geeman

just a random thought, i bet so many film/tv writers browse though our threads and stories to pull out a few juicy stories, just made laugh at how all our lives are just one BIG SOAP! Anyway...once again thanx for the support, i so wish i could just sit down with you guys and just talk. Weird but its like when i come here i gain strength from it and am almost there in actually sitting down with her and telling her whats what. I know im not the best with words but would wish if someone could just give a jist of how i should just come out with it. Did think of just saying "our marraige is not the same, there seems to be nothing there, is there anything you wish to say" or do i just show her or read the email out to her - shock treatment...i dunno, alll i know is that i want my life back and she's so out of my life!

thanks guys...really do appreciate your advice.

hi everyone, Been sometime since i last posted, main reason being i took it to myself to actually give this marriage a go and see if it could get better. Months have passed and well nothing has changed, yeah i still feel the same way about her - that i love her but its almost gone now. I guess i wanted to find out more somehow or another be it some proper evidence, i know i should listen to you all and you all are right but i just needed to be sure. all the evidence i have is sufficient enough but for my heart to also feel it, it wasn't. So thats why i stuck with it. Months have gone and we still havent made love, it does make me sick even the little things like touching her foot or snuggling up she just moves me away, not in a nice way but quite harshly! i guess also why i havent done anything is becuse our lives have been busy and have got so much on i no its a feeble excuse but im strugglin and i guess the culture behind us im scared of the community and family knowing! i thought about catching her out be it if i called the guy in question and threatening him or asking a friend to call my wife up and threaten her that she's someone who knows and you better tell you husband, i dunno its prob i can't bring it up with her! BUT NOW i have come to the fact that i have lost the love of my life i have no feelings for her cos i have snoooped around and luckily for my luck actually cracked her hotmail account and well there is one email that she forwarded from her work add explaining everything and just that one email has so cemented in me that i have to finish this...The email included the fact that she was with a guy from work and now that she is seeing another guy who she feels is the one! HOW SICK! And top of that she explains to this new guy that she made love to this guy and not me... a few bits from email.... Opening line..."Its true i love you for the person that you are and for the person that i am when im with you." "And because i love you so much i cant say guess what and just leave it at that its unfair. You telling me its ok and that you can wait just reminds me of all those qualities i fell for in the first place" "XXXXX was my first" I have been with hubby since 1999. We never had proper you know what. I have given him nothing back and he needs to tell me to go "all i know is that i once had become a strong friendship rather than the love of my life. Did he pity me" You have brought so much into my life All i say is trust me when i say i love you i do and i have given myself to you which is the most precious thing i have. so thats what i found i guess its the final piece, i just wanna know if i should threaten her or just sit down with her and just go our separate ways, im gonna say give it 3 weeks or so and then i will have the talk, will finish it. Its gonna hurt but now im more stronger than before, cos when i confronted her first time i was the one who was crying and pleading with her. Is there any tips or ways of putting all this accross, should i show her the email, or just say this is not working out and say is there someone else in her life, all im stuck with now is how to say this cos i have made that one big decision that i wanna finish it, life is too short, i so wanted children but not with her now, so wanted to grow old with her but not now. I just pray the future is not as hard as this but i want my life back, want my smile back, want happiness back, want o sleep at night.... btw really appreaciate all the advice, and yeah i'll keep posting now cos i know im gonna end.... thanx

i guess after so long of just taking all this crap, i have tried to do something but i cant so much has happened and im still in a situation, none the wiser even from all your advice and help - i look at myself and think what an idiot. i wish i could just walk but i cant - i need to find out for sure, even tho i have so much evidence i need help - pls someone help me

hey guys, i have no words to describe how much you lot have helped! I totally get what you all saying - sorry for the small reply but i am trying to cope a bit , but please hear me out - i wish someone could REALLY HELP ME OUT! i've decided to catch her out, she is one clever person and i want one over her ONCE AND FOR ALL - PLEASE ANYONE - i don't know what, maybe like planning something - oh i dunno *cries* F*** F*** sorry guys...dunno what i was thinking...please i need help

almost 6 months since i posted im at my end now...i did confront her...will explain later to to you all...but just needed someone...just need to cry *cries at his desk*

Hi guys, *takes a huge deep breath* Yup as you can see from the title of thread, the worst has happened and am feeling very low and sad. I know you all have heard numerous stories and well i thought it was only me but having looked thru this site, i guess im not. i think i'll keep it kind of short... Well i been married for 3 and half years, girlfriend before and known her for total of 6 years. We come from sikh background, had the turmoil of getting married cos caste systems, came over that, with families not having it and now are the best of buddies. Also had the troubles of my family and herself not getting on but now are on a level. She doesnt talk to her bro and sis but is cool with her mum dad, so you could say a very tough time ish and well this has come along. And to make matters worse, and i can hear you all say "how come im still with her" is that we still havent made love *cries* well she's like when we decide to have kids then that'll be the time. Yeah we have a healthy oral sex marriage, but i mean is that it. Well, about this time last year, i had my suspicions and she well was on the phone texting non stop, so one day i looked at ther phone and saw text messages saying "i want to sleep with you" from one person and then another text mssg saying "i love you" both from different ppl. I confronted her and she said this guy was hassling her and that this other guy helped her out by saying he was her lover by saying "i love you" confused??well i was for sure. Well we argued and shouted and well i was asking her to come back to me. Stupid me! Then i thought well lets just see. She decided to keep her phone always on her, never let it out of her sight. I called this guys number 2 weeks later only for her to pick up the phone. yeah i know. Then i let it be, i thought id catch her out. Over the months i managed to get hold of her mobile phone bill, constantly texting and phoning one number. She became distant, we never kissed, never hugged, she never replied to me when i said "I love you" Then another number came up on her bill, the bill becoame really expensive, at time up to 300 pounds. I called these guys numbers, always hung up. i was fed up. really angry, blood would boil. She'd then readress bill to her work, even her bank statments. Then she began to leave her phone under her pillow and that when i thought she's cheating for sure. Saw messages that would kill a pperson, well its killed me. Her phone went on the blink and she changed her sim card, i managed to sneek the sim card from her bag and transferred her sent messages to my phone...as follow are her messages to this guy: "Morn lovely. I miss u 2 i want u and need u in my life. Wish i had woken up next to u xx" "sorry for the lack of txt mssgs been out all day. want be with u forever. i thought about our weding conversation2day and it made me smile in my heart. i love you honey always x" now wouldnt that make anyone blood boil, reading it now makes me sick. Well i try so hard and thick yeah i can still make a go of this.But no such luck for me. Yeah i would see her panties, so dirty and yeah she'd come home , work late, and go straight in to shower or bath. Yeah even to the point of i would see her naked. I would see her pubic hair down below, all the tell tale signs are there as she's got this damn design going on. Well last month it was our 4th anniversary and we went to barcelona, was really nice, she seemed so different. Then we got back and via work she's been away for the past few months and then she had to go again i was like ok. But when she came back i sneeked at her suitcase to find some lingeire, that hadnt been used and now she;'s hidden away from me and the most gut wrnching moment was that i found that she's on the pill, yup and had been since we got back from barcelona. Im virtually dead inside now, im fed up and dont know what to do, i wanna leave her and finsih it. I wanna find out more but am scared...just feel weak need help ...pls....