Is My Boyfriend Cheating? Deals With Myspace :-(

[NoLiesJustLove]

I don't have a myspace, I used to, but when the hype started, I took it down because there was too much drama attached to it.

 

My boyfriend and I have been going out for a year, we had our anniversary 2 weeks ago, but we have a long distance relationship being that I go to UCLA while he goes to UNL. I haven't seen him in person since December and when I saw him we definitely talked about trusting each other and promising to be faithful and not do anything with anyone else.

 

I trust him and all, but last week I decided to check out his myspace to look at his pictures, and there's this girl in his top 8, who's put in the 1st spot and BEFORE his best friend, my boyfriend and his best friend are incredibly close, that's one thing I KNOW. So I scroll down his page and this girl is saying things like, "Hey baby, I love you lots" or "Hey I had a ton of fun last night sexy" Things that a friend who's a girl would not say, and so I look at her page and scroll down to her comments and I see comments from him that were so hard for me to see, I practically burst into tears reading them, but they were things like, "I love you babe" and "You're beautiful, I had an amazing time last night being with you" * * *?! boyfriends don't say those things to girls who AREN't their girlfriend.

 

 

 

I love my boyfriend, and I would think that he loves me. I just don't know...maybe I'm coming to conclusions, but I hate this, I'm his main girl, I hope...

 

What do I do?

[NewPhillyGuy]

I don't have a myspace page either. I think it's stupid, but...

 

You are DEFINITELY NOT jumping to conclusions! Look at the stuff they are writing to each other!

 

I love you lots...

I had an amazing time last night...

 

Come on. He's obviously messing around with her. I don't even see a reason to discuss it with him. Call him up, tell him what you saw, and dump him right there. You talked about this, and this is what he does to you? He's trash. You deserve MUCH better.

[PrincessLinzay]

Yeah, I would definitely have to say that it sounds a tad shady. I can see why you would be upset. He's obviously been hanging out with this girl at the very least.

 

It would probably be a good idea to speak with him about it. I wouldn't start accusing him just yet, find out what he has to say first. Let him know that you don't think those messages are appropriate for someone who's in a committed relationship.

 

 

[keenan]

Oh hon, I'm sorry. No, in my experience guys don't say things like "I love you babe" and "You're beautuful, I had an amazing time last night being with you last night" to girls who are just their friends...even very good friends. The fact that she's saying that she loves him in return and is calling him sexy makes it seem almost impossible that they *don't* have something going on.

 

I mean, you've known him for a long time, and you know how he acts with female friends. Is this how he talks to them? Is this how you would WANT him to talk with them, even in the unlikely case that they ARE just friends?

 

I'm amazed that he's being so open about it.

 

You say that you hope you're his "main" girl. Does that mean it would be ok with you if he had a side thing going with this other girl, as long as he's still involved 'primarily' with you?

 

Personally, I would ask him about this as soon as you can, but steel yourself for a lot of denial and anger on his part...especially if he's involved with her.

 

Hugs.

[annie24]

I have a myspace page, but I don't get wrapped up in this drama.

 

I agre with Linzay - talk to him about it. Those messages are definitely not cool. Find out what he has to say. However, I have a feeling like he might not be straight with you. Sounds like there's something going on there with him and that girl. Why else would he be saying stuff like, "had a great time with you?"

 

blah.

 

talk to him. If I were in your shoes though, I would dump him.

 

good luck

[avman]

Did you check the dates on those messages? Are they possibly old? Just trying to maybe look at a bright spot. You're right, if they are recent then those messages are not a good thing. Just want you to make sure you have all the facts before you confront your boyfriend.

 

If they are fairly recent messages, then I suggest confronting him with it. At least you'll get some sort of explanation (thought it may not be the explanation you are hoping for).

[maybe]

i am like so addicted to myspace now...just signed up for it about 4 days ago.

but yea, it sounds like he is definetly cheating on you. I am so sorry for you, but it is important that you face it, and dont let him talk it all away. I know from experience that loving someone who hurts you is hard NOT to do. Its just all up to you as to how you go with it. But i would say move on as best you can. You deserve much better.

Once again, i am so sorry.

[sweetstuff06]

well juss ask ur self would u send suttin lyk tht to justa guy friend???

[avman]

Sweetstuff06 welcome to the forum. Please read this topic

[Rabican]

I dont think you even need to ask this question, or question him about it.

 

His actions are about a 12 on the 1-10 shady scale... off the charts.. Either hes just a creep, or hes really cheating... either way... toss him.

[xmrth]

MySpace doesn't change what's going on here.

It is SHOWING you what he's doing, and it has nothing to do with the site.

 

I hate that site, and I'm not saying it's good, but you basically stumbled upon pure evidence. He said what he said, and she said what she said, plain and simple.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Well I know I can be overdramatic, but thats incredibly disrespectful and he'd be a dumped guy if he was *my* boyfriend.

[Megami]

You deserve to be respected, as her girlfriend, and I just don't think whatever he's doing is right.

 

No, these things aren't things that are supposed to be said , when somebody is committed.

 

I'd suggest you to talk to him and see if what he has to say, is reasonable enough.

[Iceman26]

Dump this guy. You have all the evidence you need.

 

Myspace is all about people advertising themselves for attention. Find someone with better things to do with their time.

 

I am sorry this happened to you. Good luck.

[annie24]

hey! I do have a myspace account, and I use it primarily to stay in contact with my friends from high school and college.

 

There are ways to be on myspace and be classy, and there are ways to be skanky and use it to cheat.

 

Depends on the person.

 

I still say dump the guy. I can't imagine what he can say that will justify those comments.

[Iceman26]

Myspace is a conversation/argument I have gotten into a couple of times before on here. Its one that I find is best suited to the "agree to disagree" category.

[RandomAdvisor]

You can add my name to the list of people saying "Dump the loser."

 

Avman makes a good point about the dates of the messages - if you're sure they're new - dump this guy.

[tylercdurden2004]

Unlike some who have responded I dont agree that you should "talk" to him to find out what he is doing! Jebus, he is obviously cheating on you, if not physically then emotionally which is even worse. If your the one he wants then why does he feel the need to compliment a girl who is just a "friend" especailly publicly. This doesnt smell fishy, its like a whole stock pot of boullabaise being dumped over your head!

[Spectre22]

People seem to lose IQ points dramatically when using Myspace, you won't believe how many people I know that have been caught in lies because they said one thing and posted something different on myspac. Yeaaah, you have a profile on some internet website, your bf/gf ISNT gonna look at it, ever, so write all you want about how others are cute and stuff, you'll never get caught.

[tylercdurden2004]

well put spectre!

[Willow2609]

ok im new at this but i have got a similar problem, my boyfriend and i havea been going out 9 mnths, back last year i became paranoid about this girl he spoke to on myspace, i kept asking him about her and he just told me that she a afriend but i then started hearing that she spent time down his house, they went to the cinema and stuff. then my best mate showed me the girls picture comments they we're really bad like "ooo kissable"" "oooo hugz" " your smexy" i went nuts he then told me he was sorry he didnt mean it her was drunk then the girl sent me convos off msn. and my god i nearly killed myself he made me feel special then she kept having cyber and stuff with this girl, and im not proud but i kept cutting myself, and he nearly dumped me becasue of it. we got over it he deleted her contacts and numbers we were fine until, 3 mnths ago when she text him, when i was with him, other than that i've seen messages off one of my mates being all filrty, ahhh i cant stand it i think he might be cheating again, wot do i do!!

[Iceman26]

Dump him. No guy is worth killing and mutilating yourself.

[metalblade]

aww come on people!! don't shoot the messenger.. Myspace isn't causing these problems, infact, it's bringing them to light so they can be dealt with!! Sure you can easily misunderstand comments left on someone's myspace page and a lot of people get pretty personal and flirty on those things.. but in this case, the evidence is CLEAR as DAY!!.. look at the dates on the messages, and look at their last log-in dates. there's a chance these could be old profiles from when they were together that they've long since stopped visiting and thus, never updated.. (to play devil's advocate here) The dates are important.. if they fall within the time you 2 were an item, dump his sorry ass with a QUICKNESS!!!

[BeStrongBeHappy]

btw everyone, this thread over a year old...

[Willow2609]

hey i posted on here a year ago. about my bf doing all that . myspace causes rifts between friends and loved ones. try to talk to one another without the friggin use of myspace. there are people on it that love causing trouble my and my boyfriend are still toegather after all things have worked out cause we didnt bother with each other on myspace hell he doesnt use things after all. myspace is just a site for people to make out there better or prettier than others, it maybe to late for others on this thread but for other people who have the same problem. didnt listen to whats being said on myspace. talk person to person and bulid trust through that to hell with my space and realtionships never work you get to parnoid!