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 I have a slight extended family just come  down to stay with us for about 3 days . They did stay in the hotel because our house has a unique living situation. The relatives all have pets but they all married or have other people to taker care of the pets while they're away.. they literally love my dog and comment on how well behave she is and what a wonderful dog she is. They invite me regularly to their vacation home. I told them I would very much like to visit and spend time I'd be willing to board her. She is a German shepherd

 Boarding her would cost about at y 50 bucks a day

Surprising to me they said my dog wasn't welcome Even she is super dog friendly she loves them she loves kids she loves everyone. I would leave her at the hotel or I would actually love to take her with me everywhere I go. They have brought their dogs to my house. I know I have to respect their wishes but, I don't know I just feel kind of weird so do I have to spend hundreds of dollars to board my dog and go visit them which they desire or just bow out. They say they just don't want to deal with the dog. They invite me on a regular basis so I have been assertive  can board her  or maybe I can't because of money issues and I told them but I mentioned I  just may have to take her along and I  was told that's not an option so what do I do?

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4 hours ago, tufntender said:

 I can't because of money issues and I told them but I mentioned I  just may have to take her along and I  was told that's not an option so what do I do?

That's ok. They invited you, not your dog, so you have options.

Don't go or find someone to take care of the dog while you are away.

It's rude to accept an invitation then modify it according to your pet and budget.

You don't need to take a vacation, so don't go.

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Why are you telling them you can board her if you’d rather not? I wouldn’t leave a dog in a hotel room all day. It’s penny wise/pound foolish if it destroys hotel property and you end up having to pay more in damages than boarding her. 

These people don’t sound all too pleasant or welcoming to me. If you choose to go I’d find a friend or family member to care for her or a neighbour she can stay with. I personally wouldn’t bother. They hardly sound like “family” and are quite hypocritical bringing their dogs to your home and not returning or extending the invitation or welcome the other way to your dog. 

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7 hours ago, tufntender said:

 They did stay in the hotel because our house has a unique living situation. The relatives all have pets but they all married or have other people to taker care of the pets while they're away.

But you did not have them or their dogs as overnight guests for days.

Be reasonable. Decline thier invitation since you can not make appropriate plans for your pet.

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I think that part of your problem is that you are not being very straightforward with them that you and your dog are a package deal. You are telling them that you can board your pup and then hinting that maybe you can't. Pick a path and be blunt. Can board her or maybe I can't is the opposite of being assertive - you are being confusing.

If they tell you no way you can't bring your pup, then you decline their invitations to go visit with them and tell them directly why - I have no one to care for my dog but myself. If the dog can't go, neither can I. Say it directly like that.

Also, going to echo @Rose Mosse that they seem to be two faced. Instead of telling them how much you would love to whatever, maybe it's time to distance yourself a bit.

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I pay $100/day to have our dog sitter watch them, but that's cuz I know she dotes on them the entire time.  It's the cost of having puppers.  I wouldn't take it personally.  They rent out their vacation homes the other times, and the cost of cleaning and insurance goes way up with pets are brought. So either decline, or ask friends and family to come watch, or don't go.

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Consider checking with family and friends for recommendations of a trustworthy person who can live in your home to care for the dog while you travel.

Or, consider that most people I know who've boarded their dogs speak of how excited their dogs are to go back to that place. Apparently they have loved it.

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What I read from your post is that your family have other people to take care of their dogs while they are visiting you and that their dogs don’t come to your place, but correct me if I am wrong. Because if they bring their dogs to you and you are not allowed to bring your dog when you visit them, that would be a double standard.

Otherwise, I think this just the consequence of having a dog. You have a dog you need to take care of her and if you can’t bring her every place you go, you either don’t go or you need to find a solution which costs money.

 

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28 minutes ago, Blue_Skirt said:

What I read from your post is that your family have other people to take care of their dogs while they are visiting you and that their dogs don’t come to your place, but correct me if I am wrong. Because if they bring their dogs to you and you are not allowed to bring your dog when you visit them, that would be a double standard.

That is what I thought at first but then OP said this ......

On 3/23/2022 at 2:32 AM, tufntender said:

Surprising to me they said my dog wasn't welcome ........ They have brought their dogs to my house.

Agree with this .....

34 minutes ago, Blue_Skirt said:

Otherwise, I think this just the consequence of having a dog. You have a dog you need to take care of her and if you can’t bring her every place you go, you either don’t go or you need to find a solution which costs money.

Dogs are a full on commitment one way or another.

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Not a dog owner. I would assume not all dogs are alike and not all homes are alike so just because you’ve accommodated their dogs doesn’t mean it’s reciprocal. Maybe their dogs are trained to not go in certain places in the home and yours isn’t. Maybe their home can’t easily accommodate another dog.

I have a child. I’ve had kids over my place and if I was told I couldn’t bring my child to something I’d want to know why or hope they would tell me like “we have a gun we can’t lock up” or “we have pets we’re afraid would bother your child “ or “my husband sleeps during the afternoon so we can’t have another child at the house “

If I invited someone to my home or a restaurant I wouldn’t be also inviting their dog.  If they asked I’d say yes to the restaurant if I’d feel comfortable eating outside - not if it was really cold - then I’d suggest rescheduling or meeting for a brisk walk outside .  I’ve done that to accommodate my friends who won’t leave their dogs alone for a few hours. I’d say no to my home.

Many parents pay sitters to go to places that aren’t kid friendly. Or they decide they cannot go. We’ve declined adults only invites because we didn’t want to leave our child with a sitter. I wasn’t upset it was adults only. These people are making it “people only “ other than their pets. It’s their house. 

Edited by Batya33
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From one GSD owner to another, they're high energy dogs also with high prey drives. I would never leave a GSD or dog alone with small children and especially other smaller pets including smaller dogs. Your dog may seem friendly to you or to other humans but other animals and small children may be a different matter. I can think of many reasons why they wouldn't be comfortable having your dog over but it still doesn't mean they're people worth visiting if you really aren't feeling like it. 

I think you need to get straight with yourself about whether you want to go or not. I'm getting the feeling that you don't actually like these people if you're not honest with them about your boarding situation or are feeling like you have to pretend you have the means to board your dog when you don't. Why can't you be yourself around them? That puzzles me. Don't go if it's too complicated or make alternate plans.

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I am late to respond to this post, but just had this situation happened to me. My sister and BIL (along with their 5 yr old) invited me and my husband to stay with them at a resort for 3 days (this was a resort out in the mountains and ocean). I asked if it was pet friendly and they said no. So we said no without blinking. We could book another pet-friendly hotel but that costs too much money so we just said no. It didn't rub them the wrong way but they did pause to think about our quick answer.

My advice is to know where you stand when it comes to your dog, and be reasonable about it. Our dog is a family member and if its outdoor area we are going to be in most of the time, we want our dog to hike and swim with us too. And if it's to someone's house, we always ask if we can bring our dog and know that some people don't like pets in their house.

NEVER leave your dog alone in a hotel room. Most, if not all, hotels will not allow it. 

 

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