Big-Fennel3632

Right I just woke up with alot to unpack here.. 🤣 Thanks for commenting everyone. 🙏🏼 I will point out very early on in the conversation, I moved it to instagram. Just something I do to give an extra layer incase I am being catfished. She may very well be using me as a time filler or shes just busy with work, like myself last week and this week for new years work is crazy. I honestly dont have to much emotions in this, if nothing happens I am fine with it haha. Regarding me saying "girl" I didnt mean anything by it, I am 25 and she is 22 so both of us are adults. When it comes to setting a date, I believe I started talking to her on 17-18th December, I tried to sqeeze something in on the dates I was free from my work but it was a stretch as I had already signed up for alot of overtime between 18th-31st. She is also busy with work so much so she didnt end up going home for Christmas to see her family. I have a friend that studies at the same uni as her and almost all courses took break on the 22nd, so I dont think she was lying. We messaged alot the first few days but since then It has been every 2nd day a few messages. I will ask her and try set a date for 1st week of January, if not ill just leave it at that. Thanks everyone. @Batya33 @rainbowsandroses @Starlight925 @boltnrun @Wiseman2

@Batya33 @Wiseman2 Ok I will message her and try and arrange something for after the New Year, I just didn't know whether or not I would be being pushy or not haha. She seems like a lovely girl and is really career driven which I love, so looking forward to meeting her face to face. Hope you guys had a lovely Christmas if you celebrate and have a good New Year. Thanks again for commenting on my profile, you always come with good advice. 🙏

Hey everyone, I find myself in a bit of a scheduling dilemma and could use some advice. Here's the situation: Over the past few months, I've been casually dating two girls I knew from before, I am still on occasion seeing one of them, with no serious commitments or labels. About 10 days ago, I matched with this great girl on Tinder. We hit it off instantly, moved the conversation to Instagram, and she's been continuously responsive with great replies. I asked her if she would be up for meeting for a few drinks and she said "absolutely". However, due to the busy holiday season, scheduling a first date has proven challenging. We're both swamped with work, she has uni commitments, and I've been working overtime too. I've already tried to squeeze something in before Christmas, but she had an important uni paper and skills test as its her final year in her degree for Law, so we couldn't make it happen. She mentioned trying to get something sorted, which was cool. Now, I'm wondering how to proceed as I dont want to come across annoying. Should I wait until the new year to ask again? I also don't want to bombard her with messages, as I prefer learning more about her in person. Should I keep the conversation going every few days, or is that too much? Another detail is that she's currently studying about 60 miles away, which is around a 1 hour and 20-minute drive for me. Not an issue for me, but it adds an extra layer of coordination. Any tips or insights on how to navigate this situation would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

@lostandhurt great way to put it. Thank you. 🙏🏼

@esther.essa Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. As much as I would have loved for you situation to mirror mine, I think I am kind of over it at this point and even if she was to do what you did, I am not sure I could accept it. I am glad it worked out for you though. 🙏🏼 Best wishes to you. @Andrina I agree with you and have absolutely over looked alot, I will be taking time back from her. We have never fell out or anything but I am putting alot of effort into this and gaining nothing, so I need to focus on myself. Its also so true and understandable about not wanting to date a guy like me running after someone like that. Thanks for your time. 🙏🏼 @catfeeder Yeah I took the roll on when I shouldn't have, I am not her therapist and she is old enough to know that she shouldn't be making the same mistake over and over again. Also when I started speaking to her and getting close with her 4 years ago, I didn't know my self worth. I was overweight and had no social life. Fast forward, I have done alot and am proud of myself and know what I will bring to someones life. Her on the other hand has unfortunately been on a downward spiral and has not learned from her mistakes. Regarding the drunk calls, the odd time that its happened recently, shes always been nice on the phone its just why be flirty then act like nothing happened the next day? Thanks for you time. 🙏🏼

@Kwothe28 Thanks, it wasn't that I was trying to make her jealous. We just talk about everything as we are that close. I spoke to my best friend about the situation and he basically said the same thing as you. He wanted to tell me a while ago but I needed to learn for myself. @Wiseman2 Absolutely, its time to step back. She relies to much on me at the moment, I think she knows that and its clear that her family know that aswell. But I do everything and receive nothing while she goes and gives a bunch of abusive guys all her time. @Lambert I also dont think she is a bad person, I still see the bubbly amazing girl I grew up with but somewhere along the way she got lost and invovled with the wrong guys. I have tried to "save" her but I now realise thats not my job to that. I have been nothing but good to her and i think she will realise what she lost soon enough. As I write this message I am currently texting a girl that I have been on a few dates with, she asked me out next weekend so time to focus on myself. Thanks everyone. 🙏🏼

Hi @Kwothe28 I remember you from last year on the original post, Thanks for the advice. Yeah the vibe has changed abit since I started seeing people. Just not sure how to cut her off, because we have been so close, maybe I need to talk to her and explain my side..

Hi there, sorry if this long This post is going to be related and involving the person from my first ever post on the forum 1 year ago. Link to the post for full context: Quick Summary: Basically there is a woman that I have known for over 15 years, since we were kids. Over the 15 years we would go in and out of contact. I had feelings for her and late last year I reached out to her, we became quite close but I never told her I had feelings for her due to her healing from a very recent breakup. That led me to originally post on here asking for advice on how to proceed. What has happened since: Since my original post I decided against pursuing anything with her in early 2023. I thought about alot of stuff and wanted to just focus on myself and become a better version of myself before seeking anything with any woman. So I got a Personal Trainer, hit the gym 5x a week, lost 55lbs, got in the best shape of my life, started a new business during the day, got a side job at nights. It has been the most productive period of my life and I have fallen in love with self development. Anyway regarding the girl this post and the last is about, I have done my best this whole year to be there for her and just try be a good man to her and show her how guys should treat women, not like how she has been treated the past few years with the abusive types. I would take her out for food, coffee, if I was going somewhere exciting like concerts or roadtrips she always was invited. If she was struggling and feeling down about herself, I would be there for her. Her mother and siblings have actually said to me multiple times that I have been her rock and they wish she would get with me instead of all these abusive idiots. Since my original post between January - July she was in a relationship, with a idiot again that ended badly. I had a real heart to heart with her and said if she keeps repeating this same process its not going to end well for her. 1 month after that in August we were out together and I just *** it. I am in a good place, nows the time for me to put myself out there and start dating, she is single I'll start with her. I said to her that I think shes great, I want to date her and she knows where I am if shes interested. 2 weeks went by and she was quite quiet, she came to me and said she didn't want to because of our friendship. I was totally ok with it, I knew she was just politely letting me down. I thanked her for honestly, said take it as a compliment and left it at that. We just continued on as usual. Now this is where I need advice: I wanted to give dating a proper crack so I have been talking to, seeing and going on dates with multiple women since September. I want to find someone compatiable for me and not just jump into something with the first person I meet. Since I have been seeing these other woman, my friends vibe towards me has been slowly changing the last few months. She would ask me how its going with the other women and ask about them, then she would point out flaws and try and say certain things were red flags. While doing this she would say things like "im not jealous, just looking out for you." 2 weeks ago she sadly and unexpectedly lost her parent, and I have been by her side as much as possible, while also still going on dates, Ive been on 3 over the last 2 weeks. Now that abit of time has past, she is grieving and will call me up drunk and start being flirty with me, ask what Ive been doing and If mention I was out on date she will say "Lets not talk about that, dont get me upset" or she will talk about coming round to apartment and hint at doing stuff with me. But the next day when I try to talk to her about it she says she doesnt remember or shes not interested. What should I do? I am trying to find myself a partner, she said shes not interest but yet when I see other women, she keeps playing with my head. Do I need to cut her out my life for a little bit? Its been on my mind for a few weeks now but I had to be there for her after the passing of her parent. I fear if I cut her out, she will get hurt and she isnt in a good place right now while grieving. But shes been playing with my head, and its effecting me now, more confused than anything. Why would she say shes not interested yet when I see other women, she starts flirting with me.. If I cut her off for a while do I tell her or just go silent? Any advice is appreciated.

I have only given her a ride home once since I originally posted this due to us having different work schedules. I havent asked her for coffee because I only met her about 4 weeks ago, have worked together a handful of shifts and thought it might be to early. She doesnt use social media, I never asked my co-worker about what she was doing, that co-worker happens to be my best friend, he knows I like her and overheard about her moving. Its important I guess because I dont have a way to contact her or build on anything, as we only talk at work. Thanks for your reply. 🙏🏼

Thanks 🙏🏼

Hi again, Circumstances may be about to change so I would appreciate some more of your input. I heard from another co-worker of mine that she was looking into being transfered to one of our other stores closer to the centre of town, because the one we work at now is out the way alittle bit and thats why I originally offered to start driving her home. This means she will no longer be my co-worker and I will most likely lose all contact with her as I only see her at work. If this is the case and she is transfering to another store, is it now more appropriate to just go for it? Tell her I think she's cute and ask for her number because Id like to take her out sometime. Any advice is appreciated, thanks again. 🙏🏼 @smackie9 @Coily @Kwothe28 @Cherylyn @Wiseman2 @SooSad33 @boltnrun @Lambert @DaterSA @Andrina @imjustdavid

@Andrina You are probably right. I have never heard of that site, to be honest I find it quite hard to meet new people because I am either working or out with friends and I am not interested in meeting woman in clubs. Dating apps like tinder seem to be a nightmare. So meetup sites might be a good start, thanks. 🙏🏼

Well we have been chatting more and I learned that she is single and is going on a date tonight with a friend. Like you guys said I will be cautious with this and since she seems to be dating, maybe best I hold back and dont try anything. Not going to wait around for her hoping something happens, if it does great and if not, its not the end of the world. There are plenty of great woman out there. I shall continue to work on myself like I have for the past year physically and mentally. Thanks for your time and advice everyone. 🙏🏼

@smackie9@Coily I think I will speak to her a bit more then ask her out for coffee, thank you. 🙏 @Cherylyn I also gave the other new employees rides home last weekend, so I guess I am just the work place taxi 🤣 It was also good because gave me more time to chat to her and get to know a bit. Thank you 🙏 @Wiseman2 Yes, good point I should be cautious and I am not actually a supervisor or anything, I just remember what it was like coming to the job new and want to help them out 😃. This is a side job for me to make some extra cash on the side. Thank you 🙏 @Kwothe28@SooSad33 The other day she mentioned to me that she is only here on a temporary contract and even if offered an extension, doesn't know if she will take it due to wanting to focus on finishing her studies, so there is a good chance she wont be by co-worker soon. 😅 Thank you. 🙏 @boltnrun Yes we can, I will invite her to sit with me. Thank you 🙏

We hired some new part-time employees at my workplace about a month ago, and I have taken a liking to one of them. Let me give you some context and if anyone could offer me advice I would appreciate it. I don't know at what pace I should go with this, like asking for numbers etc. The first couple weeks after hiring these new employees I was just helping them out when I could, showing them the ropes and helping them understand the job. I know it can be quite nerve wracking going into a new workplace, so I tried my best to make them all feel comfortable and keep them right. They all seem quite comfortable around me now and chat to me which is good because it's always nice to meet new people. The last week or two I have been talking more to one of them and have quickly started to develop a little crush. She is Female (21) and I am Male (25). She seemed quite shy and quiet at first but our conversations flow really well, I have learned a decent amount about her, where she is from, what she is studying, previous jobs, etc and now recently she has been asking about me and trying to get to know more about me. She mentioned a few days ago that she lives in the student accommodation in the centre of town, which happens to be 5 mins from my apartment, so I offered to drive her home after work so she didnt have to wait for the buses and sit in traffic. She accepted and thanked me. She only works 2 shifts per week as she is studying for her degree, so I only see her 1-2x per week, not alot of time to talk more to her as I only see her at work. Any advice on how to proceed? - Should I offer to drive her home again? - Is it to early to ask for her number? - Should I keep talking to her try and figure out her hobbies etc? - Am I coming off as weird, and approaching her to early? - Am I overthinking all this haha? Thanks for reading, have a great day!