oh my god...im going on a date with a stripper

[JohnnyB]

first post here...and im sure you guys will remember this one....

 

After a breakup my buddies decided i needed some...unique...healing. So we went to a strip club.

 

Now let me preface all of this by telling you that im a tall guy, im 6'6 and have always DREAMED of finding a woman who is 6'0-6'2, brunette, loves kids...etc. etc. etc. this isn't about my type haha.

 

So i wasn't really having fun, i was hurting as im sure you can understand...but then...the most beautiful woman i've ever seen walked right by me and smiled (as she is paid to do, im not stupid i promise haha) Anyway she came back later and did her sales pitch for the private dance, and i accepted just because wow...

 

After we were done she stuck around surprisingly. She said she could tell somethin was wrong with my life because i kept staring at her eyes instead of what the other guys stare at. She offered to be my bartender for the night and i spilled my guts to her thinking it didn't really matter and i'd never see her again.

 

She listened really intently (i thought she was gunna try to sell me another dance but she didn't the entire night). And looked like she wanted to hug me 9/10 times. I know this is what they do to get your money...like i said...im not stupid, but it felt good to open up on a stranger. Anyway when i was done i asked her about herself, how she got into this job and questions like that. Turns out shes the first person from her family to go to college and is a full-time student. When she turned 18 she said all her male friends joked about how awsome she would be as a stripper so she tried it for a week to see if she would be any good...more of a joke than anything...and ended up making $3000 . I was amazed, and asked her major, she is majoring in elementary education and special education (my major) and although im sure being a stripper will come back to haunt her later in life she seemed confident that it wouldn't because there were no pictures taken of her and she never lets men touch her.

 

So we talked the entire night, my buddies got an absolute kick out of this and have been ragging me the last few days.

 

Heres the weird part: Shes perfect, shes 6'2, brunette, medium skin toned, gorgeous and loves kids...

 

At the end of the night i thanked her for serving as my bartender and smiled, as i got up to leave she asked me out, gave me her phone number and looked me dead in the eye and said, "I really hope my working here won't keep you from calling me...." And i left.

 

I called and it was a real number, she wants to go out for coffee...

 

IM DATING A STRIPPER!!!!! is she trying to sell me another private dance?! If so shes really going that extra mile haha...or did she really see something she liked

[RayKay]

IM DATING A STRIPPER!!!!!

 

No, you are going on a DATE with a stripper.

 

I would suggest you just really think it through before taking it further. Now it's not the case with them all, but the lifestyle a stripper is involved in is not all leather and lace. It is a rather seedy underground of drugs, alchohol, abuse. And, you have to decide if you really want to be dating someone whom gets naked for other men for a living - including doing private dances and other "extras". Never mind some seedy employers too.

 

I am sure she made you feel very special, but I am also 99% positive you are not the first one she has done that for either. Not to get another dance, but to be a bit "taken care of".

 

She may be a great girl, and very dedicated to her education, and may be doing this for the money, but I would suggest she is also a bit naive about how it will affect her in the long run too.

 

Shes perfect

 

Everyone's "perfect" at first...but the reality is NO one is perfect. I would suggest you take it slow and get to know HER before rushing off the deep end.

 

I also find it odd that aside from "love kids" you listed all physical characteristics as her "perfection" which shows me even more you need to get to know HER first.

[kellbell]

Hey there,

 

Well, I would not go as far as saying you are "dating" a stripper. I have nothing against strippers however I would never do it myself. I know of stippers whom put themselves through law school, med school with the money they make, it is a lot!

 

However, I would caution you dating a stripper because of type of work she does. I mean, think about it, would you be happy and comfortable with her stripping for other men, having them stare at her, her flirting with other men, doing private dances? I know there is a fine line there and boyfriends of strippers can get very jealous and possessive and hurt. Even the nicest guys. Walk carefully here.

 

You do not even know her. She is not perfect. Strippers lives are not all that glamorous. Some are drug users, can carry disease, it is hard to tell. I don't know, be very careful with her. Sometimes the club owner has them do questionable things on the side. Strip clubs have many many things that go on behind the scenes and are highly questionable.

[JohnnyB]

 

Everyone's "perfect" at first...but the reality is NO one is perfect. I would suggest you take it slow and get to know HER before rushing off the deep end.

 

 

 

i meant shes perfect physically, i have no idea about her personality yet...

 

Shes only 19, i didn't even consider she'd be a part of that seedy underground but i suppose you are right...no way do i wanna get mixed up in all that.

 

What a shame, the first girl tall enough for me to look like a normal couple with and she had to be a performer...blah oh well

[BellaDonna]

A date can't hurt- but as the others said- proceed with caution.

 

Also keep in mind that if you call it could be a trap- she could change her story and possibly say " Sorry I'm just so busy- but I would love if you came and saw me at work" If that happens- do not fall for it! It could be a lure for your money- and she may think you'll fall for it since you're in a vulnerable state and she knows about your troubles in life.

 

I had a friend who was a stripper- she had many issues- she also degraded the men who she stripped for just as much as she degraded herself by stripping. Watch out- they can use and abuse you.

 

BellaDonna

[DN]

I would advise you to go out with her and be friendly but guarded. See how things go. Having said that - make sure before you do that her being a stripper is not a problem for you now and would not be later if there seemed to be a relationship starting.

[itsallgrand]

It's all part of the extended job. Not to be offensive, but these girls learn real quick how to pick up on where they can get 'something'. That something doesn't have to be money.

 

Go out for coffee with her if you like, but be careful. Just get to know her.

 

I am worried bc you are vulnerable right now, and this is exactly what the business teaches girls to exploit. Consider that she may have fed you lies. Consider that you do not know her. Consider that skin-tone and external beauty (and the sympathy of a bartender to boot lol) are minor traits...

 

I am very cautionary. Keep in mind you met her at the strip joint, and you did pay for her services to begin with. I might have more 'go for it' if you had, say, met at school.

 

Please be aware of the dangers. As RayKay said, there is a very large seamy underbelly to that business. An entire world you really don't want to know intimately! She is a part of it.

 

take care

[Scotcha]

I used to be a stripper so I'll give you a little bit of information of what I learned during my short lived career. (RayKay is right.. It's very seedy and although there are some decent girls most all of them really are not.)

 

She may be genuine. BUT. Almost every girl I worked with did this to multiple guys. Why? To get even more money. "Oh, my phone is about to get shut off." "I can't make my rent/car payment/electric bill this month.." It went on and on and on. And all these girls came accross as genuine and really interested in the guy.

 

Also.. it may depend on where you live but I know where I worked.. If a girl made more than 3,000 dollars a week you knew she was doing more than dancing.

 

I'm not saying that she isn't genuine but I'd keep my eyes open wide for sure.

[AwdreeHpburn]

"i'm in love with a stripper...."

 

Dude, I say go for it. Have no delusions, but go and have a good time, get to know her if you can and see where it leads.

 

I think her being a stripper is no different than her being a teacher. Would anyone here say, "go with caution young padawon" if she were a teacher?

 

She's still a human girl, yes? Treat the coffee date according to a date with a human girl. That's what I suggest.

[nebbish]

give strippers a break: everything or most of what people have said abotu them is true-- the manipulation part, etc. i doubt most strippers turn tricks but you have to be careful.

 

you're a student, she's 19 and claims to be a student and you're not marrying her. you're not even entering a relationship with her. you're only having coffee with her.

 

my advice is: go for it. you will never be young enough to do something like this again and as long as you don't do something crazy like get a disease or let her swindle you out of your money, it will be a life experience for you that you can always smile about. strippers are people too and they have their issues (don't we all) and yes one aspect fo their career is getting money from customers (but don't all sales people do that?) and going out for coffee with one is harmless unless you do something crazy.

 

and if she knows you're a student (i inferred that you are form your post, if you're not, it might be different) than she knows you don't have a lot of money anyway, unless she is that clueless in which case you would want to move on anyway. But then you're moving on because she's clueless or dumb (good reasons) as opposed to being a stripper (by itself, not neccessarily a good reason).

[Day_Walker]

Its just a date, I almost wouldnt even say that you are just meeting for coffee. Sure she is a stripper but they are people too. See what happens on you rmeeting and take it from there.

[nebbish]

and i should clarify that although a lot of what was said about strippers was true, i think the same could be said of a lot of people in a lot of other wal;ks of life too. so give strippers a break.

 

consider lawyers who practice family law: would anyone here object if you were going out for coffee with someone who made a comfortbale living from the lowest points in people's lives? is it worse morally to extract mopney from miserable people or to give some fleeting pleasure? (disclosure: i am going through a divorce right now so i find stripping much less morally offensive than family lawyers. but even so...)

 

and there are zillions of posts here from people involved with non-strippers who are manipulative, leaches, abusive, drinkers, cheaters, whatever. and they keep their clothes on.

 

maybe a higher number of strippers per capita have those characteristics, i don't know, but what does it hurt to find out if the one you are going out with meets those criteria? go and know.

[nmduipd]

Without trying to offend anyone, I don't have a high opinion of strippers.

I think the job they are doing is degrading, both to them and to the men who they are stripping for. They are also not doing any favour to the female part of the population. What they are doing only helps in objectification of women.

 

Few years down the line, those same ex-strippers will complain in forums like this that they can't find a decent man; someone who will love and respect for who they are and not how they look like.

And they will do it without realising that they had their par in that problem themselves.

 

Strippers ARE people indeed, and so are the drug dealers, conmen and murderers.

They, of course, have their own issues and their own problems.

But, that doesn't mean that we have to condone what they do.

(Where I come from, strippers and * * * * * * were often called 'students', because they would always try to sell that story to their customers.)

 

To be honest, the idea of having my kids thought by an ex stripper scares me to death! I don't know many people who would like it. Would you?

What you do changes you and, even if you were a decent person before, doing 'underground' jobs like that can take its toll.

[Tigris]

I think she deserves a chance. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

 

Don't 'tar all strippers with the same brush', that's not fair.

 

Let us know how you get on.

 

Good luck

[CluelessGuy321]

Go Tiger!

 

 

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[candykisses]

lol if you've ever had friends who are strippers you'd know that strippers never date (like anyone ever really DATES strippers....)their customers but they want you to think they do

i don't want to say too much but anyway good luck with this one lol

[Daddy Bear]

strippers just don't hand out their phone numbers to every guy who walks in their bars. my guess is that she was genuinely dazzled.

[Markers]

go to the date and see what happens. If she makes 3000$ a week, there's something fishy going on. You shouldn't get that much of just stripping, just like someone mentioned earlier in this thread. Get rid of the thought that she's perfect. You need to be open and ready to see the bad things that are gonna come up. She's far from perfect - just consider her morale - what is she willing to do for money? I wouldn't probably even date someone who is ready to do something like that.

 

For every rat you see, there's 10 others you don't. So for every bad thing you know about her, there's 10 that you have no clue about..

 

It's impossible to know at this stage whether she is genuine or not. Chances are that she's not, and you have to be smart enough to find that out on the date. You gotta make her talk about herself, and you gotta watch out for these Hollywood cliche scripts involving a good student girl who has to do stripping to be able to study - when she graduates she of course quits and marries The Guy of Her Dreams... right, NO way. Those are made up stories made to fool you.

 

 

 

Want my advice? She asked you out, right? So even according to every dating rule, you should split the bill (or since she asked you, she should maybe even pay the whole thing), it's not like she can invite you to pay coffee/lunch/whatever to her. Normally I would just pay and not worry about it, but in this case I definitely would expect her to pay at least her own share. So feel free to test her here, and suggest splitting if she seems to expect you to pay. If she doesn't seem happy with that, you have your answer there. It works the other way too, if she happily pays for the whole thing, it's probably good.

[lara78]

well if you do this, do this knowing that it will likely be just a few dates....nothing against stripper, but i'd say most of them have some issues to be doing the job that they're doing...if she's as gorgeous as you say and loves kids, what could have happened to her in her life to make her choose such a degrading profession? Sorry, but a genuinely classy woman with morals wouldnt do this

 

And think of how your future wife might feel knowing you 'dated' a stipper. Cuz like i said...this one probably aint going to be the one.

[Bast]

I have dated two strippers. The irony therein being that I hate strip clubs and have only been to one once, when I was 18.

 

I'd go out on a date with her and have fun, but I would be more cautious than normal. Since you told her your story, she probably has an idea that you are in a more vulnerable state right now and she may seek to take advantage of that. Be careful.