Exchange kids

[RicBoy]

Well, I am not a man but woman.

 

Point is I still have some hope that a change in my behavior could attract her again. But most likely she is done. She said she had no feelings after a month of no contact and that she still has forgot the past

[Seraphim]

Point is I still have some hope that a change in my behavior could attract her again. But most likely she is done. She said she had no feelings after a month of no contact and that she still has forgot the past

 

Then it is time for more than a few therapy sessions. You have to deal with an obsessive personality. I know I have the same issue. But it needs dealing with for your sake and your child’s sake.

[boltnrun]

Why do you want her back when she's done all these horrible things?

 

I bet it's because you can't have her.

 

And if you only see your child 5 times a year, how good of friends could he be with that woman's daughter? And why give up some of your precious time with him?

 

It's because you're hoping if you do what she wants she'll come back to you, isn't it? AND if so, that would be using the child to try to get her back.

 

Again, if she's as awful as you say why do you still want her back? Something more definite than "there's FEELINGS!", please.

 

You do know you could meet a more compatible woman if you'd just leave this one alone and stop the obsession, right? And a therapist could help with that.

[happyfrank]

Point is I still have some hope that a change in my behavior could attract her again. But most likely she is done. She said she had no feelings after a month of no contact and that she still has forgot the past

 

You need to take control of your emotions and remember you come first.

 

If she doesn't want you. Why do you want her?

 

Please value yourself! You matter too.

[RicBoy]

You need to take control of your emotions and remember you come first.

 

If she doesn't want you. Why do you want her?

 

Please value yourself! You matter too.

 

I know I'm gonna look butthurt but I have already decided, I'm gonna drive my kid to her place, stop the car in front of her building, my son gets out of the car and Im outta there. I'm not going to her doorstep with the kid. He knows how to get there takes 30 seconds literally. She has rejected me one too many times, disrespected, I think she even was the one who pulled the strings to fire me, and from my side time after time I'm back to chase her. Not anymore... Last msg I told her if she doesn't want me, I'm not gonna make a fool of myself anymore and I'm moving on...

 

I know that she thinks those 2 min. At her doorstep I've been waiting for all my life for it just to see her... Im not going there.

 

I'm not gonna be weak anymore, chase her or anything anymore.

[Seraphim]

At least wait in the car until your kid gets in the door.

[RicBoy]

Here where I live 9 years old get the bus subway alone, go around the city alone etc very safe. But yes will do

[Hollyj]

You have limited visitation? Why are you not taking advance of the time with your child? Why is he going on overnights?

[RicBoy]

She isn't the mother of my kid

[Hollyj]

She isn't the mother of my kid

 

The woman who came to visit from another country is not the mother? Who has the majority of custody? Hw much time do you get with him on an annual basis? Where is the mother of this boy?

[MaybeThen]

For the people saying how bad I am. I went to therapy a few sessions. I apologized to her hundreds times and I had to work one month with her after the break up, she was my supervisor. I chased with calls and texts for that month. Apologizing, I almost begged on my knees for her to take me back and forgiveness. I promise her to go to therapy and I went a few sessions. She was too smothered with me. I spent 6x times a week at her place, with her cooking, doing my laundry, working together. I was a bit pushy hugging and touching her all the time too.. I was in love and I lost control..

 

Even now after month or so, maybe more of NC, when she reached out with the book msg, I tried to see her, told her I love her. But she doesn't care. She just wants to see me crawling probably and keep things for the kids

 

None of this represents an apology, which is a change in behavior. You went into a building a couple of times so you could use the action as a bargaining tool. You never went to therapy to work on yourself, for yourself. You sat in a therapists office once or twice so you could throw it back on her face.

[RicBoy]

None of this represents an apology, which is a change in behavior. You went into a building a couple of times so you could use the action as a bargaining tool. You never went to therapy to work on yourself, for yourself. You sat in a therapists office once or twice so you could throw it back on her face.

 

Therapist told me the mais reason I smothered my ex was because I didn't have things in life I like, like job car house, hobbies... And when I meer a new partner, I start to live my partners life and looking in my partners things that lack in my life. I dated my ex for 7 months but I was unemployed for 6...my life was waiting her to come home that's it. Ofc she felt smothered.

[Hollyj]

Then why don't you make changes?

 

Your child seems to be an afterthought.

[RicBoy]

I did some. I got a job and a car in less than 2 weeks after she left me. I'm looking for a new place, I live with a roomate. After all is settled, I will have my son moving in with me.

 

Wish my ex would come back, but she won't. It's seems that her decision is final. One month no contact and nothing has changed, She keeps on repeat saying she has no feelings.

 

She probably reached out only to make sure I'm still hooked on her and ego boost.

[Seraphim]

That can’t happen if you block her and keep your kid to yourself.

[Billie28]

 

This was my last text to her, something stupid

 

 

My son's mom slept at my place 2 weeks, we hugged through the night but we didn't have sex, I was thinking of u. I'm not sure why I'm telling u this.... Ur so stupid for not giving me a chance, I'm so much into u, not only as a person but emotionally and sexually. Ahh fk it, u don't want me, I'm just making a fool out of myself contacting u, I'm moving on...

 

I'm not contacting her again not matter what. From now on only reply when she reaches out which she will to plan about my. Kid.

 

Oh this just gets worse!!!

 

Your kid comes over a few times a year. You only have dated this girl for 7 months. Your kid should not even have been introduced to her yet nevermind her kid. The reason you did introduce your kid is just so you could see this woman without letting your kid get in the way!?

When your kid should be first priority!!!

 

And why on earth are you cuddling your kids mom in bed for 2 weeks ???

Are you actively trying to confuse your kid???

 

Is the mother of your kid from the Phillipines?

 

What activities have you planned for your kid when he gets here in 3 weeks?? If any?? Is his mother coming over too?

 

Stop confusing your kid further. Tell him there is no play date / sleepover.

And arrange instead to spend quality time with your kid!!! Otherwise when he comes of age to have a choice in visiting you he will probably choose not to!!

 

Block the ex and stop this crazy thinking!!

[RicBoy]

Oh this just gets worse!!!

 

Your kid comes over a few times a year. You only have dated this girl for 7 months. Your kid should not even have been introduced to her yet nevermind her kid. The reason you did introduce your kid is just so you could see this woman without letting your kid get in the way!?

When your kid should be first priority!!!

 

And why on earth are you cuddling your kids mom in bed for 2 weeks ???

Are you actively trying to confuse your kid???

 

Is the mother of your kid from the Phillipines?

 

What activities have you planned for your kid when he gets here in 3 weeks?? If any?? Is his mother coming over too?

 

Stop confusing your kid further. Tell him there is no play date / sleepover.

And arrange instead to spend quality time with your kid!!! Otherwise when he comes of age to have a choice in visiting you he will probably choose not to!!

 

Block the ex and stop this crazy thinking!!

 

We were 7 months together but we did a lot of stuff. We spent 2 weeks holidays in my country in the summer and she met all my family. We were going for Xmas to her country to meet her family before we broke up. We both live abroad.

 

The mother of my kid lives in a different country too, and she just ended up a 7 year relationship (we have been broken up for 8), so we decided to spend Xmas together for the kid. So she came by and stayed at my place for 2 weeks.

 

My ex doesn't want me but apparently she is jealous. Pretty sure she reached out with a breadcrumb just to find out if I had gone back to the mother of my kid and if I had changed. Unfortunately I went right back to chasing and texting her for 4 or 5 days and she pulled back again. Been in NC for 2 days. Kid arrives in 3 weeks. She will Reach out.

[Wiseman2]

She is crazy to allow you to remain in her life. She seems irresponsible to allow any part of you or your child near her home or her child. She should have had you arrested. Does she have drug/drinking problems? Hopefully you're trolling and this is all just bs.

she hired me and we started working together as she was my supervisor.

she also has a daughter to take care of.

We had an argument big big one, I shouted at her and pushed her, she took this as domestic violence and kicked me out of the house.

[RicBoy]

U are thinking I hurted or did something violent. Man was a little push, I was just shouting... This girl does kickboxing, she isn't a flower. She is more into bone cracking than massage. No. She has bulimia and was diagnosed bipolar by one doc. Then got tested again by 2 docs and results came negative. Her daughter however has mental issues. She is on a pill for the brain for life.

 

Nevertheless, she told me even if we didn't have this fight.. Where I pushed her. She would eventually leave me. Because Im not ambitious as her and we are too different. She was too smothered.

[RicBoy]

People when they are truly in love they forgive, they forgive even cheating let alone a fight.. I'm not saying I acted right by any means, but it seems to me she used this fight to bounce.

 

If a girl pushed me or slapped, surely I would be upset, my dignity would be down the drain, maybe I would leave. Would I lose feelings and attraction, no.. That's it how attraction works..this girl felt smothered... Me smothering her probably made me look desperate and needy and she bounced.. Then chasing for a month and now same thing for 4 days after she reached out, only reassured her she made the right decision.

[Seraphim]

People can leave for any reason they choose. Forgiveness doesn’t imply you put up with or agree with unacceptable behaviour.

 

Please ,I think more therapy would benefit you. There is a lot of disordered thinking here.

[RicBoy]

People can leave for any reason they choose. Forgiveness doesn’t imply you put up with or agree with unacceptable behaviour.

 

Please ,I think more therapy would benefit you. There is a lot of disordered thinking here.

 

A relationship is a contract. Like any type of contract u do in life, job, marriage etc.. U don't just up and leave at will without any explanations. She left, I never had the chance to even talk to her face to face after it.

 

If everyone would just leave as u say because of an argument everyone would be single

[RicBoy]

Anyways, it's been 3 months broken up now, I don't even know if she is seeing someone already, so probably the last thing she wants now is to discuss the past. I still find funny the breadcrumbs.

 

I'm in no contact and in 3 weeks I'll drive my son to her place and won't go to her doorstep. No more validation to this woman.

[Lambert]

What a mess.

 

1. your child is the number one priority. Considering he lives in another country and his young age, I imagine the thing he wants most when he visits, is time with you!

 

2. this ex gf says she's not interested, but manipulates you and strokes her own ego, with comments about you not allowing the kids to get together... that's nuts. You don't have to explain yourself or your parenting or your time with the mother of your child. YOU ARE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER. her opinion on any of this does not matter.

 

3. Considering he is 9, only visits 5 times a year, and you only dated for 7 months (they were not step brother and sister for their whole lives) their parents dated. There is no reason to make accommodations for them to continue. As a child I would play with the children that were around... meaning maybe a customer of my dad's kid was over, a visiting cousin of a neighbor... kids play with the kids that are around... if he doesn't see this girl, I'm sure he will be fine... Especially, if you are having fun with him.

 

4. she is 12 and he is 9, there should not be sleepovers... she is actually getting too old for him at this stage. Girls mature faster and she is into pre teen things. he is much younger considering the stage of their development. I can't imagine these kids are so sad to not be together....

 

5. A RELATIONSHIP is not a contract. Anyone can leave for any reason at any time. a marriage is a contract. understand the difference and adjust your life and actions accordingly.

 

6. Cancel the play date and do something fun with your son instead. problem solved. You are the parent. You control the situation and your child.... talk to him see how he feels about this friend. explain that you want time with him while he is visiting.... leave the girl and your ex out of the reason

 

7. get back to therapy....

 

good luck. I hope you find a way to move past this woman and situation long term. It seems really unhealthy and dangerous.... find the help you need and build a better life for yourself.

[Seraphim]

A relationship is a contract. Like any type of contract u do in life, job, marriage etc.. U don't just up and leave at will without any explanations. She left, I never had the chance to even talk to her face to face after it.

 

If everyone would just leave as u say because of an argument everyone would be single

 

I get that I’ve been with my husband for 30 years.

 

I don’t see being with someone for seven months as a lifetime contract. Also when it gets physical it’s done and it’s over. It doesn’t matter if she’s an MMA superstar pushing and shouting is not an argument. It’s unacceptable and shouldn’t be tolerated. Never in 30 years have my husband and I got into a shoving match.