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How can I tell a woman I don't want to ejaculate during sex without her being offended?

ironpony

By ironpony
in Sex and Romance

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figureitout23 Grand Master

figureitout23

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And if she finished her period two days before you had sex -- she is entering her fertile period....you know that, don't you?

 

Since when? A normal cycle is 28 days, how long are you saying women are fertile? 26 of those days?

 

Basically the ejaculation either pushed it off, or it rolled over when from going flaccid. Not sure as I did not look down. All of a sudden it was off. And yes I did leave about an inch of slack if that's enough.

 

I tried polyurethane once with a woman who was allergic to latex but I found I had trouble getting hard in the condom as I would shrink back down. I think it's cause the polyurethane is just so dry feeling compared to latex. I used magnum condoms. I tried non-magnums before but they were so tight, and I couldn't stay hard in them cause of the tightness. with magnums I stay hard.

 

Ahhhhh, the 'I need magnums' dudes...have you seen videos of things a regular condom can fit around? I don't know your size, but if it's coming off. It's too big, stop with the magnums.

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panther Contributor

panther

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Posted
Since when? A normal cycle is 28 days, how long are you saying women are fertile? 26 of those days?

 

No, if the period ended 2 days ago she is already on day 7 or 8 of her cycle, assuming a period lasts for about 5 days. Sperm can stay alive inside a women for a couple of days, so 2 days after menstruation ended may start to get dangerous, yes.

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superfan Collaborator

superfan

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Posted

I echo what others have said. If the condom is slipping off, it's too big.

 

Also even if you don't want to ejaculate inside of your partner for safety reasons, you are still wearing a condom, yes? Because even if you "pull out" you can still get a woman pregnant. Pre ejaculate can have sperm in it that can very easily impregnate a woman (hence what another poster said about there being lots of 'pull out babies' running around out there). ALWAYS wear a condom, even if you don't intend to finish inside your partner.

 

Nobody can force you to do something during sex and it is understandable that you would be worried especially if you allowed yourself to be convinced into doing something you weren't comfortable with. The important thing is to ALWAYS wear protection, wear the right kind of protection (the right fit), put it on properly and make sure that you set your boundaries and stick to them.

 

If you don't think she is willing to take the plan B pill you can't force her. That's the difficult part of this sort of thing. Reasons she might not want to take the plan B pill include embarrassment over going to get it, the cost, the physical side effects, etc.

 

If you want to mention it to her, offer to go with her and pay for it. It might cause her to change her mind.

 

As for her fertility, I am also 2 days after my period. I have an app on my phone that tracks fertility and my period. According to my app, I am 2 days away from being "fertile", but of course as others mentioned sperm can live in the body for a few days and this app only guesses at my ovulation time. If a woman is not very regular or has a weird cycle it could be dangerous.

 

You made a mistake and there's not much you can do about it at this point except offer to pay for the plan B and hope she goes for it and learn from this mistake in the future.

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ironpony Community Regular

ironpony

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An inch for enough slack? That’s way too much...

 

Oh, okay. How much is good then?

 

I echo what others have said. If the condom is slipping off, it's too big.

 

Also even if you don't want to ejaculate inside of your partner for safety reasons, you are still wearing a condom, yes? Because even if you "pull out" you can still get a woman pregnant. Pre ejaculate can have sperm in it that can very easily impregnate a woman (hence what another poster said about there being lots of 'pull out babies' running around out there). ALWAYS wear a condom, even if you don't intend to finish inside your partner.

 

Nobody can force you to do something during sex and it is understandable that you would be worried especially if you allowed yourself to be convinced into doing something you weren't comfortable with. The important thing is to ALWAYS wear protection, wear the right kind of protection (the right fit), put it on properly and make sure that you set your boundaries and stick to them.

 

If you don't think she is willing to take the plan B pill you can't force her. That's the difficult part of this sort of thing. Reasons she might not want to take the plan B pill include embarrassment over going to get it, the cost, the physical side effects, etc.

 

If you want to mention it to her, offer to go with her and pay for it. It might cause her to change her mind.

 

As for her fertility, I am also 2 days after my period. I have an app on my phone that tracks fertility and my period. According to my app, I am 2 days away from being "fertile", but of course as others mentioned sperm can live in the body for a few days and this app only guesses at my ovulation time. If a woman is not very regular or has a weird cycle it could be dangerous.

 

You made a mistake and there's not much you can do about it at this point except offer to pay for the plan B and hope she goes for it and learn from this mistake in the future.

 

Yeah I wear a condom all the time, and I pull out before ejaculating, even with the condom on. I know wearing a condom is still a risk of pregnancy I just feel more comfortable minimizing the risk, but ejaculating after pulling out, even with the condom on. But I didn't do it this time and now an in fear of pregnancy as a result, since the condom came off.

 

Well I had a talk with her about and brought up the plan B pill, but she was already saying that I am being paranoid and making too big of a deal out of it. When I brought up the Plan B, she got ticked off, and said she's not going to take anything.

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superfan Collaborator

superfan

Posted
Posted
Yeah I wear a condom all the time, and I pull out before ejaculating, even with the condom on. I know wearing a condom is still a risk of pregnancy I just feel more comfortable minimizing the risk, but ejaculating after pulling out, even with the condom on. But I didn't do it this time and now an in fear of pregnancy as a result, since the condom came off.

 

I understand your anxiety. I really do think you are wearing condoms that are too big if it slipped off.

 

Well I had a talk with her about and brought up the plan B pill, but she was already saying that I am being paranoid and making too big of a deal out of it. When I brought up the Plan B, she got ticked off, and said she's not going to take anything.

 

Unfortunately that is her right and you can't force her if she doesn't want to take it. It CAN come with some pretty awful physical side effects so some women can't or don't want to take it. Also, it should be noted that for women over 175lbs the plan B isn't really effective anyway. I don't know what she weighs but if it is over that, there really isn't much point.

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superfan Collaborator

superfan

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Posted
Oh yeah I don't want to force her too for sure, just thought I would bring it up to her, based on what others have said. She is over 220 for sure. My last gf before her was 219, and she is bigger than her.

 

Then it won't be effective anyway so you can put that out of your mind as an option.

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Wiseman2 Grand Master

Wiseman2

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Posted

Let her go to a clinic and talk to someone or at least speak to a pharmacist with accurate up to date information.

I was thinking, is it really completely ineffective for women over 175? Cause if I told her that I was wrong and that it won't work for women of her weight, then she might feel bad about her weight and actually take the pill in response to the weight comment.
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ironpony Community Regular

ironpony

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Oh yeah, but I don't think she will go for it, even if I offer to pay, which I would have paid for anyway.

 

We have been dating for a few weeks now.

 

As for the pull out method, it's not like I ejaculate right after I pull out. Sometimes I still need a few second after pulling out, I can't time it that accurately.

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Snny Experienced

Snny

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Posted
As for the pull out method, it's not like I ejaculate right after I pull out. Sometimes I still need a few second after pulling out, I can't time it that accurately.

 

Guess what - my husband got me pregnant through the pullout method. Sperm was in his pre fluids.

 

Always wear a condom. Pull out is the most ineffective method for preventing pregnancy.

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ThatwasThen Grand Master

ThatwasThen

Posted
Posted
Yeah that's what I figured. But is there a better way to bring it up then, in another attempt?

How old are you guys and why would she be so irresponsible to not get the morning after pill when there was a condom accident? Tell her you want her to take the Morning After Pill and be done with this back and forth chatter.

 

If she won't take it, tell her you're going to tell her mother what happened and maybe she can talk some sense into her. I'm half joking but this is very immature of her to tell you to "not worry" when there is all kinds of reasons why you both should be.

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ironpony Community Regular

ironpony

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How old are you guys and why would she be so irresponsible to not get the morning after pill when there was a condom accident? Tell her you want her to take the Morning After Pill and be done with this back and forth chatter.

 

If she won't take it, tell her you're going to tell her mother what happened and maybe she can talk some sense into her. I'm half joking but this is very immature of her to tell you to "not worry" when there is all kinds of reasons why you both should be.

 

Well she says I didn't really came and it was more like a dry orgasm, which I guess it was. Sometimes I have dry orgasms, and this was one of them technically, which I didn't really explain much before. But I feel it's still better to be safe then sorry.

 

But it was already established that it will not work if the woman weighs over 175 though.

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annie24 Grand Master

annie24

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Oh okay. I'm surprised it only works for women not over 175, so many women weigh over that, so you think there would be a market, for a more effective pill.

 

There is a pill but it is not as easy to get. I have not used it but a friend told me about it. She had to have it rush shipped after the condom broke with her new bf.

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