Tch127 Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 So me and my ex broke it off about 5 months ago. When it first happened I spent about 3 months just being really angry about how we split and in a way just brushed the whole thing off. I always knew how much she meant to me but it took three months for the loss to really hit me like a ton of bricks. Just to explain the situation alittle better she is 9 years older than me. We broke up because I wasn't very good at including her in things I would do with freinds and family and was very dodgy when she would invite me around hers, she said I made her feel unwanted. I didn't always leave her out but I didn't make the effort I should have. Probably because I felt at the time that the age difference between her freinds and my freinds just wouldn't allow the social aspects of our life to work. I realize that was dumb of me because with how much we cared for eachother our freinds and family would have been happy for us. At one point she wanted me to move in with her and it kinda freaked me out honestly. I've never felt this strongly about someone and with that and the age difference I really just let the fear of it all get to me. To be clear when we were alone together I never saw the age difference it honestly felt meant to be...but the social side of things frightened me. Well anyway not everyday but hear and there over the last two months I've been trying to reach out to her...mainly with texts and voice mails...more often than not she wouldn't respond and when she did it was only to ask me to stop so that both of us can heal. I've always told her how I love her but I never was very good at showing her when we were together. Through my heartbreak I've come to realize how much I truly don't care about anything I was afraid of before. From living with her, to bringing her around every social gathering, or even sharing a holiday with her family. None of it scares me anymore I'm ready to finally be the man she deserves. I realize that it may be too late now but I'm a strong believer in the whole "it's never too late" thing. Even though she's asked me to stop contacting her I simply couldn't move on unless I got a chance to express my self and got everything I wanted to say out. So I decided to sit down and write a letter. I spent 3 days writing and re writing what turned out to be a 4 page love letter(alittle long I know). Quite honestly it was very therapeutic. I covered everything from the the first time I saw her and how she made me feel to when I first realized how much I loved her. I stated that I knew my mistakes were avoidable and I would never be able to forgive myself for making her ever feel unwanted or alone. I said everything I would do differently. I said that I knew I could make her happy and she was the only woman I wanted to be with. I stated how much I would continue to miss her if I never get to see her again and would never stop caring for her. I said that I wouldn't say goodbye because I would continue to pray that maybe one day I get the chance to show her who I really am but if I never see her again I hoped she found everything she ever wanted. I mean I really put everything out there and in a way it helped. Well I drove to her house and put the letter next to her door about 2 days ago. Part of me expected for an immediate phone call or for her to show up at my door and everything be ok( hopeless romantic I know) and part of me expected her to never read it at all. In reality the truth is probably somewhere in between. The overall point of this post is to ask advice and opinions. What should I expect? If I'm going to get a call or reply what's a reasonable time to hold out for. Should I wait a week before never expecting to hear from her? A month? Does anyone think she'll read it? It's been suggested to me that she will read it even just out of curiosity. Even if she doesn't read it right away how long do y'all think it could take for her to open it? It's been two days and I still have hope that I'll hear from her and I might never give up that hope. Realistically though how long do y'all think it could take for her to reply? Every day I don't hear from her hurts alittle more but I'm staying as positive as I can. Btw I realize that if she was with someone else it might effect the response I get or if I ever get one at all. That being said I don't think she is with anyone just based off of social media and the fact that there's never another car in her driveway ( she lives nearby and off a main road so I know its a bad idea but sometimes curiosity gets to me so I can't help but look as I drive by). I ended the letter by saying that I'll love her forever and always but she wouldn't have to hear from me again if she didn't want to. As hard as that may get I feel obliged to truly put this in gods hands at this point and not contact her unless she reaches out first. So it's not as simple as asking for a response, although it never is a guess. Anyway I appreciate any advice or confidence boosters y'all can give! Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.