*My wife Is Cheating on me...HELP, im alone*

[geeman]

Hi guys,

 

*takes a huge deep breath*

 

Yup as you can see from the title of thread, the worst has happened and am feeling very low and sad. I know you all have heard numerous stories and well i thought it was only me but having looked thru this site, i guess im not.

 

i think i'll keep it kind of short... Well i been married for 3 and half years, girlfriend before and known her for total of 6 years. We come from sikh background, had the turmoil of getting married cos caste systems, came over that, with families not having it and now are the best of buddies. Also had the troubles of my family and herself not getting on but now are on a level. She doesnt talk to her bro and sis but is cool with her mum dad, so you could say a very tough time ish and well this has come along.

 

And to make matters worse, and i can hear you all say "how come im still with her" is that we still havent made love *cries* well she's like when we decide to have kids then that'll be the time. Yeah we have a healthy oral sex marriage, but i mean is that it.

 

Well, about this time last year, i had my suspicions and she well was on the phone texting non stop, so one day i looked at ther phone and saw text messages saying "i want to sleep with you" from one person and then another text mssg saying "i love you" both from different ppl. I confronted her and she said this guy was hassling her and that this other guy helped her out by saying he was her lover by saying "i love you" confused??well i was for sure. Well we argued and shouted and well i was asking her to come back to me. Stupid me! Then i thought well lets just see. She decided to keep her phone always on her, never let it out of her sight. I called this guys number 2 weeks later only for her to pick up the phone. yeah i know.

 

Then i let it be, i thought id catch her out. Over the months i managed to get hold of her mobile phone bill, constantly texting and phoning one number. She became distant, we never kissed, never hugged, she never replied to me when i said "I love you" Then another number came up on her bill, the bill becoame really expensive, at time up to 300 pounds. I called these guys numbers, always hung up. i was fed up. really angry, blood would boil. She'd then readress bill to her work, even her bank statments. Then she began to leave her phone under her pillow and that when i thought she's cheating for sure. Saw messages that would kill a pperson, well its killed me. Her phone went on the blink and she changed her sim card, i managed to sneek the sim card from her bag and transferred her sent messages to my phone...as follow are her messages to this guy:

 

"Morn lovely. I miss u 2 i want u and need u in my life. Wish i had woken up next to u xx"

 

"sorry for the lack of txt mssgs been out all day. want be with u forever. i thought about our weding conversation2day and it made me smile in my heart. i love you honey always x"

 

now wouldnt that make anyone blood boil, reading it now makes me sick.

 

Well i try so hard and thick yeah i can still make a go of this.But no such luck for me. Yeah i would see her panties, so dirty and yeah she'd come home , work late, and go straight in to shower or bath. Yeah even to the point of i would see her naked. I would see her pubic hair down below, all the tell tale signs are there as she's got this damn design going on.

 

Well last month it was our 4th anniversary and we went to barcelona, was really nice, she seemed so different. Then we got back and via work she's been away for the past few months and then she had to go again i was like ok. But when she came back i sneeked at her suitcase to find some lingeire, that hadnt been used and now she;'s hidden away from me and the most gut wrnching moment was that i found that she's on the pill, yup and had been since we got back from barcelona.

 

Im virtually dead inside now, im fed up and dont know what to do, i wanna leave her and finsih it. I wanna find out more but am scared...just feel weak need help ...pls....

[BellaDonna]

I am so sorry that you have to go through this. Your wife has some major issues. She is totally disrespecting you- and I think she knows that you know she is cheating, and she doesn't care.

 

im fed up and dont know what to do, i wanna leave her and finsih it.

 

I was relieved to see that you realize that you should not stay in this unhealthy relationship. Not only is it extremely destructive to you emotionally- but PHYSICALLY she poses a health risk to you too. If she is sleeping around she gave give you a sexually transmitted disease.

 

I know it is hard to let go- but believe me- you don't not really even have a "marriage" here. She is using you. You do not deserve this kind of treatment. You will likely never change her either.

 

My best advice would be to seek legal help- find out what the divorce laws are in your area, and what you would need to do to divorce her. Then develop a plan to get yourself out of this situation, so you can begin to lead a happier life.

 

 

BellaDonna

[annie24]

I agree with BellaDonna. Have a conversation with your wife. Tell her that your marriage is not working. Either she stops seeing these other men and goes to counseling with you, or you two should just split up. definitely, talk to a divorce lawyer.

 

Good luck. I am so sorry for your situation. You don't deserve such treatment. (BIG HUG!)

[lunatic]

I have to disagree with the girls on this one but, she is disrespecting you. You need to tell her how you feel and go about this YOUR way. If you want to leave then you owe her nothing in the form of explainations. She already knows why your leaving and she seems to not care.

 

You have to be selfish right now and get away from her ASAP! I think your in that mindset at this time anyway. She is cheating and you know it.

 

 

Either way you have a tough decision to make here.

 

I am sorry that your going thru this. It sucks and makes ya mad as hell!!!

 

Hub

[RayKay]

Welcome to the boards - I am very sorry to hear you are going through this, but I think you will find everyone very helpful and caring around here.

 

Your wife, she knows you are suspicious obviously, and is rather terrible at hiding things from you. I do not think she would be surprised to find out you were wanting to leave, something I really hope you will get the courage to do. She seems completely selfish and unapologetic for her actions. You even CALLED her guys phone number and she picked up and yet continues onÉ

 

She is a terrible wife at this point, and being a terrible best friend as you called her. She wonèt sleep with her own husband, yet will tell other men she wants too...or who knows what she has done already.

 

It is time to move on, divorce is not a choice anyone wants to have to make, but you deserve too much more then this treatment to stay with her. You do not deserve this treatment, or lack of respect. Sure there is counselling too, but she needs to come clean first, and admit her own wrongdoings and from what you have said, she seems rather unwilling to do so.

 

I am so sorry you are in this position, but you need to do what is right for you now.

[Caterina]

You deserve so much better. *tear*

[Day_Walker]

You need to see that you are rewarding her for cheating on you. You bring up all of these facts that she is cheating on you and you end up taking her to Barcelona for your anniversary. You need to step up to your wife and talk about what is going to happen with your marriage. You do not allow her to make the decision what she is going to do YOU decide what you are going to do if you continues to cheat.

You need to be strong and believe in the decision that you are going to make. It is very important that you stick to the decision that you made.

[traz]

The door's thattaway...I hope you use it. It hurts me just to read your post..no one should have to be put through that kind of blatant disrespect and pain. You may care for her, or whatever is holding you back, but you have to see that she can't care for you if she's willing to do these kinds of things behind your back. You have come accross MORE than enough evidence. Realise that you deserve much better than this and get out of this situation.

[lovecrazy]

I am sorry that you are going through this.

 

Your wife is something else.

 

I can tell you from experience, that once a cheater always a cheater seems to be true in many cases. But in some cases people just make mistakes.

 

IF you feel she is worth it, then try and win her back! But if you feel it is time to move on, then move out of the house. And file for divorce.

 

But it sounds to me that she has already moved on.

 

She isnt treating you fairly. She is not being honest nor faithful! So hun you are better off without her.

[SexySadie7]

I'm no lawyer but if your wife has not had intercourse with you, then wouldn't the marriage be alot easier to get seeming as it has not been consumated via Standard Intercourse?

I would tell you lawyer this. Who knows, maybe this makes the marriage void in some states?

[Rabican]

Dude i know its easier said that done sometimes, but be a man and kick her out. Tell her you know shes cheating, and you want her gone. end of story.

[Danny H]

geeman, you talk about being married to this lady but there seems to be very little evidence that she wants to be in one with you.

I'm sorry mate but as a brit you'll understand this -She is taking the pis#.

 

For your own sanity, stand up say what you want, if she isn't going to listen, you've got to move on.

 

Is there an outside chance that she is trying to get you to react, to maybe make love to her or whatever?

 

anyway best of luck, you are in a very painful place.

[geeman]

almost 6 months since i posted im at my end now...i did confront her...will explain later to to you all...but just needed someone...just need to cry *cries at his desk*

[yeawutever]

It's terrible what you're going throught and no, nor you nor anyone deserves to be treated like this. Time to show her the door, sorry can't write no more, gotta go. Anyways let us updated.

[Daddy Bear]

geeman... i'm so sorry to read about what you have been going through for so long. this is not a case of her making a single mistake, it is her way of life. she knows that you know, and she doesn't seem to care. it just tears my heart out reading of it. it looks to me like you have the wrong wife, my friend. you have been so patient... there must be so many nice women out there, Sikh or otherwise, who would be thrilled to have you for their man. obviously this woman cares very little for your feelings. if you ever hope to be happy you may have to turn her out, and find a girl who will bring you tears only of joy. of course it will not be easy to ask your own wife to leave... but if you ever hope to be a happy man it is what i think you must do.

 

please post again soon.

[doyathink]

I'm also sorry to hear of your sorrow. Take a deep breath and clear your head. YOU have a future, not that you can see it right now but the next step is to figure out where you are going to go from here.

 

You deserve happiness and I hope you find it very soon. Good luck

[NW Homey]

Count your blessings there aren't children invovled. Move on and hold your head up high. She cares NOTHING for you and doesn't deserve you. Never be anyone but who YOU want to be. The right one for you will be there for you when you are ready. Keep your chin up mate. Talk to a lawyer and kick her out.

[sddeaston]

That sucks man. Horrible. What a * * * * *. Easy to say, but hard to do....get out of that marriage. You deserve more respect than that and you can do better. Just simply tell her what and why...also tell her where to go and how to get there She just has no regard for you or your feelings. She doesn't care about you...so return the favor. Good luck. Keep your head up.

[gren39935]

Sorry man that sucks. i wouldnt wish that on my worst enemy. dont worry you'll find someone else

[NiceGuysFinishLast]

I think you know what to do, what is right. So grow some balls and do it! Dont be ANYONES doormat. She has done the worst thing ever in my book, the biggest act of betrayal and doesnt even seem to have any remorse. Tell her family, and tell yours, make her ashamed of what she has done, it is despicable. You know you deserve better, so why stand for it a moment longer?! Be a man, man!

[geeman]

hey guys, i have no words to describe how much you lot have helped! I totally get what you all saying - sorry for the small reply but i am trying to cope a bit , but please hear me out - i wish someone could REALLY HELP ME OUT! i've decided to catch her out, she is one clever person and i want one over her ONCE AND FOR ALL - PLEASE ANYONE - i don't know what, maybe like planning something - oh i dunno *cries* F*** F*** sorry guys...dunno what i was thinking...please i need help

[Iceman26]

People here are giving you help. What is it you want to hear?

 

You have to help yourself dude. You know she is screwing around with other guys, so leave. Its pretty obvious she doesn't care, so take charge of your life and leave her.

 

If you like crying and being miserable, then stay with her. If you want to be happy, then let her go to screw up someone elses life.

[annie24]

hey guys, i have no words to describe how much you lot have helped! I totally get what you all saying - sorry for the small reply but i am trying to cope a bit , but please hear me out - i wish someone could REALLY HELP ME OUT! i've decided to catch her out, she is one clever person and i want one over her ONCE AND FOR ALL - PLEASE ANYONE - i don't know what, maybe like planning something - oh i dunno *cries* F*** F*** sorry guys...dunno what i was thinking...please i need help

 

If you want "one over her", this is what you should do: Divorce her, don't let her get any of your money, go on, be happy, travel, meet a fabulous new woman, get married to her, and have lots of babies, and be ridiculously happy for the rest of your life. Forget your wife. She is not worth your time or your heart or your tears.

 

DIVORCE!

[lunatic]

If you want "one over her", this is what you should do: Divorce her, don't let her get any of your money, go on, be happy, travel, meet a fabulous new woman, get married to her, and have lots of babies, and be ridiculously happy for the rest of your life. Forget your wife. She is not worth your time or your heart or your tears.

 

DIVORCE!

 

I could not have said it any better Annie!

[Rabican]

Gather whatever evidence of her cheating you can briefly, take it to a lawyer and then slam her with a divorce. Go after her for any and all damages and money you can get. Also toss her clothes out in the driveway and burn them.