Is their any hope of getting out of the friendzone?

[Justanotheraccount]

I am 21 years old and currently in university, I met this one girl freshman year, she was beautiful but that year I came into school looking for friendships as I had a lackluster HS experience. She taught me how to drive and was overall a great person.

First semester sophmore year I decided to ask her out, it had been some time since she broken up with her bf for a while. I got told she wasn’t looking for a relationship let’s just be friends, but I decided to block her on everything, she got angry and threw a tantrum intront of our friends asking me why I unadd her on snap but I didn’t give in.

I unblocked her the very next year, but we didn’t hang out until the spring, we drank, smoked and hung out a lot, she would text me a lot and make efforts to see me often. Over the summer time one of her best friends was having a hotel bday party and she invited me. The first half was great and we were vibing, the second half was a nightmare we were in the same bed and she told me which side of the bed was mines, she autistic and doesn’t like touch but I thought this would be my moment. She was in a rush to leave in the morning, she threw up in the bathroom was trying to get me to leave but before we left I took her and her friend to McDonald’s and she sat in the backseat.

I was so confused and anxious after this, why would a girl who would let me borrow her car, stay up all night alone, steal for me, contact me often and always wanted to see me and say I was her only friend in a group of people she known since elementary act like this. I got anxious and took action into my own hands. I asked her out again and she said she’s not looking for a relationship and we’re friends, but I told her it would be best if we were not.

we haven’t talked until a couple of weeks ago, she messaged me she wanted to see my new pet but I didn’t reply. Something in my gut told me to download tinder and guess who was on there first week of school. I told her she can if she wants and posted a pic of her on tinder to which she said that was her.

She still made a attempt after that saying that she didn’t have any friends and wanted to see me at 10PM. I didn’t reply to 4 days later my response was “we already discussed this” she got mad and blocked me, saying that it was insane we couldn’t be friends just because she won’t date me. Despite her always trying to hang out after rejecting me.

my friends told me just to be friends and vibe with her, they said that relationships start with friendship, they asked me how many hours I even hanged out with her lol they said it was bad timing trying to rush someone into something they don’t want. I feel like contacting her again but I don’t know. If I give it awhile I know she will reach out.

I don’t get it I’m 6”3 not bad looking have a nice car in shape, but for some reason I can’t pull her and I’m madly in love with her. What do I do?

[Wiseman2]

5 minutes ago, Justanotheraccount said:

 I decided to block her on everything,  I don’t get it I’m 6”3 not bad looking have a nice car in shape, but for some reason I can’t pull her 

Unfortunately you treated her quite badly, so your height and car are irrelevant as far as this particular woman. Try to develop more refined social skills. 

[Justanotheraccount]

4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Unfortunately you treated her quite badly, so your height and car are irrelevant as far as this particular woman. Try to develop more refined social skills. 

That was 2 years ago, I developed a lot since that happend.

[Capricorn3]

I have a feeling the ship has sailed.  The way you treated her ... I wouldn't come back for more. (Sorry).  View it as a lesson learned.

[Kwothe28]

46 minutes ago, Justanotheraccount said:

my friends told me just to be friends and vibe with her, they said that relationships start with friendship

Yeah, no. She turned you off twice. She just doesnt like you in that way. Please dont be her friend because you essentially arent. Becuse you want to date her, not just be friends. Ironically you were somehow right about that the first time and just blocked her, but then you came back to her again and again. Just leave it alone this time.

As for why you cant "pull" her, well, I dunno why you think you can pull every girl. She maybe doesnt like you physically or even just got used to being friends with you so she cant see you as her boyfriend ever. Or any other million reasons why she wont date you. Again, you cant expect to pull every girl out there.

I also think its asinine that she expects you to just be cool and be her friend again just because she wants you as a friend. Not because she turned you down but because she knows you want more then that and cant expect you to be friends. But some people dont have a concept of that. She thinks that because she turned you down that you should just accept that and continue being a friend. Which isnt a realistic thing to happen. Again, just leave it alone.

[Wiseman2]

33 minutes ago, Justanotheraccount said:

 I developed a lot since that happend.

Apparently not if you are still trying to "pull her". Accept things for how they are. There's plenty of other women out there to date, so leave her alone.

[shouldhavelearned]

Possible

Usually not

[Justanotheraccount]

1 hour ago, Kwothe28 said:

Yeah, no. She turned you off twice. She just doesnt like you in that way. Please dont be her friend because you essentially arent. Becuse you want to date her, not just be friends. Ironically you were somehow right about that the first time and just blocked her, but then you came back to her again and again. Just leave it alone this time.

As for why you cant "pull" her, well, I dunno why you think you can pull every girl. She maybe doesnt like you physically or even just got used to being friends with you so she cant see you as her boyfriend ever. Or any other million reasons why she wont date you. Again, you cant expect to pull every girl out there.

I also think its asinine that she expects you to just be cool and be her friend again just because she wants you as a friend. Not because she turned you down but because she knows you want more then that and cant expect you to be friends. But some people dont have a concept of that. She thinks that because she turned you down that you should just accept that and continue being a friend. Which isnt a realistic thing to happen. Again, just leave it alone.

I forgot to add that one time when we were hanging out I tried to put her into one of my friends but she said she wasn’t looking for a relationship when I brought it up that was a couple of months before me asking her out. 
 

Do I still leave it alone?

[MissCanuck]

6 hours ago, Justanotheraccount said:

Do I still leave it alone?

Yes. 

She doesn't like you that way, so you need to stop trying. 

[Kwothe28]

7 hours ago, Justanotheraccount said:

Do I still leave it alone?

Yes!

To quote a favorite cartoon of your generation: Let it go!!!!

[Andrina]

A person can find someone attractive but not have romantic chemistry with them. It's immature to punish someone and take a tantrum and block them just because they turn down dating you. What you should have done was be mature and say something like,  "I've enjoyed our friendship, but with my crush, staying friends with you is too hard for me, and won't be fair to my future gf, so we can't be in contact any longer."

Then, you could part on good terms, and she could understand your point of view and accept the circumstances.

There's a reason for the saying, "When one door closes, another opens." This is the time of your life you're surrounded by hundreds of single women in your age group. You'll kick yourself in later years when the pool is far smaller and you think back on how much time you wasted on the one woman who's just not that into you.

[catfeeder]

You mentioned she’s autistic and doesn’t like touch, then you ran right away from that and made it all about you.

You mentioned she’d already turned down a prospect with someone else.

So at what point might it occur to you that she has limitations that you failed to consider and respect?

Everything is not about you.

[SooSad33]

Yup, many good points made here.

You want something more than 'friendship', and she doesn't.  Can you accept that?

If not, is best to just move on.  If you can't just be a friend, then you're not.

 

 

[smackie9]

When they keep saying they don't want a relationship that's them saying to leave them alone and to stop asking them out. 

You need to learn to be a gentleman, and to know proper boundaries. Stop being pushy. Do you have issues with understanding social cues? 

[Coily]

On 9/1/2023 at 6:14 PM, Justanotheraccount said:

I don’t get it I’m 6”3 not bad looking have a nice car in shape, but for some reason I can’t pull her and I’m madly in love with her. What do I do?

Irrelevant.

Unfortunately, you are deep into the friend-zone, there is no escape. Accept that.

On 9/1/2023 at 6:14 PM, Justanotheraccount said:

I got told she wasn’t looking for a relationship let’s just be friends, but I decided to block her on everything, she got angry and threw a tantrum in front of our friends asking me why I unadd her on snap but I didn’t give in.

She still made a attempt after that saying that she didn’t have any friends and wanted to see me at 10PM. I didn’t reply to 4 days later my response was “we already discussed this” she got mad and blocked me, saying that it was insane we couldn’t be friends just because she won’t date me. Despite her always trying to hang out after rejecting me.

Not sure why others ignored these passages, but to me this would be a huge red flag for spending time with someone. She is wanting to keep you on standby, an orbiter for her. She cannot seem to accept that you have unrequited feelings for her, nor is she willing to let you end the friendship; which seems a bit cruel.

The two of you are better off going your separate ways.