boltnrun Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 5 minutes ago, FabulousFinn said: Plus people change and compatibility can slowly fade. Hence the interchangeably of partners. So why would you "need 'closure'" from your ex? If you are "interchangeable", maybe she just felt it was time to swap you out. Link to comment
Jibralta Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 41 minutes ago, boltnrun said: So why would you "need 'closure'" from your ex? If you are "interchangeable", maybe she just felt it was time to swap you out. Exactly! No need for closure. Link to comment
FabulousFinn Posted July 17, 2021 Author Share Posted July 17, 2021 43 minutes ago, boltnrun said: So why would you "need 'closure'" from your ex? If you are "interchangeable", maybe she just felt it was time to swap you out. Obviously there were feelings involved and I wasn't the one ready to change her out. Link to comment
FabulousFinn Posted July 17, 2021 Author Share Posted July 17, 2021 2 minutes ago, Jibralta said: Exactly! No need for closure. Why not? Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 15 minutes ago, FabulousFinn said: Why not? For all the reasons outlined in "lostandhurt's" brilliant post on page 1. Go have another read. Link to comment
FabulousFinn Posted July 18, 2021 Author Share Posted July 18, 2021 1 hour ago, Capricorn3 said: For all the reasons outlined in "lostandhurt's" brilliant post on page 1. Go have another read. You don't even know the women I've been sleeping with. What makes you sure that she's a muddy puddle and not good enough for me? It's not like I've not gone out and hooked up with some ugly troll with no personality or anything. I'm telling you now. I really like this women as a person. We have so much in common it's freaky and we get on incredibly well. Literally can talk all night and some more. It's hard to explain. It's like she's a female version of myself. I've literally never met someone that is so similar to me (In a good way). I know I've just came out a long relationship , I know I'm not fully over it, not ready for this but here I am regardless. Don't even care what anyone has to say. There is something about this women and i like her. Heck there is something about her that I've not even felt with any of my ex's. It might not go anywhere but I'm certainly open for it to do so. I don't get what the problem is? Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted July 18, 2021 Share Posted July 18, 2021 You're posting in the Breaking Up Advice section with a title that says "I Need Closure". Others are offering their thoughts because you "need closure". If you don't need closure anymore and are happy enjoying your life with this person, by all means. Wishing you the best with this. Link to comment
Jibralta Posted July 18, 2021 Share Posted July 18, 2021 12 hours ago, FabulousFinn said: Why not? Because the case is closed. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted July 18, 2021 Share Posted July 18, 2021 11 hours ago, FabulousFinn said: Heck there is something about her that I've not even felt with any of my ex's. I don't get what the problem is? Sounds like you got the closure you needed. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted July 18, 2021 Share Posted July 18, 2021 12 hours ago, FabulousFinn said: don't get what the problem is? That you are seeking closure from an ex means you are not at all ready to date someone else yet. Link to comment
No1 Posted July 22, 2021 Share Posted July 22, 2021 Just going to comment on your need for closure. Regardless of reason you have determined that you need closure and you have already validated the reason for it in your mind. I dont care if it means that you want to keep an avenue open, or a need to see if you still have a chance in the future, or if you need to find out why or what happened, it doesnt matter because you have settled on a reason whatever it is. Closure is important if you believe its important. Do you need it to move on? Nope, not at all. Can you have a great relationship without getting your "closure"? Absolutely. But its up to you. If you feel that it is important, then it is you keeping that wound open. Your X doesnt care if its closed or not so the only one that cares about it is you. Link to comment
Tinydance Posted July 23, 2021 Share Posted July 23, 2021 Well I think you would feel like you got more closure if you completely stop talking to your ex and delete and block her on everything. Obviously she's gone and you moved far away so I don't really see the need to keep communicating with her. In regards to the new woman you're seeing. I don't really think you have to defend yourself to us or to anyone as to why you're having casual style sex with her. You can do whatever you want and so can she. You are quite right that times have changed and casual sex is pretty acceptable these days. The only thing I've noticed from your post is that it sort of sounds like maybe you're trying to prove to yourself that you truly like her and it's not just sex for you. To me it didn't really sound as if you like her THAT much because when you met up with her you only had sex in the hotel for three days and that's it. You didn't go out anywhere at all on a date or anything at all. Although I'm not sure if you may have done that deliberately to set the precedent that you don't want a relationship and it's just casual. If this woman is really into you I could see this ending badly for her if she'll want a relationship and you won't. She's an adult though and it was actually her suggestion to get the hotel for sex so she knows what she's getting herself into. If she wants more than just sex then it's her responsibility to end it. You've been honest that you're not ready for a relationship so it's up to her what she wants to do. Link to comment
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