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Life in the Driver’s Seat (extended)

Seraphim

By Seraphim
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Seraphim
Seraphim

Today my son is 24! Wow! Where did time go!

Seraphim
Seraphim

I seriously had the best day. Hubby and I went off on our own and walked the beach for 4 hours and had a picnic and I took some farm photography shots. Going to the beach just let’s you RELAX. 

Seraphim
Seraphim

My son is doing so incredibly well about our impending move. He is trying to remain positive and he told me he is working very hard to not freak out . I told him how great he is doing . This is the fi

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Seraphim Grand Master

Seraphim

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Last night my dad‘s youngest sister called me to tell me he had decided that he was done and he had no quality-of-life left and that he discontinued his dialysis on Friday. So I’m going down today with my husband to say goodbye. My son can’t go because the hospital would require him to wear a mask. So he wrote Grandpa a letter and he is going to stay home. It took me a while to get a hold of my brother but I finally did and he is bringing his eldest daughter and his ex skank is bringing my other two nieces. Like I really need that skank who I haven’t seen in like half a decade in my life the day I lose my dad. REALLY??? She never gave a shyte about my dad in life so why would she want to be there. Oh yeah to annoy us and pretend like she’s of some relevance.

 

My mom also wants to say goodbye to my dad.

 

I’ve decided today is just a day of forgiveness and hopefully he goes in peace. Just tell him I love him and leave it at that .

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Seraphim Grand Master

Seraphim

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And so now we wait.

 

 

When my Aunt finished her phone call I just started screaming and screaming and screaming like a wounded animal. My husband and son just took me in their arms and held me. I called my mom and was screaming and crying. It took a few hours to locate my brother. My husband called his boss got the day off and I made the decision to close the daycare for the day.

 

Yesterday we saw daddy. He looked God awful and been injured by somebody on Saturday which was part of his decision to die. He is tired of his no quality-of-life and falling every 10 feet and falling every time he goes out.

 

He talked to my son on the phone and my son had given him a letter. He told me that he was happy with his decision and was at peace and felt a lot better now that he was receiving morphine in the hospital. And that he wanted to go and I should be happy with it. I told him if that was his decision I was happy with it and told him I love him and would always love him. Bringing up anything in the past would serve no purpose.

 

I brought my mother to say her goodbyes. They had a peaceful conversation.

 

My husband saluted him when we left.

 

So now we wait.

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Seraphim Grand Master

Seraphim

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Well, today is day six without my dad having dialysis. My brother said on his visit today he couldn’t get any response from him. I know he’s heavily sedated but my brother said even shaking somebody who’s sedated you will get some response he got no response at all. Today is the day that my grandfather died 45 years ago my mom’s dad. So it won’t be too much longer for daddy. 😓😓

 

One of my daycare families has a possible COVID exposure so that child had to leave and go get tested.

 

I have a new kid starting on Monday I had an interview with that mother today. I have another kid that’s returning on Monday.

 

I am just f... done today.

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Seraphim Grand Master

Seraphim

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Sorry to hear this, Seraphim.

 

Thank you.

 

I talk to the fellow who was supposed to do our first aid and CPR he said he would get me on a different course and not worry about tomorrow. He said his father died after dialysis as well and he knows how I feel. So tomorrow I am going to see daddy ,stay overnight at my brother’s and then see daddy again Sunday morning and then go home. Dad has been unconscious for a few days but my brother said today he was conscious and sitting up. He was holding onto the letter that my son had written him. Tomorrow I will leave him with a picture of his grandson.

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