Abstaining from sex

[boltnrun]

Just now, steve81 said:

I was being funny i didnt mean anything by it.

Oh, that's a relief!

[steve81]

27 minutes ago, steve81 said:

Lol that is definetly us sex is off the table now. 

She hasnt been in a great mood but i texted her that pic. She laughed and said dont worry he is off!!! Lol

[Cynder]

This can't be real.  At least I hope it isn't. 

As someone who was an accident, I really feel for your kids. 

[steve81]

1 minute ago, Cynder said:

This can't be real.  At least I hope it isn't. 

As someone who was an accident, I really feel for your kids. 

It is real we have 2 unplanned pregnancies. Her sister said the same thing. 

[Cynder]

3 hours ago, steve81 said:

It is real we have 2 unplanned pregnancies. Her sister said the same thing. 

Also as someone who's been through it... if this post is serious, please don't ever tell them they were unplanned or that you didn't want them.  That will mess them up. 

[steve81]

4 minutes ago, Cynder said:

Also as someone who's been through it... if this post is serious, please don't ever tell them they were unplanned or that you didn't want them.  That will mess them up. 

I would never do that to my kids thats not what this is about. Just because we are iresponible and immature i dont blame my kids. 

[Batya33]

10 hours ago, steve81 said:

I would never do that to my kids thats not what this is about. Just because we are iresponible and immature i dont blame my kids. 

It's not "blame" -it's different- don't tell your kids they were "oopsies" or accidents or if you do it's because -if this is true - it was unplanned but then joyous once you realize.  What do you even mean "blame" - someone would blame their kids for being born? Your playing around with words like that is like the other playing around you've done on this thread while you go ahead creating children who are "unplanned" - perhaps consider there are many families out there who would love to take an unplanned baby and raise that baby in a loving home where they're thrilled to adopt.

[steve81]

9 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

It's not "blame" -it's different- don't tell your kids they were "oopsies" or accidents or if you do it's because -if this is true - it was unplanned but then joyous once you realize.  What do you even mean "blame" - someone would blame their kids for being born? Your playing around with words like that is like the other playing around you've done on this thread while you go ahead creating children who are "unplanned" - perhaps consider there are many families out there who would love to take an unplanned baby and raise that baby in a loving home where they're thrilled to adopt.

What do you mean playing around?

[Batya33]

Just now, steve81 said:

What do you mean playing around?

Your responses to this serious situation -you're having kids while immature and irresponsible - come across as flippant quite a bit.

[Wiseman2]

21 hours ago, steve81 said:

. 2 kids unplanned and she is late for her period. 

That's silly. Before contraception, condoms and reproductive technologies, everyone was "unplanned". Makes no difference.

If neither of you uses contraception, obviously they were "planned" unless you got married before someone told you about the birds and bees and that the babies don't really come from the cabbage patch. 

[steve81]

10 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Your responses to this serious situation -you're having kids while immature and irresponsible - come across as flippant quite a bit.

I dont mean to come.across as that thats not my intention. 

[boltnrun]

What Wiseman said is true. You have to know if you have sex and don't use contraception the result will be pregnancy. So each time you and your wife had sex and didn't use birth control you knew it was possible she'd get pregnant. So in that way the kids were not "unplanned". 

I hope if you don't want anymore kids you see your doctor before having sex again. 

[steve81]

3 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

What Wiseman said is true. You have to know if you have sex and don't use contraception the result will be pregnancy. So each time you and your wife had sex and didn't use birth control you knew it was possible she'd get pregnant. So in that way the kids were not "unplanned". 

I hope if you don't want anymore kids you see your doctor before having sex again. 

I know we knew what we were doing i mean the baby wasnt planned like hey lets have a baby but i see his side. And yes sex is fully off the table here no question there at all. 

[Crawfords Wine]

22 hours ago, steve81 said:

We have to look into what is covered i guess. 

 

21 hours ago, steve81 said:

Im going to look into it i hope she is not pregnant though. 

 

18 hours ago, steve81 said:

Yes if she is pregnant we will put sex back in play. I am going to look into a vasectomy or her getting her tubes tied. 

Dude, what's with the 'I'm going to' attitude? You clearly have access to the internet, so the information is literally at your finger tips. What's with the cavalier approach and the immature procrastination tactics?

Why are you here lolol'ing around, snickering about your gonads? Have you and your wife ever had any sex-ed whatsoever? Two kids in, and you still seem to be wandering around like a clueless teenager when it comes to sexual health and pregnancy. It's not a good look, dude, it really isn't.

Having and raising kids is serious business. You can't keep adding to the ones you already have because you seem incapable of discussing and sorting out some form of contraception with your wife. To abstain from sex altogether is an absolute fool's errand, it's the sort of resolution that gets forgotten about and goes straight out of the window when one or the other gets the horns...

So for the love of gravy, get something more solid in place. Get of your backside and make an appointment with a sexual health clinic or GP and discuss your options. 

 

[steve81]

She got her period!!!

[boltnrun]

17 minutes ago, steve81 said:

She got her period!!!

That's good news.

Have you made an appointment with your doctor to talk about a vasectomy?

Seriously, dude, it's a totally easy procedure done in your doctor's office. You go home, put a bag of frozen peas on your sack if you need it, take some Advil, and in a few days you go back and give the doctor a sample to make sure you're not spitting out sperm anymore. Then once that's done you and your wife can have all the sex you want without ever having to worry about knocking her up. It's so liberating. 

[steve81]

2 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

That's good news.

Have you made an appointment with your doctor to talk about a vasectomy?

Seriously, dude, it's a totally easy procedure done in your doctor's office. You go home, put a bag of frozen peas on your sack if you need it, take some Advil, and in a few days you go back and give the doctor a sample to make sure you're not spitting out sperm anymore. Then once that's done you and your wife can have all the sex you want without ever having to worry about knocking her up. It's so liberating. 

I called and made an appointment 

[boltnrun]

1 minute ago, steve81 said:

I called and made an appointment 

That's awesome, good for you.

Oh, and BTW, you will still, um, "produce" ejaculate. You can't even tell the sperm isn't there. 

[steve81]

1 minute ago, boltnrun said:

That's awesome, good for you.

Oh, and BTW, you will still, um, "produce" ejaculate. You can't even tell the sperm isn't there. 

We were on google all night looking up different methods. We need to prove to everyone now. Her sister is disappointed that this is a issue at our age. 

[boltnrun]

Just now, steve81 said:

We were on google all night looking up different methods. We need to prove to everyone now. Her sister is disappointed that this is a issue at our age. 

Um, no. This is none of her sister's business. Unless you two have been asking her sister (or anyone else) for money to support your kids or been asking her to babysit a lot.

[steve81]

2 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Um, no. This is none of her sister's business. Unless you two have been asking her sister (or anyone else) for money to support your kids or been asking her to babysit a lot.

I know its none of her business my wife vents to her that i know and guilty on the babysitting and borrowing money!!!! 

[boltnrun]

15 minutes ago, steve81 said:

I know its none of her business my wife vents to her that i know and guilty on the babysitting and borrowing money!!!! 

Oh boy.

That has to stop. She (and anyone else) is not responsible for financially supporting or caring for the children you chose to have.

Please follow through with the vasectomy. It's the best choice IMO. 

[steve81]

Just now, boltnrun said:

Oh boy.

That has to stop. She (and anyone else) is not responsible for financially supporting or caring for the children you chose to have.

Please follow through with the vasectomy. It's the best choice IMO. 

I am following through with it thats why we are abstaining now. We have been talking about all of this. She did alot of complaining to her sister who now feels she has authority. 

[Wiseman2]

Just now, steve81 said:

I am following through with it thats why we are abstaining now. 

Talk to your physician. If you get a vasectomy, you'll still need contraception until you get tested after the procedure. So stock up on condoms, pregnancy tests and plan b kits in the meantime.

[steve81]

3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Talk to your physician. If you get a vasectomy, you'll still need contraception until you get tested after the procedure. So stock up on condoms, pregnancy tests and plan b kits in the meantime.

Thank you yes we have a list of things we need lol.