Am i overthinking? Partner wants to go away alone

[j.man]

Get over it or dump him. He didn't choose his blood. Do you think his brother shows up with a Russian harem to entice your boyfriend or something?

[RedDress]

So... I’ll be honest... this is not something I would automatically be ok with...

 

Situations that I would absolutely be ok with:

- if he wants to go away for a day to fish and clear his head (we all need this from time to time)

- going for a weekend away with his buddies

- going early and meeting up with his buddies in a day or so

- this is a “known” /established thing for him (ie: in the last 15 months of knowing him, he’s talked about other times he has gone off and done this)

- it’s just a natural “fit” with his personality (ie: he’s outdoorsy and independent, introverted, always talks about fishing, etc)

 

All those things I would be ok with.

 

... but if this is a break from his personality (ie: he’s super outgoing and normally wants to be around people) and it’s not something he’s ever talked about doing... yes... i would be highly suspicious. NOT because of his brother (that’s irrelevant) - but because it’s uncharacteristic of him.

 

Context is everything.

[katrina1980]

 

... he was away fishing for 4 days 2 weeks ago and hardly communicated.

 

Second multi-day trip alone within 2-3 weeks to a place with no reception?

 

As I posted, no problem taking time away from each other but that's a bit weird.

 

You've been dating 15 months, has he always been so into fishing or is this a new hobby?

 

And are these multi-day trips alone standard for him, or also something new?

[Pocketrocket]

Second multi-day trip alone within 2-3 weeks to a place with no reception?

 

As I posted, no problem taking time away from each other but that's a bit weird.

 

You've been dating 15 months, has he always been so into fishing or is this a new hobby?

 

And are these multi-day trips alone standard for him, or also something new?

 

He loves fishing very passionate about it .. has all the gear for big fish etc

He went 2 weeks ago with his dad and brother so not alone

He is on 3 weeks holiday and wants to fit more fishing in before returning to work

[MissCanuck]

I trust him but the brother has turned up before with random chics.. i wasnt on the scene then

 

So?

 

If your boyfriend is trustworthy, who his brother happens to show up with should not pose any threat to your relationship.

[katrina1980]

He loves fishing very passionate about it .. has all the gear for big fish etc

He went 2 weeks ago with his dad and brother so not alone

He is on 3 weeks holiday and wants to fit more fishing in before returning to work

 

Ok that makes sense. Fishing is one of those hobbies like golf I think, people can become sort of addicted to it; my late dad was a huge golfer, every weekend that's pretty much all he did after he retired, traveled playing in tournaments throughout the country.

 

Fortunately my step mom shared his passion and they golfed together, but fishing is more a lone sport so if that's what he's into, may as well get used to him being gone a lot.

 

What kind of fish does he catch, does he keep, clean and eat, or toss them back?

[thisisrichey]

i can totally see why you might think that. but we're talking FISHING.

Fishing is often about just being alone, quiet time, relaxing. Since you are already doing a few days together immeidately beforehand - i don't see anything wrong with this.

 

Having "me time" and personal pursuits away from each other is a healthy thing.

[catfeeder]

We are going away for a few days together just before he goes but find it strange he is going alone (all his friends are working or busy) Whats your thoughts?

 

I find it strange that anyone would ask this. It's alone time. Some people crave it, and that's not a reflection on their partner.

[Jellybean9]

I'm sure if he was thinking of cheating while out camping. He would have never ever told you the story of his cheating brother!

 

I do think he just wants some alone time. You have to love a bit of "me" time. For me it's a pamper day. For him it's a bit of fishing.

 

You guys are spending time together before. So I genuinely do not think anything untoward is happening.

 

Enjoy you time with him before the fishing trip. Then let him go off and enjoy his "me" time.

 

I am a big believer in "me" time in a relationship :)

[abitbroken]

Yup. Overthinking. Big time. Don't give the guy hassle about it.