Hollywould Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 Hi folks. I have been "dating" a man from high school for 6 months. I'm in my mid-fifties. In that time we have spent ALOT of time together because we have similar interests. I have grown to love him and I tell him often. He tells me that he loves me too. The relationship is progressing at a very slow pace which is ok but he seldom shows any affection towards me. I want to kiss him he pulls away. If I touch him in a way that could lead to intimacy he questions my motives and pulls away. He won't let me touch him! He seldom touches me. When I question him about it he twists things in such a way that I feel like a . Wanting to be intimate with someone you love after 6 months is normal and human. I'm ready to end this situation but want to know what you all think. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 You are not dating. You are friends. If you want to continue the friendship respect his boundaries and keep your hands off him. If your feelings are more than he is offering, stop being his friend/hanging out and get on some dating apps. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 ....What are his reasons for rejecting you? Are you two ever intimate at all or never? Link to comment
Hollywould Posted January 8, 2019 Author Share Posted January 8, 2019 You are telling me what I wish wasn't true - but it is. I'll stop hanging out because my feelings are much stronger than his. Mark my word - I'll tell him that I'm done and he will pull me back in with minor affection like before. Link to comment
Hollywould Posted January 8, 2019 Author Share Posted January 8, 2019 I don't know. Never intimate but sometimes we sleep in the same bed. He likes for me to touch him but he will not touch me. Link to comment
Hollywould Posted January 8, 2019 Author Share Posted January 8, 2019 I refuse to let my self esteem be affected. He constantly tells me that I look/aged better than most of our friends. He drinks a lot and gets angry over little things. I still love him. Link to comment
poorlittlefish Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 I wonder if he is either impotent or asexual. Has he had other romantic relationships that you're aware of? If he just sees you as a friend I don't know why he is saying he loves you. It's confusing and unfair on you. Link to comment
Andrina Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 He doesn't meet your physical needs, and you've had plenty of time now to see how he will act in the long run. Time to free yourself so you can find someone who's a better match. If you haven't tried Meetup.com activities in your area, check it out. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 You are telling me what I wish wasn't true - but it is. I'll stop hanging out because my feelings are much stronger than his. Mark my word - I'll tell him that I'm done and he will pull me back in with minor affection like before. No one can "pull you back in" without your permission. You are not powerless here, you are perfectly capable of making decisions, and acting in your own best interests, so sorry but this "he will pull me back in" is bs. Clearly this man has serious intimacy issues, is this what you want for yourself? Your choice and if you choose no, then as a strong competent woman, you walk away and not allow him to "pull you back in." It's really that simple. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 I don't know. Never intimate but sometimes we sleep in the same bed. He likes for me to touch him but he will not touch me. Wow....I mean I don't know why you call this dating. You are nothing more than platonic pals and he is very obviously not attracted to you sexually. Your attraction is completely one sided and yeah, as Wiseman said, stop trying to push yourself onto him. If you can't be just friends with him, then politely distance yourself from him until you cool off and lose interest....or just fade out of the friendship permanently. Don't go off telling him off because you'll just come across as crazy. Link to comment
Hollywould Posted January 8, 2019 Author Share Posted January 8, 2019 Yes, he has had past relationships. Reminds me of them from time to time. Link to comment
Hollywould Posted January 8, 2019 Author Share Posted January 8, 2019 You are right. Thanks for saying it like it is. I don't belong with him. Link to comment
Hollywould Posted January 8, 2019 Author Share Posted January 8, 2019 You are right. It's my own fault for letting this go on for 6 months. I'm done. Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 If he will not speak up and explain why he is acting this way towards you then you have to take his actions as the hard truth. Lesson learned for the next time right? I am sure you will find a man that is willing to be in a real relationship once you stop wasting your time on this guy. Lost Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 I don't know. Never intimate but sometimes we sleep in the same bed. He likes for me to touch him but he will not touch me. You need to be done with this. I am sorry, but he does not have any romantic feelings for you. Stop torturing yourself and end this 'relationship.' I would find it so devaluing and frustrating. You need to cut contact, as you have feelings for him. Nothing will change. Expect a lot more from men in the future. This should have stopped a long time ago. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 I refuse to let my self esteem be affected. He constantly tells me that I look/aged better than most of our friends. He drinks a lot and gets angry over little things. I still love him. He sounds like a real prize. I also think you should address why you got involved with any of this. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 You are wasting your time if he's an angry alcoholic with ED (very common in alcoholics). Why stick around for all the rejection because he says you 'look younger", but pushes you away? Never intimate but sometimes we sleep in the same bed. He likes for me to touch him but he will not touch me.He drinks a lot and gets angry over little things. I still love him. Link to comment
thisisrichey Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 he's not interested or "unavailable" mentally/emotionally. that or he's being this way as part of a "scheme" or "game" or whatver to reel you in the way he wants things to be. whatever of those it is doesn't matter.. walk away.. and now. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 You are telling me what I wish wasn't true - but it is. I'll stop hanging out because my feelings are much stronger than his. Mark my word - I'll tell him that I'm done and he will pull me back in with minor affection like before.Pfffft to that ^^^ I agree with Katrina... You act as if you have no will of your own. All you have to do is say what you offer me is not enough so I wish you luck in your relationships but please don't contact me again. How old are you? Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 Hi folks. I have been "dating" a man from high school for 6 months. I'm in my mid-fifties. In that time we have spent ALOT of time together because we have similar interests. I have grown to love him and I tell him often. He tells me that he loves me too. The relationship is progressing at a very slow pace which is ok but he seldom shows any affection towards me. I want to kiss him he pulls away. If I touch him in a way that could lead to intimacy he questions my motives and pulls away. He won't let me touch him! He seldom touches me. When I question him about it he twists things in such a way that I feel like a . Wanting to be intimate with someone you love after 6 months is normal and human. I'm ready to end this situation but want to know what you all think. If I were in this situation, I would end it. You are on different pages when it comes to intimacy and affection. I don't have a crystal ball, but I would bet against such a mismatch. Link to comment
Annia Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 Are you officially dating or have talked about it? Have you ever kissed or have been physical intimate before? Do you go on actual dates? He seems to just view you as a friend from what you describe. Link to comment
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