Do I reach out or move on

[comicstar100]

I was seeing a girl for about 2 months. We were texting everyday, meeting once to twice a week for dinner, having sex. Then I noticed her texting less. She asked to see me and told me they she had an issue with her baby's dad. She would always go to his girlfriend to work out times to pick up her daughter and such because they shared custody and she didn't really talk with him.. She found out the guy had hit his girlfriend and the girlfriend moved out. She told me she would be filing for sole custody with a lawyer and that her schedule would get crazy. I still asked her out that week thinking we could work something out but she said she couldn't hang out all week. Then I didn't hear from her for a week. She texted apologizing that she didn't text and asked me how everything had been going. I asked her out and she said she would love to go but things at home hadn't gotten any better and she couldn't go. She has reached out briefly since then most recently a couple days ago when I posted on snap chat that I was out with some friends.  I'm not sure what I should do things have clearly cooled off. She does have things going on in her life but I still feel like if she was still interested she would make more of an effort to message or try and see me. Should I try to reach out and just ask what's going on or at this point should I consider her uninterested and move on?

[MissCanuck]

21 minutes ago, comicstar100 said:

should I consider her uninterested and move on?

This. 

It's pretty clear that after just 2 months, this has fizzled for her. 

[Jibralta]

2 hours ago, comicstar100 said:

She does have things going on in her life but I still feel like if she was still interested she would make more of an effort to message or try and see me.

I agree. I think she's lost interest, for whatever reason..... Next!

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, comicstar100 said:

 told me they she had an issue with her baby's dad. 

She's not ready willing or able to date. Her life is too complicated right now. Let it go.

[Kwothe28]

Somebody said to me one very truthful thing: If people like you they will make time for you. Though she does seem super busy right now. But not that busy that she coudlnt reach out in a week. Maybe reach out for closure but you dont seem that exclusive so, eh, just leave it be.

[boltnrun]

Her child has to take priority, particularly when it involves their physical safety.  Expecting her to take time away from this important issue to date you when she is worried about the safety of her child is a bit much.

Please remember when you date a mother her child(ren) will always take priority.  If this isn't acceptable to you, date women who do not have children.

[Rose Mosse]

I don't see what's the harm in asking her if she'd like to go for dinner. Keep your expectations low and date other women in the meantime. 

I'm not sure how you're asking her out. Keep things specific and short. A one or two hour dinner, tops. Pick her up. Drop her off. This likely won't be a short notice/meandering date for hours. 

Do date others also.

[SooSad33]

Is your choice in what you want to do here.. Yes, if she is having problems now with her child/ and her father, then yes, that rules.. over dating.

So.. you can choose to stick around and wait... until she is able to get a sitter, etc - But, look at your experience with this so far..

Why not keep looking.. get yourself someone else out there that can date/get involved.

OR wait another cpl of weeks and just chime in with her on occasion.. is good if she also reaches out your way.

[Lambert]

3 minutes ago, Rose Mosse said:

I don't see what's the harm in asking her if she'd like to go for dinner. Keep your expectations low and date other women in the meantime. 

I'm not sure how you're asking her out. Keep things specific and short. A one or two hour dinner, tops. Pick her up. Drop her off. This likely won't be a short notice/meandering date for hours. 

Do date others also.

I'm with @Rose Mosse here.

This girl might be blowing you off. Or! She may just be overwhelmed and lost the drive to keep something so new going. 

Sometimes that is how things fizzle out... but because the other person let it go, too.

So do you see yourself with her long term? Or do you not really care either way?  if you don't care, move on.  

If you're truly interested, don't just move on.  But also keep your options open. Ask her out again. If she says, no, again, ask her if she would prefer you stop asking. 

Relationships are between the two people.  how they work together to keep it going.  You don't have to be a mind reader.  You can ask questions in a productive way.  If she would prefer you stop,  then you can say thanks and good luck. 

Or she may realize she has been pushing you away and you guys can talk about what would work.  Then you can decide if that is something you want. 

It's not totally up to her. You're in there, too! 

Either way, it's good to get things out on the table. It's the only way to clear the air.  Be strong! it does suck to be rejected.  We all know it.  But you have to put yourself out there, if you want a relationship.  It's not like fairy tales or the movies.  Stuff happens.

 

 

[HeartGoesOn]

I think she's letting you down gently, otherwise she would never take the risk of losing you.  I'd move forward.

[smackie9]

Whatever her reason, if it were me it would be a big no go to date anyone going through a custody battle with their violent ex. Deal breaker no matter how good the sex was. Too much drama.