Guy is being insulting and I'm finding him difficult. Advice?

[DancingFool]

Tragic they are. Can I ask, if you were the one to end it - how did you?

 

Don't over complicate this. Things like that end with either a mutual ghosting. Basically, he doesn't reach out, you don't reach out. Done. Over.

 

Otherwise with a direct rejection. He reaches out, invites you for another degrading evening, you simply say "Sorry this isn't working for me. Wish you better luck with other matches." If he tries to talk back, block, delete. Either way, done. Over.

 

Why are you so uncomfortable with saying "No thanks" ?????? That seems to be at the heart of your problems really.....

[Lambert]

I agree with all the "just ghost this weirdo" comments.

 

I also think its a good idea to stop dating for awhile. Get in touch with what you're looking for and set boundaries that keep you focused on that.

 

No more, this guy might get better! Repeat after me, "guys don't get better. Their effort or lack of effort tells me everything I need to know"

 

Spend time with people that matter. When you protect yourself from d-bags, you make room for better.

[Wiseman2]

Jerks never respond well to medication either. There is no cure for that. So think of creeps like this as covid. Just don't catch it. Speaking of which, did you know covid had been detected in semen so while this dirty dog was mounting you he may have slipped you more than his jerk wand.

I think it’s more that narcs never respond well to medication (I’m in the psych field).

[Bignomis]

I have found the answer my my case too. I met a neurosurgeon and he is very arrogant. he thinks he is God because he is smart then he can be a doctor. and i am so lucky girl that he loved me. i am not sure he is still love me as he said a week ago. But i went into NC with him because I know he is not the right one for me. This kind of person will never admit what they did wrong and the are heartless. He was easy to insult me and talk very bad to me and every thing he said is up to you if you want a real love then you have to work it out. and he was so nice to be there like a King to give me chances after chances to get him back. He only cared about his feeling when we had sex. Don't matter how i feel, he just do it and enjoy it himself and like i were just a sex doll. I tried my best many time to talk to him. He kept staying cold. So i dumped him and went to NC. It is already 6 days. he blocked me every where as he did it many times before. THis time i don't give a damn about it.I just deleted his his number then go. i have been patient enough for him. all of my friend told me, I have to care more about my self-esteem and I know it is right thing to do. even I still think about him sometimes. But i know I am doing the right thing. I hope you are also be strong to leave him too. We are deserved with much better one.

[Wiseman2]

How long were you dating? Why act like a sex doll? Or since this is the other posters thread, put up with degrading remarks or treatment?

he just do it and enjoy it himself and like i were just a sex doll. So i dumped him and went to NC. It is already 6 days. he blocked me

[minute_perception]

I have found the answer my my case too. I met a neurosurgeon and he is very arrogant. he thinks he is God because he is smart then he can be a doctor. and i am so lucky girl that he loved me. i am not sure he is still love me as he said a week ago. But i went into NC with him because I know he is not the right one for me. This kind of person will never admit what they did wrong and the are heartless. He was easy to insult me and talk very bad to me and every thing he said is up to you if you want a real love then you have to work it out. and he was so nice to be there like a King to give me chances after chances to get him back. He only cared about his feeling when we had sex. Don't matter how i feel, he just do it and enjoy it himself and like i were just a sex doll. I tried my best many time to talk to him. He kept staying cold. So i dumped him and went to NC. It is already 6 days. he blocked me every where as he did it many times before. THis time i don't give a damn about it.I just deleted his his number then go. i have been patient enough for him. all of my friend told me, I have to care more about my self-esteem and I know it is right thing to do. even I still think about him sometimes. But i know I am doing the right thing. I hope you are also be strong to leave him too. We are deserved with much better one.

 

Interesting - this guy is a med student too.

[Bignomis]

No. Doctors do not think they are God. However if you are one of those people dazzled by potential wealth and status and degrade yourself to hook that in well, you have seen the results. Anyone can "chase hard". They are players so don't date them or act like a "sex doll". 'Doctors are narcissists' sounds like sour grapes, maybe he didn't see you as Mrs doctor material?

 

I admired how smart he is more than dazzled by potential wealth status .....I am a lawyer and I have my career. I like simple life. But I admitted that my brain felt safe when i know he is a doctor because I have tendency to admire doctor when my uncle is also a doctor and since my father passed away when i were 10 because of cancer and my mom just got back from cancer surgery. and he told he can help my mom in the future if she has any problem of her heal in the future. It is also he was so different at the beginning when i first met him. It was so romantic night when we could talk hours to hours even we just met each other for first time. He had to hit on me so hard to get me. And i feel like after he got me, then he shows his real personality. I think i have tried my best and be patient with him. But he expected me to work on thing when he just does not want to do it. i asked him to talk while we have to wait for lockdown time (because of COVID 19) is over then i can fly to see him. Of course never asked me if I am ok and tell me stay safe from Covid 19 here But he kept staying cold and don't want to talk to build up feeling. I don't want to meet someone if i don't have feeling for him does not matter who he is. I want to be with the man i met at that night not with the arrogant Doctor.

He is also very jealous and controlling. I does not want me to talk to any men at all. Does not matter they are my best friends just a waiter at restaurant. I like to treat people nice and happy when people treat me nice too. But does not matter that men just treat me polite or they like me he will blame it on me and I have to take it all. He told me that move to him and see if his feeling is still there for me. He blamed me that I don't want to give up my freedom to fight for relationship with him. He wants I do what ever he says without speak out my thinking. he just hang up the phone and block me when he got angry at the middle of conversation and then unblock me after a few days.

I had talk politely with him about our bed life. But he just does care about what he likes to do and never ask me how i feel or what i want or like him to do.

I have never ever talk any bad word to him because I don't like it and I don't want to hurt the man i love. And i don't blame everything on him because i know one hand can not make noise. I, maybe, did something he did not like and i also gave him right to hurt me. and maybe he is hurt too( i don't know). But it does not mean he can insult me many time. I were still trying if my friend don't talk to me and take me out of my blind dream and tell me that i have to have more care about my self-esteem. so I just learned about him and when i found out he is not the right one for me and i leave. When people are so arrogant , they think they are center of everything and people have to run after them.

The point is I know what is the best for me now to do. Does not matter who's is fault. what matter now is i have to find peace in my mind again and move on.

[reinventmyself]

Bignomsis, Welcome to ENA

Please consider starting a thread of your own? I don't mean to sound snarky but I had to keep dialing back to see who this post belonged to.

[Wiseman2]

Yes it's confusing that each post is me, myself, I, my, etc but on someone else's threads.

Bignomsis, Welcome to ENA

Please consider starting a thread of your own? I don't mean to sound snarky but I had to keep dialing back to see who this post belonged to.

[Bignomis]

Yes it's confusing that each post is me, myself, I, my, etc but on someone else's threads.

 

I just meant that just telling my story that she will have one more opinion about similar situation she is confusing about. I see that most of people just gave her advices based on their thinking about her story. But if someone have more more similar details then she, maybe, can see clearly more about what she is maybe blinded like i were.

I know every people have different situations then the most similar story will be more clear, maybe.Just think it might help. I have found out it is more clear and motivated for me when I read someone's case then other gave their advice based on very similar details story then just give their advice base on general story. When someone have experienced all the most similar with her story then just hope it is more helpfull. Thats all.

[reinventmyself]

I just meant that just telling my story that she will have one more opinion about similar situation she is confusing about. I see that most of people just gave her advices based on their thinking about her story. But if someone have more more similar details then she, maybe, can see clearly more about what she is maybe blinded like i were.

I know every people have different situations then the most similar story will be more clear, maybe.Just think it might help. I have found out it is more clear and motivated for me when I read someone's case then other gave their advice based on very similar details story then just give their advice base on general story. When someone have experienced all the most similar with her story then just hope it is more helpfull. Thats all.

 

of course. . to a degree, but at some point you end up highjacking someone elses the thread.

[Hollyj]

of course. . to a degree, but at some point you end up highjacking someone elses the thread.

 

I agree......

[Bignomis]

I think you guys are talking about your feeling. And from your view that i am doing the same in my comment to her that is why you think that at some point i end up highjacking hers thread. I see it and i will learn from it. Because maybe you guys pay attention to read my comment for her. I agree that what we say here is what we want to tell her and hope she can find her way out. So please just pay the most attention on her, not on my comment for her. because i want to send message to her base on my very similar story and she has idea that at this detail, someone else did this way. maybe it fit to her maybe not. Then hope she will know what is the best for her. just don't care about anything else except that if it is helpful for her. Just put her feeling is priority not yours or mine. Thanks you guys all.

[reinventmyself]

Though it's not written in the by laws, you are new here and I am just letting you in on what is considered common courtesy on the board. I noticed you doing this on another threads as well. That's all.

[TottieHall]

He kind of sounds like he has control issues and mild sexual dysfunction and that he's SUPER defensive about it. I think I'd probably break up with this guy. He puts you down and tries to make you feel "lesser" so he can feel better about himself and that's something you probably can't just talk through and work out.