BabyBluePorsche Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 So about 3 weeks ago a guy at my gym took interest in me. But ive noticed some of the things hes done are kind of very interesting.. -On the first day he pretty much followed me around the gym and was on every machine next to mine and was looking at me periodically. Like, i know that’s common. -On the way out he set up his items at the exit to the point I had to step over them to leave, and he just stood there. It was quite late so there weren’t a lot of people there and it’s a small gym so he could get away with it. -Once I left, I waited for him to leave to see if he was leaving with someone and he left 3 minutes later, alone. He had no real reason to do that and never did it again. And I overthought it to oblivion. I don’t know if this means anything of his character. Usually guys follow me around a bit in the gym but I’ve never had a guy go to this extreme to set up at the exit of the gym. We didn’t communicate because I’m quite shy and if I’m there and he’s there he will sometimes follow me around still the machines. He’s cute but I am nervous of the behavior lol..just shy or obsessive? Link to comment
Jaunty Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 Has he spoken to you? Maybe wait until you interact with him before trying to make sweeping judgements about his character. 1 Link to comment
BabyBluePorsche Posted March 4 Author Share Posted March 4 1 minute ago, Jaunty said: Has he spoken to you? Maybe wait until you interact with him before trying to make sweeping judgements about his character. So I’m not allowed to ask advice from what is presented? Because that’s all I simply did, I did not say he indefinitely was anything. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 It is not "stalkerish" or obssessive, no. It sounds like he is working up the courage to talk to you. That's all. If you've ever seen truly obssessive behaviour, well, you would know that this isn't it. 2 hours ago, BabyBluePorsche said: I overthought it to oblivion. Meaning? 2 1 Link to comment
Kwothe28 Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 How do we know OP doesnt like the guy? Well if she liked him she would wrote “This guy set up his items at the exit. Does he likes me?” People use “stalker” along with some other words way too much. If he was a stalker he would, I dunno, maybe follow you around town or something. Or in a newer time, maybe hound your social media. Like this, he is just some guy at your gym. Doing his rounds and maybe hoping you will notice him. Since we established you dont like the guy or feel comfortable in his company, maybe think about changing time when you go at the gym. 1 Link to comment
BabyBluePorsche Posted March 4 Author Share Posted March 4 18 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said: How do we know OP doesnt like the guy? Well if she liked him she would wrote “This guy set up his items at the exit. Does he likes me?” People use “stalker” along with some other words way too much. If he was a stalker he would, I dunno, maybe follow you around town or something. Or in a newer time, maybe hound your social media. Like this, he is just some guy at your gym. Doing his rounds and maybe hoping you will notice him. Since we established you dont like the guy or feel comfortable in his company, maybe think about changing time when you go at the gym. Yes, maybe stalker wasn’t the right choice of words. I do think he’s cute but didn’t know how to perceive him doing that is all, or if it was a red flag. I’m also autistic so it’s hard to perceive things at face value lol, but I appreciate the input. Link to comment
BabyBluePorsche Posted March 4 Author Share Posted March 4 41 minutes ago, MissCanuck said: It is not "stalkerish" or obssessive, no. It sounds like he is working up the courage to talk to you. That's all. If you've ever seen truly obssessive behaviour, well, you would know that this isn't it. Meaning? Meaning, I thought of a reason he’d do that that had nothing to do with me. I know when people write stuff like this people like to tell them “well maybe it was a coincidence” so I thought that maybe he just randomly decided to set all of his items up at the exit of the gym, wait until I left to leave as well and leave with no one else, and I haven’t found an explanation 🤪 Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 5 minutes ago, BabyBluePorsche said: I thought of a reason he’d do that that had nothing to do with me What was the reason you thought of? Link to comment
BabyBluePorsche Posted March 4 Author Share Posted March 4 1 hour ago, MissCanuck said: What was the reason you thought of? Well I thought he was waiting on someone initially but he wasn’t. Then I thought maybe he was just doing a sacrificial ritual in the exit hallway that required him to spread out all of his belongings, and summon Cthulhu from the underworld to do his eternal bidding, but I ruled that out too. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 3 hours ago, BabyBluePorsche said: . I do think he’s cute but didn’t know how to perceive him doing that is all, He could just be one of these guys who goes to the gym for the scenery or to show off or whatever. No he's not a stalker or red flag. He's not following you home, pestering you or even talking to you. Please remember it's a public gym and he has as much right to use it as you do. The issue seems to be your crush and hoping he likes you. If that's the case, start some friendly small talk and eventually suggest a refreshment after your workout. 1 Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 What I have done is say politely to the person "do we know each other?" and if I'm asked why I asked I'll say -you seem to be following me and I assumed it was because you thought you knew me." Link to comment
Sindy_0311 Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 8 hours ago, BabyBluePorsche said: -Once I left, I waited for him to leave to see if he was leaving with someone and he left 3 minutes later, alone I think you are “stalking” him. Why wait to see whether he leaves alone? I would rephrase the title of this topic by: Does my gym crush like me? Look I also go to the gym, some guys approach me, try to engage, use the same machines, help carry heavy stuff, look at me, even one of them invited me and texted me on social media... etc… Guys do that, the gym is their knew chasing area. So unless your crush asks you out or tries to open conversation with you, don’t overanalyze the things he does. He might do the exact same things with other girls when you are not around waiting for one of them to talk to him… 1 1 Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 4 hours ago, BabyBluePorsche said: hen I thought maybe he was just doing a sacrificial ritual in the exit hallway that required him to spread out all of his belongings, and summon Cthulhu from the underworld to do his eternal bidding Wait, what? Where is all this coming from? 2 Link to comment
BabyBluePorsche Posted March 4 Author Share Posted March 4 1 hour ago, Sindy_0311 said: I think you are “stalking” him. Why wait to see whether he leaves alone? I would rephrase the title of this topic by: Does my gym crush like me? Look I also go to the gym, some guys approach me, try to engage, use the same machines, help carry heavy stuff, look at me, even one of them invited me and texted me on social media... etc… Guys do that, the gym is their knew chasing area. So unless your crush asks you out or tries to open conversation with you, don’t overanalyze the things he does. He might do the exact same things with other girls when you are not around waiting for one of them to talk to him… I’m stalking him is a laugh..I wanted clarity on why he set up at the exit, hun. I’m allowed to have that before I jumped to conclusions. Also, I’ve been going to the gym for 5 years now, and I know for a fact most guys in there are petrified of approaching women in there. And frankly, I could care less about if he was doing it to some other girl. I’m speaking for my experience. If a molester molests one girl are you gonna say “well he probably molests plenty of other girls” to discredit her experience? Typical. Link to comment
BabyBluePorsche Posted March 4 Author Share Posted March 4 1 hour ago, MissCanuck said: Wait, what? Where is all this coming from? It was a joke, geez… Link to comment
BabyBluePorsche Posted March 4 Author Share Posted March 4 3 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: He could just be one of these guys who goes to the gym for the scenery or to show off or whatever. No he's not a stalker or red flag. He's not following you home, pestering you or even talking to you. Please remember it's a public gym and he has as much right to use it as you do. The issue seems to be your crush and hoping he likes you. If that's the case, start some friendly small talk and eventually suggest a refreshment after your workout. While I agree he has the right to use it as much as I do, he does not have the right to block the exit while I am leaving intentionally even if it is to flirt. Fair use does not translate to “I can bother others if they are also in the space” I hope you are not meaning that. Link to comment
Sindy_0311 Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 11 minutes ago, BabyBluePorsche said: If a molester molests one girl are you gonna say “well he probably molests plenty of other girls” to discredit her experience? Typical. If his behavior is making you feel uneasy, why don’t you just tell him, please don’t block the exit, or ask him why he is following… im not discrediting your experience and he didn’t molest you. What im saying is he might try to have an opening with others girls… and no, if a guy molests you I won’t say he does the same with others… your exemple is completely irrelevant. I just think you are reading into signs way to far. He might be shy like all the guys of your gym obviously, so if you want to know whether he is interested go talk to him. That simple. 1 Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 19 minutes ago, BabyBluePorsche said: he does not have the right to block the exit while I am leaving intentionally How exactly was he blocking the exit? Was he just organizing his stuff before he left? 1 Link to comment
rainbowsandroses Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 11 hours ago, BabyBluePorsche said: Once I left, I waited for him to leave to see if he was leaving with someone and he left 3 minutes later, alone. I'm envisioning this^ scenario and it actually sounds more stalkerish than anything he did, lol. To me, leaving his things by the exit so you'd have to step over them = him trying to get your attention. Why not just be flattered and say in a cute, flirty way something like "hey dude, whatcha doing leaving your things out like that, I could have tripped and hurt myself!" LOL with a wink and a smile? Versus essentially spying on him to see if he left alone? What the heck? Considering how he kept following you around and staring and trying to get your attention as you were leaving, yes, I think he's attracted to you. And he wanted you to know it! The subtle art of seduction. Not all men are gonna behave the.'standard' way when encountering a new woman who is basically a stranger - talk to her and ask her out, especially while at the gym! JMO. I've experienced this a few times myself. 1 Link to comment
Coily Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 Waiting to see if someone leaves alone is creeping into the stalker category. if the roles were reversed... It really comes across like you just want this guy to ask you out or flirt with you since you have the hots for the guy. Since he's new to the gym, or at least that's how it reads; he may just be meandering around. Also since there is no real time frame mentioned here, is this over the course of a day? Week? Months? It seems like you are more interested in him than the other way around. Link to comment
Sindy_0311 Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 I remember what a friend told me someday. I was telling him how my coach would sometimes try to catch my attention, shower me with compliments, and try to engage in conversations after classes. And he told me knows a guy, also a coach, him and his mates would act around girls with the only intend of hocking up in the showers with them. They would compliment, turn around them, and gauge their interest level before actually making a move when they feel they are reciprocating interest. I’m not saying that it’s what is going on here, but seriously? These guys are all shy? I think most of them are just fishing for the one who will show most interest and make things easier. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 26 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said: It's called the subtle art of seduction; not all men are gonna behave the.standard way when encountering a new woman who is basically a stranger - It's probably fine if you're an awkward grade school kid to pull pigtails or throw a spit balls at a girl for attention . But seriously. Leaving a disorganized obstacle course of your stuff in the way is the new "art of seduction" (PUA term) for grown men? It's amazing what kind of strange behavior people now consider "flirting". 2 Link to comment
boltnrun Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: It's amazing what kind of strange behavior people now consider "flirting". Usually it's because they're hoping the person is "flirting". A former coworker of mine was insistent I was "flirting" with him because I said hello to him when I came into work and sometimes smiled when I said it. Never mind that I smiled and said hello to each coworker, he was convinced I "meant something" by it. 2 Link to comment
rainbowsandroses Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 7 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: It's probably fine if you're an awkward grade school kid to pull pigtails or throw a spit balls at a girl for attention . But seriously. Leaving a disorganized obstacle course of your stuff in the way is the new "art of seduction" (PUA term) for grown men? It's amazing what kind of strange behavior people now consider "flirting". I agree it's silly but sometimes people can act silly when attracted, I certainly have! And look at the OP's behavior? Spying on him outside? Equally as silly! If not more silly. 1 Link to comment
rainbowsandroses Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 1 hour ago, rainbowsandroses said: PUA term... FYI, I am not into that redpill nonsense anymore, I don't even read it. I just don't think attraction and associated behavior is always so black and white. Often times, at least true in my life, there would be a bit of nervousness, silliness, behaving stupidly to get someone's attention, etc. at least for awhile especially if he was a man in my social circle and we knew we'd run into each other again. And especially at the gym! Direct approach at the gym is a big NO and most men know this too! In any event, in my experience, attraction, romance, love, life are not always so black and white. It can be subtle (and confusing) sometimes. It's important to know how to read signals as well as understanding what's "between the lines." This is one of those times IMO. To ME, his attraction was obvious. Following her around, staring ad nauseum, and then when she was leaving - YES that was VERY silly, but she could have had fun with it, instead of acting equally as ridiculous by spying on him! Lord. 😆 1 Link to comment
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