How to seduce an older(and kinda popular) man?

[Wiseman2]

12 hours ago, wealthydior said:

 For me this is a game and he will be my victim. 

That's funny. Your fantasy is like a video game.

Your BF just dumped you so now this fantasy is your diversion.

However you seem in touch with reality enough to know you're just another fan.

[wealthydior]

It’s funny how you answer before reading my replies. I dumped my bf because he was boring. What I want is someone whom I can feel alive with.

I don’t want to be his fan. He is not that famous. I have more followers than him on IG. When I said “rockstar’s gf” I meant that busy life. Like touring with them etc. And by touring they just perform in two cities. I want to be clear because you seem to think that he is so busy but no.

Sometimes I started liking a person after an action or phrase or sentence. It’s too pathetic to say that “you can’t make him like you”. I did that so many times so why can’t I do it again?

[Blue_Skirt]

5 minutes ago, wealthydior said:

When I said “rockstar’s gf” I meant that busy life. Like touring with them etc.

And how are YOU going to make your money while touring with the rockstar?

[Wiseman2]

21 minutes ago, wealthydior said:

When I said “rockstar’s gf” I meant that busy life. Like touring with them etc.

Can you get a job as a roadie for the band? That's a step up from being a fan, no? Maybe it will segue into a promotion to groupie?

 

[Rose Mosse]

On 3/5/2022 at 2:10 PM, wealthydior said:

I have received almost nothing from you guys. Come on like all you said were either ask him on a date or give him up. Don’t you know anything about flirting game? I just wanted you guys to gave me an examples of the striking sentences, phrases, actions that I could use towards him. For me this is a game and he will be my victim. I chose him because I like him.

You haven’t gotten an answer because everyone is different. This man may react differently from others or you may seriously offend him by applying a corny phrase someone shares or might have worked in the past with someone else.

I’m very sorry you’re not having much luck in progressing this beyond friendship. If anything it’s probably a good idea to let things unfold more naturally and let him come to you more often. Be genuinely interested in his life and when you feel comfortable suggest that you both go for coffee sometime. 

You appear to have very unrealistic goals when it comes to getting to know someone. Take baby steps and be more grounded in your approach. Get rid of any idea that he’s your victim. That’s a very destructive and alarming way to think of someone. If you’re genuine and open, similar individuals will be attracted to that. Good luck.

[Tanzi]

11 hours ago, wealthydior said:

Sometimes I started liking a person after an action or phrase or sentence. It’s too pathetic to say that “you can’t make him like you”. I did that so many times so why can’t I do it again?

No, what’s pathetic (sorry to say) is the fact that you have this teenage fantasy in your head where you think there’s a magic phrase or action that will spellbound a guy into wanting you and giving up his current lifestyle.

What you’ve done before is to get someone to notice you, from there nature has taken it’s course. You’ve got this guy to notice you, you’ve got him to know who you are - and good on you for doing that - but if he doesn’t want to take it any further then there ain’t nothing you can do about it. If we could actually spellbound a guy into wanting us, don’t you think every girl at a One Direction concert would have tried it! Please, for your sake, grow up.

This guy is living his best life at the moment with no intentions of giving it up anytime soon and (in your words) has no romantic feelings towards you. The fact that you can’t accept that and seem to think there’s a way to make him fall for you (though as an expert already you don’t know how - so how are we supposed to know) is at best, immature and, at worst, plain bizarre. This isn’t flirting you’re talking about, it’s a miracle you’re after.

If it were that easy to get someone to fall for you, all our prayers would be answered!

It’s time to put your big girl pants on and set your sights on guys who are ready, willing and available to date. There’s no reason why you can’t still go and see the band ….. but as grown up who enjoys their music as opposed to a teeny bopper hooked on the fantasy that the lead singer is going to fall for her. Honestly, do you not know how all this sounds to us? 

[Tanzi]

11 hours ago, wealthydior said:

When I said “rockstar’s gf” I meant that busy life. Like touring with them etc. And by touring they just perform in two cities. 

You do realise that is every teenage girls dream, right?  Not with this unknown band, I know, but still ......

Besides, I thought you said you didn't want anything serious.  That's quite serious and it would be a big leap for him also, given his lifestyle of choice at the moment.  With that in mind, the best you would achieve here is a hook up.

You are a love-struck fan living in a fantasy and wanting a fairy tale ending, he is living in the real world ... and in the real world he just wants to hook up with as many girls as possible.  You aren't even in the same story, let alone the same page.

11 hours ago, wealthydior said:

Sometimes I started liking a person after an action or phrase or sentence. It’s too pathetic to say that “you can’t make him like you”. I did that so many times so why can’t I do it again?

I would like to know what these actions, phrases and sentences are?  Do you really think that is all it takes?

What has actually happened here is they have done something (nothing spectacular) that has made you notice them (and they, you) and from there nature has taken it's course.  You've already done that.  All you can now is keeping on being you.  If he continues to not be interested in you then there really isn't anything you can do to change that.  There really, really isn't.

 

[MissCanuck]

12 hours ago, wealthydior said:

I did that so many times so why can’t I do it again?

If you've done it so many times and it's worked, why don't you already know what to say or do here? 

 

[Jaunty]

On 3/3/2022 at 12:36 PM, Coily said:

Are throwing hotel keys on stage still a thing?

 

Or, underpants?

[wealthydior]

 

11 hours ago, Blue68 said:

I would like to know what these actions, phrases and sentences are?

 

Well if you must know people seem to be more attractive when they do unexpected things. Like there is this guy who send flames to my stories but like every time and I was just liking his reaction. We did that like 150 times more or less. Then we started chatting occasionally. I have no idea how did that happen. Sometimes I was sending him pics of me before putting that pic to my story. Like I wanted to see if my pic is good or like normal I was seeing his reaction.

Then one day he left me on read like I was so shocked because he was obsessed with me. He was sending flames to everything I post like even my wounded knee pics or my no make up pics or pics that I post on close friends like really bad pics you know.

After that I couldn’t stop thinking about him. He did something unexpected and he was successful. He made me think of himself.

So yes that was it.

[Blue_Skirt]

17 minutes ago, wealthydior said:

Then one day he left me on read like I was so shocked because he was obsessed with me. He was sending flames to everything I post like even my wounded knee pics or my no make up pics or pics that I post on close friends like really bad pics you know.

After that I couldn’t stop thinking about him. He did something unexpected and he was successful.

Very impressive indeed, and wow, never heard of a more successful flame sender.

[Tanzi]

9 minutes ago, wealthydior said:

 

Well if you must know people seem to be more attractive when they do unexpected things. Like there is this guy who send flames to my stories but like every time and I was just liking his reaction. We did that like 150 times more or less. Then we started chatting occasionally. I have no idea how did that happen. Sometimes I was sending him pics of me before putting that pic to my story. Like I wanted to see if my pic is good or like normal I was seeing his reaction.

Then one day he left me on read like I was so shocked because he was obsessed with me. He was sending flames to everything I post like even my wounded knee pics or my no make up pics or pics that I post on close friends like really bad pics you know.

After that I couldn’t stop thinking about him. He did something unexpected and he was successful. He made me think of himself.

So yes that was it.

Sorry, but what you’ve described here is nothing extraordinary or “unexpected”. You’ll read something like this everyday on eNA. You liked his photos he liked yours, you got talking (nothing extraordinary there), he ghosted you, you then decided you liked him. This is all predictable stuff. 

 

[Jaunty]

In your first post you state your goal:   

Quote

seduce him and make him write to me on instagram.

Doesn't that seem a little backward?  Lots of people write back and forth on various social media platforms and never even get close to thinking about having sex together.  

You want to do something unexpected and bold to seduce this middle aged local band member. He'd probably be very flattered if you acted like an outright flamboyant groupie. Since he evidently didn't  make it in the entertainment biz he's probably missed out on all of that.  There are some well known "tricks of the trade."  Among them are things like throwing various clothing items at him while he's performing onstage, flashing him during his set, bribing the doorman / body guard / roadie to let you get into his dressing and into a compromising position, which will hopefully work in your favor for the seduction goal.  Seduction, of course, is a pretty loose word and some guys will, for example, happily allow you to perform oral sex on them but won't do much themselves.

Of course none of this means that he'll be interested enough in you to message you on Insta but you will have given it your best shot.  

 

[SherrySher]

On 3/3/2022 at 4:43 PM, wealthydior said:

I already know that he doesn’t like me romantically. What I’m asking is how can I change that slowly.

You can't.

It's either there, or it isn't.

Trying to fool him, or will him to change his mind, won't work. 

To be honest, he sounds like an overgrown teenager who is having too much fun jumping from bed to bed.

I doubt anyone will change his mind about being in a serious, committed relationship.

[boltnrun]

Your example sounds like yet another situation where "I don't like him until I think he doesn't like me anymore, then I decide I like him". Which is exceptionally immature,TBH. That does not lead to a relationship let alone one that would last.

You say you don't want a serious relationship, but you also say you don't want just a hookup, then you say you want to be a rockstar's girlfriend. I can't figure out what it is you want, except maybe it would make you feel important if he picked you out of the dozens of groupies he has hanging around him. That would be cool for about five minutes, tops.

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, wealthydior said:

Well if you must know people seem to be more attractive when they do unexpected things. Like there is this guy who send flames to my stories but like every time and I was just liking his reaction. We did that like 150 times more or less. Then we started chatting occasionally. I have no idea how did that happen. Sometimes I was sending him pics of me before putting that pic to my story. Like I wanted to see if my pic is good or like normal I was seeing his reaction.

Then one day he left me on read like I was so shocked because he was obsessed with me. He was sending flames to everything I post like even my wounded knee pics or my no make up pics or pics that I post on close friends like really bad pics you know.

After that I couldn’t stop thinking about him. He did something unexpected and he was successful. He made me think of himself.

So yes that was it.

This is online behavior.  Not real life.  And all it means is that you personally reacted to his change of behavior by wanting him more.  Another person if left on read from an online stranger would move on and not give it a second thought.  Yet another person would simply wonder if the person was ok or perhaps his spouse found the chats so he had to go MIA. 

I don't think he was obsessed with you - it's so easy peasy to click 150 times - maybe assume for that period of time he was bored and content to hide behind a screen.  Just like you.  You were so obsessed with this stranger that you noticed -and focused on intensely-his choice to leave you on read. 

You chose to react as you did likely because you didn't have a lot going on.  Don't assume your reaction is typical or has anything to do with being attracted to a person in person.

[Blue_Skirt]

10 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

I can't figure out what it is you want

I think the OP just wants to play games. She does not want a serious relationship, because then you have to take responsibility. She does not want a hook up, because her image is important to her and she does not want to become one of "those hookup girls".

[Batya33]

Here's how my husband got me so interested in giving our relationship another chance after being apart for 7 years.  We planned to meet after having seen each other once in 7 years for a friendly catch up dinner. He was late because he went to a restaurant with the same name several blocks away. He arrived hot and sweaty.  I was wearing blah clothes as we'd made the plan last minute-ish.  You know what he did? He was himself.  Sweaty, for sure, out of breath but -himself.  You know what I did? I was myself in particular because I'd had an awful date the night before and was so d.o.n.e. with dating -at least for that day.  

So we were two people who were just chatting, catching up -we talked about how we hated those holiday cards that were just an excuse to send photos of the kids - and he shared his dessert with me - we talked about nothing much but the conversation flowed.  I felt comfortable and .... the sparks just crept up on me.  Him too I guess! It happened naturally as it will with two people who are comfy being themselves, having a fun conversation and then there's that energy, that chemistry that works its way in.  

No games. No strategizing in that sense (yes strategizing in another sense because I had to think hard about how I wanted to proceed if indeed he'd felt sparks too -what did I want, how would I let him know after all these years).  The sparks caught us off guard for sure.  But since we both ended up having the same goal -to try again, to be together, to see if we should get married - what we did and how we acted over those next few weeks only had to do with getting to know each other again, in a genuine way -yes some flirting, yes I took care to dress up on our next two platonic dates - but neither of us had to win the other over.  Neither of us had to convince the other to be together.  He asked but i answered, enthusiastically.

But here's the thing - this only works for people who find it exciting and satisfying to exhale because they've become the right person to find the right person -the sparks and passion don't need drama to stay alive - neither person needs to feel insecure or kept on their toes in any withholding kind of way or based on any change of behavior - because the excitement and spark is about being with the person, not external silly drama.

You're trying to compensate for the fact that you're not ready to feel excited enough by getting to know a person who is a good match for you.  You need external drama and creating fake push and pull nonsense. 

That's ok.  All that means is you're not ready for the real thing IMO.  But don't confuse what you describe as how to win a person over as something that works in real life for a real relationship that will last for the long term.  A fling -maybe- a one night stand -sure - an online flirtation -yup. But that's not how the vast majority of people find true love and true commitment.  

[Jibralta]

30 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

So we were two people who were just chatting, catching up -we talked about how we hated those holiday cards that were just an excuse to send photos of the kids - and he shared his dessert with me - we talked about nothing much but the conversation flowed.  I felt comfortable and .... the sparks just crept up on me.  Him too I guess! It happened naturally as it will with two people who are comfy being themselves, having a fun conversation and then there's that energy, that chemistry that works its way in.  

....But here's the thing - this only works for people who find it exciting and satisfying to exhale because they've become the right person to find the right person -the sparks and passion don't need drama to stay alive - neither person needs to feel insecure or kept on their toes in any withholding kind of way or based on any change of behavior - because the excitement and spark is about being with the person, not external silly drama.

Yes! Similar with my boyfriend of nearly 10 years. We knew each other, were comfortable with each other, made time to spend together. He never tried to manipulate me with 'mystery.' He was always very clear about his intentions. And I was clear, too. It was easy.

If you just want to keep the flirting alive, fine. But realize that it's meaningless. As Batya pointed out, it takes zero effort to click 'like' or send flames. You literally don't have to lift a finger.

[smackie9]

There must be plenty of books on amazon that teaches the art of seduction. Maybe try there. 

[wealthydior]

Give me the link of those books then I can buy the good ones only. 
About my crush I have so many actions that I can use on him but maneuvering too much can raise suspicion. The best way not to show my trace is to make the my crush see himself as strong and superior. If I can appear weak, vulnerable, under his influence, and unable to control myself, my behavior will be perceived as more natural, more sincere. Signs of physical weakness, such as tears, shyness, pale face, help to make an impact. To gain a little more confidence, I have to trade honesty with virtue: I have to confess a sin to prove my "honesty." My sin need not be real. Integrity is more important than being a good person. I'll play the victim role and then turn my target's sympathy into love.

[boltnrun]

36 minutes ago, wealthydior said:

Give me the link of those books then I can buy the good ones only. 
About my crush I have so many actions that I can use on him but maneuvering too much can raise suspicion. The best way not to show my trace is to make the my crush see himself as strong and superior. If I can appear weak, vulnerable, under his influence, and unable to control myself, my behavior will be perceived as more natural, more sincere. Signs of physical weakness, such as tears, shyness, pale face, help to make an impact. To gain a little more confidence, I have to trade honesty with virtue: I have to confess a sin to prove my "honesty." My sin need not be real. Integrity is more important than being a good person. I'll play the victim role and then turn my target's sympathy into love.

That is one of the most unbelievable scenarios I've ever heard of. What kind of man falls for the weak, helpless, out of control vulnerable routine? Certainly not a man with any degree of intelligence or life experience. And "confessing a 'sin'"?? What the actual heck? You think that will make him want to have a relationship with you?

I have to say, this is certainly a bizarre approach. Let us know if the "weak sinful victim" act is successful.

[Blue_Skirt]

45 minutes ago, wealthydior said:

If I can appear weak, vulnerable, under his influence, and unable to control myself, my behavior will be perceived as more natural, more sincere. Signs of physical weakness, such as tears, shyness, pale face, help to make an impact. To gain a little more confidence, I have to trade honesty with virtue: I have to confess a sin to prove my "honesty." My sin need not be real. Integrity is more important than being a good person. I'll play the victim role and then turn my target's sympathy into love.

Happy International Women’s Day to you!

“Imagine a gender equal world. A world free of bias, stereotypes and discrimination. A world that's diverse, equitable, and inclusive. A world where difference is valued and celebrated. Together we can forge women's equality. Collectively we can all #BreakTheBias.”

[Tanzi]

Oh dear Lord, you really are going to try and pull the damsel in distress routine.

Sorry but you’re talking a load of old  ********!! You can’t manipulate someone into wanting you … and why on earth do you think a man would be attracted to someone who is weak, vulnerable, and crying compared to someone who is happy independent and fun to be around? That would make someone run a mile. Who wants to deal with that? And why do you think someone who appears to “not be able to control themselves” is more natural than someone who is genuinely being themselves.  The mind boggles?  You have this so, so, so very wrong. 
 

[Tanzi]

1 hour ago, wealthydior said:

I have to confess a sin to prove my "honesty." My sin need not be real. Integrity is more important than being a good person. 

So let me get this right …. you lie about a sin to prove your honesty?? Do you realise what you’ve even said there? Seriously, what are you on about? Who has been feeding you this rubbish?

And surely if you had integrity you would be a good person.

How does confessing a sin that isn’t even real equate to integrity …. Why are we even taking about sins anyway?

I really don’t think you know what you are talking about. Not one bit of it makes any sense. 

integrity/ɪnˈtɛɡrɪti/: the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles.

I don’t think anything you have shows integrity.

Im struggling here, my brain can’t comprehend what it's reading. 
 

1 hour ago, wealthydior said:

I'll play the victim role and then turn my target's sympathy into love.

Well good luck with that. If you try pulling that, you’ll end up falling flat on your face.

There’s a reason why he has hooked up with all these other women around you and hasn’t shown any inclination of doing so with you. He’s got his eyes on the sassy ladies who he can have fun times with, not the weak little mouse who’s going to cry all night!