Question for the ladies. How many pics on a profile are enough?

[boltnrun]

52 minutes ago, lostandhurt said:

 I have noticed.  For some wearing their nice pajamas to Wally World is "looking good" while others won't run to the store without an hour of prep.

 Lost

Only an hour?

One of my friends got angry with the group we were traveling with because there was "only" three hours until we were due to attend an event (not a formal event either but a spectator sports event). She said no way could she be ready in "only" three hours.

I'm always bemused that some of my best friends are what they themselves dub "high maintenance girly girls". And I'm...most definitely not. 

Anyway, back on topic. If I saw profile pics that show the man participating in a sports event or attending one as a spectator I would be interested in learning more about him because I love sports. While a man who says he has no interest in sports would be a "no, thanks" for me. 

[JoyfulCompany]

10 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

I dont think your profile bio matters at all, almost nobody reads those.

No bio or "just ask" bio is a skip for me. 🙂
And a dozen of other no-no's.

Let see, I recently registered in an app just to check how I feel about dating again...

So, I liked a guy having a profile picture smiling, defending himself from a dog that is trying to lick him. Gives off a genuine, warm, fun vibe. Another picture someone has taken of him petting some other doggos. A few pictures in nature. A picture doing his hobby... 7 total, it's a bit too much, I didn't need more than 3-4. He's not super conventionally good looking but has a face I can remember. (Conversation went nowhere but I did like his profile - not too little, not too much.)

What makes a good impression (picture-wise) on me is:
 - pictures are not all from the same occasion (makes me think the guy has a life);
 - not all are selfies but 1-2 selfies are fine. I prefer if there's a picture taken from someone else and not necessarily a super posed one (makes me think the guy has some social circle);
 - preferably pictures are not of the lowest quality or too dark;
 - it makes me excited to see pictures from something I have interest in - hiking, travelling, concerts, boardgames, etc. Or some creative activity (makes it easier to start the conversation and you know you'll have at least 1 thing in common);
 - I do notice personal style as a character expression - for example a plain one colour well-fitting t-shirt and neat sneakers will typically win over a generic branded t-shirt or, god forbid - hawaiian shirt or shorts, etc. I also don't mind alternative looks because I'm kinda of a metalhead.

Absolutely no:
 - abs;
 - vehicles;
 - erections (yup, I've seen close ups of shorts);
 - pictures where a guy is hugging some woman - is it a friend, a sister, an ex, just bragging - I don't care enough to know;
 - sunglasses on every picture;

I'm 35.

[JoyfulCompany]

Forgot to say - good luck.
Hope you find decent and fun people out there... or whatever qualities you're looking for.

[Batya33]

I once cancelled a date -we had a first meet, no next date then ran into each other during the work day and he asked me out again - I figured ok.  A day later he changed his profile pic -this was in 2005 maybe -of him staring at his own naked torso -looking down at himself.  I told him I couldn't make it anymore - I was repulsed.

[lostandhurt]

18 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

I dont think your profile bio matters at all, almost nobody reads those. As for pictures the first one is important since you will be "judged" according to that one. The rest, so-so. Lots of them just hire a professional photographer. Who would do you a professional photo op. And pets photos rate highly. Some people even "borrow" pet for their dating app pics. 

What is your youtube channel about?

Well I have an awesome dog so no need to borrow one and I have more pics of him than of myself.  I read the profiles carefully so I like it when someone puts in some effort.

 My channel is custom car painting, mostly show car quality plus other auto related stuff.  One of the cars I painted a few years back has won an award at 3 car shows so far this year which is pretty nice.

Lost

[lostandhurt]

7 hours ago, boltnrun said:

Only an hour?

One of my friends got angry with the group we were traveling with because there was "only" three hours until we were due to attend an event (not a formal event either but a spectator sports event). She said no way could she be ready in "only" three hours.

I'm always bemused that some of my best friends are what they themselves dub "high maintenance girly girls". And I'm...most definitely not. 

Anyway, back on topic. If I saw profile pics that show the man participating in a sports event or attending one as a spectator I would be interested in learning more about him because I love sports. While a man who says he has no interest in sports would be a "no, thanks" for me. 

I was deeply in love with a woman like that but the thing is she was gorgeous without makeup.  With it on she was stunning to be sure but she was frequently late because she couldn't leave the house until her look was perfect.  I never could get her to accept just how beautiful she was.  We did go camping a lot and she did relax on the makeup thing a little but not all the way.

Lost

[lostandhurt]

7 hours ago, JoyfulCompany said:

No bio or "just ask" bio is a skip for me. 🙂
And a dozen of other no-no's.

Let see, I recently registered in an app just to check how I feel about dating again...

So, I liked a guy having a profile picture smiling, defending himself from a dog that is trying to lick him. Gives off a genuine, warm, fun vibe. Another picture someone has taken of him petting some other doggos. A few pictures in nature. A picture doing his hobby... 7 total, it's a bit too much, I didn't need more than 3-4. He's not super conventionally good looking but has a face I can remember. (Conversation went nowhere but I did like his profile - not too little, not too much.)

What makes a good impression (picture-wise) on me is:
 - pictures are not all from the same occasion (makes me think the guy has a life);
 - not all are selfies but 1-2 selfies are fine. I prefer if there's a picture taken from someone else and not necessarily a super posed one (makes me think the guy has some social circle);
 - preferably pictures are not of the lowest quality or too dark;
 - it makes me excited to see pictures from something I have interest in - hiking, travelling, concerts, boardgames, etc. Or some creative activity (makes it easier to start the conversation and you know you'll have at least 1 thing in common);
 - I do notice personal style as a character expression - for example a plain one colour well-fitting t-shirt and neat sneakers will typically win over a generic branded t-shirt or, god forbid - hawaiian shirt or shorts, etc. I also don't mind alternative looks because I'm kinda of a metalhead.

Absolutely no:
 - abs;
 - vehicles;
 - erections (yup, I've seen close ups of shorts);
 - pictures where a guy is hugging some woman - is it a friend, a sister, an ex, just bragging - I don't care enough to know;
 - sunglasses on every picture;

I'm 35.

Great thanks for your input, very helpful.  I am definitely a casual guy so I use pics that show who I am.  I do have a pool table in my game room so I will look for a pic of me playing pool.  I do like clothes that fit well so for sure that will be easy enough.

I agree crappy pics that far away or dark make me think you are hiding something.

Thanks again

Lost

[lostandhurt]

6 hours ago, JoyfulCompany said:

Forgot to say - good luck.
Hope you find decent and fun people out there... or whatever qualities you're looking for.

Thanks, I know what I am looking for and can usually feel it early on so that is a plus.

Lost

[Capricorn3]

I unfortunately don't have anything of value to add (as I've been out of the dating game for like a 100 years already and boy, times have changed a lot, lol). BUT, that said, I just wanted to wish you well in all your endeavors and hope you find what you're looking for.

[lostandhurt]

11 hours ago, Capricorn3 said:

I unfortunately don't have anything of value to add (as I've been out of the dating game for like a 100 years already and boy, times have changed a lot, lol). BUT, that said, I just wanted to wish you well in all your endeavors and hope you find what you're looking for.

Thank you very much, I appreciate that.  I am a veteran of online dating unfortunately but take long breaks in between. I have a great life and would like to share it with someone special.

Finding that person is the hard part.

Lost

[waffle]

On 8/2/2023 at 5:11 AM, Kwothe28 said:

I dont think your profile bio matters at all, almost nobody reads those. As for pictures the first one is important since you will be "judged" according to that one. The rest, so-so. Lots of them just hire a professional photographer. Who would do you a professional photo op.

I have also heard that a lot of women will apply filters to their pictures. 

 

[Batya33]

2 hours ago, lostandhurt said:

Thank you very much, I appreciate that.  I am a veteran of online dating unfortunately but take long breaks in between. I have a great life and would like to share it with someone special.

Finding that person is the hard part.

Lost

I wanted to add that I wish you all the best in this and hopefully fun times too!

[Kwothe28]

21 hours ago, JoyfulCompany said:

No bio or "just ask" bio is a skip for me. 🙂
And a dozen of other no-no's.

Yeah, but lots of people just see pics and nothing more. I like to read bios but from what I saw, majority of women has no bios(I dunno about men part of dating apps from obvious reasons lol). Nore do they read them. They just dont need it. Men would swipe on them regardless based on photos. Most of them just has a few interests checked(Netflix, walking, coffee etc) and that is it. Just dont think bio is that important as quality of photos sadly.

Lots of them(at my behest) even complain in bios. OK I appreciate that you dont want married or taken men to contact you(hint: They still will, they dont read bios or just dont care) but that doesnt really tell me anything about you. Write something you like to do for example, its much better for conversation then just you complaining about married men contacting you. 

43 minutes ago, waffle said:

I have also heard that a lot of women will apply filters to their pictures. 

 

Again, lots of them act like its Instagram. Even have an Instagram link to profile to gather followers there. Filters, bikini pics on exotic destinations with palm trees, you name it, its there. Maybe Lost age group is different. I would imagine that my age group is more "in tune" with social media and acts in such way. But mine(which is also not very young but still millenials) acts like its Instagram. 

[Sally .C.]

This is a difficult question as some will feel differently than others. However, when I was online dating about 8 years ago...I would say 4 pictures is good & enough, 6 pictures is more than enough.

2 or 3 that are good 'headshots', 2 or 3 that show the sort of things you're into.

Good luck!

[waffle]

1 hour ago, Kwothe28 said:

Again, lots of them act like its Instagram. Even have an Instagram link to profile to gather followers there. Filters, bikini pics on exotic destinations with palm trees, you name it, its there. Maybe Lost age group is different. I would imagine that my age group is more "in tune" with social media and acts in such way. But mine(which is also not very young but still millenials) acts like its Instagram. 

Gen Xer here and I would liken OLD to a cross between OnlyFans and a Vegas Hooker Lineup.

[lostandhurt]

2 hours ago, waffle said:

I have also heard that a lot of women will apply filters to their pictures. 

 

Some are not hard to spot.  They look blurry or their complexion looks weird.  Snapchat filters are used extensively unfortunately. Bunny ears, funny noses and the like.  Cute but I am not looking to date a cartoon character.

Lost

[lostandhurt]

36 minutes ago, Sally .C. said:

This is a difficult question as some will feel differently than others. However, when I was online dating about 8 years ago...I would say 4 pictures is good & enough, 6 pictures is more than enough.

2 or 3 that are good 'headshots', 2 or 3 that show the sort of things you're into.

Good luck!

I think 4 would be my limit although I have used more in the past but they would be of my dog or a place I was hiking in the mountains.  I figured some of them would give the woman something to comment about or message me about.  It worked more than a few times.

  Thank you for your help

Lost

[lostandhurt]

2 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

Yeah, but lots of people just see pics and nothing more. I like to read bios but from what I saw, majority of women has no bios(I dunno about men part of dating apps from obvious reasons lol). Nore do they read them. They just dont need it. Men would swipe on them regardless based on photos. Most of them just has a few interests checked(Netflix, walking, coffee etc) and that is it. Just dont think bio is that important as quality of photos sadly.

Lots of them(at my behest) even complain in bios. OK I appreciate that you dont want married or taken men to contact you(hint: They still will, they dont read bios or just dont care) but that doesnt really tell me anything about you. Write something you like to do for example, its much better for conversation then just you complaining about married men contacting you. 

Again, lots of them act like its Instagram. Even have an Instagram link to profile to gather followers there. Filters, bikini pics on exotic destinations with palm trees, you name it, its there. Maybe Lost age group is different. I would imagine that my age group is more "in tune" with social media and acts in such way. But mine(which is also not very young but still millenials) acts like its Instagram. 

The thing about the bio is that it tells me something. 

No bio makes me think they think they are so attractive all they have to do is put a few pics. It also makes me think they don't have much substance in their lives.

Complainers or the dreaded list make me think they are negative and looking for fault.

I usually attract younger women so yes it can be a bit like Instagram but even women my exact age can get caught up in IG and it bleeds over into their profile.  Not a huge issue unless social media is a big part of their identity.

 I read the bios for clues whether to take a pass or not no matter how hot they are.

 Lost

[catfeeder]

43 minutes ago, lostandhurt said:

The thing about the bio is that it tells me something.
 

Absolutely. Why expend effort on anyone who won’t make an effort?

[Andrina]

The last time I did OLD more than a decade ago, I put 7 pictures up, but I guess most say that's too much. It had nothing to do with being in love with myself. I just know one can look a little different in each photo, and I didn't want a man to be surprised, in a bad way, if I was especially photogenic in that "one" main photo and didn't also show the wider range. Even with all that effort, one guy said I looked different than my photos: "Not better, not worse, just different."

I did body shots and closer shots, many within 6 months and none more than a year old. And yeah, as another poster said, it's best to have the photos without sunglasses. For some strange reason, many people look a lot better with sunglasses, so it's best not to have a date be unpleasantly surprised if they don't like your face sans sunglasses.

Good if you have a buddy who puts you in a good mood and makes you laugh to take your photos. I used to have a friend who took great photos of me because she had me in that sort of mood, instead of like asking a waitress to take a photo of you in the restaurant, whom you'll be looking at without a warm and fuzzy feeling since she's a stranger.

Good luck and let us know how it goes!

[Starlight925]

The last guy I dated only had 2 pics, both of which were enough to hook me:  one with his adult kids, and the other in a baseball cap, just with his son.  Casual but enough to show me enough of who he was, which was a great dad who also enjoyed sports.  

I kept viewing his profile until he finally wrote to me (I know, I know, I should have written first).  He sent me a quick message, and we messaged back & forth while I was in a parking lot, waiting on another match.  He asked me to meet the next day for lunch.  That quick.   None of this days, weeks of endless texting.

My point is, you don't need a ton of pics.

And today's swipe-natured apps require very little in the profile department.  Back in the day, we'd spend hours writing the "perfect" profile; there were even professional profile writers.  

Today, it's short & sweet:  if it's a swipe match, then speak up soon.  

Never say "what's up" or any of the other mind-numbing things, which women get a ton of.

"Hi, I noticed you like biking.  Me too!  What's your favorite trail?" etc.

[lostandhurt]

14 hours ago, Andrina said:

The last time I did OLD more than a decade ago, I put 7 pictures up, but I guess most say that's too much. It had nothing to do with being in love with myself. I just know one can look a little different in each photo, and I didn't want a man to be surprised, in a bad way, if I was especially photogenic in that "one" main photo and didn't also show the wider range. Even with all that effort, one guy said I looked different than my photos: "Not better, not worse, just different."

I did body shots and closer shots, many within 6 months and none more than a year old. And yeah, as another poster said, it's best to have the photos without sunglasses. For some strange reason, many people look a lot better with sunglasses, so it's best not to have a date be unpleasantly surprised if they don't like your face sans sunglasses.

Good if you have a buddy who puts you in a good mood and makes you laugh to take your photos. I used to have a friend who took great photos of me because she had me in that sort of mood, instead of like asking a waitress to take a photo of you in the restaurant, whom you'll be looking at without a warm and fuzzy feeling since she's a stranger.

Good luck and let us know how it goes!

I have been pleasantly surprised on some dates where the woman looks much prettier than in her pics.  Speaking of sunglasses I once was on a first meet with an attractive woman and she walked up to me with her sunglasses on, greeted me and we went inside for a drink.  She sat down and didn't take them off. After about 5 minutes I asked her if she was going to take them off and she reluctantly did.  That was the only time I saw her, she was pretty but her personality didn't match her looks.

Thank you for he help and suggestions

Lost

[lostandhurt]

11 hours ago, Starlight925 said:

The last guy I dated only had 2 pics, both of which were enough to hook me:  one with his adult kids, and the other in a baseball cap, just with his son.  Casual but enough to show me enough of who he was, which was a great dad who also enjoyed sports.  

I kept viewing his profile until he finally wrote to me (I know, I know, I should have written first).  He sent me a quick message, and we messaged back & forth while I was in a parking lot, waiting on another match.  He asked me to meet the next day for lunch.  That quick.   None of this days, weeks of endless texting.

My point is, you don't need a ton of pics.

And today's swipe-natured apps require very little in the profile department.  Back in the day, we'd spend hours writing the "perfect" profile; there were even professional profile writers.  

Today, it's short & sweet:  if it's a swipe match, then speak up soon.  

Never say "what's up" or any of the other mind-numbing things, which women get a ton of.

"Hi, I noticed you like biking.  Me too!  What's your favorite trail?" etc.

I actually have to make sure I don't write to long of a message and keep it short and sweet mentioning something about their profile and end with a question. I usually have about a 40% respond rate which  is pretty good I guess.

I do like to meet sooner than later or at least talk on the phone to save time and frustration.

Thanks for the help and advice.

Lost

[Occifer_Onion]

I say 4 or 5. I don't like when guys post more than that because it takes forever to look at them all and sort through the profiles. If there's only one, it looks fishy, like it might be a scammer. If you start chatting, she can always ask for more pics if she wants them.