Abstaining from sex

[steve81]

Hey there I know it's not the best option but me and my wife are on our third pregnancy scare. We are horrible at practicing safe sex. 2 kids unplanned and she is late for her period. We are obviously not mature enough to have sex would taking sex off the table be a good decision. 

[boltnrun]

Why would you need to abstain? You can get a vasectomy if you don't want more kids (and your "equipment" will work just fine afterward, I promise). If you want more kids sometime in the future, your wife can get an IUD and you can use condoms.

Choosing not to be proactive about birth control is just that, a choice. Either be responsible about using birth control, get a vasectomy or just keep having kids. Your choice. 

[steve81]

2 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Why would you need to abstain? You can get a vasectomy if you don't want more kids (and your "equipment will work just fine afterward, I promise). If you want more kids sometime in the future, your wife can get an IUD and you can use condoms.

Choosing not to be proactive about birth control is just that, a choice. Either be responsible about using birth control, get a vasectomy or just keep having kids. Your choice. 

We dont want more kids we have condoms they never get used. Immature i know just being honest.  

[bluecastle]

7 minutes ago, steve81 said:

we have condoms they never get used.

Okay, so how about exploring a vasectomy (reversible), IUD, tube tying (not), and so on. There are numerous forms of birth control that require a minor procedure and then zero "responsibility." Seems a lot more realistic than going full monk. 

[steve81]

2 minutes ago, bluecastle said:

Okay, so how about exploring a vasectomy (reversible), IUD, tube tying (not), and so on. There are numerous forms of birth control that require a minor procedure and then zero "responsibility." Seems a lot more realistic than going full monk. 

Her sister mentioned to her about getting steralized. We havw to look into what is covered i guess. 

[Batya33]

38 minutes ago, steve81 said:

Her sister mentioned to her about getting steralized. We havw to look into what is covered i guess. 

Yup. I guess. Lol.  What’s stopping you from going online today or calling your insurance provider and asking?

[lostandhurt]

How old you you two?

Birth control isn't rocket science so there has to be something that will work for you.

 Not sure where you live but I am sure there is a clinic nearby that can sit down with you both and discuss your options.

In the meantime yes abstaining from sex until you can get something in place is probably a good idea.

 Lost

[boltnrun]

Vasectomies are super easy. Much less invasive than female sterilization. It's a simple procedure that's done in the doctor's office.

No, you won't become impotent and they will not cut your nuts off.

[steve81]

5 minutes ago, lostandhurt said:

How old you you two?

Birth control isn't rocket science so there has to be something that will work for you.

 Not sure where you live but I am sure there is a clinic nearby that can sit down with you both and discuss your options.

In the meantime yes abstaining from sex until you can get something in place is probably a good idea.

 Lost

I am 

 

Just now, boltnrun said:

Vasectomies are super easy. Much less invasive than female sterilization. It's a simple procedure that's done in the doctor's office.

No, you won't become impotent and they will not cut your nuts off.

 

We are both looking into getting steralized. Thats the first thing i asked if i will be casttated lolol. 

[steve81]

I am 32 she is 33 we are going to see what options we have. We are trying to abstain until then. 

[boltnrun]

1 minute ago, steve81 said:

I am 

 

 

We are both looking into getting steralized. Thats the first thing i asked if i will be casttated lolol. 

Jeez.

No, they do not "castrate" you. Where are you getting these ideas?

My former husband had a vasectomy. After I was divorced I dated a man who also had a vasectomy. Both of them were having sex within a few days of the procedure. Zero impact on their sex drive or ability to perform. 

[steve81]

Im going to look into it i hope she is not pregnant though. 

[Seraphim]

If she missed her period hit up dollar tree and get a test. Ignoring it won’t make it go away. 

[steve81]

12 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

If she missed her period hit up dollar tree and get a test. Ignoring it won’t make it go away. 

Her period is 3 days late!!! She said shw woke up crampy but nothing yet. 

[Seraphim]

9 minutes ago, steve81 said:

Her period is 3 days late!!! She said shw woke up crampy but nothing yet. 

You can test even 6 days early never mind 3 days late. I have gotten a positive 4 days early . 

[steve81]

Ok we will get a couple tests after work today. And hope they are negative lol. 

[Wiseman2]

41 minutes ago, steve81 said:

Im going to look into it i hope she is not pregnant though. 

Do you both work? Have health insurance? She can get a pregnancy test at any store. You two both need to see your physicians and get some accurate advice about contraception and sterilization. You'll have to talk to your insurance company about what's covered.

[HeartGoesOn]

If you're responsible enough to be having sex, you should already have these options in place without question.

Hopefully this is a legitimate post, and you're not playing us.

[Kwothe28]

There, one motivational message for you

You both are 30+. If you cant practice safe sex in modern times where there are multiple options for both, then get a vasectomy or dont practice sex at all.

[steve81]

25 minutes ago, HeartGoesOn said:

If you're responsible enough to be having sex, you should already have these options in place without question.

Hopefully this is a legitimate post, and you're not playing us.

Im not playing anyone and thats why i said should we abstain. 

[steve81]

16 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

There, one motivational message for you

You both are 30+. If you cant practice safe sex in modern times where there are multiple options for both, then get a vasectomy or dont practice sex at all.

Lol that is definetly us sex is off the table now. 

[Wiseman2]

8 minutes ago, steve81 said:

l that is definetly us sex is off the table now. 

Well, if she is pregnant again, you won't have to use birth control for a few months. So look at the bright side. Meanwhile, research vasectomies.

 

[steve81]

1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said:

Well, if she is pregnant again, you won't have to use birth control for a few months. So look at the bright side. Meanwhile, research vasectomies.

 

Yes if she is pregnant we will put sex back in play. I am going to look into a vasectomy or her getting her tubes tied. 

[boltnrun]

I find it somewhat amusing you thought a vasectomy involved castration. I would think the sex ed provided at your school would have covered that.

It's a simple procedure.

[steve81]

1 minute ago, boltnrun said:

I find it somewhat amusing you thought a vasectomy involved castration. I would think the sex ed provided at your school would have covered that.

It's a simple procedure.

I was being funny i didnt mean anything by it.