleep apnoea

gout

gallbladder disease

premature death

fatty liver disease

chronic venous insufficiency

and many more, especially childbirth: 'Obesity has a strong detrimental effect on the health of both mother and new-born baby, both during and after pregnancy. Obesity while pregnant is associated with a higher risk of death in both the baby and the mother. It also raises the risk of high blood pressure in the Mom, by 10 times. Obesity during pregnancy is also associated with an increased risk of birth defects, such as spina bifida. Obesity-related health problems occurring after childbirth include higher risk of wound and endometrial infection, endometritis and urinary tract infection.'

 

C'mon who wants to be risking so much of their health? are you seriously not worried at all?

[MollyElise]

I guess I'm a daredevil.. I'm reading that list and understand the implications that you are listing. I guess I'm not afraid of getting sick and dying, I know it will happen eventually. When it's my time it's my time, in the mean time I'm going to live the way that makes me happy and dieting and worrying about my weight wouldn't make me happy. I also don't think that dieting and worrying about my weight would necessarily net health results.

 

America has been dieting and obsessing about their weight as a whole for over 20 years and what have we accomplished? We are heavier as a whole and less healthy!

 

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results" -Einstein

[JeckyllNHyde]

MollyElise,

My bf is/was obese. I think now he maybe looks less of it since he is tall. But he definitly was on the obese side. Even he admits his doctor told him due to his weight alot of pressure is put on his knees for instance. Which was a plus since he has extremely strong legs now haha. At the same time he has been trying to lose it b/c he's aware weight can bring health issues. I'm not saying you need to get down to a size 10 (UK I mean) or anything of that sort, but if you can lose some weight in a healthy way by changing any bad eating/excersize habits, definitly try it.

 

I think my bf is one of the rare few who is overweight and has no cholesterol or high blood pressure. It scares me b/c I wonder for how long he'll be lucky (he doesn't have a high fat/unhealthy diet though).

[JadedStar]

I guess I'm a daredevil.. I'm reading that list and understand the implications that you are listing. I guess I'm not afraid of getting sick and dying, I know it will happen eventually. When it's my time it's my time, in the mean time I'm going to live the way that makes me happy and dieting and worrying about my weight wouldn't make me happy. I also don't think that dieting and worrying about my weight would necessarily net health results.

America has been dieting and obsessing about their weight as a whole for over 20 years and what have we accomplished? We are heavier as a whole and less healthy!

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results" -Einstein

 

That is because Americans want the "i want it now" results and they crash diet and hope that these crash diets will produce quick results, when in reality they exasorbate the problem. Most crash dieters put on even MORE weight after they get tired of it and go back to normal. People who eat sensibly and exercise as part of their lifestyle are NOT more overweight and unhealthy as a result. When you say "we" are heavier you only are referring to the part of the population that isn't making a good diet and exercise a healthy part of their lifestyle habitually.

 

I think many Americans have a huge overeating problem. Portions served when out are ridiculously large. So many people want to supersize it.

 

If americans were TRULY getting healthy then we would not have an obese society. Instead most americans want to continue overeating and binge diet which is totally ineffective. Healthy living means you eat smaller portions of better more nutritious food EVERYDAY, not just in January during NY resolution time.

 

Dieting and worrying about your health will produce great health benefits if the plan is sensible and you STICK to it. No, it won't work if you are going to throw up your arms like this and say screw it.

 

The eating habits of most americans is horrendous. I only say americans because i am not really aware of the habits of other countries. I think most people think it is too much work to be fit so they don't bother.

 

Of course even yet there are still americans who eat sensibly and healthy but it is still an epidemic of growing proportions, no pun intended. And then you have children in households with working parents who are fed junkfood because it is easier to prepare than regular meals. Children of today are so much more overweight or just plain out of shape then they were 50 years ago. I blame a lot of it on the "i want it now" society we live in.

[JadedStar]

You can be whatever size you want but your height at 200 lbs and only 5'3 posesserious health risks whether you believe that or not.

 

What you describe about wanting to eat what you want and not exercise is the exact reason most americans are out of shape and overweight. Far too few people want to work at a healthy weight so they don't do anything at all.

 

What you say about it strengthening your bones...I do not believe I have ever read that. People who are overweight eventually have such bad ankles and knees that walking without a cane is very difficult as they age, and then walking becomes a nightmare altogether. The knees and ankles are not going to forgive all of that extra weight longterm.

 

You can rationalize that being 200 lbs at your height is not a health risk, but it is. I am glad you are happy with who you are, we all should be, but not even making an attempt to be healthy sounds kind of like a cop out. But it is your body and your own consequences. It is one thing for you to be happy but to rationalize this to someone else or other people who might be looking for advice on their weight this rationale isn't going to do them a bit of good and is harmful IMO.

 

What good would strong bone density be if one has blown kneecaps and ankles that can no longer support the weight? Or if one gets so winded going to the mailbox to check their mail that they have to sit right afterwards and catch their breath?

[jengh]

great post...agree with all of that, JS

[MollyElise]

Okay guys, Im feeling a little beat up on here.

 

I never said I don't exercise or make any effort to be healthy. I walk at least 2 miles every day and take a long walk or jog at least once a week. I eat lots of veggies, don't keep much junk food in the house and try to make decent decisions though I don't deny myself something I really want.

 

To maintain my current weight takes 2,000 calories a day, that isn't so much.

 

I have always "struggled" with my weight, I have successfully lost 100 pounds and I kept it off for two years. I moved and got married, started eating out alot more and exercising less over a year I gained back about 20 pounds. I then got sick and put on 40 pounds due to a medication I was put on that is well known to cause that type of weight gain, thankfully I finally got my doc to change it and have not gained weight since. I don't want to put forth the energy to lose that weight at this point in time, I'm comfortable and not willing to make the sacrifices I have to make to lose the extra weight right now. When I lost weight before and kept it off it was a CONSTANT weight on my shoulders, I spent at the very least 2 hours out of every day devoted to keeping my weight down, that is what I have to do to maintain a 'healthy' weight.

 

Yes, I understand that it is not the healthiest condition in the world, it also isnt a death sentence. For me, at this point in time I prefer to not focus on exercise, I do expect to be involved in physical activities in the future, who knows what I might get myself into. I actually just got information about a yoga center, I am interested in it primarily because they have a variety of classes including ones that focus on the mental and spiritual exercise of yoga as much as the physical versus a class that you might do in a gym that is primarily for physical fitness (Ive done gym/video yoga off and on for 15 years but am really interested in learning more of the meditative side). My girlfriend and I have plans to try out a salsa night next week. Im doing these things because I like to live life and enjoy it I believe in letting things in instead of closing things out.

 

I have to re-read this thread to understand how I initiated a lets tell Molly to lose weight thread.....

[MollyElise]

And now that Im thinking about it, I have successfully kept of 40% of what I lost and it has been 6 years now, that is much better than the great majority of people who lose a significant amount of weight.