My stubborn boss

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, Alex39 said:

 . I made a bunch of social media posts for her to look at. It took me some time and effort. She only approved one or two. I felt so defeated. I know my work is good. I don't hate the job. I just know I have more I could offer and do.

Try to stay within their protocol. That's what they hired you for. Your complaints about the other place were the opposite where you were annoyed by the so-called disorganization. Now you're complaining that this place is too structured. 

[Batya33]

5 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Some people I work with like to chit chat. Others put their heads down and work. There are some people in my office whose names I don't even know because they have never spoken to me. It doesn't prevent me from doing my job.

You were hired to do things her way, not yours. 

It is interesting that the positives were like two sentences but your complaints are multiple long paragraphs. 

Have you ever considered keeping a positivity journal?

Same.  Also -this is just me - over my years of working since the 1980s (7 year hiatus for SAHM, 7 years full time student where I worked part time on and off) - I do things the way my boss likes them done -and I mean down to nitty gritty - including way of communicating, time of communicating, format of projects/documents whatever.  Sometimes I have made suggestions while keeping my role in mind.  Sometimes I've been asked for suggestions.

I've been part time for 7.5 years and sometimes it's more than part time.  Recently I offered my (strong!) opinion about a strategy and path we should take.  I didn't offer it strongly -I mean I felt strongly.  I was told yes go for it.  I went for it. It was successful but the whole time through the vetting process - two levels of review at least -I was ready to defer to my bosses if they changed their minds. Their way was not wrong just not how I thought would be most effective.  I went out on a limb but also I've been there 7 years, worked with these bosses 7 years, worked with my coworker since he started two years ago.  I know I wouldn't have done this as a newbie (and likely wouldn't have known enough to give  that input)

You as an employee are charged with reading the room, working within the structures and when you build up rapport and goodwill and they see what you can do then in most workplaces you can start to suggest -in an appropriate way -how things can improve and be made more effective.  But depends on what -the cornerstone of a business? No.  Typically not, not ever. 

But other stuff -yes - but if you are coming at this from this perspective of hypercriticism and likening it to past abuse - it's never going to come across as wanting to improve the bottom line (especially in the business world).  It will come through in your tone/vibe -or at least very risky that way.  

No one is forcing you to work here but either deal with it or leave -this rampage of criticism is you trying to justify what simply is none of your business IMO.  

[MissCanuck]

4 hours ago, Alex39 said:

She can't see my face, my tone of voice, understand my point of view through a chat online. That's just how I feel. 

You weren't hired to feel things. 

You were hired to do the tasks she assigns you. If you can't handle it and don't like the way she runs things, move along.

Or hey, here's an idea, start your own business. You can run that however you want. Just be careful about hiring employees who seek to undermine you. 

[catfeeder]

4 hours ago, Alex39 said:

No, that's my issue. I don't have time to re-watch a 30 minute video,  get all her daily tasks checked off, and I thought she hired me to do more marketing, as we discussed my skills and such a lot in the interview, and she wants to up her clientele, but there is no time for that in the schedule of things she has provided. 

So where did you find the time to draft up all those marketing campaigns?

She accepted 2 of them, so I don't understand the complaint. An ad agency would be happy with that.

You say you invested all of this time on these campaigns, yet if you don't have the time to learn and do your job effectively, why do that?

It just makes no sense, Alex. Sorry.

Invest the time you spend on the marketing into learning how to run circles around the technical aspects of your job. Then you'll feel more confident, and you'll feel more inspired about investing in the marketing side and also finding and testing ways to consolidate her tech side, which you can suggest after successful testing.

Once you demonstrate your competence in the basics, your new boss might be more open to your marketing suggestions. Meanwhile, grasp that this is PART TIME INCOME. Do this, or go make ice cream cones for the money, but the whining only adds difficulty to whatever you choose to do. Save that energy for cultivating a better social life on your own time, yes?

[boltnrun]

Instead of your (bad) habit of dredging up things to be upset about, how about deciding to write about things you are grateful for?

Not one or two sentences (in contrast to the long, detailed multiple paragraphs you write about what you dislike or feel contempt toward) but what you have that's good in your life. 

If you focus on negativity, guess how you'll feel?

[Alex39]

11 minutes ago, catfeeder said:

So where did you find the time to draft up all those marketing campaigns?

She accepted 2 of them, so I don't understand the complaint. An ad agency would be happy with that.

You say you invested all of this time on these campaigns, yet if you don't have the time to learn and do your job effectively, why would you do that?

It just makes no sense, Alex. Sorry.

I can elaborate. I rushed making the campaigns. I put a lot of thought and effort into them, but did it in a rushed capacity, because she gives me a checklist every shift. So I can't sit on too much stuff or my list piles up. I think my work was good. I think if I had a bit more flexibility and time, I could think more, brainstorm, identify what she wants more clearly, and produce even better work. I don't really have time to think long. Not saying my work has been bad at all. Marketing takes time. Doing graphic design sometimes could take me a half hour to an hour. She doesn't allot time for this. 

I'm confused because this owner loved what I did at the previous job. At the interview, she was all over what I could do. She was impressed.  She loved that I updated and designed the old woman's entire website. It looks fantastic still from what I did. This new woman loved that I up'd the old businesses sales and wanted me to help her do that. She liked that I did creative marketing and social media for the old business.

But she's giving me exact time coordinated instructions on very specific tasks, which doesn't allot for me to update or increase sales how I would do it, and have done it in the past.  I follow her every instruction to a T. I don't have an issue with it. I am just afraid she's going to be like- well I hired you because you increased sales at another business and now mine isn't up. She's telling me exactly how to do it. I didn't use any of the methods she's wanting me to employ in the past. I coordinated my own, which were successful. I don't have time to think or brainstorm even how to use her softwares more effectively,  because I have a to-do list to get through. 

This job doesn't allow for any creativity or thought out social media. No time to make plans or design fun promotions. 

None of it is how I would increase sales. I'm not doing any organic marketing or graphic/web design. I'm not updating her website or using social media as I have, which was successful.

I just don't want to let her down. I promised a lot of stuff. Stuff I know I can do. But the actual job doesn't leave time for any of that. 

[DarkCh0c0]

4 minutes ago, Alex39 said:

I just don't want to let her down. I promised a lot of stuff. Stuff I know I can do. But the actual job doesn't leave time for any of that. 

Can you have a talk with her about it? Like a good clear convo where you share just what you shared with us regarding increasing her business' income via your work. 

Maybe she's unaware of how things could be better done, and she could use a sit-down nudge. At least if you talk to her, you'll know where you stand and you can remove this promise pressure because she might not even want you to increase those sales numbers. Maybe she just wants you to get stuff done... Her style. 

[catfeeder]

2 minutes ago, Alex39 said:

I can elaborate. I rushed making the campaigns. I put a lot of thought and effort into them, but did it in a rushed capacity, because she gives me a checklist every shift. So I can't sit on too much stuff or my list piles up. I think my work was good. I think if I had a bit more flexibility and time, I could think more, brainstorm, identify what she wants more clearly, and produce even better work. I don't really have time to think long. Not saying my work has been bad at all. Marketing takes time. Doing graphic design sometimes could take me a half hour to an hour. She doesn't allot time for this. 

I'm confused because this owner loved what I did at the previous job. At the interview, she was all over what I could do. She was impressed.  She loved that I updated and designed the old woman's entire website. It looks fantastic still from what I did. This new woman loved that I up'd the old businesses sales and wanted me to help her do that. She liked that I did creative marketing and social media for the old business.

But she's giving me exact time coordinated instructions on very specific tasks, which doesn't allot for me to update or increase sales how I would do it, and have done it in the past.  I follow her every instruction to a T. I don't have an issue with it. I am just afraid she's going to be like- well I hired you because you increased sales at another business and now mine isn't up. She's telling me exactly how to do it. I didn't use any of the methods she's wanting me to employ in the past. I coordinated my own, which were successful. I don't have time to think or brainstorm even how to use her softwares more effectively,  because I have a to-do list to get through. 

This job doesn't allow for any creativity or thought out social media. No time to make plans or design fun promotions. 

None of it is how I would increase sales. I'm not doing any organic marketing or graphic/web design. I'm not updating her website or using social media as I have, which was successful.

I just don't want to let her down. I promised a lot of stuff. Stuff I know I can do. But the actual job doesn't leave time for any of that. 

Invest the time you spend on the marketing into learning how to run circles around the technical aspects of your job. Then you'll feel more confident, and you'll feel more inspired to invest in the marketing side later, and also possibly finding and testing ways to consolidate her tech side, which you can suggest after successful testing.

Once you demonstrate your competence in the basics, your new boss might be more open to your suggestions. Meanwhile, grasp that this is PART TIME INCOME. Do this, or go make ice cream cones for the money, but complaining only adds difficulty to whatever you choose to do. 

Your complaints are premature. Unless and until you've mastered the basics of a job, which on average takes up to 6 months, then reaching beyond that scope only adds unnecessary frustration--and for what payoff?

[Jaunty]

As a small business, sole proprietorship owner, I can tell you that it would be a cold day in hell when I or most of my cohorts would hire a new person to help out and immediately entrust them with tasks that would give their "creativity" free rein.   

Taste is a very personal thing and it's probably unlikely that you've happened to step into a situation where the owner's taste dovetails with your own.

Meanwhile, all the things you despise about this woman and her business, and your perception that her clients dislike her as well, and topped off with this one has child abusers employed instead of sex offenders - it seems like a no-brainer that you better hotfoot it out of there.

You don't need to be in an environment where you feel contemptuous all the time.  Your employer really doesn't need to have someone with such degrading opinions about them and what they've created with their business, either.  

You've written at length about what a gifted and  well trained fitness instructor you are. Why don't you just pick up some classes to teach?   Even if you look down at the owner of the gym and the other employees at least all you'd have to do is teach your classes and then go on home.   

Wouldn't that be a good idea?

[boltnrun]

1 minute ago, Jaunty said:

You don't need to be in an environment where you feel contemptuous all the time.

Unfortunately, Alex, this seems to be EVERY environment you're in. Also applies to everyone you encounter AND your family, friends, your brother's girlfriend, and on and on.

It's impossible that every single person you encounter is worthy of contempt, is a hapless, uninformed dimwit or does everything stupidly. Someone in your life has to be a decent and/or intelligent person.

[rainbowsandroses]

8 hours ago, Alex39 said:

I could answer all the messages with a more personal flair. 

8 hours ago, Alex39 said:

I don't think I think high enough of myself.

These two comments contradict.  Which is it? 

I mean you either have the confidence and frankly chutzpah to believe you could offer a certain "personal flair" to virtually everything you do OR you don't think highly of yourself.   

It can't be both.

Anyway, re the job and all the different programs.  I work in a small firm and we also have a different program for various tasks - one for billing, one for calendaring, one for emailing, one for marketing, etc etc.; I cannot even imagine doing these tasks utilizing the same program and would be curious to know what that program is?

My bosses have also expected me to be proactive and learn on my own.  I had no one to train me when I first started and I learned virtually everything on my own through video training and even through google.  There was also an office procedural manual I was expected to read and learn ON MY OWN.

Being proactive is a highly desirable trait in the business world and to expect someone to "hold your hand" through the process is typically not looked favorably upon.

I don't really have any advice other than if you need your hand held and are not capable of being proactive and learning on your own then perhaps this is not the right fit for you even if only part time.

And I do wish you luck going forward maintaining the attitude you currently have.  You  probably wouldn't be a good fit here either or any other firm I know of.

This is not meant to offend, I am only being real with you as I have many years working in various business settings.

And also, it might be worth your while to be open and flexible to different ways of thinking and performing your job.  You appear to be quite rigid and lack the flexibility required to become a valued employee and successful at whatever it is you choose to do.

Just my two cents, all the best.

 

[Batya33]

It could be as simple as she decided you should focus more on these technical aspects for now and doesn't need to communicate this to a part timer.  Are you on commission where you get paid based on revenue your marketing generates? Sounds like no so I wouldn't worry.  At most I'd send her a summary email every so often listing the completed tasks and those in progress, and ask if she wants you to shift focus partly or wholly to marketing -and if not you'll continue on with the to do list.  

And yes be proactive.  And if you have a question include either that you've researched the question elsewhere -google etc- and you think it is  "X" but  want to make sure.  Keep questions to a minimum and keep it collected in one email if non-urgent.  

I've been asked in numerous jobs to take care of tasks that weren't in my job description and/or weren't part of the interview.  So? I did them and if I was on deadline for a project I would tell my supervisor "I'm happy to take care of ___.  The ____ is due by end of business tomorrow.  Can your ____ wait till then or do you want me to have someone else handle the deadline? I've also offered to do stuff outside my job description -either to be helpful and/or to be helpful and learn something new.  People like flexibility, adaptibility, stepping up to fill a gap even if it's not typically what you do. With transparency as mentioned - people forget your other projects/deadlines or they might so communicate what you have on your plate already and how you've prioritized if there are deadlines/urgency.  

[LootieTootie]

First I think we have to be open-minded that not every job we land is gonna be a good fit. And if its not a good fit, its ok to move on. Both parties will survive.

Secondly, I don't think its a bad idea if you pitched your ideas. However I will warn you, be ready, you might not like the answer you get.

I only say this from my experience. Out of the dozens of bosses I have worked for, I think only 1 has ever said yes to my idea. Well she actually said "Do the research, determine the feasibility and if economically feasible, draft a plan how we would implement this." (I think her intention was to get me to be quiet and not bug her ever again about how archaic our billing was). And I did - on top of my standard work duties! I know I was doing all this after work hours and during weekends. I did not want to flounder this opportunity when a Boss actually didnt say No to my ideas. I loved it. 

So because of her, as a boss, I now pay it forward. I want to hear what my staff has to say when it comes to making x and y more efficient, more streamlined, more productive. I am opened to feedback, and have imcorporated some of staff's input in some of our processes. So who knows? Your boss might be willing to hear you out and actually apply some of your suggestions.

[MissCanuck]

I don't understand how you manage to even get through the day at work when all you do is look for problems and reasons to feel superior to everyone around you. 

 

[Jaunty]

@Alex39 - do you have any opinions about the feedback you're getting in response to your hyper-criticism of others and how they choose to do their lives?

The majority of your threads focus on this.   It seems that you never really address it.  You just continue to point out the things about whatever it is with the other people that you take issue with until the thread peters out or you have it closed.

What do you think about this?

[delmarvausa]

On 5/10/2024 at 9:22 PM, LootieTootie said:

First I think we have to be open-minded that not every job we land is gonna be a good fit. And if its not a good fit, its ok to move on. Both parties will survive

I think this is a brilliantly simple statement @LootieTootie 😊

 

Not everything is going to be perfect in life, nor the best possible fit, blend, or collaboration. If this was your main job @Alex39 I think you may want to give it more attention and consider if it's a long-term growth process or suitable career move. But the thing about part-time jobs is they are generally temporary and not something we identify with for the rest of our working years; they are meant to fill a need outside of our regular lives. It is possible to come in, do quality work to the best of our abilities, and then leave at the appropriate time. Doing one's best is always essential, however past your being a hard worker and quality employee, the long term future of this company is not technically in your hands. Fortunately, it seems as if your full-time job is a good fit and you are happy and challenged there. If I may offer a bit of advice, from someone who has been in your exact shoes, it would be to not overthink or second-guess every situation you find yourself in, because you may wind up becoming anxious and stressed simply over things which are not in your control. Wishing you all the best! ✨️👍💕