Another Man Sent me Money and He got Mad at Me

[sheera]

 If there's a way to resolve the issue, such as returning the money or making amends in some other way, offer to do so. It's important to show that you're willing to take responsibility and make things right.

[Batya33]

2 hours ago, Tinydance said:

ut I do find it odd that if you could have easily afforded that coffee, why you sent him your cash app details for him to send you the money. It does come across like maybe you were enjoying getting attention. Whether it be because you wanted recognition as a nurse, attention from this guy, or both. But I guess if you took care of his mother and his mother really liked you or something, maybe he really was just trying to be nice.

I agree it's a bad look -she could have said thanks for the offer but I'm good or - "instead-please give to your favorite charity you and/or  your mom support with the coffee money.  I'd be honored" 

Also the OP didn't have to tell her boyfriend - unless he asked for the cashapp on IG -again too much social media shenanigans it seems.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, sheera said:

 If there's a way to resolve the issue, such as returning the money or making amends in some other way, offer to do so. It's important to show that you're willing to take responsibility and make things right.

The jealous BF had a hissy fit and blocked her rather than ever acknowledging nurses week. There's no amends to make..

It's interesting this BF didn't do anything but ruin her day. Who does that? . 

There's just reconsidering a relationship with someone like that, especially considering his immature behavior from the past. .

Professional acknowledgement wouldn't threaten anyone but the most insecure putz. 

[mylolita]

4 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

The jealous BF had a hissy fit and blocked her rather than ever acknowledging nurses week. There's no amends to make..

It's interesting this BF didn't do anything but ruin her day. Who does that? . 

There's just reconsidering a relationship with someone like that, especially considering his immature behavior from the past. .

Professional acknowledgement wouldn't threaten anyone but the most insecure putz. 

If you ended a relationship over one transgression or misunderstanding or argument, you’d probably only get about a month in each time.

 

The answer to every hiccup can’t be break up or divorce if the relationship is worth mediating through. 

 

It depends how the relationship is as a whole. 

[rainbowsandroses]

Without hearing HIS side, I withhold judgment.

They both made mistakes.  Her providing an old friend (boyfriend?) her cash app and his jealousy which we don't know is justified without hearing HIS side. 

What if he had sent her $100 or $1000?  These cash apps on SM can be a slippery slope and even addictive for some people.

He may have been looking for an out anyway and this was it. 

That's my best guess. 

[Wiseman2]

On 5/7/2024 at 5:31 AM, Blckbttrfly said:

. A guy I grew up with messaged me asking for my cash app and he sent me $15. I was very grateful for it and he acknowledged me working hard because one day I ran into him at my job because I took care of his mom, so he knows firsthand all that I do at work. 

A former patients son acknowledging what you do professionally is a kind gesture. This has nothing to do with an ex BF. Your BF is simply insecure and jealous. 

[Coily]

I doubt it's "simply" jealousy.  There is a deep conflict in the relationship due to social media. 

We're only getting a very small part of the picture,  while I'd rather hand waive this on going turmoil as just jealousy; there has to some very deep seated miscommunication here.

OP, you need to have a open conversation with your BF, and see what is at the root of this. 

[rainbowsandroses]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

A former patients son acknowledging what you do professionally is a kind gesture.

I don't think anyone would disagree with this^.  It was his method of acknowledgment that many including myself disagree with.

Without more context into their particular dynamic, and whether his jealousy might be somewhat warranted, from boyfriend's perspective, it looks like a solicitation.  But again need more context.  

The entire sitch just sounds really odd imo in a professional environment.  Cash apps, sending $$$ -- ick.

P.S.  One of our clients gave me a gift card to Starbucks once to show his appreciation.  Which I thought was very thoughtful.  Another sent me flowers.

Had me asked me for my cash app?  I'd be appalled and no. 

If you don't see the difference Wiseman2 that's totally cool. 

JMO.

 

[yogacat]

Years ago I worked at a high end advertising agency.

Clients (male and female) would often gift me around the holidays jewelry, champagne, flowers, concert tickets, artwork and other lavish items as a thank you for successful campaigns.

They would send it in the mail at my workplace.

I never asked for it or said I needed it. Is that inappropriate for them to have gifted me those things as a thank you when they would send it as a gift to show their appreciation for a job well done?  I wasn't dating anyone at the time so I didn't have to deal with someone getting mad about it. I just thought of it as a nice gesture of appreciation. However, I can understand how it could be perceived differently and could potentially make someone's partner uncomfortable. 

You accepted a kind gesture from the son of someone you cared for, on a particularly difficult day at work.

Based on your other thread, he's giving you grief about Harry but he's liking all these Instagram photos of women he doesn't even know. That's contradictory. I mean, he gets jealous when you talk to another guy in person but he's following and liking these women on social media. What's that about? And you hurt his feelings, but he says he would get jealous of any guy that talks to you -- he's a walking knot of contradictions, isn't he?

If he can follow randoms and “like” them without discretion then nothing 🚩is sacred.  

Too bad your boyfriend can't be supportive of your industry and the fact that you cared for someone's mother and they thought highly enough to give you an easy $15 during what could have been a really hard day for you.

But your boyfriend SHOULD have been that supportive one. It was an isolated and RARE moment that somebody showed you a little appreciation. He should have felt proud of you that someone took the time to recognize you, but in reality, he's so insecure that he looks like an *** hole because he can't be nearly as thoughtful or supportive.

He was probably one of the big reasons you needed some waking up boost.

[Tinydance]

I think with situations like this, it really depends on the actual circumstances. I don't think it's that strange or inappropriate for people to thank medical staff for taking care of them or their loved ones. For example, my Dad died of cancer and he had a very kind, very dedicated male oncologist who treated him for a year. Both my mother and I thought very highly of this doctor. I said to my Mum that I wanted to give the oncologist a thank you card and a box of chocolates. I wasn't interested in him romantically at all but simply wanted to say thank you for everything that he had done for my father to try to save his life.

I think in this particular situation, the gesture was more a thank you for nurses week and the fact that OP looked after the guy's Mum. Also she said she grew up with that guy so she knew him. Where I think it would seem suspicious is if she hardly knew the guy and the money wasn't for anything in particular or any occasion.

However, this is more a comment about accepting money in general. I think it's a bit different if someone has your address and sends a gift in the mail. Or brings you a gift they already bought. In that sense they already paid for it and already delivered it to you, so it seems rude not to accept. But if someone asks for your bank account details to send you money, you don't actually have to say yes. Even if you're medical staff who helped them but doing this is actually your job which you already get paid for. And in a sense working in the medical field is supposed to be a caring, altruistic sort of job. You don't do the job to get gifts or money for it. So in my opinion it was just a bit in poor taste.

I do see some red flags though with the boyfriend interpreting any interaction with any male as flirtatious or romantic. If you're not allowed to say hi to a male acquaintance or interact with anybody male without being accused then it's like walking on eggshells. Which is very rich coming from someone who deliberately follows a lot of random women on social media.

[tattoobunnie]

1st, thank you for saving lives!! 

2nd, you were exhausted and hungry, and someone sent you money in honor of Nurse's Week, which should be celebrating.  This guy didn't come down to the hospital with food and flowers, he lazily sent you $15.  

3rd, instead of saying oh, that's weird and inappropriate, your boyfriend accuses you of cheating, which is manipulation and teaching you to accept abusive behavior 101, where now you will worry how to win his approval again, so then he can hold it over your head for the next 20 years till the day he thinks you deserve a slap to the face.

4th, girl, I know you think you are not susceptible to being with an abusive person, but they do it little by little till you can't even recognize yourself.  They are pros at this.  It is a blessing in disguise he is blocking you.  He will come back, but please do not let him back in.  He's a badddd, bad person.

[dias]

On 5/8/2024 at 6:55 PM, mylolita said:

If you ended a relationship over one transgression or misunderstanding or argument, you’d probably only get about a month in each time.

Well, if you can have 12 relationships a year maybe it's not that bad! Happy life!