Would this be considered stalkerish tendencies by a guy interested in me?

[catfeeder]

I think blocking an exit is a bonehead move no matter why.  He’s a narcissist! 😜

[BabyBluePorsche]

2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

How exactly was he blocking the exit? Was he just organizing his stuff before he left? 

No, he was blocking the exit. There was no need for him to organize his stuff because he had just come from the locker room. I had to step over his items because he had them laid out over the exit path, then he had to move out of the way. It was obviously intentional 

[BabyBluePorsche]

2 hours ago, rainbowsandroses said:

I'm envisioning this^ scenario and it actually sounds more stalkerish than anything he did, lol.  

To me, leaving his things by the exit so you'd have to step over them = him trying to get your attention.  

Why not just be flattered and say in a cute, flirty way something like "hey dude, whatcha doing leaving your things out like that, I could have tripped and hurt myself!" LOL with a wink and a smile?

Versus essentially spying on him to see if he left alone?  What the heck?

Considering how he kept following you around and staring and trying to get your attention as you were leaving, yes, I think he's attracted to you. 

And he wanted you to know it!  The subtle art of seduction.

Not all men are gonna behave the.'standard' way when encountering a new woman who is basically a stranger - talk to her and ask her out, especially while at the gym!   

JMO.  I've experienced this a few times myself.

 

 

First of all, he left right after me. It was not like I was waiting an extended amount of time for him to leave. Calling me a stalker for trying to figure out why someone intentionally blocked the exit while I was trying to leave and get an explanation on it? Weird. I didn’t say I wasn’t flattered I’d just think if I did this myself, my ideology is someone I’m completely obsessed with. 

[BabyBluePorsche]

2 hours ago, Coily said:

 Waiting to see if someone leaves alone is creeping into the stalker category. if the roles were reversed...

It really comes across like you just want this guy to ask you out or flirt with you since you have the hots for the guy. Since he's new to the gym, or at least that's how it reads; he may just be meandering around. Also since there is no real time frame mentioned here, is this over the course of a day? Week? Months?

It seems like you are more interested in him than the other way around.

 

So is setting up your *** at the exit for your gym crush to trip over. And if the roles were reversed, they wouldn’t be because I’d never do that. It’s funny because it takes me about 3 minutes to get to my car and leave so technically I didn’t wait for him, but I did want clarification as to why he was putting his crap near the exit. But of course, we have people like you who like to gaslight people for voicing concern. What a world we live in.

[rainbowsandroses]

11 minutes ago, BabyBluePorsche said:

First of all, he left right after me. It was not like I was waiting an extended amount of time for him to leave. Calling me a stalker for trying to figure out why someone intentionally blocked the exit while I was trying to leave and get an explanation on it?

Look, I posted my opinion based on what YOU wrote in your initial post.  There was no need to get so defensive about it.  

This is what you wrote in your initial post:

13 hours ago, BabyBluePorsche said:

Once I left, I waited for him to leave to see if he was leaving with someone and he left 3 minutes later, alone.

THAT is what I was responding to, it sounded like you were "spying" on him outside to see if he left with someone or alone.

If you want posters to think something differently then it would be helpful to provide more context.

Thanks a bunch.

[Sindy_0311]

13 hours ago, BabyBluePorsche said:

Once I left, I waited for him to leave to see if he was leaving with someone and he left 3 minutes later,

You said you waited for him to leave… and now you say your car was 3 minutes away. Walking 3 minutes usually doesn’t allow you to be close enough to see someone leave… 

[Wiseman2]

4 minutes ago, BabyBluePorsche said:

So is setting up your *** at the exit for your gym crush to trip over. 

Does he have a crush on you? It's impossible from the description to determine why he had his stuff at the exit, but since you already like the theory that it was intentional in order to attract your attention, why not stick with that explanation?

[BabyBluePorsche]

Just now, rainbowsandroses said:

Look, I posted my opinion based on what YOU wrote in your initial post.  There was no need to get so defensive about it.  

This is what you wrote in your initial post:

THAT is what I was responding to and if you want posters to think something differently then it would be helpful to provide more context.

So if someone is telling you they got molested and included a detail in there that made it seem like they asked for it, you will then shift the blame onto the victim? What a gaslight. Nowhere in my post was I rude or accusatory towards him I just asked for clarification not to deal with someone saying “well maybe you’re the stalker” well if I’m the stalker he’s an absolute nut job! 

[BabyBluePorsche]

1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said:

Does he have a crush on you? It's impossible from the description to determine why he had his stuff at the exit, but since you already like the theory that it was intentional in order to attract your attention, why not stick with that explanation?

Youre right. 

[Sindy_0311]

Why did you want to know whether he was leaving with someone? What would you have learnt about him exactly? Sorry but I don’t get it. 

[BabyBluePorsche]

3 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

You said you waited for him to leave… and now you say your car was 3 minutes away. Walking 3 minutes usually doesn’t allow you to be close enough to see someone leave… 

Oh brother, imagine arguing this silly point. What are you out to prove? That I’m deranged myself? I can only imagine since you didn’t take a joke I mentioned seriously how literal you’re taking this. 
 

Second, yes it does. My gym is very small. We all use the same small parking lot so it’s quite easy to see who’s coming and leaving and you have to drive past the door to leave the area. This is all a 3-4 minute process. He was leaving as I was pulling off. Quite an easy process to see and most of the time I sit in my car a few minutes anyway after leaving, as does he. 
 

Stop trying to gaslight me into feeling a specific way about my response because if you’re are trying to prove me to be a stalker, he is indeed one too! Just strengthening my argument. 

[Sindy_0311]

4 minutes ago, BabyBluePorsche said:

What a gaslight.

Gaslighting doesn’t work with smart people… take note… 

[rainbowsandroses]

5 minutes ago, BabyBluePorsche said:

So if someone is telling you they got molested and included a detail in there that made it seem like they asked for it, you will then shift the blame onto the victim? What a gaslight. Nowhere in my post was I rude or accusatory towards him I just asked for clarification not to deal with someone saying “well maybe you’re the stalker” well if I’m the stalker he’s an absolute nut job! 

Wha?

Nevermind but good luck! 🙂

[Sindy_0311]

1 minute ago, BabyBluePorsche said:

I can only imagine since you didn’t take a joke I mentioned seriously how literal you’re taking this. 

What joke? 

[BabyBluePorsche]

2 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

Why did you want to know whether he was leaving with someone? What would you have learnt about him exactly? Sorry but I don’t get it. 

I just simply wanted an explanation as to why he was blocking the exit or just standing at the exit. If he was leaving with someone it would be more believable as to why he was waiting around and I’d not continue to think about if I could approach this guy if he’s with a girl. 

[BabyBluePorsche]

2 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

Gaslighting doesn’t work with smart people… take note… 

And shame doesn’t work on people who aren’t ashamed. If I felt ashamed doing it, I wouldn’t have mentioned it. 

[Sindy_0311]

I never commented on a joke… I did get the joke… when you quote someone please make sure you address to the person you quoted… 

[BabyBluePorsche]

Just now, Sindy_0311 said:

I never commented on a joke… I did get the joke… when you quote someone please make sure you address to the person you quoted… 

I didn’t misquote anything, I just confused you with the other annoyingly dense person on this thread. My apologies. 

[Sindy_0311]

12 minutes ago, BabyBluePorsche said:

If he was leaving with someone it would be more believable as to why he was waiting around and I’d not continue to think about if I could approach this guy if he’s with a girl. 

So essentially you are fishing for green light for you to approach this guy. But you masked it behind a “is he stalking me” topic. Please be honest 🙏

[BabyBluePorsche]

Just now, Sindy_0311 said:

So essentially you are fishing for green light for you to approach this guy. But you masked it behind a “is he stalking me” topic. Please be honest 🙏

I never said he’s specifically stalking me, I asked about the behavior specifically. You’re taking my words too literally and my click bait title too seriously. No, I don’t think hes stalking me, but do not know how to perceive the behavior, which is fine, because it’s not a normal behavior. Put yourself in my shoes as to if some random person set their items up at the exit door as you were trying to leave. And if that wouldn’t concern you, well, makes me think you’d be the type to do something like that.

[Coily]

27 minutes ago, BabyBluePorsche said:

So is setting up your *** at the exit for your gym crush to trip over. And if the roles were reversed, they wouldn’t be because I’d never do that. It’s funny because it takes me about 3 minutes to get to my car and leave so technically I didn’t wait for him, but I did want clarification as to why he was putting his crap near the exit. But of course, we have people like you who like to gaslight people for voicing concern. What a world we live in.

Sorry I can't take this entirely seriously. You are taking one moment in time and ballooning into him having a crush on you or stalker behavior.

So, since the hang up is now seemingly about blocking the entrance specifically. Did he set bags down? Or did he drop them accidentally? Did he set up an a elaborate ambush? Sorry I'm kind of dense. Or is this a series of moments you are unsure of; but because you have a vested interest want a certain outcome? Again I'm painfully stupid.

[Wiseman2]

7 minutes ago, BabyBluePorsche said:

, I just confused you with the other annoyingly dense person on this thread. 

Have you had an opportunity to read through these, especially #2 ?

https://www.enotalone.com/guidelines/

[Sindy_0311]

12 minutes ago, BabyBluePorsche said:

Put yourself in my shoes as to if some random person set their items up at the exit door as you were trying to leave. And if that wouldn’t concern you, well, makes me think you’d be the type to do something like that.

It wouldn’t concern me. I would just think this dude is weird, ask him to remove his stuff and pass my way… 

[yogacat]

It's sad when people come seeking advice on whether or not someone is being obsessive or not, but hey, that's the world we live in now. Despite the anonymity of seeking information online and ultimately never getting a 100% clear answer on anything.

There are two things to consider here: 1) Is this guy just shy and 2) Is his behavior veering towards obsessive?

Here are some things to consider:

1) Is this guy just shy: If he is just shy, he is trying to find ways to get closer to you without having to directly approach you. 

2) Is his behavior veering towards obsessive: Now this is a bit trickier to determine, as it really depends on the individual. If this guy is constantly following you at the gym, even when you are clearly not interested and have made it known, then it could be seen as obsessive. 

I don't see where he's doing anything out of the ordinary. Some people are just profoundly shy and they have a hard time starting a conversation for reasons only they know. They can exhibit lots of odd behavior as a way to get to know you without actually having to do more than be around you. 

[Sindy_0311]

15 minutes ago, yogacat said:

Some people are just profoundly shy and they have a hard time starting a conversation for reasons only they know.

Agree… the question is would OP be ready to start something with a guy who didn’t have enough balls/confidence to come speak to her… me personally I would not.