Am I being strung along?

[John333]

I (22m) have been seeing a girl (22f) since around March. She reached out to me in February, and it was after she was out of a relationship for about a month. I knew at the beginning that she would need time before going into another relationship, so I waited until around June to bring up that conversation. She said she needed time, but saw a relationship in the future. Recently, I brought it up again and she said she can't put a label on it yet for various reasons, but she wants me to stay and wait. Am I being strung along? 

[Batya33]

If it's just a label to her why bother? She's telling you that she doesn't see serious potential yet.  If she can't give you a specific time frame and/or a reason then I wouldn't wait.  I don't think she's stringing you along.  She's being honest that she is not that into you and believes this may change. If it were me I wouldn't wait -I think it's long enough to know if there is serious potential.  

[Capricorn3]

1 hour ago, Batya33 said:

If it's just a label to her why bother? She's telling you that she doesn't see serious potential yet.  If she can't give you a specific time frame and/or a reason then I wouldn't wait.  I don't think she's stringing you along.  She's being honest that she is not that into you and believes this may change. If it were me I wouldn't wait -I think it's long enough to know if there is serious potential.  

I second this post.  I wouldn't wait.  Don't put your life on hold for someone who seems all over the place and can't give you a direct answer. I mean, exactly how long does she expect you to "wait"?  No.  Move on.

[Rose Mosse]

I’d be concerned that a person tells another to wait like this. It doesn’t suggest that she has any sense of space or peace and is in a state of unrest. She’s speaking from self-interest and uncaring of the effect it has on you. For that reason I’d find it hard to remain attracted. 

Think carefully about what she’s saying and take a look at her as an entire person also. Does she match your ability to give or live life a certain way? Frame of mind? State of being? If the answer is no, move on. It doesn’t matter who’s stringing who. Decide for yourself what would make you happy.

[MissCanuck]

Nah, you have waited long enough. 

She doesn't have the heart to tell you that she doesn't feel the same way you do, and you're more than likely going to get sidelined when she is ready to move on. It probably will be with someone else altogther. 

Her desire for you to wait is purely selfish on her part. 

[Wiseman2]

11 hours ago, John333 said:

Recently, I brought it up again and she said she can't put a label on it yet for various reasons,.

Sorry this is happening. Yes at best you're a rebound, but more likely she's still talking to and possibly seeing her ex in hopes of reconciliation.

End it. It's an exercise in futility to chase uninterested women who are still talking to others and exes.

There's nothing to wait for except being dumped when the ex comes back or she meets someone else.

[Kwothe28]

11 hours ago, John333 said:

Am I being strung along? 

Yes. Never believe its because they cant commit, its always because they just wont. For the right person she would commit from the day 1. For you, even after 6+ months she just wont. Now you maybe asking: But why does she keeps me there? Well, who knows, maybe boredom and that she hates to be alone, maybe she likes you but not enough for anything serious, maybe she still hopes her ex would take her back etc. Important thing is that it doesnt suit you. So if you want something more then a casual fling, just break that up and find somebody who wants the same. And that wont string you along for more then 6 months.

[Andrina]

Nobody, and I mean NOBODY is worth putting yourself on ice for. I'd go no contact so you can have closure and not hold out hope for someone whose just not that into you. I wouldn't even tell her to contact you when she is ready, because regularly in these cases, when a person is ready, it's always with someone else.

[Coily]

Short Answer: Yes she is stringing you along.

Long Answer: Yes, and it's highly manipulative of her to ask you to wait for her to make up her mind. She doesn't seem to value your time with this wishy washy attitude. It's time to bid her farewell and move on, she wants to keep you as an option until someone better comes along. If someone gets that worked up about labeling things that might be a red flag for future reference.

[catfeeder]

While it's good that you recognized rebound territory, did you stick around to play in that sandbox, or did you walk away telling her that you like her and she can let you know when she's dating material in the future?

If you stuck around, then you are, already, her rebound distraction, and you'll just keep getting the same answer from her for as long as you're willing to be her band-aid.

Instead of waiting, I'd tell her that I like her, but I'm walking away while we both still think highly of one another. She can take all the time she needs to deal with her past or get comfortable solo, and if she ever finds herself up for exploring a committed relationship with you, she can let you know. If you're still available then, maybe you can meet to catch up.

Head high, and respect yourself.

[smackie9]

You wait for no one. Here it is months later and nothing. In that time you could have found someone or at least be in the process of finding a GF.