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My boyfriend has a gun and He says I need to accept him if I want to be with him

angy864

By angy864
in Breaking Up Advice

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angy864 Rookie

angy864

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Thank you for taking your time and giving me an advice. I do appreciate all the comments I am getting on this. I am a single mother of one and left my baby's dad for being an abuser as well. I was alone for 8 years and this person is been the one and only person I allowed to be around my kid. My son didn't even met his own father for similar circumstances and I took the whole responsibility.

I know this may sound like I willingly put my kid into this crazy situation and I do accept I wasn't strong enough to not tolerate anything from the very beginning, like his lies... I do take full responsibility. Of course I NEVER wanted to put my kid though anything like that NEVER! It's easy to judge but at the same time nobody is in nobody else's shoes right? I am a good person, hard worker and being a mom and a dad supportive 100% to my child. Only God knows what I have been through. It's just so hard to accept that as soon as I gave a person a chance in my life this happens... thats why I am heartbroken! I'm human right?

But of course I do take your advice and I appreciate it very much. THANK YOU! EVERYTHING You say is completely true.

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boltnrun Grand Master

boltnrun

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If the people who love and care about you think he's bad news and you don't listen, why would you pay attention to strangers on the internet? Were you "hoping" we'd all say you're right about the gun but you should stay with him?

 

It's time to put your child's safety and well-being above your desire to have a man in your life. This man will hurt you worse than he already has, and it's likely he will physically harm your child as well. Don't be "afraid to be alone". Leave him for good and don't ever allow him to contact you again.

 

If he's blocked, keep him blocked and don't answer any calls or messages from unknown numbers. Better yet, change your number. Yes, you can.

 

When you start to "miss" him, remind yourself of all the damage you'd be doing to your child if you allow him back into your lives.

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Hollyj Grand Master

Hollyj

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Thank you for taking your time and giving me an advice. I do appreciate all the comments I am getting on this. I am a single mother of one and left my baby's dad for being an abuser as well. I was alone for 8 years and this person is been the one and only person I allowed to be around my kid. My son didn't even met his own father for similar circumstances and I took the whole responsibility.

I know this may sound like I willingly put my kid into this crazy situation and I do accept I wasn't strong enough to not tolerate anything from the very beginning, like his lies... I do take full responsibility. Of course I NEVER wanted to put my kid though anything like that NEVER! It's easy to judge but at the same time nobody is in nobody else's shoes right? I am a good person, hard worker and being a mom and a dad supportive 100% to my child. Only God knows what I have been through. It's just so hard to accept that as soon as I gave a person a chance in my life this happens... thats why I am heartbroken! I'm human right?

But of course I do take your advice and I appreciate it very much. THANK YOU! EVERYTHING You say is completely true.

 

As something seems to attract YOU to abusive men, I would suggest some individual or group therapy.

 

This has nothing to do with being in someone else's shoes. The first time there was an incident, you should have been out of there. No excuse for this! This attitude gets your child removed from your care. He also will not forget or forgive you for exposing him to dangerous people. It is your responsibility to protect him. Put your child before yourself.

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angy864 Rookie

angy864

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as something seems to attract you to abusive men, i would suggest some individual or group therapy.

 

This has nothing to do with being in someone else's shoes. The first time there was an incident, you should have been out of there. No excuse for this! This attitude gets your child removed from your care. He also will not forget or forgive you for exposing him to dangerous people. It is your responsibility to protect him. Put your child before yourself.

 

yes. Thank you for your comment.

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angy864 Rookie

angy864

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If you're uncomfortable and look upon armed men with disdain, listen to your gut instincts and intuition by dissolving the relationship. No, you're not crazy.

 

If he continues to harass you and show up on your doorstep unannounced, next time, call the police and have law enforcement ensure that he stays away from you. Ghost, block and delete him, too.

 

He's dangerous, hurts you physically, scares your son as he witnesses his rages not to mention the guy's sickness with porn, steroids, pills and raging tempers! He's a tinder box ready to blow! And, with a gun, there's no telling how wrong this scenario could turn! :upset:

 

You don't want to end up on '1st 48.' (Homicide)

 

There is no love whatsoever. Don't get it twisted. No trust = NO love. You are crazy for loving him but you're not crazy for wanting him to stay away from you and your child. He's scary! :eek:

 

Thank you for your advice. I appreciate it very much.

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angy864 Rookie

angy864

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If you're uncomfortable and look upon armed men with disdain, listen to your gut instincts and intuition by dissolving the relationship. No, you're not crazy.

 

If he continues to harass you and show up on your doorstep unannounced, next time, call the police and have law enforcement ensure that he stays away from you. Ghost, block and delete him, too.

 

He's dangerous, hurts you physically, scares your son as he witnesses his rages not to mention the guy's sickness with porn, steroids, pills and raging tempers! He's a tinder box ready to blow! And, with a gun, there's no telling how wrong this scenario could turn! :upset:

 

You don't want to end up on '1st 48.' (Homicide)

 

There is no love whatsoever. Don't get it twisted. No trust = NO love. You are crazy for loving him but you're not crazy for wanting him to stay away from you and your child. He's scary! :eek:

 

THANK YOU For your advice! I appreciate it!

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angy864 Rookie

angy864

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Why on earth you're isolating the issue of firearms is well beyond me.

 

I own firearms. My wife is trained to safely and responsibly handle, operate, and care for them as well. Just as our kids will be. You couldn't convince me to forego my responsibilities and rely on law enforcement to provide immediate protection for my person or my family, or for me to put faith in the next several decades turning out just peachy without need of one. That said, if you don't like guns or otherwise simply aren't comfortable with them, that's perfectly reasonable. Zero disrespect for folks who make that conscious decision for themselves. Just choose a partner who shares your values. Ideally one who doesn't juice, rage in front of your kids, punch you, lie to you, etc., etc.

 

Honestly, and it's not even my position on gun ownership talking, if your real "but for" is that he owns a gun and not any single or combination of the dozen other gigantic red flags, you've seriously gotta stop dating. For your son's sake much moreso than yours. A man like this is destructive and dangerous with or without a gun, though especially with. Distance yourself sooner than later or you'll need a gun yourself whether you like it or not.

 

Thank you for reading me and for your time. I appreciate your advice.

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Cherylyn Grand Master

Cherylyn

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THANK YOU For your advice! I appreciate it!

 

Thank you, angy864.

 

Be wise. Look out for yourself and your child. Safety first always.

 

Never associate with shady characters because someday you'll have a heavy price to pay such as costing your life or heaven forbid, your child's life; not only from dangerous people but also whom they associate with, too and they'll infiltrate your life by default, coincidence or socializing with the wrong crowd. The domino effect will impact you and your child in a harmful, dangerous way. Stay away from the wrong people.

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boltnrun Grand Master

boltnrun

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I already blocked him and I am done! :)

 

Did you change your number so he can't call or message you from an unknown number? (Yes, you can).

 

Hopefully you didn't give him a key to your place. If so, time to change the locks.

 

And never mind about any "things" he might have left at your place. You can ship them to him.

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angy864 Rookie

angy864

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So he treated you so horribly you left and finally were able to quit him. Then he continues to harass you after you left, and eventually says "let me have a gun or you won't see me anymore"?

 

Awesome, take the not seeing him anymore option.

 

I did! Thanks for your advice!

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saluk Proficient

saluk

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Good to hear! Hope you and your son are able to recover from the experience. It sounds like you are doing pretty well, but if possible I'd also recommend trying counseling/therapy. These kinds of relationships tend to leave scars that can take time and work to recover from.

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Blank State Enthusiast

Blank State

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Why on earth you're isolating the issue of firearms is well beyond me.

 

I own firearms. My wife is trained to safely and responsibly handle, operate, and care for them as well. Just as our kids will be. You couldn't convince me to forego my responsibilities and rely on law enforcement to provide immediate protection for my person or my family, or for me to put faith in the next several decades turning out just peachy without need of one. That said, if you don't like guns or otherwise simply aren't comfortable with them, that's perfectly reasonable. Zero disrespect for folks who make that conscious decision for themselves. Just choose a partner who shares your values. Ideally one who doesn't juice, rage in front of your kids, punch you, lie to you, etc., etc.

 

Honestly, and it's not even my position on gun ownership talking, if your real "but for" is that he owns a gun and not any single or combination of the dozen other gigantic red flags, you've seriously gotta stop dating. For your son's sake much moreso than yours. A man like this is destructive and dangerous with or without a gun, though especially with. Distance yourself sooner than later or you'll need a gun yourself whether you like it or not.

I own guns too. But she isn't isolating the gun issue. It's one of many. But having a gun around is a serious issue. Accidents happen. Kids can get in to them. And every gun owner is a law abiding, responsible gun owner. Until they're not. She has a child. If she isn't comfortable, good for her.

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j.man Grand Master

j.man

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I own guns too. But she isn't isolating the gun issue. It's one of many. But having a gun around is a serious issue. Accidents happen. Kids can get in to them. And every gun owner is a law abiding, responsible gun owner. Until they're not. She has a child. If she isn't comfortable, good for her.
The thread title and the meat of her post isolated the issue. And as an aside:

 

That said, if you don't like guns or otherwise simply aren't comfortable with them, that's perfectly reasonable.

Go Fudd elsewhere.

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