heavensent Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 I know everyone has heard people say, "all men cheat" and that really concerns me seeing how I have major trust issues already and I am getting married in 3 weeks. What's your guys' take on this? Do you believe it's impossible for a man to be honest and 100% faithful? Link to comment
Scout Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 All men cheat?? That's a terribly unfair label to put on an entire gender. Not to mention, one that's completely untrue. Why do you wonder this? Who said this to you? Do you have any reason to believe your fiance would cheat? Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 I think that people focus too much on what exactly cheating is. The truth is that some people cheat and some dont. All you can do is make the best decision at that time and you have to stick with it. Its difficult to know what will happen in the future. Link to comment
lunatic Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 I know everyone has heard people say, "all men cheat" and that really concerns me seeing how I have major trust issues already and I am getting married in 3 weeks. What's your guys' take on this? Do you believe it's impossible for a man to be honest and 100% faithful? WOW thats really not fair of a statement since I have never cheated in the 17 years I have been involved in relationships. I can tell you that one of my ex's cheated on me so does that mean all women cheat? NO not at all. Please if you think all men cheat then you have met the wrong men. It is an unfair assumption that everyone in a gender cheat. You know there are some people on both sides of the gender curve that cheat and others that don't. Thats why relationships are so important to try and weed out the loser/cheaters from the quality person you want to spend your life with. OK OK my rant is over now... Link to comment
RayKay Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 No, not all men cheat. Just as not all women are faithful. I really cannot stand labels like this. They are terribly drastic to apply to a whole section of the population, when cheating is really an INDIVIDUAL thing. Some people do it, some don't. Some have moral convictions against it, some just respect and love their partner enough not to want to. Some have no qualms about doing it, some do it because it is their "culture" and it's accepted by their partners. I believe absolutely that anyone whom truly wants to can be 100% faithful. We are capable of making our own decisions, and cheating does not happen by accident. And it should not take a lot of control and possessive behaviour to PREVENT cheating either. A person should NOT do it as they don't WANT to do it, or at least have the internal strength of character to not let temptation dictate their lives. However, if you are having "major trust issues", it does not matter what others do or don't do, because getting married with those issues will not make them go away. They really do need to be addressed before that wedding...marriage is for life, and a partnership that needs to resolve such conflicts. If there are reasons for the trust issues, perhaps getting married is not a great idea. If there isn't, those are issues that still need to be dealt with. Lack of trust (either earned or not) is a serious red flag. If you truly believe in that statement, I think you are may be in the wrong relationship with the wrong person for you. Are you in pre-marital counselling? Link to comment
Dako Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 I never have. I think guys cheat for two reasons. Can't get it at home, or they're bored. Being married has little to do with the law, wedding or other external stuff. You're married when you feel and act married. Link to comment
DN Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 31 years married - never cheated 1 Link to comment
Shadows Light Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 I don't agree with the statement that all men cheat. Thats like saying all women are the same in the dark. I don't agree with the statement... once a cheater/always a cheater. Thats like saying..."thou shalt not kill" sometimes.. there are extenuating circumtances to the things that people do. Yes.. i know thats a harsh analogy, but the only one that comes to mind. My grandmother gave me a piece of advice on marriage and men. I think it would apply visa/versa.. so I'm not being sexist here. She said If you have to keep that dog on a leash so he don't run away. That dog aint worth keeping. If you keep having to keep an eye on that dog so he don't run away.. that dog aint worth keeping. If constantly have to keep checking the back yard to make sure that dogs playin in his own back yard... well babydoll... maybe you don't need to be a dog owner. And if that dog bites you..that dog needs shooting. . But, I wouldn't wanna give anyone any ideas... its just an analogy folks. Get that GREEN EYED monster gone out of your head GF... cause if you start that NOW.. you're going to buy yourself trouble. That seed gets planted and you are going to constantly be watching to make sure that dogs playing in his own yard.. and your gonna drive yourself crazy!!!! Link to comment
khujo56 Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 i honestly don't think all men cheat, it is unfair for me being a guy and having a girl say that to me. it makes it harder on the guys who don't cheat to convince that person you are not yet alone make them trust you. it's will always be an endless battle i think Link to comment
NR498E Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 I honestly think more women cheat then men. Link to comment
yeawutever Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 No, that's not true. Not all men cheat, as not all women are faithful, it depends on the individual. I can imagine guys who had their g/f's or wives cheating on them, they must be thinking about the same about girls. I know if I'm to be in a relation, my mind will be on that one person only and if problems occur, I'll either talk about them or if nothing works, break up, NEVER run into someone else, that's being a coward and low person. Link to comment
frostytheshowman50 Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 No, that's the true, 2 yrs relation and never cheated. Link to comment
Cynder Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 I honestly think more women cheat then men. I was going to say the same thing. Thinking about all the women I know who have cheated, versus all the guys I have known that have cheated, the number of women is about double... lso, women are more likely to go after guys who are attached. Many of them don't seem to care if they are breaking up a relationship or not. I think guys are less likely to do this. Link to comment
coollady1957 Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 I dont agree that all men cheat. I also dont believe all women cheat either. Its an individual thing that has nothing to do with being male or female in my opinion. Its a conscious choice to cheat. I think it has alot to do with the moral values you are taught when growing up, and the example that is set by your parents or other family members. However I have known some people that were raised and taught in the right manner but yet still chose to lie and cheat. I started dating my boyfriend when I was 16 and he was 18. When I was 18 and he was 20 we got married and were married for nearly 28 years until his death in 2003. During those years ( total of 30 years - dating and marriage) neither of us ever cheated on the other. We had a faithful and monogamous relationship with love and respect. The year after my husbands death I became involved with a man that I felt was a good person, but he lived a two sided life. He wanted me but he wanted extra fun and excitement on the side. I wont tell the whole long story, but my post is here on INFIDELITY as " HE lies, cheats and decieves,,, when is it enough" , if you are interested. He lied and cheated on me and I have now broken it off with him. So as a final word........ not all men cheat and not all women cheat. I have never done that, my late husband never did that. My parents and my brothers and their wives have never cheated on each other.. However I am aware and know that there are those of both sexes out there that do. Link to comment
cripplechild Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 Agh, why do we always get to be stereotype like that?? No, not all, depends on the person. Link to comment
Dako Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 I had a long marriage. A good relationship is so deeply satisfying that you can't even think of another person beyond just noticing how attractive or interseting they are. Even now that I'm single, I feel odd even looking at women. After being with my wife for so long, it feels vaguely wrong. When other couples split up over affairs, I assume they just didn't have that much feeling for each other. It's really somehing amazing. even if it dies. Link to comment
Marine69 Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 I was a COMPLETELY faithful husband. My wife both cheated on me right before we were married and then several times after. When I found out the TRUTH from her, I then decided I wanted to pursue those hotties that always flirted with me KNOWING I was married. So I did. Had she not committed adultery would I have cheated on her? I WOULD NEVER have done so. She of course decided to repent if you will and confese to me about her foul behavior. I got every detail out of her, glad I did. To be honest with you I think the studies say slightly more men cheat than women but the numbers are in the 30 percentile depending on what study you look at. Both do it and at about the same rate. Bottom line is NOT all men cheat neither do ALL women. Those that do, are wrong. Myself included. It is not healthy for a good relationship. If you are thinking of doing so, I would say don't. If your man did it to you then perhaps you should INDULGE yourself a bit and get over his play. I will never get over the hurt she caused me. I have forgiven her. [ quote=heavensent]I know everyone has heard people say, "all men cheat" and that really concerns me seeing how I have major trust issues already and I am getting married in 3 weeks. What's your guys' take on this? Do you believe it's impossible for a man to be honest and 100% faithful? Link to comment
Itsok Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 I don't think the correct advise is "if they cheat on you, cheat on them." What's the point of having a relationship with no trust at all? Not all men cheat. If a man cheats, he is unhappy in the relationship and he's not the one for you. Link to comment
cheesapeakecheese Posted February 1, 2006 Share Posted February 1, 2006 LOL, nice going with the question, fortunately the answer is no. In my case with my parents, mom's the one the cheated. Link to comment
Shadows Light Posted February 1, 2006 Share Posted February 1, 2006 cheesapeakecheese... and how are you doing with that?? Link to comment
AntiLove_SuperStar Posted February 2, 2006 Share Posted February 2, 2006 Yes, of course it possible for a man to be faithful! In my relationships which involved cheating - about 5 of them - it was ALWAYS *me* that did it. Ive known many a guy who has never been found to cheat. Link to comment
tarakan Posted February 11, 2006 Share Posted February 11, 2006 interesting thread and valuable opinions - thank you. We know that using word "all" in a statement describing people is inappropriate. There are always exceptions. What, I think the author of the thread was asking is: "What percent of men cheat? Is it true that majority of men cheat?" Does anyone have any statistics on this? Link to comment
Jlizzy Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 THanks Shawdows light for a post I found incredibly helpful! Link to comment
jimthzz Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 You know, if you truly love your soon to be husband and want to give yourself to him heart and soul, AND you feel this same connection coming back to you from him; then you are in a very, very happy place to be. Enjoy and revel in this time together. Marry him and launch your life together with positive thoughts. Do not let your insecurities rule this time. Congrats on your impending marriage! Link to comment
karvala Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 You know, if you truly love your soon to be husband and want to give yourself to him heart and soul, AND you feel this same connection coming back to you from him; then you are in a very, very happy place to be. Enjoy and revel in this time together. Marry him and launch your life together with positive thoughts. Do not let your insecurities rule this time. Congrats on your impending marriage! Her "impending" marriage was actually about two years ago. Link to comment
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